The Rebel's Own (Crimson Romance)

by Kenyan, M. O.

  “That would have defeated the purpose, don’t you think?” Kennedy stared at him for a while before she finally asked, “We have survived this long without you. You can’t come here and take over.”

  “I’m not trying to take over. You are a great mom,” he said in defeated tone. “I just want to be with my family.” Ryan paused, not sure what he wanted her answer to his next question to be. “Are you pregnant?”

  “No.” She shook her head then said, more softly, “I don’t know.”

  “Where were you going before we arrived?” Ryan had seen the look on her face when she opened the door, just before she had spotted him. He knew that look; she was running away.

  “I don’t know. But I- I couldn’t take it anymore. He was pulling out his own hair and crying. I just—”

  Ryan nodded in understanding. “I’m here now, and we are going to do this together. When does he need the bone marrow transplant?”

  “In a few weeks, after they are done with the chemotherapy and maybe radiation. Why? If I’m pregnant, you don’t need to be involved, so why do you want to know?”

  “Because I am going to be his donor.” Kennedy’s eyes widened and she stared at him in amazement. “A few weeks and we’ll be done with the season, too, so that’s good.”

  Her face fell, her gaze narrowing instantly. “Do you care about anything apart from football and yourself?”

  Ryan was about to give his own sharp retort, but he remembered what he had put her through. He was a grown up now though, with a child—or children—to look after. “Football is my job, and I can’t stop working. It’s looking like we’ll win the division championships, and if we can win the Super Bowl, there’ll be endorsement deals. We need the money to pay for his treatments and anything else he might need in the future. And then there is the new baby—”

  “I don’t know if I’m pregnant,” she ground out. Kennedy was slowly losing it.

  “Do you want to find out?” he asked. “We could go to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test.”

  “I don’t think I could handle a negative result. Because if I’m not and you bail, what happens to Riley?”

  Ryan opened his mouth to assure her he would never turn his back on Riley, or her, again. But he knew Kennedy probably wouldn’t trust anything he said at this moment. If the situation was different, and if they had time, he would work hard to prove he was worth having in their lives.

  But they didn’t have time. His son was going to die if he didn’t step up and do the right thing here. He had to convince her that he could help. Correction: he had to convince her to let him help. But how? Only one crazy solution came to mind.

  “Marry me.”

  Kennedy’s eyebrows shot up, her mouth opening in shock.

  “We can take a jet to Vegas and get married. That way you will have half of all my money, and the promise that I will always be here for you. For both of you.”

  Ryan could see the uncertainty on her face. Hell, he was pretty uncertain himself. He didn’t know if they were compatible, or really, anything about her, but one thing he was sure of was the sexual chemistry between them. His lips came down on hers like a naked flame on gunpowder. Ryan felt her hesitate to respond at first, but soon Kennedy was kissing him back with urgency. He pulled away for a second and spoke with his lips against hers. “You wanted to run away, let me take you away for a while. We’ll run together.”

  Ryan opened his eyes and found Kennedy watching him. She wasn’t giving in. His heart sank. It was ironic really; She was drawing the line at this, yet she’d have sex with him to produce another child.

  That was it! The answer.

  “Marry me, and I’ll make sure you get pregnant again,” he blurted. “We’ll have another baby. To help Riley.”

  After a long minute, Kennedy finally gave a tiny, hesitant nod. Ryan wasn’t about to let the moment get past him. Instead, he pulled Kennedy to her feet and they ran out of the apartment together.

  They found a curious and stunned Matt in the car. But with a wave of the hand, he seemed to understand. Matt handed Ryan the keys to his car and climbed out, and a few seconds later, they were on their way.

  • • •

  Seven hours later, Kennedy hung up the phone. It had just taken her ten minutes to convince herself and her mother that marrying Ryan was the right decision, For Riley’s sake. Rebecca hadn’t been amused that her daughter had taken off for Vegas without even a word. But Riley, the ever-positive light in her life, was excited about having a Rebel as a father. At least her decision had managed to make one person happy.

