The Theory of Second Best (Cake #2)

by J. Bengtsson

  I walked over to her as if I was going to help her up but instead nudged her with my foot and said, encouragingly, “You suck.”

  Kenzie laughed, as I knew she would. She was fun like that.

  “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to be a gentleman and help me up?”

  “I’m just going to stand here.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me and collapsed onto her back. “Fine. Go for a walk by yourself.”

  I smiled down at her. Damn, I enjoyed our daily walks. I got bored sitting around the camp. In the real world, I was inherently a lazy person, but at least I had stuff to occupy my time, like music or video games or television. Out on the island, it was just chores and endless talking. And, unfortunately the person doing the majority of the latter was Marsha. Good God, that woman could talk. Sometimes I just needed a break, and Kenzie was my go-to pal for such things. Luckily she didn’t mind keeping me company. She was always up for a stroll.

  I bent over and extended my hand. She grabbed it, but instead of pulling herself up, she yanked me down. I tumbled onto my knees, straddling her. Her other hand went to my side, tickling me.

  “Oh, is that how you’re going to play it?” I said, returning the favor.

  We tickled each other for a minute before she grabbed my other hand and panted, “Stop, I can’t take it anymore.”

  “That’s what they all say,” I answered smugly, swinging my leg off her and plopping my ass into the sand. She sat up too.

  “Oh, I’m sure. I bet you’re quite the player back home.”

  “What gives you that impression?” I asked.

  “This,” she said, gesturing to my entire being in general.

  “What? I’m offended,” I gasped. “If you must know, I’m still a virgin and looking for just the right woman to show me the ropes.”

  “Oh, my God, please tell me that you’ve never used that line on anyone.”

  “Actually, when I was younger I did. You’d be surprised how effective it was.”

  Kenzie groaned like I disgusted her. “That’s the last thing I’d want – having to teach a guy. It’s like some exciting toy you’ve been looking forward to, and then you open it up and it didn’t come with batteries.”

  I laughed out loud. “Wow, I never thought of it that way.”

  “Because you’re a guy. You all want virgins,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “So I guess that answers my burning question.”

  “What question is that?”

  “If you’re a virgin or not.”

  She eyeballed me but didn’t seem offended. “How much thought have you been giving toward my purity, Kyle?” There was a clear flirty tone to her voice.

  “The required amount. I’m a guy, Kenzie. We ponder these things.”

  “Well, I’m not a virgin, but I’m far from a ‘ho’.”

  “Oh, perfect. Just the way I like them,” I joked.

  She grinned, looking at me with a strange expression before she hopped back onto her feet and started walking. I watched her sandy, bikinied bottom shimmy away, and like the obedient mutt I was, I jumped to my feet and ran after her.

  TV Confessional

  “Just so we’re clear, I’m not really a virgin.”

  —Kyle

  20

  Kenzie: Taming the Dragon

  Carl and I sat on the rock overhang as we worked on his surly temperament.

  “So you’re telling me I should just ignore her damn comments?” he complained.

  “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. We’re all annoyed by them, but part of being a decent human being is not rubbing people’s noses in the shit they create.”

  “I don’t know if I can do it. I mean, yesterday Marsha told me that fact about turtles being able to breathe through their rear ends three times! I’m trying, Kenzie, but a person can only take so much.”

  “I know.” I patted his giant arm. “And I sympathize. Yesterday I heard the one about the slug again.”

  “Do they really have four noses? I mean, really, do they? How can we even be certain that these ‘facts’ she’s spouting are true? Maybe she’s just feeding us lies in hopes that we’ll spread them around the world.”

  Carl was getting more agitated as he spoke. The large vein that ran through his forehead was bulging and his teeth were clenched.

  “That’s what I’m talking about, Carl. Control the facial expressions. It makes you look mean. Take that deep breath we talked about.”

  Carl did as I asked, but he still appeared angry and resentful.

  “Let’s work on your smile again. Think of something that makes you happy, like your daughter, and then keep that in the back of your mind when you talk to people. Yep, right there. Look at you! So handsome,” I cooed.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m not kidding. When you smile, it lights up your face. People respond to that. In my personal opinion, I find guys who smile so much cuter.”

  “Like Kyle,” he teased, and I heard just a hint of his inner diva. “Girl’s got a crush.”

  “No, I don’t,” I lied. Then I caught sight of Carl’s raised eyebrow and knowing smile. “Okay, I do. I mean look at him.” Kyle was on the beach not far away from us, so I swept my hand in his direction. “I’m only human.”

  “Meh… I’ve seen better. I mean facewise, yeah maybe, but he’s too skinny. I can’t be sure, but I think he might still be going through puberty.”

  “Stop,” I laughed, and then leaned into Carl and swooned. “I think he’s perfectly perfect.”

  “You would. You’ve got this whole ‘save the world’ thing going on. First you take pity on the giant and now the runt.”

  “Hardly.”

  “Do you think he likes you?” Carl asked. “The two of you are always pretty cozy at night.”

  “I don’t know. He’s so flirty, but I think he’s like that with everyone. I never really know what he’s thinking.”

