Finding Us

by Debra Presley

  Connor opened the doors, and it took her a moment to adjust to the bright sun. Connor smiled easily, a charming, panty-melting smile that probably earned him more than his fair share of action. Were all Army men this hot?

  Danny helped her out of the van, and she took in the sea foam green house with white trim and large front porch. It had a beautifully manicured yard with a quaint stone path that led to the front door and also veered off toward the backyard.

  Connor opened the door.

  “Go on in,” Connor said. “Make yourself at home.”

  She entered the house, and the inside surprised her with its light colored walls and modern furnishings. She didn’t really have much of a chance to get a read on Connor, but she didn’t picture him being a clean-lines and minimalist kind of guy. On the drive to Connor’s house Abby had imaged Connor’s house would mirror the inside of his van.

  “Wow, this is beautiful.”

  “Not what you expected?” Danny asked behind her.

  “No,” she admitted.

  “Well, I’m highly offended. What did you expect?” Connor asked with a gasp. He managed to sound both mocking and shocked.

  She shrugged, opting for silence instead of embarrassing herself any further by admitting to them what she’d come up with in the twenty minute drive.

  Connor moved past her toward what she figured was the kitchen. Connor was a couple of inches shorter than Danny. Both men were pretty muscular but Danny’s biceps were bulkier and his muscles more defined. Plus he had a sexy tattoo on his left arm and shoulder that was made up of lines and symbols. Abby never had the nerve to ask, but it seemed meaningful. Still, she wouldn’t complain about either of them.

  “Make yourself at home. There’s a pool in the yard, or if you want, we can head to the beach. The bathroom is down the hall.” He pointed. “I don’t have much food in the house, but we can order something in.”

  She glanced outside at the pool, large and rectangular; it included a hot tub and small waterfall. And it invited her to come and relax.

  “Thank you. I might take advantage of your backyard. It looks quite peaceful.”

  “Go on,” Danny said, and he was so close that his breath tickled her hair and a shiver ran down her back. “Sophie canceled everything today,” he continued. “So you’re free to relax. No one knows where you are.”

  “It’s been too long. Thanks.” She opened the sliding glass door.

  “Here, don’t forget this.” Connor handed her a beer.

  She smiled at him, touched. Beer wasn’t her drink of choice, but it was still sweet. She walked outside and noticed there was also an outside kitchen toward the back of the yard with a huge barbeque grill, refrigerator, and stocked bar. She’d check out the offerings later. Right now, she planned to indulge in this respite, no matter how brief, from all the crap that Sean and her mother had leveled at her. Sighing happily, she sank into a comfy longue chair and enjoyed the warm rays on her skin.

  * * *

  Abby spent the next few hours relaxing and chatting with Connor and Danny. This was a rare treat for her, but considering the day she’d had, it was something she really needed. She even managed a short nap which helped to clear her mind. Abby knew it was time to talk to Danny about everything.

  “Hey sleepyhead. Feel any better?” Danny greeted her when she turned toward him in her chair.

  “Hey.” She yawned and sat up. “I can’t believe I fell asleep.”

  “You needed it. Are you hungry? We were just trying to decide what to order."

  “Where’s Sophie?

  “Sophie and Scott will be here soon. Probably best to wait for them before we order.”

  “Before they get here, can we talk for a few…alone, please?”

  “Yeah.” Danny hesitated slightly before he agreed.

  “Maybe inside? The sun’s getting to me.”

  “Sure.”

  He got up, and Abby followed behind him, while Connor stayed in the yard. They walked straight into the living room and sat down on the couch.

  “What’s up?”

  Abby didn’t know how or where to start. She fiddled with her phone. None of this would be easy to say and she felt sick to her stomach. “Remember when I told you I had something I wanted to talk to you about?”

  “I remember.”

  “I had to think on things.” Her phone buzzed but she didn’t even bother looking to see who it was. She was done with being terrified every time she heard her phone go off.

