Calmly, Carefully, Completely

by Falkner, Tammy

  I put my hands up to block him, but dammit, he’s having so much fun with it that I don’t want to stop him. Instead, I let him squirt until the gun’s empty. Then I blow water from my lips and open my eyes. She’s grinning like hell, and Gonzo’s almost as happy as she is.

  “You so deserved that,” she says.

  I stand up and point to her. “I’m coming for you, Reagan,” I warn. She squeals and backs away. She looks a little panicky, but then I realize she’s having fun and she’s panicking because I’m going to dunk her rather than because I’m going to touch her.

  This shit is like foreplay. The really good kind. I go in the shallow end and stalk her all the way to the rope that sections off the middle of the pool. I want to touch her so badly I can taste it. “Come here, little girl,” I taunt. “Let me show you what happens when you mess with a real man.”

  She laughs and ducks under the rope. She comes up smiling, though. I go under and reach for her, and she almost slides right by me, but I grab her at the last second. I slowly and gently pull her against me. We’re so close together that I can feel her heart beating against my chest. She stares into my eyes, and then her gaze drops to my lips and moves back up. “Pete,” she warns. She kicks her feet to stay afloat.

  “Reagan,” I mock.

  “It wasn’t my fault,” she says, but she’s a little breathless. “It was Gonzo. He planned the whole thing.”

  “Liar,” I whisper. Her face flushes. I tread water with one hand and hold her against me with the other. This feels so good that I don’t want to let go.

  “Reagan,” her father barks.

  She looks up at him, as if she’s being dragged from a trance. I let her go, but she doesn’t move away from me. Her arm touches mine. “I want to kiss you,” I say impulsively, right beside her ear. She shivers lightly.

  “You better do it soon,” she warns. “Or I’m going to have to replace you with someone more willing.” She kicks off from me and goes to the side of the pool, where she pulls herself up and climbs back into her chair. She crosses her long, tan legs, and her foot waves in the air as she fidgets. Then she looks at me and says loudly. “It better be epic, Pete. That’s all I’m saying.” She points to a place beside me. “And throw me my hat.”

  I pick up her wet hat and set it on the side of the pool. I dive down and get her funky glasses and lay those beside her. I’m glad I have something to do because I don’t trust myself to get out of the pool just yet.

  Our first kiss will be the kiss that ends all first kisses for me. I’m sure of it. I just hope she feels the same way.

  Reagan

  Dad’s mad at me, I can tell. He has been glaring at me all afternoon. Pete stares at me, too, but in a completely different way. He shed his shirt about two hours ago, and he walked over to me carrying a bottle of sunscreen Gonzo’s mom gave him. Dad intercepted him, though, and spun him around to rub sunscreen on his shoulders himself. Pete let him. It was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. When Dad finished, he slapped Pete’s naked shoulder really hard and pointed him back toward the group of hearing-impaired kids who had just arrived at the pool.

  Pete has organized water volleyball and water basketball, and I watch the boys play. My mouth goes dry as he slices out of the water to hit the ball, jumping high as he volleys it back to the other side of the net with his uninjured arm. His body is amazing, and I finally get to see all of his tattoos. I want to trace them with my fingertips and see how far they go beneath his swim trunks. His suit hangs low on his hips, and he has those ridges and a patch of hair leading down his belly that would make any bright girl become stupid. Like now. I can’t take my eyes of it. I want to follow the path like it’s the yellow brick road. My dad is the cowardly lion because I think he’s a lot more afraid of my feelings for Pete than I am. I…I am the wicked witch.

  Pete swims over to the side of the pool in front of me. “Come swim with me,” he says, splashing water toward my legs.

  “I’m on duty,” I say, and I blow my whistle at one of the boys.

  He jerks a thumb over his shoulder toward the group and says, “They’re deaf, you know?” He laughs. “Your whistle is pretty ineffectual.”

  “Then let’s hope they can all swim.”

  “They’re confined to the shallow end.” He grins at me.

