Naomi’s Christmas

by Marta Perry

  “She is doing well,” Nathan said quickly, his arm snugging his son against him. “I stayed until she was in her own room at the hospital. She was sleepy, but she said to tell you she loves you and she’ll see you again soon.”

  Joshua relaxed visibly, and Naomi felt herself do the same. Denke, Father, she said silently.

  “Will she be here tomorrow?” Sadie asked.

  “No, not tomorrow. It will take her a little time to get back to normal, so we must be patient.” Nathan looked at Naomi, and she knew what he was asking without his saying a word.

  “I will be here tomorrow, ja?” She bent to hug Sadie and then Joshua. “Now I should probably…” She paused, looking questioningly at Nathan. “Did Paula bring you home?”

  “I did not want to keep her away from the bakery for so long. I hired Ben Miller to drive me back. He’ll take you home, too.”

  Ben was a retired Englischer who enjoyed serving as a taxi driver for the Amish and the horse-and-buggy Mennonites when they needed to go someplace too distant to take a buggy.

  “I should go then.” She started for the door.

  Nathan rose and came after her. “I must go down and speak to Naomi before she leaves,” he told the children. “I’ll be back up to say good night.”

  Naomi went on down the steps, aware of his sturdy figure behind her. Obviously she would come tomorrow. But what about the next day, and the next? There was more to be said about Emma’s condition than Nathan had told the children.

  When they reached the kitchen, safely out of earshot of the children’s room, she turned to Nathan. “How bad is Emma’s injury?”

  “It’s a broken hip.” He passed a hand over his forehead, as if he longed to wipe away the events of the day. “She is back in her room and resting.”

  Poor Emma. A broken hip was serious, for sure, at her age. “Is someone with her?”

  Nathan nodded. “Emma is cousins with Lizzie Taubner, and Lizzie is sitting with her tonight. Jessie was there, but she was so upset it seemed best to send her home.”

  That fact probably didn’t need a comment. “I’m sorry. For Emma and for you.”

  “Denke.” He ran his hand through his hair and gripped the back of his neck, his face drawn with fatigue and worry. “It is wonderful kind of you to come today. And tomorrow.”

  “What else would I do?” She managed a smile, trying not to think of her own concerns. “You have enough to do without worrying about who is taking care of the kinder.”

  “I shouldn’t have expected Emma to watch them. If she hadn’t been trying to do too much, this never would have happened.”

  Of course Nathan would try to take responsibility. “I do not think you could have prevented Emma from taking care of her grandchildren,” she said, her voice mild.

  Nathan shook his head, probably not cheered much by her words, true though they were. “I never even questioned Emma’s taking over after Ada died. Maybe I was too shocked then to think it through, but that doesn’t excuse me from taking her for granted since then.”

  “Nathan, Emma wanted to care for Joshua and Sadie. She loves them.”

  Naomi longed to comfort him and wasn’t sure how. True, Emma was getting on in years and in other circumstances would have been happy to settle into a quieter role, but after Ada’s death, she had done what she had to. That was all anyone could do in the face of such tragedy.

  “I talked with the doctor,” he said abruptly. “Emma will be in the hospital for a few days, and then she will be moved to the rehab unit. They will help her learn to walk again.” He hesitated. Then he turned to her with a look of decision on his face. “I can’t expect that Emma will ever be able to take on complete care of two young ones again.”

  She sensed what he was about to ask her and a wave of panic rippled through her. “You can’t be sure—” she began.

  He cut that off with a sharp gesture. “Joshua and Sadie have lost so much in their lives already. Now their grossmammi. They need a woman they can count on.” He looked at her, waiting.

  She wanted to help him, longed to soothe the pain and worry from his face. But that very longing set up warning signals in her heart. Caring for Nathan’s children seemed coupled with caring about Nathan. She couldn’t let that happen—it was a sure recipe for heartache. But she couldn’t desert the children, either.

