Naomi’s Christmas

by Marta Perry

  The last thing he wanted was to have Jessie direct her anger against Naomi. “This has nothing to do with Naomi. I make the decisions for my kinder.”

  “It’s all right.” The anger changed in an instant to a smile. “I understand. You think I’m not responsible enough, but I am. You’ll see.”

  In an instant she was out the door, pulling her coat on as she went, her bonnet dangling from one hand. Before Nathan could decide if he should try to stop her, she was gone.

  Daad put a hand on his shoulder. “Best to let her go. It would cause more trouble if you tried to stop her, ain’t so?”

  “Maybe, but one thing is sure.” Responsibility weighed heavily on him. “You were right to be cautious. Something must be done about Jessie.”

  The sound of someone knocking sent Naomi cautiously to the back door, thinking of all the people she did not want to see today. But the visitor was Lovina, and she gestured with the suitcase she’d agreed to lend Naomi when they’d talked briefly after Daad and Betty had left the previous day.

  “Lovina, komm. I’m glad it’s you.” She could only hope her face wasn’t showing the stain of the tears she’d shed during the night.

  “I brought the suitcase,” Lovina said unnecessarily, setting it down. “But are you certain-sure you want to go away, Naomi?”

  She wasn’t sure of anything, which seemed in itself a good reason for getting away for a bit. “I’m sure. It will be gut to spend a few days with Anna and her family.” And Anna’s house was a safe bus ride away from Pleasant Valley and all the gossip.

  “Anna will be wonderful glad to see you, I know.” Lovina took her bonnet off, showing she intended to stay.

  Well, Naomi could hardly send her sister-in-law out into the cold again without something to eat and a hot drink. She reached for the kettle.

  “Tea or hot chocolate?” she asked, knowing Lovina didn’t have a taste for coffee when she was pregnant.

  “Tea sounds gut.” Lovina hung up her jacket and bonnet and took a seat at the kitchen table, where she sat looking at Naomi with a troubled frown.

  “Please don’t look so worried.” Naomi set cups on the table and a wedge of coffee cake Libby had brought over last night. “I’m all right. It will be best to get away for a while, that’s all.”

  “But to go right before Christmas…” Lovina shook her head. “I hate to think of you traveling then. Please, stay with us until after Christmas, at least. Then you can go.”

  “I can’t.” She pressed her lips together, and then she realized she had to say more. “It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy Christmas with you and the family. But until all the talk has died down, I just want to be somewhere else.”

  “Ach, well, I’m sorry to see you go, but I do understand.”

  Lovina’s loving concern nearly made Naomi’s eyes sting. The kettle boiled, and by the time she’d poured the tea, she had regained control. She sat down opposite Lovina, who had already cut a slice of the coffee cake.

  Lovina smiled. “I’m eating too much already, I know. I’m either starving or sick, it seems.”

  “These first few months will pass quickly,” Naomi said. “Then you’ll have your energy back. Have you talked to Midwife Sarah yet?”

  The community’s midwife was young and progressive. She always wanted to see expectant women as early as possible.

  “I’m to go in after Christmas.” Lovina was momentarily diverted by talk of the new boppli, but Naomi suspected that wouldn’t last.

  Sure enough, the concerned look appeared in her eyes again. “I understand your wanting to get away, at least until people understand that the bishop has confidence there is nothing wrong between you and Nathan. But afterward—will you go back to Nathan’s children?”

  Naomi pressed her palms against her cheeks. This was the question that had kept her up most of the night. What about the children? But how could she bear to go back, to be in Nathan’s house every day, with the memory of that proposal that had been like a slap in the face?

  I’ll marry her then. Not exactly the words a woman wanted to hear. But Lovina was waiting for an answer.

  “I don’t see how I can. If Nathan hadn’t spoken…” She let that trail off, Nathan’s words pounding in her head again.

  “Ach, Nathan is as foolish sometimes as most men can be when it comes to women. How could he think you would marry him after such a proposal?”

  “He wasn’t thinking at all. He doesn’t want to marry me.” Naomi said the words evenly, at the cost of considerable pain in her heart.