  “You give the kid too much credit. I honestly don’t think he’s got a lot going on upstairs.”

  “You just have to get the digs in, don’t you?” I shook my head and laughed.

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Anyway, I seriously doubt I’m his type of girl. I think he goes for the slutty types, and he basically implied earlier today that he thought I was a virgin.”

  “You’re not?”

  “Nooo. Why does everyone think that?”

  “You just have that sweet, innocent vibe to you, probably because you look like one of those Beanie Babies with the big, soulful eyes.”

  “I love those things,” I gushed.

  “I know, right? You want to know a secret? Sometimes I buy them pretending that I’m going to give them to my daughter, and I keep them for myself.”

  “I love you, Carl,” I grinned. “Too bad you’re gay.”

  “Yeah, too bad for you,” he teased. “So what are you planning to do about your boy toy?”

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “I think he’s out of my league.”

  “HA,” he barked. “If you ask me, it’s the opposite. Any man would be lucky to have you, and if Kyle can’t see that, he’s not worth wanting.”

  “Ahhh, will you be my best friend forever?”

  Our laughter halted abruptly when Kyle started up the beach, coming straight toward us.

  “Speak of the devil,” Carl said, his demeanor instantly souring.

  “Carl!” I scolded. “Be nice. Actually, you know what? This is the perfect opportunity for you to practice your friendly greeting. Now, remember what I taught you.”

  Carl grunted. “This just seems pointless.”

  I furrowed my brows to display my annoyance. Why did he always have to fight me? “Deep breath; then smile and greet. Here he comes.”

  Carl transformed his mouth into what looked more like a snarl than a smile. Why he could flash one so effortlessly for me but not for the others puzzled me. Kyle had a happy-go-lucky expression on his f
ace as he ambled up the beach, but once he caught sight of Carl’s attempt at a smile, he startled and cut a wide circle around us.

  “KYLE!” Carl bellowed. “HELLO!”

  I swear Kyle jumped, and then froze in place as if he were convinced he was about to be beaten to a bloody pulp.

  I groaned. How could this be so difficult? “With less enthusiasm and no aggression, Carl. Geez.” And then to Kyle, I said, “Relax. He’s trying to be friendly.”

  “That was friendly?” Kyle replied in shock. “Seriously, I thought I was about to die.”

  Carl raised his arms in defeat, stood up, and stomped off.

  “Carl!” I called out to him.

  “This is stupid.” He threw the angry words over his shoulder. “I’m never going to learn to be pleasant, so stop trying!”

  TV Confessional

  “I think that went well.”

  —Kenzie

  21

  Kyle: Secret’s Out

  About two weeks into the game, Kenzie learned the truth about who I am. I hadn’t planned on telling her, but she had been honest, opening up her life to me, and I felt I owed her the same. That day, I’d been lying awake in the shelter, waiting for the first bits of light to peek out over the horizon. I loved this time of day, when everyone was still asleep.

  Some days I’d just lie there and wait for the light to flood our camp and gradually wake the others around me. Other days I’d take a walk by myself. The sounds of the waves gently rolling up the beach and the rustling of the trees in the morning breeze were so relaxing. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so alive. I’d never really been one with nature before, but I was starting to understand its charms.

  More often than not, I had Kenzie for company on my morning strolls. We’d grown close in the past couple of weeks. Out here, with nothing but time on our hands, we did a lot of just hanging out and talking. I’d never really had female friends, not close ones anyway, and I was digging having someone to really communicate with.

  Talking to women was different than talking to men. It was acceptable to discuss important things with them. They encouraged it and didn’t call you a pansy-ass bitch if you got all gushy, like I did with my newfound fascination with nature. Kenzie didn’t think it was stupid. In fact, she told me I was evolving as a person, whatever that meant. I didn’t know if I would take it that far, but there was definitely a change in me. I was feeling more decisive and in control of my own life.

  As much as we talked, though, I held back an important part of who I was from her. Maybe it was the cameras or maybe it was just the knowledge that once my secret was out there, I would no longer just be Kyle. I would again become an extension of my famous sibling… my connection to him seen as my only redeeming quality. Right now Kenzie and Dale and the others believed I was more than that, and I bristled at the thought of losing that feeling of inclusion.

  “Kenzie?” I whispered to her sleeping frame. No response. My arms were around her waist, her head rested against my chest. We had become exceedingly comfortable with each other… sometimes too comfortable. More than once we’d woken up to my hard-on poking into her back. Yeah, that was always an awkward conversation. I’d had to explain, at least four times now, that it wasn’t her but my overactive sleep time imagination. Strangely enough, she didn’t seem too happy with my explanation, maybe because she knew I was lying. My hard-ons had everything to do with her. Kenzie had this way of burrowing herself into me like a prairie dog. Her shapely ass was always wiggling itself closer to me. I was a guy… what did she expect?

  “Kenzie?” I spoke a bit more loudly, but this time added a finger to her ear.

  She batted it away like an insect. “What do you want, Kyle?” she groaned.

  “Are you awake?”

  “Do I look awake?”