  “I will take over the kinder for the next few days,” she said carefully. “By then you will know better what the future holds.”

  “I know now.” His jaw was tight as he ground out the words. “And I know that spending your life taking care of my children is not what you planned.”

  Naomi pressed her fingers to her forehead. “Nathan, I must have time to think. Please, don’t ask me to decide something this big all in a minute.” The panic intensified as she felt the situation spinning out of her control.

  Something of her panic must have communicated itself to Nathan. He took a step back, seeming to force himself to relax. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Just promise me that you’ll think about it.”

  The wonder would be if she could think about anything else. “Ja. I will.” She went quickly to get her coat before he could think of anything else to say to convince her.

  But he didn’t even try. He held the door for her. “Ben will pick you up in the morning and take you home tomorrow night, so you don’t have to worry about driving the buggy when it’s getting dark.”

  “Denke,” she murmured. “I will be praying for Emma.” She escaped, going quickly toward the waiting car.

  It was too bad she couldn’t escape her thoughts so easily. Doing as Nathan wanted meant changing the course of her life once again, when she’d barely begun to get used to the aftermath of Daad’s remarriage.

  And if she did say yes, where would she live? She couldn’t stay with Paula if she wasn’t working at the bakery.

  A month ago she’d thought she had no choices at all about her future. Now she had too many.

  Nathan tossed the final bale of straw down to Isaiah the next afternoon. “That will do it, I think.” He swung himself onto the ladder and climbed down from the loft.

  Isaiah was already putting fresh straw in the last stall. Daad, coming in the barn just then, shook his head.

  “You boys have finished the cleaning without me? I told you I would help.”

  “You help with plenty,” Nathan said. “Besides, Isaiah and I were seeing who could work the fastest.”

  Isaiah grinned. “I’m younger, so I’m faster.”

  Nathan tossed a flake of straw at him. “You’re dreaming,” he retorted.

  “You are in a gut mood,” Daad said. “Is there news from the hospital?”

  Nathan nodded, knowing full well that wasn’t the cause of his raised spirits. “The nurse I spoke to said Emma had a restless night, but she was smiling and talking today.”

  “Gut, gut.” Daad gave him a knowing look. “And Naomi is here with the kinder again. She will keep their minds off what happened yesterday.”

  “Last time I looked in, they were making Christmas cards,” Isaiah said. “I remember Naomi doing that with me.”

  “I expect you wanted to join them,” Daad teased, gathering up the binder twine from the bale.

  Isaiah grinned. “Well, it did look like fun—all that colored paper and crayons and paste.” He turned to Nathan. “Do you want me to get that harness ready to go for mending?”

  Nathan nodded. “Ja, that would be gut. I’ll try to drop it off tomorrow at Bishop Mose’s harness shop.”

  Isaiah headed for the tack room, but Daad stood where he was, looking at Nathan with a question in his eyes. “You are going to ask Naomi to stay for gut, ain’t so?”

  “I already did, last night. It’s the best solution I can see.” He just hoped by this time Naomi was ready to admit it was.

  “What did she say?” Daad leaned against a stall, shifting his weight as if tired of standing.

  “She wanted time to think about it.” He c
ouldn’t help clenching his jaw. “I don’t have time. I’m going to talk to her again this afternoon. I thought maybe you could bring the kinder outside so we can have a word in private. I wouldn’t want them to hear.”

  “I will,” Daad said. “But…”

  “But what?” He didn’t want to sound impatient with his father, but he felt driven to have this settled.

  Daad’s gaze was steady, and he frowned a little. “It is not fair to push Naomi into taking over the kinder if it’s not what she wants. She might have reasons you don’t know about for wishing her life otherwise.”

  Nathan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, calming himself. “I can’t pretend it’s not important to me, because it is. But I will try not to push.”

  “And try to listen, as well. Naomi is not one to blurt out everything that’s on her mind. You must give her a chance to talk and not rush her.”

