Finding Us

by Debra Presley

  “I do…But it’s not something I share often, and it’s definitely not a time in my life I like to relive.”

  The waiter arrived with their wine. Abby waited while he poured a sample into Danny’s glass and waited for his approval. Danny nodded, and the waiter filled both of their glasses with her favorite wine. The show was all a bit too much for Abby. Right now all she wanted was to know what was making Danny nervous. Maybe he was having second thoughts?

  When the waiter left, Danny took a swallow of wine, as if preparing himself. “Okay, you know Connor and I are Army buddies.”

  She hesitated a moment but then nodded, wondering what he was going to tell her. Abby hadn’t expected him to talk about Connor or the Army. She took a drink from her own glass and tried to get a handle on her rising level of anxiety.

  “What you don’t know is it wasn’t just Connor and I that stuck together from basic training. There was a third person in our group.”

  “A third person?” He hadn’t talked about the Army much when they were touring, but since Connor arrived, he’d shared a few stories. Neither of them had mentioned anyone else. It was always just fun little stories about Danny and Connor. Why was this the first time hearing about a third person? Where did he go? Oh no, maybe he was killed? It was war after all. God, how awful. “Oh. I’m sorry. Did you lose somebody in combat?”

  “No, not in combat. Her name was Vanessa.” He paused and took a deep breath. “She and I were together…for a long time.”

  “Together?” Abby rolled that around in her mind. “As in, seeing each other?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I thought that wasn’t allowed in the military.” She didn’t know that, actually, but she had to say something, and that was the only thing that made it past the sudden, unexpected wave of jealousy. She sat a little straighter in her chair; she wasn’t proud of her desire to fight off this previously unknown threat to her new and still vulnerable relationship with Danny. Sure, she’d been involved with Sean for the past couple years, but that wasn’t the same. She tried to smile at Danny, to encourage him to continue, but she wasn’t looking forward to this conversation.

  “We were the same rank, so it was okay.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t really know what to say and was a little confused about why he was telling her this. But if it was important to him, she’d do her best to listen. She paused before asking, “What happened to her?”

  “She had a stalker.”

  “Oh, God.” And it was as if a light bulb turned on for Abby. That was why he was so intense about Sean. Had to be. He had been through this before. Where was Vanessa now? Was she okay?

  “He was someone she worked with often,” Danny said quietly. He stared at her, his gaze vulnerable and darkly intense.

  Abby sucked in a shocked breath. “How? Why?” And of course the waiter picked that moment to bring them their appetizers. Danny thanked him, and Abby took a moment to collect herself. This new information explained a lot about Danny, but that didn’t mean she was prepared to hear more about it.

  “He was a Private, and they worked closely together. Apparently he thought their working relationship was something more.”

  “She didn’t tell you?”

  “No.”

  She heard the pain behind his words.

  “Vanessa kept it all from me, and by the time I realized, it was too late. Looking back, there were signs, but I was so focused on our mission, I didn’t see them. She thought she could do it all, and that she could handle anything that came her way.”

  “Too late?”

  “He killed her.” He said through clenched teeth and averted his gaze. His eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

  “I’m so sorry.” God, that sounded so wrong, but she didn’t know what else to say. This all seemed too familiar for her. She could have been Vanessa. She almost was. If it hadn’t been for a little luck, Abby wouldn’t be here now. She knew she’d been fortunate, but in that moment, she realized just how fortunate. At the time, she’d understood enough to be afraid, but it was a generalized, muted fear that came from realizing she was vulnerable. She’d never actually thought she could die. And she’d had no idea how much it had affected Danny. Fuck, she’d been so clueless.

  “Can you understand now why I asked you to be honest with me and not keep me in the dark? I can’t lose you like I lost her. She thought she could handle him, or maybe she thought he’d get the hint and back off. I’m not sure. What I do know is if I had known, she’d still be here. I could have protected her.”

  Everything made sense, now. The way he reacted and how he tried to deal with her. She stared at him. “I’m sorry,” she said again.

  “You didn’t know, and I’m not big on sharing it.” Danny shrugged. “But I thought that you deserved to know.”

  “I really screwed up.” She fought back her emotions. How could she have been so blind?

  “How did you screw up?”

  “I should’ve told you what Sean was doing as soon as I started getting those calls and messages. Maybe if I did—”

  “Hey. It’s done.” He reached over and took her hand in his. “But now you know why I am the way I am. I’d lose my mind if something happened to you.”

  “Well, I learned my lesson.” Maybe Sean would’ve been arrested much sooner if she’d told Danny what was happening.

  “Stop it,” Danny said.

  “What?”

  “Guilt-tripping yourself. Everything worked out, and it’s okay, now. I didn’t tell you this to upset you. I just wanted you to know and to maybe understand me a bit better.”

  She nodded in agreement. There wasn’t really anything she could say to that.

  “Now eat. Before our main course comes. Don’t let this great food go to waste.”

  She took a deep breath and let it all go, before she picked up her fork, cut into the mozzarella and tomato, and took a bite. “Mmm, this balsamic glaze is delicious. Want to try some?”

  “You’d share that?”

