A Human Element
Page 13
"It's a nice camera, but, I have to ask. You vacationed in Coopersville?" Laura raised her eyebrows.
Ben laughed and looked around the empty lake and woods. "I know. I still wonder about it myself. I came back to see if it was all the same. And it sure hasn't changed, except I don't guess anyone rents these cabins anymore."
"No," Laura said. "Not since the big meteorite hit the lake."
"I know."
"You know? How do you know? Were you here?" Laura gripped his sleeve and looked into his eyes for answers.
"I—I heard about it, I mean," Ben lied and looked away. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. Laura let go of his sleeve.
"Oh," she said in small voice. "I thought you might have seen what happened. But I guess you would have just been a kid."
"Yeah, just a kid back then." Ben changed the subject. "So are you visiting too, is that why you're here singing to the woods?"
"Sort of." She smiled, as if to herself.
"And how did you get the tree to dance along with your singing?"
"What do you mean?" Laura stopped smiling.
"The leaves. I saw them shaking in sync to your song. Some sort of magic?" Ben smiled, but her anxiety-stricken face filled him with regret. He stopped smiling and looked at her, waiting for an answer.
"Sorry, did I upset you?" He touched her hand.
"No…I don't know, but I have to go. I'm sorry." She waved to him as she turned and walked fast down the path.
"Wait…Laura, don't go." But she didn't turn around. Her hair swung behind her, glorious in the September sun. Leaves swirled around her. She was a nymph of the wood. He had scared her off, somehow.
He vowed to find her again.
CHAPTER 16
Laura and Jim sat rocking on his screened porch, contemplating what to do about this man she had just met.
"From what you say, dear, he sounds like a normal, young man who's come back to see where he grew up." Jim sneezed then and reached for a tissue. "Rekindling old memories, healing from some sad past, that sort of thing."
"Maybe. But he saw me use my powers. He must have been pretty observant to notice the leaves shaking about to my singing. Don't you think a 'normal' person would have just chalked it up to the wind, or not noticed at all? I mean, perhaps he noticed it because he has been watching me for a reason. He could be part of my past or maybe connected to the man in black. Plus, he had this fancy camera and was taking photos. Suspicious to me."
Jim sneezed again and spat out a hacking cough. Laura looked at him with concern.
"Laura, you could be a bit paranoid. He might just like photography as a hobby. But why don't you go back down to the lake or in town and try to find him. There's only one place in town where he could be renting a room."
"Good idea." She jumped up. "Instead of wondering about who he is I'll just go ask him."
"Fine, but just be nice about it."
"What do you mean? I'm always nice."
"I mean, be sweet on him. Don't interrogate him. The sweeter you are the more information you'll get. Use your charms. Men like that sort of thing. I do." Jim chuckled and then coughed again for a long while.
"Fine, I will." Laura bent down to rub Jim's back. "But now listen here, you can't go getting all sick on me. When I get back I'll make you some of my famous Fanny Armstrong homemade chicken soup. Why don't you go rest?"
"I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow. We want to leave early to go find Doctor Britton."
"And that one I do intend to interrogate." She gave him a kiss and danced out the door. "But we're going only if you are up for it!"
"Be careful, Laura." Jim could tell it was a relief for her to focus on something new with this mystery man. Something that was not part of her gruesome past. Or maybe it was.
She smiled and blew him a kiss as she got in her car. The sky grew dark. Storm clouds blew across the sky through the trees. Jim watched her drive away and his heart ached. He had the feeling something bad was coming. He stared at his gnarled hands and coughed again. He was dizzy and so tired. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to protect Laura when she needed it. And she would need it. Very soon.
Ben sat at the desk in his room and looked through the photos he had taken at the lake in his digital camera. He remembered every step taken. He hoped to find something in the photos. He had wanted to find some remnant of his parent's death. Some memento. Some answers. Some peace. But it was ridiculous. The government had cleaned up the crash site years ago. And everything under the meteorite had been crushed. Crushed.