  She sat in the back pew of the Elvis chapel with Ryan at her side. It was just the two of them. They were about to make a decision that would change their lives forever. She laughed at herself, her plans were finally materializing. Her high school self had planned on marrying Ryan, on having kids with him. Here she was with her plans coming true one after the other.

  When it was their turn, they walked hand in hand to the front of the pew. They looked like they were headed to the hangman’s noose. They repeated the vows as Elvis told them to, signed their names on the marriage certificate, and walked away without even the kissing part of the wedding fulfilled.

  They were back in their suite when Ryan approached her with the pregnancy test. Kennedy wouldn’t take it; she couldn’t. Inside she felt weak, and was terrified that she wasn’t pregnant. But Ryan seemed to be more scared than she was. Of course she had done the whole baby thing before, but for him it was new. So instead of fighting with him, she took the test. She even let Ryan hover outside the bathroom door as she did it.

  She didn’t leave the safe confines of the bathroom until she got the results. Ryan was sitting on her bed, his face wet, his eyes red as tears rolled down his cheeks. He nervously twiddled with his thumbs then asked, “Are we pregnant?”

  We. That was something Kennedy didn’t expect to be with Ryan Carville. But now she was Mrs. Carville and she had a husband and a family. “Yes, we are pregnant.”

  Then Kennedy saw a sight that she never thought she would see from Ryan Carville. Ryan broke down, his shoulders shaking violently as he cried. Was he happy? That was answered when Ryan pulled her into his arms whispering to her belly. He was going to be a great husband and father.

  Too bad Kennedy had no intention of giving him that chance.

  Chapter Nine

  It had been two weeks since Ryan’s life had changed overnight. Now he had a wife, a son, and a baby on the way, as well as a new home to get used to.

  Also, for the first time in his career, he had invited the press into his life. Matt and his publicist had advised him to do so to get ahead of the tabloids, and while Ryan was happy to claim his son, it was Kennedy’s reaction that he was worried about. When she didn’t say a word in protest, he was relieved. Part of him thought it was a sign that she was willing to give them a chance.

  Ryan forced his worn-out body out of bed. He could hear Riley and Kennedy in the next room. Something was definitely wrong. Between the intense football training and Riley’s care, Ryan quickly figured out his body wasn’t built as strong as he thought it was. He padded on heavy feet towards Riley’s room and found Kennedy already changing the boy into a new set of pajamas. He watched as his son looked at his mother, his eyes empty, exhaustion scrawled on each and every one of his small features.

  They had cut Riley’s hair. Ryan couldn’t take a second more of watching it fall out as Riley brushed it. His decision to take his son to the barbershop was the reason for his and Kennedy’s first argument. Riley had thrown a tantrum, but Ryan didn’t believe in letting a five-year-old decide what was important. He almost gave in when Riley was finally in the barber’s chair, but when he also shaved his head the next day, it had earned him points with both son and mother.

  He walked over to the bed now and picked Riley up. It amazed him how the child trustingly wrapped both his tiny hands and feet around him, after only a few days of knowing him. He took Kenn
edy’s hand and tugged her behind him to his room and laid-down on his king-sized bed. His, because Kennedy had been sleeping in the guest room. But the peace lasted only for a minute before Riley was up again, trying to climb over his mother to get to the bathroom. But the boy’s feet hadn’t touched the ground before he was emptying his stomach.

  “It’s okay. I’ve got it,” Ryan said to Kennedy when she rose. “You should probably go get some sleep in your room. We’ll join you after I clean up.” Your room, my room. Ryan couldn’t get over the fact that Kennedy was still wary of him. She didn’t trust him with her heart or her body. They kept their distance, only talking when they had to, usually about Riley. But they were civil with each other, interacting as acquaintances if not as two people who had made love or had children together. He was just glad she hadn’t drawn up a timetable for his spending time with Riley. Ryan had quickly gotten accustomed to having a family, and he wouldn’t relish being told when or where he had to spend time with his son.

