Finding Us

by Debra Presley

  “How dare you? Don’t you touch me,” Vivien snapped at King as he reached for her arm to escort her out.

  He pulled his hand back and motioned her to the door.

  She waited as King escorted Vivien out of the office. “Sophie?”

  “Yes?” Sophie’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

  “One more thing to do.” Abby glanced toward the front office where Dawn was sitting.

  “Right. On it.” She left.

  “You okay?” Danny said. He looked like he wasn’t sure what to do with her.

  “Actually, I’m really good. That felt…awesome. And amazing.” Was this empowerment? Because damn, she wanted more.

  “It was.” Danny smiled at her.

  “I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me.”

  “You were incredible. I’m actually speechless.” He sounded impressed.

  “You? Who knew that could happen?” She let a breath out and collapsed onto the couch. “Once I started, I let it all go.”

  “She deserved every word.”

  “Oh, I know.”

  They looked toward the door when they heard the commotion in the reception area.

  “Dawn was not happy with being kicked to the curb. Oh well.” Sophie shrugged.

  Abby grinned. “They’re gone?”

  “All gone. The guys are escorting them out.”

  “Perfect.”

  Sophie plopped down next to her and gave her a side-hug. “I can take it from here.”

  “You sure?”

  “Girl, I got this shit covered. If I need you, I’ll call. You need to bail before Vivien calls the press and you’re stuck in this building.”

  “Good point.” And her mother would. She was probably calling right now. Abby got up and gave Sophie another hug and quick kiss.

  “Okay, the guys are waiting downstairs for us.” Danny placed his phone in his pants pocket.

  “Great. Let’s go.”

  * * *

  A couple of days later, Abby packed her bags again. This time, however, she was heading to her small house on Long Island Beach in New Jersey. She loved it there because it was peaceful and the locals left her alone. She had a separate guesthouse in the backyard that she had converted into a state of the art recording studio and that’s where she wanted to be.

  “Abby?”

  She turned and looked at King.

  “Ready?”

  “I’m gathering a few more things. I’ll be good to go in a few.”

  “Great.” He retreated.

  She threw the last of her things in her suitcase and headed out to King and Freddie. Danny wasn’t going with her to New Jersey. He needed to check in with other clients. Abby was a bit disappointed but she understood. He had a successful firm that dealt with many high profile clients and he couldn’t devote all his time to her. She had been lucky that he had taken the lead on her tour but all good things must come to an end. Still, it felt bittersweet.

  The ride to her house took nearly three hours and when they finally arrived Abby was itching to get out of the car. She waited with Freddie as King did a walk through before she helped them bring in her luggage and groceries.

  “I haven’t been here in a long time,” Abby said. “So, it’s a bit stuffy but once I open some windows we should get a nice breeze.”

  As she walked through each room she pulled off the sheets that had been covering the furniture. Abby loved her house. It was one of the few places she owned that her mother had never been. There wasn’t one piece of Vivien in this entire house. Abby’s style was comfortable and relaxed with light wood floors and white walls. The soft white furnishings were accented with various shades of red, from light to dark, on pillows, frames and curtains.

  “Hey, guys. I’ll show you the best part. You’ll probably want to check it out anyway.” She motioned for the guys to follow her through the kitchen and out the back porch doors. “Isn’t it amazing?” She headed toward the pool. “I bought this house for three reasons. The view, the pool and this.” She motioned toward the independent building. “Welcome to Magnolia Studios, gentlemen.” She unlocked the door and rushed inside to turn the alarm off.

  The large room held two white couches, beanbag chairs, several small throw rugs in a red damask pattern. On the walls hung several guitars and shelves that stored notebooks, smaller instruments and a ton of candles. Chandeliers hung from the high ceilings and in the corner there was a black grand piano.

  “This is pretty cool,” Freddie said, his voice filled with appreciation.

  “Isn’t it? Do you play at all?” Abby noticed him staring at the guitars that hung neatly on the wall.