He put his camera down and clenched his hands, thumping them on his thighs. He had to stop thinking about it. Sometimes he visualized how it must have been for them. Their bodies flattened, their brains and guts squeezed out. It would have been him too if he hadn't run away. He jumped up from the chair and stripped off his shirt. Although it was cool from the brisk breeze blowing in, he had a film of sweat across his chest and face.
"Stop thinking about it, Ben." He paced the room trying to alleviate his anxiety. "What the hell am I doing here?"
And then he remembered the woman, Laura. He picked up his camera again and clicked through several photos to stare at her. She looked so free with her eyes closed and her arms outstretched singing. Her wavy hair blew around her, floating like angel wings. What was he doing, looking for peace, or looking for love? Maybe they were one and the same.
He lay down on the bed, stretched his arms behind his head, and sighed. Lovely. That was the word that kept coming to his mind about her. So lovely. Thinking of her calmed him down and he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep when a knock at his door made him jump. He shook his head to wake up and stumbled to the door.
He opened the door and just stared. It was her. He squinted and then smiled. It looked like he wouldn't have to find her after all.
"I figured you'd be here, it's the only place in town to stay." He could tell she avoided looking at his naked chest. Ben just stared back at her, trying to form words in his murky head after being asleep. He took the moment to drink in the details of her face and hair, and her scent. Sunflowers. She smelled like sunflowers.
"I-I just wanted to come by and apologize for running off like I did," Laura stammered. "It was totally rude."
"No worries here. I thought it was something I said." Ben looked down at her.
"It wasn't you, it was me," she admitted. "I came by to see if you wanted to explore the lake and woods together. I know you're visiting after many years and so am I, so I thought we could do it together. Mrs. March sent me up to your room when I asked if you were staying here. She knows me."
"That Mrs. March, is she the town gossip?"
"How'd you guess?" Laura laughed. "Her husband died years ago and she fills her time with running this old place and snooping out news around town. Watch out, she also likes to flirt with single young men."
"I got a sense of that already, but I am positive I can resist her ample charms."
Ben grinned and folded his arms, still leaning on the doorway. He was awake now and couldn't think of a better way to be woken up from an afternoon nap.
"Sooo…" Laura said, raising her eyebrows.
"Sooo…of course I'd like to explore around here with you. How about first we go get some coffee? If there's anywhere in town."
"There's the Van Rensselaer Café just down the street. They have the best rugelach."
"Roo-ga-what?"
Laura laughed and flung her hair back. "Rugelach. Yummy Yiddish pastries."
"Sure thing. Let me get my shirt and coat on and I'll meet you downstairs, sound good?"
Laura nodded and he watched her walk down the stairs, her sweet figure encased in faded jeans. He couldn't help taking in her tempting round bottom that twitched to his delight down the steps. He was definitely drawn to her. He had to get to know her. Maybe it was fate that brought him here at the same time she was visiting.
They strolled down Main Street together, each sneaking glances at
one another. Laura was still leery of him, but he disarmed her quick. Maybe Mr. B was right. He was just a regular guy.
All she could do was stare into his gray eyes when he talked to her. She'd never met anyone with gray eyes before. It was like staring into a stormy sky, rolling with clouds and thunder. Waves of intense emotion rolled off him enveloping her in feelings of anger, sorrow, loneliness…and lust. She hoped the lust was for her. It was fire being near him. He smoldered underneath, with what she didn't know. She wondered if it would burn her if she got too close.
She tried to see his thoughts but they were complex and she couldn't understand the jumble of words and mixed aura surrounding him. She sensed he had darkness inside him. He had been close to true evil, yet light and hope lived there too.
As they walked, Ben gave her a snapshot of his life. He told her about his photography business then briefly spoke about being in the Navy and growing up in foster homes. Laura sensed more there, but didn't ask.
"How exciting it must be to travel the world and get paid for it."