  “Only if you give me a mushroom.”

  “I see how you are.” He laughed and speared a mushroom and handed her his fork. Abby took it and thought that right then, she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  Freddie stopped in front of the bar where they were meeting Aisling. She had texted earlier and invited Abby and Danny to join her at Sand and Salt, a small, but busy little bar located on the beach. King exited the car, but Abby and Danny waited for the all clear. There was a light mist of rain so there weren't too many people loitering outside, but once they saw Abby that could change.

  “Let's do this,” Abby heard King instruct the guys before he opened the car door. Danny slid out first, and she followed. She’d hoped he’d act like a guy on a date rather than her bodyguard, but instead of grabbing her hand or placing his arm over her shoulder, he joined the men in protecting her. No matter which way she looked there was a body blocking anyone else from getting close.

  They entered as a group, and her detail led her up a narrow staircase to the second floor. They continued through a small crowd to a roped-off area that seemed to be a makeshift VIP lounge with a few bouncers dedicated to crowd control. Danny grabbed her hand, and she was finally able to take in her surroundings.

  The room’s light blue walls, nautical pictures, and accessories made it feel like a ship, especially with the dim lighting. The bar was outside the roped off area. Ordering drinks would be inconvenient, but not really her concern. The back wall was entirely made up of floor to ceiling windows, with a wooden deck on the other side. No one was outside due to the weather, but the view was spectacular.

  She searched for the restroom sign and found it was tucked away toward the back of the bar. Luckily, not down a secluded hallway. She didn't know if she'd ever get over that fear, but she felt safe with Danny here. He would protect her and knowing that filled her with a warm sense of security.

  Aisling and her gang were already partying, and from the number of empty bot
tles on the table, Abby doubted they'd have a recording session tomorrow.

  Danny pulled her against his side, “I'm gonna grab a beer. Do you want anything?” He murmured in her ear. His breath tickled her neck.

  “A Malibu Bay Breeze, please.” She looked up and tilted her head so that she could give him a chaste kiss, but Danny had other ideas. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth and caressed hers. She tangled her fingers in his hair, pulled him closer, and let out a soft moan as arousal surged through her.

  Danny quickly broke the kiss. “I'll be right back,” he said with a knowing smile.

  Bastard. He knew what he’d done to her. She watched his ass until she couldn’t see him anymore.

  “Holy fuck, girl I need a fan, and I think you need a room.” Aisling smirked at her. Abby fought a blush and tried to shrug nonchalantly. Aisling gave her a knowing look and laughed. “I take it things are going good.”

  Abby smiled. “You could say that.”

  “Uh-huh. I don’t have to. That smile says it all.”

  “Do you think we can cancel this weekend’s sessions? I want to rest my voice.”

  Aisling laughed. “Oh, right. Rest your voice. Mmm hmm.”

  Abby’s face flushed with heat. So much for not blushing. But when it came down to it, she didn’t care who knew how she wanted to spend the weekend. None of that mattered compared to the thought of Danny doing…stuff.

  “We’ll start up again on Monday. But right now we need to party. Come on.” She grabbed Abby’s hand and brought her onto the dance floor.

  After a few songs Abby looked around for Danny. He was tucked in a corner booth. “I’ll be back,” she shouted over the music. She left the floor and made a beeline toward him.

  “Scoot over.” She nudged him. He adjusted, and she slid into the seat next to him and put her head on his shoulder. Danny pulled her closer.

  “Why are you over here?” she asked.

  “I don’t dance.”

  She laughed. “I bet I can make you.”

  “That’s one bet I’ll take.”

  “What do I get if I win?” She batted her eyes innocently at him.

  “What would you like?”

  “I’m sure I can think of something.” She sipped on the fruity beverage.

  “I can, too.” He looked at her, his eyes dark and intense.

  She played with the straw in her drink. It took all the will power she had not to jump him right then and there. She heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Aisling standing in front of her.

  “I’m stealing your girl.” Aisling hooked her hand around Abby’s wrist and pulled her to her feet.

  Abby bent down, gave Danny a quick peck on the cheek, and then let Aisling drag her away. They danced and laughed for quite a long time. She enjoyed letting go without worrying about how she should act or if her mother would bitch at her the next day. It was liberating, and she wanted more of it.

  Jax joined their little group and was his goofy self. They danced and laughed like they had done before. He innocently flirted with her. Jax was a player, but it was fun to just let go. Besides, she didn’t expect anything to come of his flirting since he didn’t really mean it and she didn’t really want it.

  She laughed and twirled around and bumped into a wall that hadn’t been there before. Except it wasn’t a wall. It was Danny.

  “Hey,” she smiled up at him.

  He pulled her closer to him.

  “You changed your mind?”

  He didn’t look very happy to be standing there. In fact, he wasn’t even looking at her. He was staring at Jax. Shit. Abby suddenly felt guilty for dancing with Jax. She hadn’t thought about it at all. She was just having fun.

  “Come on, dance with me. Please?” she begged.

  “I don’t dance.”

  She wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She called on her inner sexy goddess and tugged on his hand to stop him from sitting down. With her other hand she pulled on his belt to bring him closer to her and pressed her body tight against his. He gathered her in his arms, and she turned in his embrace so she could slide her ass up and down his growing erection.