  Much as it exasperated him, he had a sneaking suspicion Daad was right. He’d spent the night coming up with answers for every objection he thought Naomi might raise. Was that pushing? Well, maybe so.

  “I promise I’ll be patient and listen,” he said. He nodded toward the house. “Maybe we’d best do it now, before I get impatient again.”

  Daad nodded, and they started toward the house side by side. Nathan rehearsed what he would say, hoping he had the right words to persuade Naomi. Her answer was too important to leave to chance.

  Joshua and Sadie looked up from the table when the door opened.

  “Who wants to go and give the horses a carrot?” Daad said.

  “Me, me.” Sadie slid off her chair first, but Joshua beat her to the coat hooks.

  “I can get my coat on faster,” he said, and promptly got it turned the wrong way around.

  Laughing, Naomi came to his aid and then helped Sadie into her jacket. “Don’t forget your mittens. I’ll get some carrots for you.”

  In a moment Daad and the young ones were out the door, with Sadie still chattering a mile a minute. Naomi turned to Nathan, and the smile slowly faded from her face.

  “I guess you want an answer from me.”

  Reminding himself of Daad’s words, Nathan tried to relax. He pulled out a chair at the table, pushing the children’s cards to one side. “I thought it would be better to talk about it when the kinder aren’t around. We couldn’t really discuss it much last night.”

  Moving slowly, Naomi took the seat across from him. It reminded him of the countless times he’d seen her sit with Ada in this same spot, talking and laughing with cups of tea cooling in front of them. He’d asked Ada once what they found to talk about for so long.

  You always find things to say to an old friend, she’d responded. Even if I can guess what Naomi would say, I like to hear it from her.

  He pressed his palms on the table, willing away the sound of Ada’s voice. He’d best think about what Daad had said, instead.

  “Daad is afraid I’m trying to push you into saying yes,” he said, surprising himself. He hadn’t intended to tell her.

  But she smiled a little, and he was glad he had said it. “And aren’t you?”

  She knew him too well. “Maybe,” he admitted. “But it is your decision.”

  “Ja,” she said softly. She looked down at her hands.

  He couldn’t see her eyes, and that bothered him. He might be able to tell what she was thinking if he could look into her clear eyes.

  “I know you love the kinder,” he said. “So it’s not that which makes you hesitate. Tell me what it is, and maybe we can solve it together.”

  She glanced up at him, and he thought she seemed flustered at being pinned down so. “Well, there’s my honey business, to start with. It will take a lot of time when warm weather comes. I don’t want to give that up.”

  “I don’t want you to give it up. It’s important to you. But there are enough extra hands here with me and Daad and Isaiah to help you out. I’ll take it to the stores myself if you want.” He had a momentary image of himself selling honey along with the milk.

  Naomi’s face warmed, and he thought she was seeing that same picture. “That wouldn’t be necessary. But there’s the bakery. Paula and Hannah have been wonderful kind to me. I wouldn’t want to leave them shorthanded. And besides, I can’t stay with Paula if I’m not working for her. That wouldn’t be fair.”

  Her hands were gripping each other tightly, and he resisted the urge to place his hand over hers.

  “Just talk to Paula and Hannah. See what they say. You can do that much, can’t you?”

  She nodded. “But—”

  “Ja, a place to live is more serious. I don’t like the idea of you driving back and forth all the time anyway, especially in bad weather. If you were here—”

  “I couldn’t,” she said quickly, her face filled with something like panic. “Nathan, you know that wouldn’t be suitable.”

  “Not here in the house, no.” Surely she knew he wouldn’t suggest such a thing. “But Isaiah and Libby live right here on the property.”

  “I don’t want to move in with them. Newlyweds don’t need an older sister sharing the same roof.”

  “Not the same roof, either.” His own patience surprised him. But this was important, and he had to get it right. “But the grossdaadi house where my daad’s aunt used to live is right across the lane from Isaiah’s place. We’ve kept it in gut shape, and we’d just have to move some furniture in.” He could see that the notion appealed to Naomi, and he leaned forward. “You’d be right next to your brother and his wife. I’d think that would make your daad happy.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it would stop the mouths of the gossips, at least.”