  “Okay, I’ll wait.”

  There was no movement from Kenzie, but I knew her mind was now stirring. No way could she go back to sleep knowing I was waiting on her to wake up. That was the difference between men and women. Women were more concerned about the well-being of others. Had it been me, I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep in an instant, completely oblivious to her need for company.

  Just as predicted, I saw one eye open.

  “Hi,” I grinned, as attractively as I could, given the fact I hadn’t showered in weeks.

  She smiled despite herself. “Hi.”

  “Are you awake now?”

  “Not really.”

  “You want to take a walk?”

  “Right now?” She yawned. Her eyes were droopy, and she had little creases on her cheek from the bamboo floor. Her hair was matted down on one side. I fluffed it with my fingers.

  “I can’t sleep.”

  She smiled her sleepy smile and stretched her arms, doing a little squiggle. “And if you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep either?” she whispered.

  “That’s right. Hurry – the sun is about to rise.”

  She grinned, gazing up at me in her drowsy way, before reaching out her hand and swiping it playfully across my cheek. I’d never had anyone look at me the way she did. She genuinely enjoyed my company. Most girls viewed me as the opening act for the main attraction. They didn’t bother getting to know me because I wasn’t their final destination. Kenzie wanted to learn everything about me, as evidenced by the endless questions she asked me on a daily basis. Seriously, I had no idea I had that many interesting facts to give her, but damned if she didn’t come up with new things to ask me every day.

  I gave Kenzie my best ‘come out and play’ look to entice her out of bed.

  “All right, you win.”

  We slipped on our shoes and walked down the beach. It was still dark. In a few minutes, the sun would rise from behind the sea, and I felt the fluttering of excitement in my chest. I’d never given stuff like this a second thought in the real world, but out here, in this dream existence, something as everyday as the sun making its first appearance of the morning held a sense of wonder in my expanding universe. Maybe I was evolving.

  I found the rock on the edge of the waterline that Kenzie and I had used many times to hang out. She sat down as I stood beside her admiring the view. Neither of us spoke as we watched the orange sun peek out over the horizon. Slowly the darkness turned to light. I snuck a glance of Kenzie’s profile. Eyes closed, she’d dipped her head to the sun and wore the most content expression on her face. Her sun-streaked hair had caught the rays and sparkled in the light. Her long lashes curled upward, and as she smiled, the little crinkles in the corners of her eyes highlighted her sunny disposition. My own eyes did a double take as I realized what I was seeing. Damn, Kenzie was actually pretty damn attractive.

  Perhaps sensing my eyes on her, she peaked one open and smiled. “What?”

  “Nothing. You look happy.”

  “I am,” she said. Those two words sounded so relaxed.

  I kept staring at her.

  “Stop,” she laughed. “What’s your problem?”

  “Nothing. I’d just never noticed before how pretty you are.”

  Kenzie straightened herself up, peeking at me out from under her lashes as a flush crept across her cheeks. “Are you messing with me?”

  “No. I’m giving you a compliment. Don’t get all weird about it.”

  “I’m not,” she said, concentrating intensely on the rock she was sitting on. “And, uh… thank you… for the compliment.”

  I shook my head, feeling suddenly embarrassed. “Way to make that awkward, Kenzie.”

  She laughed softly and then shifted her gaze back up at the sky. Without looking in my direction, she asked, “So what’s your deal, Kyle? Why are you here?”

  “My deal?” I asked, feeling unexpectedly defensive. I deflected the question back at her. “I don’t have a deal. What’s your deal?”

  “I told you already: I need the money.”

  “Why do you need it so badly?”

  “It’s not that I need-need it. I just want it.” />
  I laughed. “We all just want it.”

  “I guess.”

  “You’re really not going to tell me?” I asked, shooing her with my hand to scoot over. Once she moved, I climbed onto the rock next to her.

  “You’re expecting something earth-shattering. It’s not like that. We’ve just been struggling financially for a long time, and it would be nice not to have to worry for a change, you know what I mean?”

  No, actually I didn’t really know what she meant. It’s not like I was a millionaire, far from it, but I made a better than average paycheck and all my expenses were taken care of, so I was far from struggling. Still, I wasn’t that far removed from reality that I didn’t understand people weren’t as fortunate as I am.

  “Who’s ‘we’?” I asked.

  “My dad and siblings.”

  “Not your mom?”

  Kenzie dropped her head a little. Her shoulders slumped. “She died when I was eight.”

  “Oh, god, I’m sorry.” In hindsight, it was a stupid question to ask. With my mom the dominant figure in my family, it just seemed natural to assume the mother was in the picture.

  “It was a long time ago.”

  An uncomfortable silence commenced. I was more than familiar with this awkward quiet. It happened a lot to me when people learned who my brother was. What was it about tragedy that stole people’s voices? I refused to put that burden on Kenzie.

  “How’d she die? Or is that too personal?”

  Kenzie opened her eyes and studied my face a moment. She seemed surprised that I asked. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again.

  “Never mind. I’m being too pushy. Sorry.”

  She placed her icy cold hand on mine for a split second and then stole it back.