  As Ryan did the laundry, he marveled at the turns his life had taken. He never expected to be here. He had a family and the Rebels had won the AFC East division championships and were headed to the Super Bowl, which was just three days away. In an extremely lucky turn of events, the big game was being held here in Boston this year, so Ryan didn’t have to travel. There was still the dark cloud of his son’s sickness, but Riley was done with the chemo finally and the bone marrow transplant would happen next week. His son would be getting better. With surprise, Ryan realized that for the first time in a long time, he was happy.

  • • •

  “Clara is at it again.” Matt dropped a tabloid on Ryan’s breakfast table.

  “I don’t care.” Ryan’s body was turned towards Riley, trying to sweet talk his son into taking a bite of his breakfast. Riley needed to get his strength up before the doctor could clear him for the procedure. The boy was being stubborn though, so Ryan quickly found himself resorting to bribery. “How about a dirt bike for your birthday?” Riley’s eyes lit up for a second but then gazed at him in suspicion. But after a minute of consideration, his son took a bite of his toast.

  After promising him a gift with each bite, Ryan detected weariness in the droop of his little shoulders, so he cradled Riley in his arms, rubbed his back and hoped he would fall asleep. “He was up all night.”

  “He’s still getting sick?” Matt asked, with a discouraged sigh.

  “Yeah. But in three days, it’s going to be over. The chemo will be done, and then the transplant happens, and he will soon get better,” Ryan said, attempting to encourage himself.

  Matt nodded, his eyes already straying back to the magazine on the table. “You don’t want to know what Clara did this time.”

  Ryan shook his head. He already knew what the little bitch was capable of. She had not only somehow gotten her hands on and released the elevator sex tape and the picture of Matt giving Kennedy money, but she’d been running her mouth to the tabloids, accused him of having many other affairs and lovers. He had ceased caring about what she was doing or planning on doing.

  “I do,” Kennedy said as she walked into the kitchen, exhaustion etched on her features. She looked at their son. “He’s asleep.”

  “That’s good; you should also get some sleep,” Ryan said, as his hand halted its work.

  “I’m fine. In fact, you shouldn’t have let me sleep that long.”

  “You need your rest, especially since you are going to have him on your own for the afternoon,” he whispered.

  “My mom is coming over. I was wondering if she could come and stay for a while, with the game coming up. She could help and you could get a full night’s rest.” Kennedy didn’t sound sure and that only enforced the fear that Ryan felt.

  “I know we only got married in a little chapel in Vegas, but this house is half yours. You can do whatever you want,” Ryan said as he quickly retreated to avoid the usual argument that followed.

  He knew it by heart by now and waited for Kennedy to follow him, only to tell him that their marriage was just temporary, that she was leaving with both children once Riley was better. He waited for her to tell him that they were from different worlds that they didn’t fit together. The comment that usually ended the conversation was that he was trying to be something he wasn’t. A caring, loving, and responsible husband and father he was not. He was Ryan Carville, the high school boy who had done whatever Clara and the football team had told him to do, and his weakness had ruined her life.

  • • •

  Kennedy stood there staring at Ryan’s strong back, Riley’s tiny hands hanging loosely from his shoulders, as he walked away. She thought back to the impulsive decision she had made, the consequences of which she was living through today. Time was moving so quickly. It felt like one minute they’d been standing before an Elvis impersonator saying “I Do” and the next they were in his kitchen having breakfast.

  “Getting married was for the best,” Matt said suddenly, as if he could read her mind.

  Somehow Ryan’s best friend had become their biggest cheerleader. He’d said the same thing a week and a half ago when he’d had a team of movers pack up Kennedy and her family to move them in to Ryan’s. And again last week when they changed Riley’s last name to Carville and she hyphenated her own.