  “I don’t think Nathan knows what he wants.” Lovina was more blunt than usual. “He convinced himself he could never love anyone else after Ada died, and now he feels guilty to think of anything else.”

  Naomi stared at her sister-in-law for a moment. “How did you get to be such a wise woman, Lovina Esch?”

  “Ach, it’s not wisdom, it’s common sense.” A smile flickered across her face. “Betty saw it, too. That’s why she scolded him so thoroughly. You know, I’m starting to like Betty.”

  Some of Naomi’s tension slipped away, and she managed a smile. “I am, as well. If it hadn’t been for her, I’m not sure how I’d have made peace with Daadi.”

  “Now that you have, you must not run away.” Lovina reached across the table to clasp her hand. “No matter how people may talk or what Nathan may feel, you are still the same person you were. You have nothing to reproach yourself for.”

  “It’s not so easy as you make it sound. And I’m not sure I am the same person I was before I came to work for Nathan.”

  Lovina’s grip on her hand tightened. “I see. You love him, don’t you?”

  She may as well admit it out loud. Lovina would know if she lied. “Ja, I guess I do.” She blinked back the treacherous tears. “If I didn’t love Nathan, it wouldn’t matter so much. I don’t want to run away. I just don’t see what else I can do.”

  Nathan couldn’t help shifting restlessly as he waited at Bishop Mose’s harness shop for Seth Miller to pick them up. Events had followed quickly once he’d decided that he had to speak to the bishop about Jessie.

  Maybe too quickly. Should he have gone to Emma instead? But it seemed unfair to push the burden onto Emma in her current state. What could she do, tied to her wheelchair at the rehab facility?

  Bishop Mose moved steadily through the shop, hanging up his apron, turning the sign on the door to closed. Then he got his jacket and pulled it on.

  “Seth will be on time, I think. He is used to punctuality, being a businessman out among the Englisch.”

  “Are you sure it was right to involve him?” Nathan couldn’t help voicing his doubts.

  “Seth is Jessie’s older brother. Going Englisch didn’t change the fact that they are his family.” The bishop’s tone was serene, his patience reminding Nathan of Naomi. “With Emma unable to help, Seth must take the responsibility.”

  “He hasn’t taken the responsibility in the past.”

  “No. But now he has another chance to do what is right.” Bishop Mose reached for the door handle. “Here he is.”

  A silver car pulled up in front of the harness shop. By the time the two of them reached it, Seth had come around to open the doors on the passenger side.

  Bishop Mose climbed into the front without hesitation, so Nathan slid into the backseat. Once Seth resumed his place behind the wheel, he swiveled to look at them, frowning a little.

  “Are you really sure this is necessary? I know Jessie’s behavior has been erratic and that my mother is worried about her. But maybe confronting her isn’t the way to go about getting her help.”

  The bishop didn’t seem any more affected by Seth’s doubts than he had been by Nathan’s. “I have spoken to Emma. She admitted to me that she has never seen Jessie’s speech and behavior so wild. And I have talked with Lydia Beachy, Emma’s next-door neighbor.”

  Seth gave him a sharp look. “Would she have been Lydia Weaver?”

  “Ja, the sam
e,” Bishop Mose said tranquilly. “I thought you would remember her.”

  Nathan knew Lydia well, too. He had a lot of respect for her sound common sense. If she had told the bishop something troubling, it must be serious.

  “What did Lydia say?” he asked, half wishing he didn’t have to hear the answer.

  “She has been troubled about Jessie since Emma first went away. She did not wish to be a tale-bearer, but she began to be worried when Jessie’s horse and buggy were gone all night several times. She confronted Jessie, and Jessie insisted she had stayed with a friend.” He paused. “I have checked with the friend. Jessie was not there.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Seth pulled the car away from the curb, his hands tight on the wheel. Nathan felt as if there were a lead ball in the pit of his stomach. This was serious, very serious. The fact that the bishop would take such extraordinary steps testified to how concerned he was.

  “I guess we don’t have a choice.” Seth clipped off the words. “But what are we going to do if she simply denies it?”