  I look at the boys. They’re watching Pete from where they’re still hitting the ball back and forth. “They like you,” I say. Of course they do. Everyone likes Pete. Even my dad likes him, though I’m not sure he likes the burgeoning relationship between us.

  “They like you more,” he says. “I told them I was going to come and put the moves on the pretty lifeguard.”

  A grin tugs at my lips. He thinks I’m pretty. “You did not.”

  “Oh, yes, I did.” He smiles, and my heart trips over. “Prepare to be moved, pretty lifeguard.” He hoists himself out of the pool, careful of his injured wrist as he goes up the ladder, and stalks toward me, water sluicing from his body. When he gets close to me, he stops and lays his crossed arms over my lap, and looks up at me. “You don’t mind me touching you, do you?” he asks.

  My heart’s beating so fast I can’t take a deep breath, but it’s not because I’m afraid of him. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. “Apparently, my inner goddess is a slut. Yeah, I read Fifty Orgasms.”

  He lays his forehead on his folded arms and laughs into the space, his shoulders shaking. I thump him on the top of his closely shaved head.

  He covers his head with his hand and looks up, scowling at me. “What was that for?”

  “You laughed at me.”

  He snorts. “You were talking about Fifty Orgasms. Of course I laughed.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Do you even know what book I’m talking about?”

  “Anastasia and what’s his name,” he says with a breezy wave. “I read it.”

  My mouth falls open.

  “The last one was the best.” He grins. “His surrender was kind of sweet.”

  “He didn’t surrender.”

  “What do you call it then?” He laughs. “He totally changed for her. And he loved every second of it.”

  I lay back heavily against the chair I’m in and glare at him. “You skipped around and just read the good parts, didn’t you?”

  He looks offended. “Just because I’m pretty doesn’t mean I’m not smart.” He chuckles. He lifts my hand with his so he can thread his fingers though my mine.

  Pete jumps when my dad slams through the pool gate. Dad glares at him, but he doesn’t move his hand from mine.

  “Reagan,” Dad barks.

  I blow out a quick breath and say very nicely, “Yes, Dad.”

  “Chase Gerald’s father just called.” He looks at where my hand is tangled with Pete’s, and if death rays that shoot from the eyes existed, then Pete would be a puddle of ashes on the ground.

  “Is that the guy from the drugstore?” Pete whispers.

  I nod, slicing my eyes toward Pete for a second. “What did he want?” I can already guess, and my heart sinks at the very thought of it.

  “He said Chase came home talking about you being at the drugstore with some thug.” He glares at Pete, and Pete stiffens, his hand tightening on mine.

  “Did you explain who Pete is?” I ask. I don’t want to leave anyone with a misconception about Pete.

  “I told him that he’s someone my daughter is crushing on, but that I wasn’t worried about it because she’s a smart girl with her head on straight.” His voice rises on the last words, and his glare at Pete grows even fiercer.

  “I’m not crushing,” I protest. But I so am.

  Dad faces me. “Then what would you call it?”

  I don’t know what to call it because I don’t know what it is. I shrug. Pete stiffens more when I do that than he has since Dad came through the gate.

  “Chase wanted to know if you might want to go to the party at the country club tomorrow.”

  �
��I already told him no,” I say. But I can already see the look on my dad’s face. That’s not going to work.

  “I told him you’d love to.” He opens the gate and stops, looking at me from over his shoulder. “He’s picking you up at six.”

  I growl under my breath. Mainly because there’s not much more I can do since Dad is gone. The gate slams shut behind him. I pull my hand from Pete’s.

  “Where are you going?” Pete asks.

  “To catch my dad so I can tell him I’m not going.”

  “Do you want to go?” he asks. He watches me closely, his blue eyes blinking slowly.

  “If I wanted to go, I wouldn’t have told him no.” I heave a sigh.

  He steps back from me and takes all the warmth I was basking in a minute ago with him. “I think you should go,” he says quietly.

  “Why?” I ask softly. Something is really, really wrong. He doesn’t usually distance himself like this.

  “Your dad wants you to go,” he says with a shrug. “You don’t want to piss him off.”

  He starts to walk down the length of the pool. He signs to the boys, and they all start to put away the balls and the floats and they line up by the door.

