Defying Desire

by A. C. Arthur

  “What the hell happened?”

  “It’s the same person who broke into her apartment. Sam’s on her trail. I’ve gotta go,” he said then began to move away. Turning back, he said, “Take care of her.”

  Adam only nodded before moving around his car and getting in.

  If anything happened to Tia because of him and his job Trent would never forgive himself.

  It had been a long, grueling night. Through the shared tracking device, Sam had given Trent exact directions to where he was following Larice Summerfield. Trent arrived at the motel outside the city limits and Sam already had Larice cuffed and waiting.

  “Why would you come here?” Trent asked with barely masked fury. She sat with her back straight on the dingy bed looking at him as if he were the scum of the earth. “Why would you target Tia?”

  “What’s the matter, Mr. Donovan? Don’t like strangers butting into your business?”

  “You’re not a stranger, you’re a psychopath!” Trent roared.

  Sam stood. “I’ve called the police already. She’ll be taken to the station, then extradited back to Connecticut.”

  “I want her charged in Vegas, as well. Vandalism, breaking and entering, assault.” He read off the charges.

  “And what will that do? Your little girlfriend already knows I’ve been messing with her because of you. I doubt she’s going to want you back now.”

  Trent stared at her a moment, her eyes were cold as ice, her stance full of anger and vengeance. But there was something else, something he’d been seeing too frequently in women these days. Hurt.

  “You’re hoping Tia will kick me to the curb the same way Renny did you,” he stated simply.

  “If you hadn’t interfered we’d still be together!”

  Trent shook his head. Lorenzo Bennet was an erotic sculptor and heir to the Bennett Industries fortune. Although he was currently engaged to Sabrina Desdune, Sam’s twin sister, he at one time had dated Larice. Apparently she’d never let go of her feelings for him.

  “He’s in love with someone else, Larice. You have to accept that. Causing me or the woman I’m involved with pain won’t make Renny come back to you.”

  “But you should have minded your own business!” she roared, attempting to jump at him.

  Beside him Sam moved but Trent held out his hand to stop him. “I did my job. And as long as you continue to stalk and harass people I’ll always be there to take you down. There’s no two ways about it.”

  She sobbed then, gut-wrenching soul-shattering tears that seemed to last forever, or at least until the police came. Once again Trent watched her taken into custody. He wondered just how a person got to that desolate place where nothing or no one else mattered beside the one you loved.

  Tonight he’d planned to tell Tia he loved her and they’d been distracted. If Larice had been a more dangerous criminal she could have seriously hurt Tia. Catching her in the ladies’ room was the perfect opportunity to take her out. While he’d sat at the table drinking coffee and wondering how to accurately word his feelings for her, he could have lost her.

  That’s how Larice must have felt, Trent thought as he walked slowly through the foyer and up the steps of Adam’s house.

  If he’d lost Tia there would be nothing else for him, nothing else worthwhile.

  Pausing at the door to the guest room he said a silent prayer that this would work out the way he needed it to. He was about to knock but the door swung open and she stood on the other side.

  She’d changed into jeans and a T-shirt and moved to the side to let him in.

  “Are you okay?” she asked after she’d closed the door.

  Trent turned to stare at her. “I’m fine. But what about you?” She had a scratch that stretched from the bottom of her cheek to the center of her neck on the right side. It was red and angry and he wanted to do nothing more than kiss it away.

  “Just fine,” she quipped with a half smile. “I haven’t fought like that in years.”

  He chuckled nervously. “It’s like riding a bike, isn’t it?”

  Her smile widened. “Yes. It is.”

  The room grew silent.

  “So who is Larice? An old girlfriend?”

  How had he known she would think that first?

  “Larice Summerfield is a woman I arrested in Connecticut. She was stalking one of Sam’s clients and I was responsible for bringing her in.” Taking a deep breath Trent sat on the edge of the bed. “I guess she felt like I’d ruined her chances with Renny Bennett so she was going to ruin my chances with you.”

  “Did you know it was her all along?”

  “I got a message from Sam on Sunday that she’d gone missing. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was her but I had a feeling.”

  “And you didn’t tell me? You didn’t think it was necessary to warn me that in the line of duty you’d pissed somebody off and now they were gunning for me?”

  The way she’d said it told Trent he wasn’t going to like the way this conversation was going.

  “If there was something I could have warned you about, Tia, I would have. Believe me when I say I never wanted you hurt.”

  She sighed, then turned away from him. She couldn’t think when he was so close and when he glared at her like that it was even harder. For the hours he’d been gone she’d paced and thought and thought and paced. The answers weren’t clear because there were just too many questions. But from what she could squeeze out of Adam, this stalker of hers was connected to Trent and his job.

  She wondered if being with Trent could possibly lead to a repeat of the pain and suffering she’d gone through with Jake. Sure, death, at some point in time, knocked on everybody’s door. But with Trent, working covert operations with terrorists in foreign countries or working cases with domestic criminals could cost him his life. In which case she’d be left alone. Again.

  It was a terribly selfish thought, one she’d been fighting with for the last two hours, but still Tia couldn’t shake it.