  “Well, Sean, he… well… he sent me a video. Claimed it was you and threatened to release it if I didn’t take him back.” She glanced over to find Danny staring at her intensely. It made her nervous. “I don’t think it was really you, but with everything that was going on…I didn’t know what to think or who to believe. I mean, I didn’t even believe in me.” She tried hard to fight back the tears filling her eyes. “And he’s been sending these awful text messages and calling…” Abby drew a deep breath and tried to collect her thoughts. “I don’t know where he even got my new number, but he leaves these voicemails…”

  “Wait. Back up a second. What video?” Danny’s brow crinkled together, one more sign that Abby was right to doubt the authenticity of the video.

  “I can show you.” Abby fumbled with her phone for a moment, but was able to find the email. “Here.” She handed the phone over and studied his face as he watched the video that had broken her heart.

  “You thought this was me?” he asked.

  Abby nodded but didn’t make eye contact with him. She couldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry,” she said. In hindsight, she was ashamed she ever thought it was Danny in that video.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Danny’s voice betrayed his emotions, and Abby knew she’d hurt him.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, Abby. Of course you know.” Danny tossed the phone on the coffee table in front of them.

  “I didn’t want you to get in trouble,” she whispered as she wiped away her tears.

  “In trouble? I don’t understand.”

  “I’m sorry,” Abby said again and sobbed into her hands.

  Danny pulled her into his arms and held her. His strong embrace was comforting.

  “It’s going to be okay. Tell me everything,” he ordered gently.

  “I’m scared,” she cried and buried her head into the crook of his neck.

  “How long has he been doing this?”

  “I don’t know. A while,” she mumbled against his shoulder. He smelled crisp and clean, with a slight hint of cologne.

  Danny’s hand gently rubbed up and down her back. His gentle touch felt so good, and she could feel her body calming down.

  “Everything will be fine. Take a deep breath.” His tone was soothing, but he pulled away before Abby was ready.

  Abby felt the sudden loss of his arms. She knew he wanted to talk, but she wasn’t sure what to say.

  “He must’ve said something to you so you wouldn’t tell me. What was it?”

  She rubbed her forehead. “I’ve been getting calls and texts from Sean since I caught him with that groupie. First it wasn’t that bad, just begging me to take him back. I could ignore those. Then…” She hesitated. “Then he told me he had a video of you and some groupie and that he’d release it and your career would be ruined.”

  “What? Is that why you had Sophie change your number?”

  “You knew?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I? She had to tell me.”

  She didn’t look at him. “You saw it, Danny. It looks enough like you to make people wonder. The video was shot during a performance. You can hear me singing in the background. Sean threatened to release it to the media if I didn’t take him back or if I said anything to anybody about the texts and calls. I couldn’t let that happen to you.” Even if it had been him with the groupie, she couldn’t bear for the world to see him like that.

  Danny sighed. “I’ve never had a thing with a groupie.
I wouldn’t touch that. I don’t know who’s on that video, but it isn’t me.”

  “He sent it to me.”

  “It isn’t me.” He stated firmly. The look in his eyes convinced her. “And besides, he’s gone from the tour. Has this video appeared anywhere? Because I’ve not seen it, and I’ve not been contacted by anyone. No reporters. No cameras. Nothing.”

  “I know, but he’s been texting and calling, and I didn’t know what to do. He’s crazy and violent and like I said, even if it wasn’t you in the video, he could say it was and then you’d have to spend all your time fighting the allegation. You know how it works in celebrity-ville.”

  He paused, and at least he didn’t seem disappointed anymore.

  “That night in my dressing room,” she said after a few moments. “Things escalated so quickly, and I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me. Then when he left, I didn’t want you to get in trouble or put your career in jeopardy. He kept telling me that you’d be ruined, and that’s the last thing I want. I figured I’d change my number so he couldn’t harass me anymore. End of problem.”