  “I’ll see you later,” he calls quietly. Then he leads the boys from the pool area back toward their cabins.

  What did I do wrong? I seriously have no idea.

  I see Dad going through the back door of the house, and I run to follow him. I don’t know why he just did that, but what he said made Pete mad at me, so he needs to go apologize.

  “Dad!” I call to his retreating back. He doesn’t turn around to talk to me. He keeps going.

  He’s ignoring me now? What the hell?

  I follow him into the kitchen and see him glaring at my mother, who looks a little bemused. “How could you do that?” I ask. My heart is thumping like crazy, and I can barely catch my breath.

  “What did you do?” my mother asks.

  Dad shrugs and washes his hands at the sink. He ignores me completely. Mom raises her brow at me in question.

  “He called Pete a thug, and then he told me I have to go on a date with Chase just because his father called and snapped his fingers.” I snap mine for good measure.

  Mom’s inquisitive grin turns into a scowl. “What?” she asks. She grabs my father’s shoulder and turns him to face her. “You of all people called Pete a thug?”

  “To his face!” I shout. “Then Pete left. And I don’t even know what he’s thinking.”

  “I know what he’s thinking,” Dad murmurs. Mom frowns.

  “He’s thinking you don’t like him!”

  Dad makes a noncommittal hum. That’s it? A hum?

  Mom’s face softens. She can read Dad like a book. I just wish I could.

  “What?” I ask. I look back and forth between them.

  “Your dad is afraid Pete’s trying to get in your pants,” Mom says. She lifts her brow at Dad. Dad just glares at her. He won’t even look at me.

  I throw up my hands. “That’s just it!” I cry. “He’s not trying to get in my pants. He won’t even kiss me!”

  “Oh,” Mom breathes.

  Dad murmurs something, and Mom rubs his shoulder, her eyes soft as she looks at him.

  “What?” I ask again.

  “Your dad’s afraid you’ll get your heart broken,” she says quietly. She looks sympathetically toward my dad.

  I take a deep breath and steel myself. “Most girls get to have their hearts broken when they’re eighteen or so. Maybe sixteen or whenever they find their first boyfriend.” I jab a finger toward my chest. “I’ve never even had a boyfriend, Dad,” I say. My eyes fill with tears, but I blink them back. How messed up is this? “I like Pete, and he’s someone you can like, too. So, what’s the problem? We haven’t even been on a date!”

  “I saw him watching you at the pool.” Dad heaves a sigh. “He looks at you like I look at your mother.” He tips her chin up so that her eyes meet his. “I saw her and I knew she was completely out of my league, but I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything.” He looks at me. “And that’s how Pete looks at you. That’s what scares me, Reagan. Not that he’s a thug or that he’s poor or that he’s been in prison. He looks at you like he never wants to stop looking at you. I’d probably like him more if he was just trying to get in your pants, because that’s something you can get over. But a man loving you, that’s completely different. You’re not ready for it.” He shrugs his shoulders. “You’re just not.”

  He may as well have stuck a knife in my chest. “How do you know what I’m ready for?” I ask.

  “I saw what that asshole did to you, Reagan,” he says. He slams his fist down on the kitchen counter, making the dishes jump. And me, too. “I saw you walking around here, jumping at shadows, wrapping yourself in a protective bubble so no one else could hurt you. You learned how to protect your body, but no one ever taught you to protect your heart.” He pounds his fist against his chest. “You’re unprepared for what Pete wants. Completely unprepared.”

  “What do you want me to do?” I ask. I can barely hear myself, but Dad hears me.

  “Stop it before it’s too late,” he spits out. “Just stop it.”

  “Okay,” I breathe. “You win.” I turn and walk out of the room.

  I just met him two days ago. Why do I even feel like my soul already knows him intimately? I don’t understand it, either. Maybe Dad’s right.

  Pete

  I try not to look at her all through dinner. She sits with her brother and her mother, and her dad isn’t here. Her mother motions with her hand for me to come and join them, but I shake my head and focus on my meal.