  He touched her shoulders and she instinctively pulled away. “Is it always like this?” she asked from across the room.

  “Like what?”

  “The waiting and the worrying.”

  Trent sighed as if this on top of everything else was finally taking its toll. “It is what it is, Tia.”

  “And it’s your job,” she said turning to face him.

  Slipping his hands into his pockets Trent eyed her closely. “My job is dangerous, yes. Could someone try to come after you again because of me?” He paused then nodded. “Yes. I’m not going to lie to you about the danger.”

  “I can at least thank you for that,” she snapped, then dropped down into a chair near the window.

  Trent moved to her, going down on his knee in front of her and taking her hands. “But what I can tell you is that I’ve never been as afraid as I was tonight. I’ve never feared anything when I’m working. Nothing,” he emphasized the word by giving her a slight shake.

  “And I was afraid…of losing you.”

  Tia froze all the questions and doubts that had been filtering through her mind. “But we’re just lovers,” she whispered.

  “You don’t believe that any more than I do,” he told her.

  “Adam said he admired me because I’ve always known what I want and I’ve always gone after it. Well, this time I didn’t know. I thought I wanted to sleep with you, once, maybe twice. I thought that would be enough.”

  Her heart had begun to beat faster, her mind reeling with his words.

  “But it wasn’t. I told you I didn’t want love and marriage and a family of my own. But, I do, Tia. I want all that and then some. And I want it with you.”

  She was shaking her head. Part of her leaping for joy over his words and another part feeling the impending doom. “What are you saying, Trent?”

  “I’m saying that I love you, baby. I’ve never loved another woman in my life but I know without a doubt that I love you. And while my job is very dangerous I
know we can make this work.”

  She closed her eyes, sighed and opened them again. “I thought about this all day. How I would tell you this. I rehearsed the words over and over but now with everything that’s happened I don’t know where to begin.”

  “Just say what you feel,” he directed.

  She nodded, and took his advice. “I love you, too, Trent.” He smiled and for a second she almost faltered. But there was one thing Tia was perfectly clear on was that love was not enough to spare the pain.

  “But,” she said and watched his smile falter. “It’s not enough.”

  “What? Not enough?”

  “Devlin called while you were out. He left a message that you were needed ASAP…in Dubai,” she said matter-of-factly.

  He was going to kick Devlin’s ass! Never in all the time they’d worked together had he left a message with anyone about their assignments. Why now and why leave it with Tia?

  “That has nothing to do with us,” he started.

  “Doesn’t it? You’ve just been out tonight chasing down a stalker and Lord knows what else. Now, first thing tomorrow morning you’re most likely going to board a plane heading into a foreign country where you have no idea what could be waiting for you. How do you expect me to deal with that?”

  He didn’t know. Ironically, though, he’d thought of this very scenario for years.

  “We can make this work, Tia. I know we can.”

  She shook her head. “No. We can’t. I won’t.” Standing, she moved away from him to avoid both his touch and his gaze. “I’m finally about to get myself together. Coming to terms with losing Jake and Jessica and with myself. It would be foolish of me to walk right into another situation that could cost me so much.”

  “You’re not being fair. You can’t predict the future any more than I can. Hell, you could get killed and then I’d be left alone. But that’s no reason to live your life in a precautionary mode all the time. Come on, Tia. This is ridiculous!”

  “What’s ridiculous is that you can’t see my side of this.”

  “And what side is that? Run scared and stay safe? No, I don’t see the logic in that. I’m not a runner, I’m a fighter. And I thought you were, too.”

  “Then you don’t know me well at all. I won’t go through this all over again. And, no, I can’t predict the future but I know that your job is dangerous, your life is dangerous. That will always be cause for me to worry. I can’t live like that.”

  “Don’t you mean you won’t live like that?” He was walking toward her now. “You won’t give us a chance because you’re too afraid of being hurt. I’d say that was a typical female stance but I know how you hate to be stereotyped.”

  “You’re an insensitive jerk,” she said softly, wounded.

  “No. I’m a fool for thinking that this one time I’d met a woman who was different. But you’re not, are you, Tia? You want everything from a man without sacrificing anything of yourself. Women always say it’s the other way around but, you know, I don’t believe it is. I’m pouring my heart out to you and you don’t give a damn!”

  “I didn’t ask you to pour your heart out,” she said and knew that sounded trite. Why couldn’t he understand she was afraid? For him. For her. For what they could build only to lose.

  “No. You only asked to be lovers. Well, we’ve done that so what now?”

  They stood as if in a standoff, neither one of them sure of what to say next.

  “Now you do what you do best. You do your job,” she said solemnly, then turned, leaving him to stand alone in her room.

  Chapter 16

  Three weeks later

  She was sick. She had the flu or a stomach virus or something.

  Tia brushed her teeth, gargled with mouthwash, then padded back to her brand-new four-poster bed.

  She’d stayed with Adam and Camille for two weeks before finding a terrific house just off the coast of Los Angeles. She’d left Vegas and all its terrible memories behind.

  L.A. was only a few hours away so it didn’t feel like that big of a move. But after all she’d been through, it was just the change she’d needed.

