Electric Sunshine (Brooklyn Boys Book 1)

by E. Davies

  Here we were a few minutes into a date, and somehow already discussing our future again. But I found myself not wanting to let go of his hand. Fuck, I wanted to just wander like this, hand in hand, all through New York City. Not just to show off the hot man on my arm, but because…

  When I stepped around a kid on a bike, so did he—in the same direction. When I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back. He wasn’t distracted by his phone, or by counting down the minutes he’d paid for. He wasn’t trying to string me along by choosing what he responded to and what he didn’t.

  He was just genuine, and there for me in every conversation we had, even this early. That was so damn rare I wasn’t sure he knew how rare it was. A guy like him, off the market for so long, probably didn’t.

  “I sometimes feel like I’m just… generating chemistry with you,” I murmured with a frown and looked down. While we were being honest, now was the chance to say it. “Like I’ve done it so much that it’s all I can do. I like you a lot, but I don’t trust myself.”

  Charlie squeezed my hand gently and walked for a minute, seemingly thinking about that before he came up with an answer. “That makes sense. Do you think you’re more used to letting people come and go in your life?”

  Though he spoke carefully, I could hear the fear there. It was obvious to anyone who was paying attention. Will you just let me go? “No,” I said, and I tugged him over to an empty bench so we could sit and talk. “I was thinking more about our last, um… about what we said about us. I still feel like my life is too crazy to commit to anything. But it doesn’t mean I’m not into you.” My cheeks burned, and even that was unfamiliar. I was used to being totally confident as I negotiated, or even spelled out kinks I would or wouldn’t do.

  I wasn’t used to holding my breath to see how the other guy would answer, but Charlie wasn’t just any other guy.

  “What are you looking for? Eventually, if not now?” Charlie asked.

  “I’ve always wanted a boyfriend.” I smiled as I looked away. It was all too easy to remember the childhood daydreams, and the journals where I’d written I wonder when I’ll get a girlfriend in case my parents found the journals, but I knew damn well that I’d meant boyfriend. Ever since I was little, I’d known. And I’d known that I wouldn’t get that as long as I stayed in Tennessee.

  Out here, dreams became real.

  “I just don’t know how all of it works,” I told him. “Like you feel about dating after time away… I’m used to dating with, you know, clear guidelines. I don’t have many examples of a functional relationship. And… when you find a great guy who seems to be what you’re looking for, but so early on?” I bit my lip, not sure how to express this without leading him on. “I thought it’d take longer.”

  Charlie nodded. “You want to play the field. I’m past that stage, but I went through it, too.” He tossed his empty cup in the trash and I followed suit.

  “No,” I frowned. Was that true, though? I’d always envisioned myself going out and dancing with lots of pretty boys, and not choosing one to settle down with. “Don’t you? I mean, just me? How can that be enough?”

  But I wanted that, too. I’d had more than enough time dating men, even if it wasn’t quite the same thing. I knew how hard it was to find a gem like Charlie, and I knew I didn’t want someone else instead. It wasn’t like there was a single perfect guy out there who could be my entire life. Everyone needed friends and work or hobbies or volunteering just to get out. No one guy could meet my every need and fulfill me forever and ever, amen.

  Right?

  “I know my heart,” Charlie told me, and his smile was confident. “Sure, it might not work out. But if you stop yourself from committing to anyone because you’re not quite sure, you’ll never commit at all. You’re not supposed to be certain all the time. You just have to want to make it work.”

  I took his hand and squeezed, warmth tightening my chest. “Very mature. Not what I’m used to,” I admitted and grinned. “My roommate… well, bless his heart.”

  “Ouch,” Charlie laughed, correctly interpreting the expression. “You planning to get out of there soon?”

  “No. Nah, he’s okay, for all I complain,” I admitted. “The place is crappy, but we can afford it.”

  “Will I get to see it?” Charlie winked. “Especially if I’m just a friend.”