  “I used to play guitar, but I haven’t in a long time.”

  “Feel free to jam out whenever you want. My producer, Aisling, will be here in a few days to help me with a new project.” Abby had spent a lot of money to get her, too. One of the hottest producers around didn’t have free time.

  “She’s worked with some amazing artists. Jamming with her would be a dream come true.”

  “I know. I flipped out when she agreed to work with me on this album.”

  “Everything looks good in here.”

  They went back into the house and Abby started the tedious process of unpacking and settling in.

  * * *

  Abby didn’t want to waste any time so the next day she went straight to work. She was determined to get the lyrics and music she’d written over the last few weeks recorded while the guys upgraded her security system.

  While she was fiddling around on her piano, her cell phone rang.

  “Hello,” Abby answered.

  “Hey, it’s Aisling.”

  “Hi. What’s up?” Abby greeted.

  “I got here early and I’m settling into the house I’m renting,” Aisling explained. “I wanted to touch base and see when you wanted me to come over.”

  “Whenever you want. I’m in the studio now just getting my bearings.”

  “Excellent. How about we meet up somewhere tonight and I’ll introduce you to my team and we’ll get to know each other a little better, see what kinds of vibes we can produce.”

  “Perfect. How about we meet at The Hardware?” Abby suggested.

  The Hardware was a local bar that Abby often frequented when she was at the shore.

  “I’ll see you at say eleven?” Aisling suggested.

  “See you then.”

  Abby hung up, stared at the piano keys for a second, then whooped. Finally. She finally felt like she was moving on with her life.

  “Hi. It is so nice to meet you,” Abby said as she hugged her new producer. “I’m so excited to work with you.” The bar was crowded, but Abby felt comfortable. She had begun to think she’d never feel that way again, but King had called for two more guards, and they surrounded her. There was no one getting next to her tonight.

  “Same goes for me. I was thrilled when I got the call. Let’s get you a drink.”

  Abby ordered a beer and chatted with Aisling and her crew. She had her assistant, co-producer, and engineers with her. They were all very friendly and easy to get along with.

  “How long have you been working together?”

  “The last three years.” Aisling shouted over the music blaring from the DJ’s speakers.

  “What made you decide to reach out to Aisling?” Jax, Aisling’s co-producer, asked.

  “I love her work. And I need someone who’ll push me beyond my limits.”

  “She’ll do that.” He smiled, and it lit up his gray eyes. He looked like a quintessential rocker dude, with his long, messy brown hair. Kind of sexy. “Let me get you another drink.”

  “I’m good, but thanks.” She wasn’t about to let anyone get her a drink other than her guards.

  She had been worried that she’d feel uncomfortable around Aisling and her production crew, but that wasn’t the case. The more they talked, the more excited Abby got about working with Aisling and her staff.

&n
bsp; “Dance?” Jax pulled Abby off her seat and into his arms before she even had a chance to protest. He held her close as they danced next to their table. He ground his hips into hers, and she let herself enjoy the attention. His playfulness and flirting were refreshing. It was nice to go out and have fun.

  “It’s getting way too late. I’m not use to this rocker life,” Abby winked. Abby hadn’t ever followed a normal schedule; starting her night late and ending it in the wee hours of the morning was part of the norm. Especially when she was on tour. She and Aisling shared that in common.

  “We start in two days. So make sure you’re ready for me to kick that sweet ass of yours,” Aisling teased.

  By the time she left the bar, Abby was feeling quite proud of herself. She was finally on her way to controlling her own career and life.

  This would be the first album that was totally hers. The first time she had complete control of her music and her life. She was about to find out what kind of woman she really was, and she couldn’t be happier about the challenges ahead.

  * * *

  “Abigail, sweetie that song is amazing. I’m so proud of you. This is going to be the album that shows everyone what I already know.” Ms. Sohm gave Abby a warm loving hug. Abby had invited her former teacher and mother figure to her house so that she could spend some quality time with her and show Ms. Sohm that she was healing.