  Camille wasn’t terribly pleased but recognized Tia’s need to get away. Jeanne had referred her to another therapist and she was keeping regular weekly appointments.

  Except this week. Because of her sickness, she’d cancelled two appointments with the therapist and one early morning photo shoot for a Victoria’s Secret lingerie ad. Her agent had reworked that one so that later this afternoon she was expected in the studio. And come hell or high water she was determined to be there.

  Climbing into bed with her cup of now tepid tea, Tia pulled the covers up to her neck and burrowed deep under the covers. Her head hurt and she felt as if she were floating, no, falling down an endless flight of stairs. Her stomach still churned and she wondered if it might not be smarter to simply make her bed on the bathroom floor.

  The last week had been a repeat of this, not really getting worse but definitely not getting better. Tomorrow would be day seven and if she was still feeling ill she’d resigned herself to finally calling the doctor.

  Just when she’d begun to doze off her doorbell rang. Tia moaned, then decided if she kept quiet whoever was at the door would go away.

  Bzzzzzzzz.

  Wrong. Persistence was definitely not a virtue.

  Climbing out of the bed, she found her robe and slippers and made her way out of the room and down the stairs to the front door.

  Never would she have expected to see the smiling person on the other side.

  “Noelle? What are you doing here?”

  “And good morning, nice to see you, too,” Noelle Vincent said, stepping into the house uninvited. “Long story short, Camille’s worried and so is Ms. Beverly. I’m here scoping out new venues for Linc’s expansion so I told them I’d stop by to make sure you’re okay.”

  Noelle paused just as Tia closed the door. She was wearing big-framed dark sunglasses with a white jeweled rim that she pulled off slowly. Eyeing Tia up and down, she began to shake her head. “Oh, no, no, no.”

  “What?” Tia looked at herself. Her robe was satin, peach, a really good color for her. Her slippers, furry and white, her hair was pulled back courtesy of her latest bout in the bathroom retching up any and everything in her stomach. So what was Noelle staring at?

  “You are tore up from the floor up.”

  Tia frowned. “I am not.” Then self-conscious, she wrapped her arms around her waist. “And it’s too early in the morning for anybody to look as pretty and pert as you do.”

  She walked away toward the living room, knowing that Noelle would follow her.

  “No, dear, it is never too early to look good. You know that, you’re the model.”

  “Models do not work 24/7.”

  “Looking at you I’d say they’re on hiatus.”

  “Ha. Ha. Very funny,” Tia quipped, then fell onto the couch, pulling her legs up behind her and lying down. “Welcome to my home, have a seat,” she told Noelle, who stood looking down at her disapprovingly.

  Noelle knelt and put her hand on Tia’s forehead. “No fever,” she said.

  “Thank you, Florence Nightingale.”

  “Smart-ass mouth.” Noelle continued to assess Tia. She sniffed. “Have you been throwing up?”

  “What?” Tia sniffed. She’d washed her face, hands and brushed her teeth after her bathroom tryst.

  “You look like hell but you smell like a bottle of mouthwash. Either you have a hangover or you’ve been puking.”

  Tia sighed, closing her eyes and trying to steady the queasiness building in her stomach again. “Tell me again why you’re here, Noelle. To be nosy, right?”

  Noelle laughed. “Nope, not nosy, just considerate. Now, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong with you the phone call I make back to Camille will definitely ensure some level of nosiness on her part as she’s going to hop on a plane and come see you for herself.”

  “Damn.” Tia
took another steadying breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Is that good enough for you? I’ve been sick for a couple of days. Vomiting, headaches, nausea.”

  Noelle had removed her jacket and was perched on the other end of the couch looking at Tia while she talked. Lifting slightly when she didn’t hear a response, Tia glanced at Noelle. “What?”

  Noelle smiled. “You don’t have a clue, do you?”

  “A clue about what?” Tia groaned and sat up, prepared to haul ass to the bathroom with the next painful wave in her stomach.

  “You’re pregnant, that’s what.”

  Tia’s head snapped in Noelle’s direction. “I am not!” she said adamantly, then felt that wave and jumped up from the chair. There was a powder room on the lower level and Tia just made it in time to avoid an embarrassing mess.

  She was leaning over the sink rinsing her mouth out when she heard Noelle’s approach.

  “You were saying?” she said with a knowing grin.

  “I was saying that if I am pregnant you’ll be the number one babysitter on my list.”

  The fear that Noelle might be absolutely right sank in and Tia felt like she’d finally hit the bottom of those stairs she’d been floating over these last few days. Hitting the floor with a resounding thud, she fainted.

  “How are you, baby?” Beverly Donovan spoke into the phone while sitting on the deck looking at the early morning sunrise.

  “I’m good, Mom. How are you and dad?” Trent asked, his voice a little scratchy.

  Since when did her son start lying to her? “We’re well.”

  “That’s good. I just wanted to call and check up on you guys. How’s Jade and the twins?”

  “Torian and Tamala are beautiful. Linc is in heaven, you know.”

  “Yeah, I talked to him the day before yesterday.”

  And he talked to Adam almost every day. Never, and she believed the word, never had Trent called home this many times while being on an assignment. Something was definitely wrong and she knew what it was.