  I burst out laughing. Cheeky bastard. “Fuck off,” I told him, elbowing him, and he joined in the laugh. “Don’t use my logic against me.”

  “All’s fair,” Charlie murmured.

  In love and war? What about both at once? I met his eyes and, though they glinted with humor, it was easy to tell he was serious, too.

  We let the conversation move on from there so we could talk about our weeks, what the hell the street magicians were up to and why the tourists got sucked in by them every time, and which parks were our favorites. Since it was already after lunchtime, rather than one meal, we made do with snacks from the hot dog carts and coffee shops. Restaurants here by the river were way overpriced, anyway.

  There was no getting away from the fact that this was a date, though.

  Pier 3 was as quiet as usual, thanks to its lack of playground space. The rougher spot around the book cart was my favorite place, because there were boulders and trees and little private nooks. Like I’d said, not private enough for anything serious, but at least we could cuddle.

  I settled on a patch of grass and beckoned him to join me.

  Charlie didn’t hesitate to sit cross-legged beside me, but he soon relaxed and joined me in lying on my back. “This is a nice little spot.”

  “I come here alone sometimes to daydream,” I told him. “Or walk along the waterfront and remind myself that I’m really here.”

  “I bet,” he chuckled quietly. “New York City has always been such a big part of my life that I forget what it must be like to move to. Huge and overwhelming.”

  “It’s big,” I agreed. “I dunno about overwhelming. Once I figured out how to take the subway and how not to get mugged… I haven’t found it bad. But it is lonely sometimes.”

  Charlie rolled his head to look at me, and I met his gaze.

  On some unspoken signal, we leaned in to kiss. It was like we couldn’t resist the attraction that had been pulling us together all day, and damn it, I didn’t want to resist any longer.

  His lips were soft and warm, and the way his hand rested on my shoulder reminded me of being pinned to the bed and fucked, but also of being cuddled all night.

  I instinctively snuggled closer to him as I kissed him back, forgetting our surroundings and my worries. Nothing else mattered when I was here with Charlie, alone together. The traffic was quietest here, and it was easy to forget that anyone else was even nearby.

  At least, until my pants started to feel tight. Fuck, it was hard to keep myself in check around him. Just one kiss reminded me of all the deliciously dirty things I wanted to do to him.

  “You know,” Charlie murmured, his voice low and rough, “we could head back to my place. Whether or not we do anything—”

  “Yeah.” I didn’t even let him finish the sentence. I wanted to be alone with him. As nice as it was to kill a few hours exploring together, we had so much more exploration to do that wasn’t public-friendly. Kind of like the honeymoon phase.

  “I’ve been wanting to blow you for days,” Charlie murmured. “It’s kind of addictive.”

  Okay, with that incentive, we were up and off to the train in moments, making small talk to try to cool off until we got back to Charlie’s home.

  “Hey, are you on Facebook?” I asked as we strolled for the train platform.

  “Hm? Yeah, I guess.”

  I took a deep breath. I hadn’t done this with any client before, or even any friends I’d made since moving here. And I’d cleaned out my profile years ago to cut out anyone who might spy on me and report back to my parents. I didn’t let work and play mix. But this was far from work now. “You wanna add me?”


  “Oh, I don’t go on there much.” He swiped his card and headed through the barrier, leaving me standing there for a few moments.

  Okay, fine. I guess not. I swiped my card, too, and headed through the turnstile. Just because Charlie didn’t want to add me didn’t mean anything. He didn’t have secrets, did he? I could still enjoy a perfectly good day with him without worrying about what this meant, right?

  Blowjobs, I reminded myself. Much bigger priorities right now. I sent Adam a quick watermelon text. He’d be happy to hear that. At least he could get some on his own date, and everyone would be happy. He’d be less grumpy tomorrow.

  “Train!”

  I hastily jogged after Charlie to make this train, putting it in the “deal with later” box that was getting pretty damn crammed full.