  “Thank you. I’m really excited to get started tomorrow.” This project was a long time coming. Her music. Her melodies. Her lyrics.

  “It’s going to be amazing. I just know it.” Ms. Sohm picked up her cup of tea and took a sip.

  “I hope so. This is all so new, and it feels like it all fell into place too easily.” Abby stood up from her piano seat and joined Ms. Sohm on the couch. She had a lot of nervous energy and found it hard to sit still lately.

  “You’ll be fine. Just let the music guide you. Now, enough about work, how are you?

  “I’m good.” Wasn’t that the biggest lie ever? She was in one piece, but she was not good. She was scared and excited and freaked and a million other emotions that she couldn’t admit to.

  “You can’t pull that ‘I’m good’ stuff on me, young lady. I followed what happened in the news.”

  She should have known better. Ms. Sohm knew her too well to let that line slide. “Well, I was freaked, of course, and I still have nightmares.”

  “That’s understandable. What happened to you was horrific. Anyone would have nightmares.”

  “I talk with Sophie all the time, and Danny too, though not as much lately. They’ve been really helpful.”

  “I’ve noticed the news coverage has died down a bit.”

  “Yes. Since I came here, it’s a lot better. I don’t have to deal with crowds so much, and that’s a good thing for now. They come with what I do, but depending where I am, my panic can get bad. I try to fight through it because I can’t avoid crowds forever. For now, though, I don’t go out without guards.”

  “Well you shouldn’t go out without someone. Even before all this.” Ms. Sohm scolded her.

  “I never went anywhere major without someone with me, but I could walk around my neighborhood in the city and no one would even look twice. Now I can’t leave the house without worrying about the reporters camped out in front of my apartment building. The only reason why they aren’t a fixture on my front yard here is because I’m in a private community.” And thank God for that. She needed time to feel free rather than suffocated and closed off from the world. Her house here was right on the beach. She could walk down her deck steps and put her feet in the sand and just be. She didn’t need to act a certain way or worry about being photographed.

  This is her life now. With all she’d been through, it was natural to feel scared, but she wasn’t complaining about her fans. She was grateful for all her success, but it was nice to have a moment to just breathe.

  “It’ll get better. You just gotta give yourself some time. You were attacked, and that’s traumatizing. Spend time with yourself these next few weeks. Decide what you want in your life,” Ms. Sohm encouraged.

  That was Abby’s plan. Abby had always come to her for advice, and it was satisfying to hear those words from Ms. Sohm. Maybe Abby was on the right track. It felt like she was, but Abby spent a lot of time second-guessing herself. Making decisions shouldn’t be so hard, but the fact was Abby hadn’t ever been responsible for herself. Someone else made all the decisions, from the simple to the complex. She had been a follower. Jumping head first into the leader position was scary, and it should be okay to admit that she’s terrified.

  “I know but it’s so hard. I’ve been micromanaged for so long I don’t even know where to begin.” She took a shuttered breath. She didn’t want to cry again, but all of this unknown terrified her. “I feel lost, and it’s so damn scary. I wanted my independence, and now I have it. And I’m clueless.” Abby placed her head on Ms. Sohm’s shoulder and tucked her legs under her. What was she suppose to do? Where did she even start? She didn’t want to feel like she was some pathetic loser who had to have her mommy do everything for her. She knew the reputation she had in the industry. She wasn’t deaf and certainly wasn’t dumb. Everyone knew if someone wanted anything, then that person went to Vivien not Abby. Now she had to not only get her life in order, but she had to prove to the industry that she could be her own person.

  “You’re not clueless, but you’re right; it is scary. But you’re also not alone. Not having your mother around doesn’t mean you have to do it all with no help. Don’t use that as an excuse not to step out on your own. You’ll make mistakes, but if you surround yourself with people you trust, then things will get easier.” Ms. Sohm curled her arm around Abby.

