The Theory of Second Best (Cake #2)

by J. Bengtsson

  “Somehow I don’t think you care about that sort of thing.”

  “I don’t.” She grinned. “See you at dinner, Kyle.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I called out. “Maybe we can find a more private spot later.”

  “Maybe,” she answered without turning around. “If you’re lucky.”

  I watched her well-rounded booty sashay its way out of the church. Yeah. I’d be very lucky.

  5

  Kyle: The ‘Prodigy’ Son Returns

  As always, Jake’s arrival later that evening was met with shock and awe. He’d been delayed for hours in airports around the world trying to get to the rehearsal on time. By the look on his face when he strode through the restaurant, it had not been a good day. Getting pounced on by a fangirl the minute he came through the door didn’t help matters. I could almost feel the stress radiating off him. Jake carried way too much weight on his shoulders for a guy his age. That’s where I came in. And Keith and Emma and Mom and Dad. We were Jake’s safety net, a place for him to relax and feel normal.

  I knew better than anyone that Jake craved that normalcy. People tiptoed around him, always worried about offending or upsetting him, like he was some fragile flower. And at times, he did seem shaky. But there was also a strength to him that defied all logic. What he had endured was beyond what any human should have to endure, yet he was still going… still surviving.

  After Jake greeted the family, he and I walked over to Keith and Quinn.

  “You look like you’ve had a good day,” Keith sarcastically commented.

  A genuine smile formed on Jake’s face. He replied with just as snarky a tone. “Do I?”

  “Oh, yeah. You’re just glowing.”

  “Uh-huh. Scoot over,” he said as he settled into a seat beside Keith. Of course he would pick that one. Jake had always looked up to Keith, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous at times. Where Jake often had a level of disdain when interacting with me, he always treated Keith like his shit didn’t stink. I’d smelled it… it did.

  I hadn’t always been Jake’s right-hand man. When he was just getting popular and I was too young to go on tour, Keith had been the one to travel with him. Yeah, that had been a clusterfuck. Keith had only recently come off his first rehab stint, and traveling on a rock and roll tour was just the push he needed to jump right back into the druggie lifestyle. A second rehab followed, and Keith was never invited back.

  I took my seat next to Jake, but because his back was to me, I was effectively shut out of the conversation. “Sit back,” I complained. “I can’t hear.”

  Jake groaned as if my request was totally unreasonable, but nonetheless he leaned back in his chair to accommodate me. His eyes focused on my face and I saw them squint as he studied me with interest. “Hold up. What happened to your little baby beard?”

  “You mean the one that looked like pubic hair growing all over his face?” Keith added, helpfully.

  “That would be the one.”

  “Mom made me shave it off… some bullshit about shaming the family name. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”

  Jake grinned.

  “Why? Do you like it?” I asked, theatrically rubbing my hand over the smooth skin.

  “Well, I mean, it doesn’t look like you crawled out of a gutter anymore.”

  “Sweet.” I nodded as if his opinion really mattered.

  Jake grabbed a chip out of a basket and dipped it in the salsa. “So where’s Sammy?” he asked Keith.

  “She’s flying in tomorrow.”

  “Wait. Was that allowed?” Jake asked in a raised voice.

  “Not for you, it wasn’t.”

  “Well, shit.” His eyes narrowed in on our mom as he gave her a dirty look. “It shouldn’t be allowed for Sam either, then.”

  “Do you see a ring on her finger?” Keith asked, smugly.

  “No. Do you see a ring on mine?”

  “You were born into this family. There’s no escape."

  Jake stopped his conversation with Keith. “What are you leaning on me for?” he bristled, pushing me off him.

  “You keep turning your back. I can’t hear,” I said, straightening up.

  “You’re, like, lying on top of me. It’s annoying.”

  “You want to talk annoying? I’ve watched you double dip not once, not twice, but like fifteen fucking times.”

  “I wasn’t double dipping.”

  “News flash. When you dip a chip twice, that’s double dipping,” I challenged.

  “If you must know, I took a bite, flipped it, then re-dipped it, asshole.” Jake’s words dripped contempt.