  “It is in God’s hands,” Bishop Mose said.

  That silenced Nathan. He wondered for a moment if Seth would make some comment, but he didn’t. Apparently he accepted that, as he’d said, they had no choice.

  Emma’s house was about a mile from the edge of town along a sparsely traveled back road. Lydia’s place was next door, but the lots were big enough that the houses weren’t very close together. Lydia’s orchard stretched between the houses up the gentle slope. Probably she would be able to see the lights from Emma’s house. That might be what had first alerted her to the fact that Jessie wasn’t where she should be.

  “I have asked Lydia to meet us at the house.” Bishop Mose spoke as they turned in the lane that led to the house and beyond it to the small barn. “One of the sisters should be here, and I did not wish to bring anyone else into the business who didn’t already know something of it.”

  Nathan nodded. “That is gut. We don’t want to encourage any more rumors.” He hesitated. “You are thinking that Jessie is the one who started the stories about Naomi and me, ain’t so?”

  The bishop got out of the car and stood for a moment, waiting until they had joined him. “One of the nights when Lydia says Jessie was not home was the night Sadie was taken ill.”

  Seth shot him a glance, obviously not knowing what they were talking about. But Bishop Mose did not offer an explanation. As country people always did, he went to the back door. Nathan and Seth followed, and Nathan wasn’t sure which of them was the more reluctant.

  It was Lydia who came to answer his knock. She nodded to Nathan, darted a quick glance at Seth, and turned to the bishop. “I have been trying to get her to sit down and have some tea, but she can’t seem to stop pacing around the house.” She gestured toward the living room. “I will take your coats.”

  “Denke, Lydia. It is gut of you to help in this way.” Bishop Mose made it sound as if this was like any of the normal occasions on which an Amish neighbor helped as a matter of course. “Why don’t you brew some of your chamomile tea? That is always soothing.”

  Lydia nodded, taking their coats toward the row of hooks in the back hall.

  Bishop Mose gathered the two of them with a glance and led the way into the living room.

  Jessie was walking with quick strides across the room, and she spun around when she saw them. Ignoring the other two, she zeroed in on Nathan.

  “Have you come to apologize for the way you acted this morning?” she demanded. “You were rude to me.”

  “I did not mean to be rude to you, Jessie.” Nathan kept his voice as even and patient as if he were speaking to a jittery animal. “You took me by surprise, that’s all.”

  “Well, it’s time you came to your senses. All of you.” Her gaze swept the other two, and Nathan’s breath caught. People didn’t speak to the bishop that way. Not rational people, anyway.

  “Komm, Jessie.” Bishop Mose was calm but firm. He took her arm to lead her to the sofa. “You must sit down here so we can talk to you. We are worried about you.”

  “Nobody needs to be worried about me.” She jerked her arm free. “I’m fine, and I don’t want to sit down.”

  Seth moved quickly to take her other arm. “You don’t want to talk to the bishop that way, Jessie. Think how upset Mamm would be to hear you.”

  Surprisingly, she allowed Seth to lead her to a seat on the couch. “Mamm’s not here,” she stated. “I can do what I want.”

  Seth sat down next to her, exchanging glances with the bishop. “What things, Jessie? Like going out at night, maybe?”

  She looked down at her feet. “Maybe.” She shrugged. “I can take care of myself. I don’t know why anyone should worry.”

  “It’s dangerous to drive a buggy at night,” Bishop Mose said quietly. “Especially all the way out to Nathan’s place on that busy road.”

  “I did not take the main road,” she said quickly. “I went on all the back roads. It took longer, but it was safer, and no one saw me.” She stopped, her face puckering a little. “Why are you asking me? How did you know I went to Nathan’s?”

  “Because how else would you know about Naomi staying so late the night Sadie was sick? You wouldn’t tell anyone that unless you knew for sure,” Bishop Mose said.

  “Of course I wouldn’t. I’m not a blabbermaul. But I knew Naomi would do anything to try and catch Nathan. I had to protect him from her. I knew if I watched, I’d catch her, and I did!” She ended on a triumphant note.