"Yes, it has been," Ben agreed. "But I also don't have a home to go to when I come back. I am a nomad. Which I enjoyed for years, but now not so sure anymore. I guess I came here as well to figure it out."
"You mean, figure out your past so you can figure out your future?"
"Something like that." Ben smiled down at her as he held the door open to the café. They busied themselves with ordering coffee and rugelach. He insisted on paying. They found a table in front of a bay window overlooking the street and enjoyed the rich pastry and strong coffee.
"So, what about your parents?" Laura spoke first, after a comfortable silence.
"They died together when I was a kid. I'm an only child so there was no one to take me in."
"I'm sorry. Mine died together too." Laura blew on her coffee. "And I know about being an only child. I'm one too." She wanted to ask him how his parents died but she kept quiet. She felt a strange connection to him knowing that both sets of their parents died together.
"I'm sorry for you too." Ben tilted his head at her. "I know how hard it is to lose your parents, especially at the same time. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It must've been for you too."
"Yeah." She looked away.
"You're not going to run off on me again, are you?" He touched her hand.
"I swear, I won't. Not this time." His hand was so warm on hers. He pulled it away too soon. They sat in silence for a moment and watched the leaves fall outside their table by the window. An elderly lady locked up the tiny store across the street where a wooden shingle hung outside announcing, "Original Country Store built in 1795." Two young boys ran down the street in soccer uniforms, laughing at something. The shadows crept in as the sun began to sink lower in the sky over the trees.
"This is such a quaint, old town." Ben changed the subject and Laura was grateful. "I'm seeing it in a different light now as an adult. It was boring as a kid here on vacation. How did you stand growing up here?"
"Actually, I loved it."
Ben raised his eyebrows.
"I did, really. I loved roaming the woods and going to the lake. I loved growing vegetables and raising chickens and picking apples in our orchard…" Laura looked down. "But it was a long time ago."
"How long?"
"Eight years ago. When were you last here?"
"More than twenty-five years ago."
"That's a long time to be gone." Laura looked at him, full of questions. She was afraid in asking them he would expect answers from her in return. She didn't want to lie to him, but wasn't sure how to skip around her life with this man she just met. His thoughts still eluded her as if he was adept at hiding himself from people. Only now, the feelings coming off him had mellowed. He was relaxed and content, but hiding something. But whatever it was, it wasn't something to be afraid of.
"I know," Ben admitted. "I came back here searching for something. Aw, hell, I don't know why I came." He cupped his fingers around his cup and tapped his fingers. Such strong hands. She willed them to touch her again. "I was only nine when they died. How about you?"
"Eighteen."
Ben waited for more.
"It was a fire." Laura finally continued, feeling nervous under his gaze as he sipped his coffee. "Our house caught on fire and burned down. They died in it."
"How awful for you, for them. Where were you?"
"The lake. I was at the lake."
Ben put both his hands on hers this time. Laura focused on them. They were nice hands. Rough, yet shaped with beauty. They covered hers. She kept her gaze on them. She didn't want to cry. She never talked about the fire, and here she sat telling a practical stranger. Talking about it made it real, brought it all back.
And it was three tragedies ago. Before Moe, before Renee. Each time she forced herself to start over. She couldn't erase Renee's face covered in blood. Laura shook her head and closed her eyes, but it never became less vivid. Nor did Moe's ravaged neck or her parents' burnt bodies.
"And you're full of guilt about it, right?" Ben's question brought her back to the present and she raised her head to look at him.
"Of course I am. I could've stopped it." Laura looked away. She told herself she wouldn't cry.
"How could you have stopped it?"
Laura didn't answer. She pulled her hands out from under Ben's, sipped her coffee, and sighed. "It was a long time ago. And Mr. B helped me get through it. He's my good friend here. An older gentleman. A good soul. He persuaded me to still leave for college as planned. So I went and got my degree. Worked in corporate communications for a few years. I'm taking a break now, trying to figure out what I really want to do."