  That startled him. “You believe folks would gossip because you’re here taking care of my kinder? Why?”

  She looked at him as if he were about Joshua’s age. “Folks always gossip. I’m too close to you in age, and Ada’s friend besides. They would—” She stopped, her cheeks growing pink.

  They would say she was trying to catch him. He filled in the rest of the sentence for her. He should have thought of that possibility, but it had never entered his mind.

  He kept himself from saying it was ridiculous. “At least if you were living next to family, that would discourage talk.”

  Naomi let out a sigh, seeming to relax a little. “You have an answer for everything. Except for one thing. What if Emma doesn’t agree that she can’t come back full-time?”

  Why did women always have to make things so difficult? Emma surely would see common sense about the situation.

  Or would she?

  “I think,” he said slowly, “that Emma will realize it herself when she sees that her recovery takes a long time. By then, Joshua and Sadie will be settled happily with you. She’ll see that having you here is best for them.”

  When Naomi didn’t answer, he clasped her hands in his, gripping them firmly so that she raised a startled gaze to his. “The kinder can’t be left feeling that everything in their life is temporary.”

  His voice cracked on the words, and he was ashamed at himself for showing so much emotion. But Naomi returned the pressure of his hands with warm, quick sympathy.

  “All right,” she said. “I will work it out with Paula and Hannah somehow. It will be fine.”

  He was suddenly very aware of the warmth of her touch, of her fingers pressing his. He let go and shoved his chair back to stand.

  “Gut,” he said, wondering where all this confusion he felt had come from. “Gut.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Are you sure you don’t mind?” Naomi looked from the jars of honey she was stacking on the counter to Paula, busy cleaning the bakery case at the end of the day.

  “Ach, how many times must I tell you?” Paula was mock scolding. “I’m not saying we won’t miss you around here, because we surely will. But you must go in the direction you feel led.”

  “I hope I am being led to the right thing.” Doubt
s had crept in, of course, once she was away from the farm and had time to think. “I feel as if my life is being turned upside down yet again. And what if Emma does recover enough to come back to the children?”

  Paula paused, frowning a little. The sleeves of her print Mennonite dress had been pushed up, and she was enveloped in the white apron she wore in the bakery.

  “I try to put myself in Emma’s place,” she said. “We are about the same age, ain’t so?”

  Naomi nodded. Paula was certainly still very active. She’d resent it if anyone tried to take over for her, although she was giving her niece more and more responsibility.

  “A broken hip is serious business,” Paula said. “It will take time for her to recover, and by then, she may have gotten accustomed to your watching the kinder.”

  “That’s what Nathan thinks.” It was reassuring to hear Paula echo his thought, since Paula wasn’t trying to persuade her to do something.

  “We never know just how things are going to turn out, do we?” Paula shook her head. “We just have to do what seems right at the time. And certainly it’s right to take care of those motherless kinder. Who will do it better than their mother’s dearest friend?”

  “I hope so. It’s a big responsibility.”

  “About that, I don’t have any doubts,” Paula declared. “You can give the kinder the home life they need.”

  “Aunt Paula is right.” Hannah, finished cleaning the small round tables, came to the counter. Her attention was caught by the jars of honey. “You did some more of the Christmas ones. They look so pretty.” She touched the bright red fabric. “They’ve been selling very quickly.”

  “I noticed.” Naomi had been surprised today to see how many jars had gone from the bakery. “I’ll try to do some more in the next few days.” Struck by a sudden thought, she looked at Paula. “That is, if you still want to sell them since I won’t be working here any longer.”

  “For sure I want to sell them,” Paula declared. “And there’s no need to rush out of your room, either. You should wait until everything is fixed up the way you want it in the grossdaadi house.”