  19

  Charlie

  Thank God one part of my life was going right, because I was starting to feel like they wouldn’t all be in balance at once.

  Monday was much less fun than the weekend, which was an opinion I hadn’t held in years. Worse yet, because I wasn’t spending every spare minute in the office, I had to work a lot harder when I was in. Not necessarily long hours, but absolute focus. I couldn’t afford distractions like chatting about my coworker’s new kittens.

  Was that how I’d kept up with networking and my job—by working essentially double-time? No wonder I’d shot to the top of the employee list here. And now I was paying for it dearly.

  “I’ll leave you two to chat about it,” Valerie said with a pointed look at me. She closed the office door on her way out. We were alone in the office now, having had to wait until late at night before our meeting partner was available—and he was up early, at six AM or something stupid.

  I knew what that look she’d shot me said. Close the deal tonight. And since our Dubai-based potential client didn’t seem interested in working with anyone else, I had to either figure out a way to get them interested in someone else here or get over myself and find a way to work with them.

  Fuck.

  “Great to meet you, Charlie.” To give him credit, Alex did seem like a solid guy. He came across as immediately likable, unlike many a snobby developer I’d met. “I’m excited to work with you, or so I hope.” He offered a smile. “Which brings us to this meeting, I guess.”

  “Nice to meet you at last, too,” I agreed, waving slightly and settling back in my chair. The laptop sat in the middle of the polished wood surface, which was bare of any other distractions except a notepad. I grabbed it and balanced it on my lap in case I wanted to keep talking points close at hand. “You wanted to talk about the, um, resort tower.”

  It was a pretty typical project for the area, with all the challenges of trying to find water in the desert, but the potential reward of boosting my name and the firm’s in another developing market.

  There were also challenges that most people around me didn’t even seem to want to talk about, if they knew about them. Like, even if only in theory, the death penalty for my enjoyable Saturday night.

  “Yes. We love your portfolio. The whole firm’s, but your vision just fits with what we want. That use of space and the eye for natural environments, the vision for modern, sophisticated, yet green-looking buildings. You take sustainability beyond earthships,” Alex enthused.

  I knew I was good at what I did, but it was hard not to let the flattery get to me. “Yeah? Thanks.”

  “You love a good challenge.”

  A bold statement, but clearly Alex had been doing his homework. For all I complained about other people not knowing they were asking the impossible, I relished the chance to make it come true. “Yes. I’ve never built in a desert, though. We have other guys here who—”

  “Oh, I know,” Alex said with a rueful smile. “Valerie’s been trying to sell me on them. But the end client only wants you.”

  Aha. Now we were getting somewhere. There was an end client, which explained why he seemed so reluctant to budge. “Are you being hired by an oil billionaire?”

  “Something like that,” he nodded. “He wants to maintain his privacy, but you’re pretty close.”

  Right. An ego project, then. If I was never going to get to meet him, that meant relaying suggestions through a third party—not always a bad thing, but added complications when time was of the essence.

  “Look, I have some big reservations, apart from labor conditions. I know it’s hard to guarantee everyone will be a legal immigrant treated fairly. Especially on this scale of project. Costs go through the roof, or principles get sacrificed.” I wanted to make it clear I knew damn well that modern-day slavery was common in the area. Construction and housekeeping were two of the biggest abusive industries, and if I took the job, I might unknowingly be contributing to one.

  Not like the West was much better in places. Some subcontractors liked to shortcut safety in the name of cost-cutting. But at least the guys on our sites didn’t have their passports taken away as soon as they got there.

  “Right.” Alex grimaced. “We’ve done our best to guarantee fair and safe working conditions, which is… a hell of a task in the desert.”

  “I respect that,” I told him, honestly. But there was no point in bullshitting around the real problem. “But I prefer to supervise on-site. If not for the whole project, I have to be there at a few critical phases.”

  “Right. Singapore and Seoul haven’t been a problem.”