  “As much as I appreciate your concern for my safety and reputation, I’m more worried about yours. Changing your number won’t stop him. Sure, it probably delayed him a bit, but trust me, it won’t stop him. Guys like him always find a way to try to intimidate and frighten their targets.”

  Damn Sean. Why had she let him browbeat her into a corner where even common sense was suspect?

  “I’m going to take care of this. You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ve got it covered. Are we good?” he asked, searching her face with his gaze.

  “You’re not mad?”

  He smiled. “No. I understand why you didn’t tell me. Thanks for trying to protect me. But when it interferes with your own safety, it’s always better to talk to me. I’m here to protect you. Not the other way around.”

  Abby nodded; Danny made it all sound so simple.

  “Okay. Let’s change your number again first thing tomorrow.” He helped her to her feet and gave her a half-hug.

  She relaxed into his side. She finally wouldn’t have to worry about Sean. Danny was going to take care of it. “Okay,” she said, not hiding the relief she felt.

  “That was good,” Abby said and threw out the plastic container her dinner came in. “But I can’t wait until I can eat dairy. I miss cheese.” She was counting down the hours until she could indulge in foods like pizza and cheese omelets.

  “Why can’t you have cheese?” Connor asked with an amused tone.

  “Because it screws with my vocals. I have two weeks off to binge on cheese pizza and mocha lattes made with milk, and I can’t wait.”

  “I guess I know where your first stop will be,” Danny teased.

  “Brooklyn,” Abby and Sophie said in unison. Abby’s favorite pizzeria was located in Brooklyn. Getting pizza and an ice at L&B Spumoni Gardens after spending the day on the rides at Nelly Bly was one of the few fun memories from her childhood. Sometimes her father took her in the morning, usually after one of her parents’ epic fights. They were so loud. Her mom would yell, and her dad would yell louder. Then he’d stop yelling, and her mom would start crying and begging him to stop. Abby spent those nights curled up in the back of her closet, trying to block them out by quietly singing to herself. It never worked.

  “How long until I have to get ready?” Abby asked Sophie.

  “A little over an hour.”

  “Oh wow, would you all mind if—”

  A knock at the door stopped Abby. “I have a visitor asking to see you Abby,” Scott said.

  Abby could hear her mother bitching in the background. Did she really want to deal with her? She was kinda nervous about it. Outside of Abby’s angry outburst over the phone, she hadn’t talked to her mom since Stephanie showed her those photos. Abby knew avoiding her mother wasn’t the best option no matter how much she didn’t want to deal with it. Now or ever.

  “It’s fine Scott. She’s my mom.”

  Scott moved out of the way, and Vivien strolled through the door.

  “Abigail.”

  “Mother.” Abby waited. She wouldn’t avoid her, but she wasn’t going to initiate conversation either.

  “I need to speak with you alone,” Vivien announced to the room. Her voice just as arrogant as always. It almost surprised Abby. She had hoped she’d hear some kind of regret. She’d even take being uncomfortable as a sign of hope that her mother had a heart.

  “I’m not sure now’s the time to—” Abby began.

  “Please…Abby, we really need to talk. Alone.” Her voice cracked, and something unfamiliar to Abby’s ears broke through. Sorrow? Regret? She had no idea, but it was something.

  Abby wanted to be heartless, to be cold. She wanted her mom to suffer just like Abby had when she first saw those pictures. But she just couldn’t do it. Her mom looked so…pensive and contrite as if she might be genuinely upset. It was such a strange state for Vivien that Abby had no choice but to take pity on her. Besides, Ms. Sohm would be disappointed with anything less.

  “Fine. Could you all give us a few minutes alone please?”

  Danny and Sophie stared at her skeptically, but she wouldn’t back down. She needed to talk to her mom as much as her mom needed to talk to her. She might as well get it over with now so it wasn’t something hanging over her head while on break.

  “We’re good. I promise.” She assured them.

  “I’ll go make sure the crew is on schedule,” Sophie said and left.