  Abby twirled back around until they were face to face and was struck by his intense expression. He tightened his grip on her waist, and her breasts pressed against his chest. She stared into his smoldering brown eyes and licked her lips. God, she wanted him.

  “Baby, don’t start something we can’t explore,” he said, voice husky, before he leaned down and covered his mouth with hers. This kiss wasn’t like any of the ones they’d shared before. It was intense, and she could taste his need mixed with hers.

  When he finally broke their connection, Abby couldn’t catch her breath. She rested her head on his chest as she inhaled deeply and tried to pull herself together.

  “Damn. I’m going to go freshen up.” She looked up into his heated eyes. “And maybe splash some cold water on my face.”

  “I’ll be right here waiting.”

  Abby turned to leave. King stood nearby, ready to escort her. She looked back at Danny, and he was smiling. He was still being Mr. Bodyguard, but a damn cute one.

  “Ladies room, please.”

  She followed King out of the roped area before the other men joined them. They checked the bathroom before giving her the all-clear and waited outside while she took care of business.

  When she stepped out of the bathroom, she signaled to King that she wanted to stop at the bar. He and the others accompanied her.

  “Can I get an ice water, please?” she asked the handsome bartender.

  “Just a moment.” He took care of another order before getting her water.

  “Thanks.” She took the water and made her way back to Danny. A drunk guy stopped them along the way. He tried to reach her but only succeeded at knocking her glass of water from her hands. The glass shattered when it hit the floor, and water splashed in a wide arc, soaking her ankles.

  After that, everything happened in a blur. King moved toward the guy, but Danny appeared out of nowhere and pulled him from the area before King could reach him. The entire incident lasted no more than thirty seconds. She didn’t understand how Danny could have made it to them that fast, especially since there had been a pretty decent sized crowd between them.

  “This way.” King’s voice interrupted her confusion.

  She nodded and followed him back to the VIP area. Patiently, she waited for Danny to return while Freddie hovered at their table. She kept her eyes on the staircase and noticed him right away when he hit the second level. He didn’t come directly to her, instead went to King. Judging by his gestures and the hard expression on his face, Danny was not a happy man. Why? The guy hadn’t even touched her. He touched her glass; that was it.

  She never felt as is she was in danger. They had the situation under control and Danny was overreacting. When he broke away and started toward her, she turned away.

  “I got this.” She heard Danny’s cool voice dismiss Freddie. “Are you okay?” he asked her.

  “No.”

  “No? Are you hurt?” He sat down beside her and reached for her hand. She pulled it away.

  “I’m not hurt. I’m mad.”

  “Mad?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know that guy was out of line, Abby. I got to him as quick as I could.”

  Was he really that clueless? “I agree; he was out of line. But I'm not upset about that.”

  “What, then? Because from what I see I had every right to step in.”

  “Oh, then you’re my bodyguard tonight?”

  “Abby, I can't just shut this off. I explained this tonight. Keeping you safe isn't just a job to me.”

  She sighed, frustrated that she wasn’t getting through, and he didn’t seem to be open to hearing anything that meant he might be wrong.

  “I understand we will have a bit of a learning curve with,” she motioned back and forth with her hand, “whatever this is, but you have to at least try not
to step in every time. You need to decide. Are you my employee or are you my date? Because at the end of the day, I’m not taking my employee to bed. Now you have to decide what you want.”

  He deflated a bit. “I'm trying.”

  “Try a little harder. Please.” She paused. “I know we need to figure this out. I don't expect our transition from business to personal to be without some bumps. I'm not sure how you feel, and maybe it's too soon for me to lay it all out there, but finding this,” she rested her hand on his chest, “finding us has been the most amazing thing for me. I finally feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

  She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t so she continued.

  “You get all of this crazy I live in, and you accept it. You allow me to be me. You encourage me to be me. I couldn't have dreamt of a better man to be with. After we talked tonight, I understand you more and can appreciate how difficult it is to let someone else be in charge, but if you really want this to work, then you need to figure out how to do that. I know there will be times when you'll have to take the lead, but tonight is not one of them.”

  He remained silent.

  She let out a frustrated breath. “I need air. Let me out.” She waited for him to move. “Please.”

  He got up, and she scooted over on the seat.

  “King?” she called.

  He was next to her in an instant. She figured after he got his ass chewed out, she’d have to deal with him hovering, too. “Yes?”

  “I need air.”

  “You got it.”

  King walked Abby out onto the deck, and she waited while he took a look around.

  “All clear.”

  “Thanks. Do you mind if I have a minute to myself?”

  He blanched. “I don’t know. With what just happened.”

  “Just a little bit.”

  He relented. “I’ll have Freddie man the other entrance, and I’ll take this one.”

  “Thanks.”

  She headed to the end of the deck and let the misty sea air wash away her tension. Staring out into the dark night and hearing the waves break, she thought about what had happened. Did she miss something that only Danny saw? She had a limited view, but she didn’t really have any contact with the man. She couldn’t even remember what he looked like.