  “And their laws are friendlier to people like me.” It was impossible to meet anyone’s eyes through the screen, but I did my best to look as close to the camera as I could while still watching his face. “Not that much better, in the case of Singapore, but I’m at least willing to risk it.”

  Plus, there were a hell of a lot of things I wasn’t going to get into—like if I’d been HIV-positive, I wouldn’t even be allowed into the country on a work visa. They did blood testing for all new arrivals, I knew that much, and they deported HIV-positive people. Which ought to have been a scandal, but then, they weren’t the only country to have done that in recent memory. I didn’t feel it was fair to the poz guys out there that I got to take advantage of opportunities that were closed to them.

  Alex hesitated, scanning my expression, and then folded his arms as he leaned back. “Yeah. I get your reservations. I thought the same before I moved here. But the scene for my friends is a lot safer than I thought it would be. They say there’s police raids, but worst-case scenario, foreigners get deported. And there’s a lot of underground clubs.”

  “I didn’t establish a life in New York City, of all places, to hide from police raids,” I said, shaking my head. Hadn’t he even heard of Stonewall? He had an American accent, so surely to God he had.

  “If we kept the visits as short as possible, would that be okay?” Alex pressed. I didn’t blame him—he had a client to satisfy. “And we could introduce you to locals who can give you a better idea of what to expect.”

  “I know what to expect,” I told him. “When I go to Singapore, I keep it to a week at most. I’m careful not to act too gay in public. I don’t want to make it harder for locals. They’re stuck afterward, explaining that it’s not just an imported idea from the West,” I told him.

  I hadn’t yet said no, though. We were both aware of it. It was a complicated negotiation, and it shouldn’t have been. Why was this even a conversation?

  “How about I refer you to some of the guys here who are already working in Dubai?”

  Alex shook his head. “Valerie gave me their portfolios already. I went through them with my client. They only want you.”

  Was I being stupid? If I wasn’t gonna get the deal closed by passing it on to another architect, it was down to me.

  It was one little project in one country. I had others on my plate—the local redevelopment, the Singapore project. I could add one more to my rotation, surely.

  “We can schedule most of the meetings through Skype and keep on-site visits to a minimum.”

  “
I need site visits,” I told him. “At least every couple months when there’s construction going on. Leaving projects in the hands of that team doesn’t go well.”

  Alex nodded. “That’s why your portfolio has such a strong vision. A lot of the people we were looking at have great concepts and the real-life execution is… well, missing something.”

  It was like Charlie-bait: a challenge.

  “I need time to think about it,” I told him. It wasn’t that I was afraid to say no. I was a New Yorker. I was used to saying no on every commute, let alone at my job. But there was more going on here and I genuinely had to figure out what I was willing to do.

  Alex lit up. “We can give you a week.”

  “I might be going to Singapore in a week or two.” I ran a hand through my hair, scribbling on my notepad with the other. Singapore raised its own set of problems. “Depends how that timeline unfolds this week.”

  -Tell K about S’pore.

  -Answer Alex by…

  My pen hovered over the page as I looked up at the screen. “When do you need an answer?”

  “How about next Sunday?”

  “That works.” I finished writing the note and stuffed it in my pocket. “I don’t want to lead you on, but…”

  “No,” Alex interrupted, waving a hand. “I really appreciate you thinking about it despite your apprehensions. It makes me feel bad I can’t guarantee more, but I can pass along all the experiences I’ve heard about and hopefully you’ll reach a decision that everyone’s comfortable with.”

  Hopefully, yeah. Unlikely, from the sounds of things. I smiled and put the notepad aside again. “Yeah.”

  “Let me know if you want to talk to anyone who has a more… inside perspective.”

  “Will do.” I was tired out, it was late, and I’d probably missed texts from Kev. What would he think of me agreeing to go to Dubai? I found myself genuinely wanting his opinion before I decided. He was smart—and careful, but bold. And he wasn’t afraid of saying what he really thought. Exactly the kind of opinion I wanted.