  “I’ll be right outside.” Danny hesitated but eventually he too left, and Connor followed behind him.

  Abby waited until the door closed to face her mother. “What do you want?” Abby crossed her arm. She felt a battle brewing inside herself, and she tried to contain it. This conversation wasn’t going to be easy. She doubted it would even be civil.

  Her mother crossed the room and sat on the couch. “I’d like to explain. Please, sit and listen.”

  “Why? What’s the point?” She hated their sudden role reversal where her mom was being calm and rational and trying to talk things out, while Abby was being emotional and reactive. She was closed off to the possibility of compromise. She didn’t want to listen. She just wanted her mom to admit she was an awful human being and then go.

  “If you’d let me—”

  “No. I don’t want to hear it.” Abby turned toward the door.

  “Abigail. He knew.” Vivien nearly shouted.

  Abby stopped. What did Sean know? Vivien’s statement was so vague, and with her it could mean almost anything. “Knew what?”

  “About your father, about me, about our past.”

  “So?” Abby stared at her mother. “Who cares? He was an abusive drunk. No big story there. I could see the press spinning it for a while, but they’d move on. How does that justify you fucking my boyfriend?”

  “Please Abigail, please…come sit. There’s so much more.”

  Tears welled up in her mother’s eyes. They even looked real. Abby was so conflicted. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to believe her mother had a real reason, but on the other hand, what could possibly make this okay?

  “You have five minutes. No more.”

  “Please sit.”

  Abby joined her on the couch, but kept her distance.

  “This isn’t something I ever thought I’d tell you. Or even wanted to speak of again, but I’ve been left with no choice. We’ve never had a typical mother-daughter relationship, and I’m not trying for that now. I’m not stupid enough to think that this is going to change us in any way, but I’m not heartless.” Vivien paused to wipe away a stray tear that fell down her cheek.

  “Just say it. Whatever it is. Nothing could make this any worse.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” Vivien took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Abby didn’t like her change in demeanor. Whatever she was about to say was big, and suddenly Abby didn’t want to know. Before she could get
off the couch to leave, Vivien began, “The man you remember as your father wasn’t. He…he was my…he let his friends…and others…for money…” Vivien nearly choked on the last few words. “I don’t know which of them is your father.”

  Abby clutched the cushion beneath her. She needed something that made her feel grounded because right now nothing made sense. What did her mother just say? This had to be some sort of joke. Another cruel thing her mother was doing to her. Why? To punish her? Keep her in line? She didn’t know the reason, but it didn’t matter. This couldn’t be true.

  “Abigail? Abby, say something.” Vivien’s voice broke through the hazy fog Abby had fallen into.

  “Wait. I don’t understand… This can’t… I’m not… You… You must be lying.”

  “God I wish I was. I never wanted you to know. Sean found out. I don’t know how, but he did, and he threatened me with it. He was going to expose our secret.”

  “Our secret? This isn’t our secret. This is yours.”

  “You’re in shock. You aren’t thinking clearly right now. This can’t ever come out. This would ruin you. I did what I had to do to protect you. He wanted to take this to the press. They’d have a field day with this. Do you understand?” Vivien reached for Abby’s hand, but Abby jumped up before she could make contact.

  “Don’t tell me how I feel and don’t touch me. Ever. None of that has to do with me. How were you protecting me? How?” she shouted.

  “Abigail, lower your voice,” Vivien begged.

  Abby turned when she heard the door open.

  “Everything all right in here?” Danny asked.

  Abby didn’t know how to answer that. Physically she was all right, but mentally she was far from it. “We’re fine. Thanks.” She gave him a half-hearted smile.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes, we just need another minute.”

  Danny hesitated a moment, then closed the door.

  “Does he ever mind his own business?”

  “I am his business. So what else, Mother? Is that it?”

  “Abby…I was a very different person back then. My parents…were…not supportive. I had no money. No place to live. I did what I had to do to make it through.”