  Maybe that’s what she would say to Ryan when she left his house with his children. “It’s for the best.”

  She sighed and changed the subject. She could use someone to talk to, but no matter how supportive Matt was being now, he was Ryan’s friend, not hers. If she spilled her worries and misgivings to him, he’d probably just turn around and relay them to his best friend. “Tell me what Clara did.”

  “When she saw our press release about the marriage and the story of you two being teenage sweethearts, she said it was a lie. And, uh, she also told the press about… about…” Matt hesitated and she knew what he was struggling to say.

  “She told the press about the United Tastes game and the prom sacrifice,” she quickly filled in. There had to be more though. “Then what?”

  “She said that Riley wasn’t Ryan’s and that you were loose in high school, and that the father of your child could be anyone.”

  What Kennedy just heard fuddled her mind. She needed a few minutes to gather her thoughts. “Are we going to release some kind of a response?” All this politicking and publicity was so new to her, but she was quickly becoming accustomed to the kind of madness that a little celebrity caused.

  “Right now, the team management wants Ryan to keep quiet. When the championship is over, you can deal with it however you want to.”

  “My life seems centered around his football,” she groaned.

  “While mine is centered on you and my children.”

  Kennedy turned around to find Ryan behind her, shadows looming over his face. He skimmed his eyes over her, obviously wanting to say something but biting his tongue. She stared back at him and felt her stomach dance with nerves. She felt guilty. Parts of this were new to Ryan, too, but he was trying to be the best father—and husband—he could.

  “I put him down in the spare bedroom. The cleaners are going to come by in about an hour. He barely ate his breakfast so you might want to give him something when he wakes up,” Ryan barked out his orders and walked out.

  Normally Kennedy would have a retort of her own, but the guilt weighed heavily on her heart. She swiped at the tears now rolling down her cheeks. “Damn hormones.”

  But she had been crying ever since she found out Riley was sick. It had only gotten worse when she found out she was pregnant. She was touched that Ryan would offer her a sympathetic shoulder, but she couldn’t let herself get too close. Ryan was a danger to her. The bumpy jerks her heart made when he was near her, the way her skin tingled when he touched her, and how she missed him when he went to practice was terrifying. She felt emotions for him that she hadn’t felt—hadn’t had time to feel—when they were teenagers. Hell, she’d barely know
n him. That was only infatuation, but now, seeing him trying so hard to help their son, she was in danger of falling in love with him.

  Kennedy watched him as he moved about the room, picking up the breakfast dishes and straightening it out. The urge to reach out and touch him was compelling, but she couldn’t let herself succumb to her heart. She had to protect herself and her children. Kennedy didn’t want to go back to the dark hole she was in when Ryan left her the first time. She made up her mind not to love him and hoped that her heart wouldn’t put up much of a fight.

  Chapter Ten

  Kennedy ran to get the door as the knocking turned into pounding. Between the pregnancy and Riley’s late nights, she could feel her body beginning to shut down. A whirlwind of events was converging on her house; it was a day to the championship and two days to Riley’s last chemotherapy appointment. Both the men in her life were excited, and Kennedy was just counting the seconds to it being over. Kennedy had to stop and catch her breath, unwilling to face the guest on the other side of the door, flustered and out of breathe. But as soon as she opened the door she wished she hadn’t.

  Clara sauntered into the house, her eyes roaming everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Kennedy bit back the insult at the tip of her tongue when she watched Clara inspect her house through narrowed eyes.

  “Clara, what do you want?” Kennedy looked nervously towards the stairs, afraid that her son would wake up from his nap.

  “You know he bought this house for me, right?”

  “Yeah, well, it’s my house now. Please feel free to leave.” Kennedy opened the door wider, her hands signaling for Clara to exit through it. But the woman didn’t take the hint.

  “He’s not going to stay with you. As soon as your brat is better, he’s going to leave you,” she taunted. “We both know you only got married for the insurance. Ryan loves me, not you.”