  “That’s still double dipping,” I mumbled under my breath. Jake ignored me and turned his back, shutting me out of the conversation again. My instinct was to smother him in a big, gushy hug to really piss him off, and I would have had we been alone, but since there was a rather large audience, I refrained.

  “What took you so long, anyway?” Keith asked.

  “Honestly, I have no good explanation. Today just sucked ass. So many damn delays. I’m surprised I even made it.”

  “Like you had it so bad,” I scoffed. “You didn’t have to drive seven hours in a car with Quinn.”

  “Wait,” Quinn, sitting on the other side of Keith, objected. “What did I do?”

  “Seriously? The chipmunk song?”

  “Oh, yeah,” he grinned.

  “Do I even want to know?” Jake asked.

  “Not unless you want him to sing it for you.”

  “Oh no, I don’t want that. Never mind.”

  “You guys just don’t appreciate good music, the way Jake and I do,” Quinn joked.

  “Do not drag me down with you!” Jake exclaimed.

  We all laughed. Jake leaned back in his chair, stretching out. I could see the stress lines in his forehead slowly receding. His tight shoulders opened up and gradually relaxed, and the forced smile he had carried since arriving had disappeared completely. This was a good start. Maybe a more pleasant mood would follow.

  “Anyway, I have a game for us to play later.”

  “Shut up, Quinn. No one’s talking to you,” Keith kidded.

  “Seriously. It’s fun.”

  I glanced around. Neither Jake nor Keith looked the least bit interested in Quinn’s version of fun, so I took pity on him. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s your game?”

  “Bean Boozled.”

  “Oh, god no!” I blurted out, laughing.

  Looking confused, Jake asked, “Bean what?”

  “Bean Boozled,” I answered. “It’s that game where you spin the wheel and there are two jellybeans on each stop. One is a good flavor like peach or blueberry, and the other is like vomit or baby wipe. And you don’t know what you’ll get until you put it in your mouth.”

  “You’re joking, right?” Jake asked, not seeming amused.

  “No. Sadly, I’m not. And apparently, the flavors are pretty spot on, too.”

  Jake had a confused look on his face as he shook his head. “And this is supposed to be fun?”

  “That’s what the kid says.” I shrugged.

  “It is,” Quinn tried. “It’s really funny, I promise.”

  “No offense, Quinn, but I wouldn’t play that game if you put a gun to my head,” Jake countered dramatically. Seriously? Did he have to use that reference?

  “You guys are fun suckers.”

  Multiple times throughout the dinner, I tried to get Sarah’s attention. And, although she smiled at me a few times, her focus was almost entirely on Jake. I knew I shouldn’t be surprised, seeing as Sarah had been very candid in her intentions, but after the church encounter, I'd mistakenly believed that she was into me.

  Dinner hadn’t been over for more than one minute when my church hookup threw herself at my big brother. Unexpected pangs of jealousy crept in through my bones. Even though it was to be expected, Sarah’s lack of consideration took me by surprise. Typically I didn't let things like this bother me.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew I didn’t bring much to the table in comparison to my brother. I got why women would want him over me. I mean, why settle for the spark when you could have the flame?

  I stood off in the distance, pissed, silently praying that Jake would shut her down like I'd predicted he would. I knew it shouldn’t bother me… yet this one stung a bit. Who was I to think a woman would be into me for me?

  “Nice girl.”

  Emma was suddenly beside me, motioning toward Sarah.

  “Are you here to gloat?” I replied glumly.

  “No.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m not. I promise. She was totally leading you on earlier, Kyle. That’s a bitch move. You can do so much better than someone like her,” Emma said sympathetically, and then added, “And if Jake even thinks about it, we’ll do a tag team takedown.”

  I laughed. That was the nicest thing she’d said to me in, like, forever!