  “Why aren’t you with Reagan?” Tic Tac asks as he sits down beside me.

  I shrug my shoulders. I don’t even have the right words to describe it. “What’s your name, man?” I ask.

  He smiles. “Edward.”

  “People call you Eddie?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Only one man ever called me Eddie, and I shot him when I caught him raping my little sister.” He avoids my gaze. “So I wouldn’t advise calling me that.” He grins. “Call me shithead or whatever else you want, but don’t call me Eddie.”

  “Was he your dad?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Just some man my mom married.” He looks off into the distance, as though he’s seeing something in his mind instead of what’s all around us. “I shot him,” he says. He makes that little pfffttt sound with his mouth like he did on the bus when he first spoke to me.

  Wow. I don’t even know how to respond to that. “How’s your sister doing?” I ask. I think about Reagan and how I found her. And I don’t even want to know about his sister.

  “She was only eleven,” he whispers. “Eleven fucking years old.”

  I shouldn’t have judged this kid when I met him. “I’m so sorry,” I say.

  “It pisses me off because he stole what she could have been, you know?”

  I nod, but no, I don’t know.

  “Does she live with your mom, now?” I ask.

  “No,” he replies. “She’s in the system. My mom got arrested, too. Drugs, I think, right after it happened.” He shrugs. “She’s better off with a nice family.” His eyes get bright. “They said I can visit her when I get out. It’s only for an hour a time and I can’t be alone with her, but that’s all right. I just need to be sure she’s okay.”

  I nod. “I don’t have any sisters.”

  “Your girl, Reagan,” he says. He smiles. “She looks like she can take care of herself.”

  “She can kick my ass.” It’s true.

  “You think she’d teach me some of those karate moves?” he asks.

  I grin. “You could ask her.”

  “I wish somebody had taught my sister how to do some of that stuff.” He gets that faraway look again.

  I’m not sure that would have changed her situation, but I nod anyway.

  Edward gets up to throw his plate away and turns ba
ck to me. “When I get out, do you think I could come hang out with you and your brothers? Phil was telling me how you live close to me.”

  I nod. “I don’t see why not.” I don’t know this kid, but I know he’s had a rough time of it, and it was no fault of his own. “We could shoot some hoops.”

  He grins. “Okay.” He goes to change into a swimsuit. The youth boys all get the night off. They’re going to use the pool and just play around and be boys for the rest of the evening.

  I concentrate on my dinner. Now that Edward’s not here, it’s easier to swallow. I don’t have any sisters, but I have a niece named Hayley, and I’m not the only Reed boy who would kill anyone who tried to hurt her. She’s five, and I haven’t seen her in a long time. Hell, she probably doesn’t even remember me. But I could walk out of here today and give my life for hers with no regrets.

  The dining area starts to clear out, and I realize I must have been lamenting over Edward’s situation a little too long. Mr. Caster sits down across from me and rests his elbows on the table. He blows out a breath. “My daughter’s no longer talking to me.”

  I don’t respond and shovel a spoonful of spaghetti into my mouth so I’ll have an excuse not to.

  “Apparently, she likes you a lot.”

  I take a bite of bread. I still don’t speak. The food is hard to swallow.

  “Her mom’s not speaking to me, either,” he says. He grins a sideways smile. “I kind of like having sex with my wife, so I figured I better come over and clear the air.”

  I choke on my spaghetti. I look up at him as I try to catch my breath, coughing into my closed fist.

  “Women have ways of getting what they want, Pete,” he says. “And my wife wants Reagan to make her own choices.” He inhales and exhales deeply. “I guess you’re her choice.” He jabs a finger at me. “But if you hurt her, so help you God, I will hunt you down and do things to you that can’t even imagine.”

  “Yes, sir,” I squeak out. I clear my throat. “I just met her,” I remind him.

  He shakes his head. “She’s known you in her head for two and a half years, son. You didn’t just meet her. You became her hero the night you took care of her. Now, how much of that is in her head and her head alone remains to be seen. But she feels a connection to you, and you’re the only one she’s ever let in. So, you’re in, with my blessing.”