"And have you figured that out?"
"I used to want to be a reporter. I might try to do that again. I felt so out of touch working in corporate. I felt I wasn't making a difference, you know? I wasn't helping people, touching lives, exposing stories to change the world for the better a tiny piece at a time."
Ben laughed.
"I know, it sounds corny and naive," Laura said, laughing herself.
"No, that's not why I'm laughing. It just fits in with the kind of person I thought you might be."
"And what kind of person am I?"
"Someone with a soul, a passion. I knew it when I saw you singing away in the tree."
She shook her head with embarrassment. "Please, don't remind me. I feel like an idiot."
"Don't feel like an idiot. You don't have to explain yourself to me. It was a nice surprise. It made the day better."
"You weren't having a good day?"
"It's my first day here, so a bit unsettling going to the lake again where I used to stay with my parents. We rented out a cabin there each August before school started."
"Which cabin? I know them all in their falling apart stages. We could go together. I'd love to see it."
Ben shook his head. Laura sensed his trepidation and felt a great sadness roll off him. She wanted to take back her light chatter. Ben scared her though. She could tell he would envelope her in his intensity. She could lose herself in a person like him. She didn't know if she could survive that. She had survived many things, but never a broken heart.
"We can't."
"Why not?"
"It's not there anymore. It was crushed by the meteorite all those years ago."
"I'm sorry." Laura waited to hear more.
"They were crushed, too."
"Who?"
"My parents. They were in it when it happened."
"Oh my God," she whispered. Now she understood why he lied to her at the lake when she questioned him about the meteorite. This time she put her hands on his. He intertwined his fingers with hers. Their fingers fused together, bound with strong and delicate ropes. Laura felt a vibe from Ben, a humming warmth and peace that flowed through her. They drew strength from one another.
Their remaining coffee had grown cold. The houses across the street became dim. Lights glowed from th
eir windows and leaves tumbled along the street. People came in and out of the café, getting coffee after work or a dessert to bring home. The door swung open and shut with a bell ringing jolly each time, accompanied by welcoming words as neighbors greeted one another and wished each other a good evening.
Some waved at Laura, surprised to see her back in town again after such a long absence. Some glanced with curiosity at Ben and Laura in the corner by the window. Laura was glad none were Mrs. March. She would be spreading their impending marriage around town by tomorrow if she found them together.
"And you, where were you?" Laura pressed her fingers into Ben's.
"I got mad at my parents and ran away that night. They wanted me to play an instrument and be in the band, but I hated playing music. I didn't have the talent they did. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough for them. Silly, really. But when you're a kid everything is so dramatic. I hid in the woods at the other end of the lake. I wanted to scare them, that's all. To find me gone and be upset. Then when they found me they'd tell me whatever I wanted to do was fine with them. Only they never did find me. They died."
"And you didn't," Laura said. "And you felt guilty about it too, didn't you?"
"Yep, still do after all these years, but I know I couldn't have prevented their deaths."
"But somewhere inside you is a little boy who still feels if you hadn't run away none of it would have happened, right?"
Ben looked at her with surprise. "I guess, I never thought about it that way. Anyways, it's a lot longer ago for me than for you. It's time I got over it and moved on, you know?"
"Something like that is hard to get over and move on from." Laura tilted her head at him and felt self-conscious still holding his hands. She untangled them, but Ben pulled her back toward him. Something had brought them together. She felt it and he did too. She just wished she could understand it.
"Don't you think it's strange we met and both our parents died here, tragically, while we were at the lake?" Ben's gaze bore into hers. "Yet we survived."
"It's like our meeting was meant to be."
Ben nodded and released her. Panic rose in Laura. She had to leave. She was exhausted from the intense emotions pouring off him to her, on top of their conversation. She was afraid if they kept talking he would find out more about her. Things she didn't know if she could ever share with anyone else but Mr. B. And then there was the danger she could put him in. People she cared about died. Simple as that.