  6

  Kyle: The Tale Of Two Jellybeans

  When Jake first told me about Casey after the rehearsal dinner, I was immediately suspicious of her intentions. They’d met in the restaurant moments after Sarah had tried flinging herself on him. Apparently the two were paired together for the wedding party, and Jake had been instantly hooked. I’d never seen him have such an immediate attraction to anyone before, so naturally, I was dubious. I didn’t know exactly how she’d drawn him in, but I felt sure that she was playing him. And judging by the spellbound look in his eyes, Jake was buying into her game. What was it about this girl that captivated him? He’d literally met thousands before her, and not one had ever sparked his interest. Not even his ex-girlfriend, Krista, who had basically wormed her way into his life without Jake even realizing what was happening. If I'd had to hear him complain one more time about not being able to break it off with her, I would have done it for him!

  Once Krista was gone for good, there had been no others. Occasionally he had one-night stands, but Jake seemed completely uninterested in another relationship. So his uncharacteristic attraction to Casey blew my mind and made me question her motives. Was she tricking him? Could she be an undercover reporter? I needed to figure out her angle. If this Casey girl thought she was going to mess with Jake, she’d be going through me first.

  That evening, I was hanging out with my brothers in the atrium area of the hotel lobby when Jake saw her walking by and pointed her out. Oh, yeah, how convenient. She just magically appeared? I wasn’t buying it for a second. This girl was probably a stalker… a goddamn savvy one… but still a stalker. The sooner she was exposed as a fraud, the better. No sense in Jake getting all amped up over this girl if she was just going to crush him.

  Much to Jake’s horror, I called her over and was all prepared to squash her like the cockroach I assumed her to be when something totally unexpected happened. The girl was legit, and the chemistry between them was off the hook. I immediately saw in Casey what Jake had seen. She had a glow to her that lit up the room. I watched in amazement as the two flirted their way through the conversation.

  And Jake? Damn. Keith, Quinn, and I watched in awe as our normally beleaguered brother proved that he actually had some honest-to-god game when it came to women! He matched her wit step for step. Jake interacted with us like this, but never had I seen him charm a girl. Feeling giddy with optimistic fervor, a stupid smile was stamped on my face, and I was seriously contemplating giving Jake a high five for a job well done.

  The only time my brother ever came close to the flicker he had with Casey was when he performed on stage. But those were small snippets of light, reserved for his fans who would never get close enough to him to even benefit from the glow. Sometimes during those moments, I’d stand mesmerized at the side of the stage and watch Jake with the same dopey smile I had on my face now and pretend he was still the same electrifying kid he’d once been, before his life was stolen away so cruelly.

  At some point during our lively conversation, Quinn’s bean game appeared on the table. He sure wasn’t giving up easily.

  “No way!” Casey squealed. “I love this game!”

  “How am I the only person who’s never heard of this?” Jake asked.

  “Not just you. My ninety-eight-year-old grandma hasn’t heard of it either.”

  Jake grinned. “Well, that explains it, then, since we run in the same circles and all.”

  “Exactly,” Casey beamed. Her pretty oval shaped face lit up when she smiled. I grinned like a fool every time she flashed her deep dimples. She exuded happiness. Casey was the polar opposite of Jake in every way, yet somehow she seemed perfect for him.

  “Are we going to play this, or what?” Jake asked, completely reversing his earlier decision. So much for the gun to his head.

  Quinn jumped to attention. “Really? Okay.”

  “So who starts?” Keith asked. “I think it should be youngest to oldest.”

  “Oh, of course you do, grandpa!” I blasted.

  “I don’t know,” Jake teased. “Casey loves this game sooo much. I think it should be ladies first.”

  Casey grinned. “All right. You’re on!”

  She spun the wheel, and it landed on two brownish-orange jellybeans. Quinn read the flavors.

  “You are either going to eat tutti-fruitti or sweaty sock.”

  The rest of us burst out laughing.

  “Sweaty sock?” Jake questioned. “How would the creators of the game even know what that tastes like?”

  “Please, Jake,” Casey interrupted. “I need absolute silence. It’s incredibly important to be in the zone.”

  Amusement danced on Jake’s face. He was really digging this girl. We all were. Silence ensued as Casey took a deep breath and gamely popped one of the two beans in her mouth. It was clear from the first bite which one she got.