  Abby let that sink in. She fought so hard to break free; was she using her mother as a reason to give up before she even started? Ms. Sohm was right. Abby didn’t have to do it on her own. Asking for help didn’t have to mean a loss in control. But still it was hard. Abby had Sophie. That girl was the master of efficacy, knew everything that was going on, had a ton of contacts, and was a really good friend.

  “I feel like I have a few people I can trust now. Of course there’s you.” She turned to look at Ms. Sohm. “And Sophie is amazing. She’s had my back since the day we hired her.” If only Sophie could manage her? She sat up. That was it. Why couldn’t she? Abby trusted her, people knew Sophie, and there’d be no awkward transition or fear that her ideas wouldn’t be heard. “I’ve just had a great idea!” Abby was so overjoyed that she wanted to jump up and down in her seat.

  “What? I need to know what put that look on your face?”

  “I’m going to ask Sophie to manage me. I’ve been so worried about who I’d find, if we’d get along and if they’d listen to me. This is the perfect solution, and really, she’s the right fit. She knows me, the business, and we talk all the time, so she knows what I want out of my career. She’d never overstep.”

  “Oh, I like Sophie. That sounds like a fabulous idea. You need to ask her.”

  “I will. I’ll call her later.” Abby felt such relief. Now she just had to ask and hope Sophie wanted to take that leap.

  “What’s going on with you and that handsome man that brought you to my house last time?”

  Abby stilled. That was out of left field. “Um, you mean Danny?”

  “Danny. Yes. That was his name. He’s always on TV with you.”

  Abby smiled. She couldn’t help it. Every time she thought of Danny, she smiled or laughed or just felt like a school girl with butterflies racing around in her stomach. “Nothing’s going on.” Why would she think something was going on?

  “That’s a shame.”

  “Well, he’s…he’s…” Abby found it hard to describe how she felt about him to someone else. She was still trying to figure that out for herself. Bodyguard didn’t cut it. Friend seemed somewhat off. She wouldn’t be thinking of him like this if he was just a friend.

  “You have feelings for him. D
on’t deny it. You know, you can’t hide things from me. Besides you’re blushing.”

  Abby felt her face warm. She was blushing, and now that Ms. Sohm pointed it out, she probably looked like a tomato. “I do, I guess. I just don’t know how he feels about me. I thought he felt the same, but then he says things that make me second-guess. Plus, it’s not the right time now. I need some space to figure myself out before I start a new relationship.” He confused her so much. Was she just a client to him? It didn’t feel that way. Sophie’s comments kept playing in Abby’s head. She’d employed a lot of bodyguards, and no one ever went out of their way for her like Danny. They did the bare minimum. Hanging out and bringing her to their house in the woods wasn’t in their business contract.

  “I agree; you need time but don’t let too much pass by. If you like him, why not tell him? I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

  “No way.” She jolted up. What way? She had to be mistaken. The last time she saw Ms. Sohm was over four months ago. “How? When?” She wanted Ms. Sohm to spill every last detail she remembered.

  “Listen to me. I may not be twenty anymore, but I know when a man cares for a woman, and that man has feelings for you. When you’re ready, you need to take the chance.”

  Ms. Sohm thought Danny was into her. Hmm…Abby let those words sink in while they spent the rest of the day chatting and eventually made their way to the boardwalk for some shopping. Were Ms. Sohm and Sophie right? Did Danny have feelings for her? This was all too much for now, and instead of wracking her brain with crazy scenarios, Abby decided to just enjoy the time with the person she considered to be her true mom.

  * * *

  It had been nearly three weeks and Abby, Aisling and her team had worked non-stop, day and night. The process wasn’t easy, and often Abby and Aisling butted heads, but the results were amazing.

  “I can’t do another take.” Abby grabbed her water and downed nearly half the bottle.

  “You can. One more. You’re almost there. Feel the music. Think about the lyrics. These are intense. Pull from those emotions. This is your story. Let your audience feel it too.”