  Nathan’s stomach seemed to be turning inside out. Little Jessie, Ada’s baby sister, sitting here confessing to spying on him. Ada’s heart would be broken if she knew how sick Jessie was.

  “You spied on Nathan and Naomi.” Bishop Mose’s voice had taken on a stern note. “And then you bore false witness against them, telling people they were sinning when you had no proof at all.”

  “I did have proof! I did!” Jessie’s voice rose and her gaze darted from one to the other of them, as if she had just realized that no one agreed with her actions. “I saw Naomi leaving the house in the middle of the night with my own eyes.”

  “Naomi stayed because Sadie was sick…” he began, but Jessie didn’t let him get any further.

  “It’s a lie.” Her words shrilled out of control. “You’re lying, trying to protect Naomi. You want her to take Ada’s place.” She lurched to her feet, throwing off Seth’s restraining hand. “She’s tricked you!”

  Without warning she launched herself at Nathan, swinging wildly, striking his face again and again as Seth struggled to restrain her. Nathan stood motionless, bearing the blows, until finally Seth and Lydia and Bishop Mose among them wrestled Jessie onto the couch.

  She deflated all in an instant, bursting into sobs and curling into a ball on the couch. Seth looked at him, face white.

  “Are you okay?”

  Nathan nodded. “What are we going to do?”

  “The hospital emergency room first, I think,” Bishop Mose said, moving so that Lydia could bend over Jessie, murmuring something soothing. “They will be able to refer her to whatever care she needs.”

  Seth nodded, rubbing his face with his hands. “I’ll drive her there. Someone had better come with me in case—” He left that unfinished, because all of them could visualize what it could be like trying to get Jessie to the hospital if she erupted again.

  “I will go,” Nathan said.

  “No.” Bishop Mose’s tone was firm. “Your presence would just remind her of her grievance against you. I will go. Maybe Lydia…”

  “Ja, I will komm as well,” Lydia said. “My mamm is with the kinder.”

  It felt like shirking his responsibility, but Nathan could understand the wisdom of Bishop Mose’s words. Why had he not realized how serious this obsession of Jessie’s was? She had come close to ruining Naomi’s life out of her jealousy.

  “Someone must talk to Emma about what has happened,” he said. “I’ll get Ben to drive
me over there to explain things.”

  Seth nodded. “Tell her I’ll come and let her know what’s happening as soon as I can.” He paused, looking at Nathan. “You have no reason to believe me, I guess. But I won’t be dumping this responsibility onto you. I’ll stay here until things are stable with my mother and my sister.”

  Nathan saw the resolution in Seth’s face, and it seemed to him that he could feel Ada’s approval. “Ja,” he said. “That is gut.”

  Naomi was packed and ready to leave. Soon Daad would pick her up and drive her to the bus stop in Pleasant Valley. By evening—Christmas Eve, she reminded herself—she would be with Anna and her family.

  She suspected that Daad would have taken the unusual step of calling Anna to tell her what had been happening in Pleasant Valley. Anna was the tactful one of the family—she’d make sure that no one mentioned a thing about Nathan or rumors or Pleasant Valley at all.

  Naomi drew the collar of her black coat more closely around her neck. The chill wind blew across the field, sending a fine spray of snow through the air. She sent a cautious glance toward Nathan’s farmhouse, but no one was visible, and she thanked the good Lord for that mercy. She couldn’t see Nathan yet.

  She had just one thing to do before she left. She must say her good-byes to the bees.

  Superstition, some rational part of her mind jeered, but in her heart she knew her feeling ran deeper than a silly belief. The bees were a part of her life. Once, when Naomi asked Grossmammi why she talked to the bees, she had said that she found peace with life’s changes by speaking them aloud to the bees.

  Perhaps telling the bees would help Naomi to accept, even if peace seemed in short supply right now.

  Satisfied that she had reached the hives without attracting anyone’s notice, Naomi pulled off her mitten and put her hand against the center hive. If she listened closely, she imagined she could hear the whirring of countless tiny wings as the bees clustered closely around the queen, keeping her warm so that all of them could survive another year.