  “Tutti-fruitti, bitches!” she declared happily as she high-fived the rest of us. “Now I get to pick.”

  “Wait, who made you boss?” Jake asked.

  “It’s the rules.”

  “According to who?”

  “Me,” she laughed.

  “Does anyone else have a problem with this?”

  “No,” the rest of us yelled out, knowing that by allowing Casey to choose, Jake would be the next to go.

  “Awesome. Okay, so I’m going to choose… oh gosh, who should it be?” Casey asked, with a wicked smile on her face. “I just can’t decide…”

  “Just give me the damn spinner,” Jake replied, as he grabbed the game.

  His spin landed on two dark green ones.

  “Oh, shit!” Quinn exclaimed, looking sufficiently nervous. Because Jake hadn't been around much when he was growing up, Quinn didn’t have the close relationship with him that Keith and I had. As a result, he always seemed to be looking for validation of some sort.

  “What? What did I get?”

  “Well, yours are juicy pear…”

  “Gross, I hate pears,” Jake complained.

  “Actually, Jake, that’s the good flavor.” Quinn winced.

  “What’s the bad flavor?”

  “Booger.”

  “Booger?” Jake asked in astonishment.

  “Yeah,” Quinn said, apologetically.

  “So let me just clarify here. I won’t know until I put it in my mouth if I am eating pear or booger?”

  “That’s the game, dork,” Casey pitched in, supportively. “Get on with it.”

  Jake gave Quinn the stink eye before popping one of the two jellybeans in his mouth. Because he gave nothing away in his expression, it was impossible to know what flavor he was eating. We all waited expectantly. No reaction.

  “Oh, my god!” Casey screeched. “The suspense is killing me.”

  “Well, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure I just ate booger.”

  “Don’t sell yourself short, J, I’m sure you’ve eaten plenty of boogers in your lifetime,” I offered helpfully.

  Casey rolled with laughter before asking, “Was it sweet?”

>   “No. Definitely not sweet,” Jake grinned.

  “Then you ate booger.”

  Jake put his hand over his mouth like he was going to barf, and then started laughing.

  Again, I was taken by complete surprise at Jake’s playfulness. Earlier he’d almost had me assassinated for suggesting he might possibly be double dipping a chip, and now he was eating boogers with glee.

  “Okay, my turn to choose. Quinn, you’re up. And I really hope you get the barf bean, you little jerk! Does anyone have any water?”

  “I have whiskey.”

  “That’s even better.”

  While Jake took a pull of whiskey to get the taste of booger out of his mouth, Quinn spun the wheel. He got the option of rotten egg or buttered popcorn, and wouldn’t you know it, he got buttered popcorn.

  “Nooo!” Jake whined. “How is that fair?”

  “It’s the game,” Quinn said shrugging, as he finished savoring his tasty bean.

  “A rigged game,” I grumbled. I had yet to play, and I knew my time in the hot seat was quickly approaching.

  “How can I rig jellybeans, Kyle?” Quinn asked, mocking in a snooty, teenage way.

  “Yeah, Kyle,” Casey added, mimicking Quinn’s tone. “How can he rig jellybeans?”

  “Jake, will you please keep that girl quiet?” I teased, as I spun the wheel.

  “I’m not sure if that’s possible.”

  Casey’s nose crinkled when she smiled. I had to admit it was pretty cute.

  And as luck would have it, I landed on skunk spray or black licorice. “Of course! Two flavors I totally hate.”

  “Right,” Keith joked. “Because he’s tried skunk spray on multiple occasions.”

  “I’m just saying, no matter what, I lose,” I complained.

  “Oh right, ’cuz I totally won with my booger bean.” Jake rolled his eyes.

  I ignored him, cracking my knuckles and popping my neck in preparation. With an overly exaggerated breath, I picked up the jellybean and, plugging my nose, popped it in my mouth. As soon as I started chewing, heat rose up through every bone in my body. My skin tingled. My ears felt like they would burst into flames at any moment.