This is Me

by Nikki Mathis Thompson

  "Where ya headed?"

  "Back to my dorm."

  "And where's that?" He stopped and put his hand on her arm so she would stop.

  "Look, Michael, if you're trying to get a head start on your first bedpost notch as a big college freshman, you're barking up the wrong skirt. Okay? I'll see you in class." She brushed past him and this time he did take the hint.

  Chapter 2

  ~Michael~

  He watched the longest, most luscious pair of legs he'd ever seen stomp away. He'd never seen a girl wear shorts and combat boots. Girls didn't dress like that back home. He was wondering why, because it was sexy as shit.

  Michael took off his cap and rubbed the back of his head. What did he do wrong? His charm always worked— well usually—okay, sometimes. She was one of those angry at the world kind of girls, but she seemed smart and sassy. He loved sassy. And angry sex was the best.

  "Okay, Barton, don't get ahead of yourself," he mumbled. If he didn't tread lightly he would be drinking his meals through a straw. That girl seemed like she could get violent if provoked.

  When he walked into class he noticed her long tan legs coming out of tiny denim shorts. Boner. And then when she looked up at him with those big brown eyes slightly squinted in annoyance, boner squared. He loved a challenge and anyone that hot would be worth the effort. Her tiny waist and small but fantastic rack. Boner...He groaned and adjusted himself as covertly as possible. He turned towards his dorm, thinking about sports and other things that would help him get his dick under control. But then there she was, holding a baseball bat and stroking it up and down.

  Damn it!

  Do I have time to take care of this before Geology?

  He'd fit it in...

  Michael wasn't just interested in sex. Scratch that. He was an eighteen year old guy, sex was always the most interesting thing to him, a warm breeze could get him hard. But he wasn't like his friends and the guys in his fraternity. They nailed em and sailed em. Getting laid was the primary objective. But it was more of a biological urge than a diabolical plan. Teenage guys had to whack-off multiple times in a 24 hour period. Girls just help ease the pressure of the sperm that built up exponentially as the day wore on.

  Michael shrugged his shoulders.

  What can I say, guys are ruled by their cocks.

  He was popular, athletic, and his father owned a car dealership in his hometown. Good looks and a rad truck—it wasn't hard to find a warm body. But those kind of girls, the easy and the greedy, were not the type he was interested in long term. He wanted college to be different. He would be turning nineteen in a few months and after two years of sleeping around, he was done. He just needed his johnson to get with the program.

  He wanted someone he could have fun with. Someone to challenge him and excite him. Well excite his mind, she already excited his pants. He wasn't saying Charlie was this person, too soon to tell. But it was a definite possibility. And if it turned out just to be sex, well he could live with that too...

  Chapter 3

  ~Charlie~

  She flung her backpack onto her small bed and her body hit the mattress a second later. If you could call it a bed. It was more like a hard slab than an actual bed.

  Note to Self: Get pillow top for this torturous excuse for a bed.

  Her chest rose and fell in a smooth rhythmic motion, her eyes closed. It had been one hell of a first week and she was fried, emotionally and physically. She missed her friends and her brother. Okay, she even missed her parents. It was hard being away from home for the first time. In her juvenile hubris she thought being on her own would be the gift that kept on giving. The answer to all of her problems.

  What she felt was lonely.

  She knew she would make new friends and she did know a few people she could hang with, but it wasn't the same. Pushing away her thoughts of loneliness she continued to breathe deep and find her zen. She felt herself beginning to drift off when her phone rang, the shrill brrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnng jarring in the silence of her dorm room. She grabbed the red top lip of her phone, pulling the tangled cord. Her friends had bought it for her as a joke, so they could give her a smooch when they missed her. Jess had stayed home to go to junior college. Bridge and Tiffy went to school together in Austin. Luckily they could all get to each other in a few hours.

  "Hello."

  "Hey ass-face, let me in."

  "You're downstairs?"

  "Yeah, that's kind of what let me in means."

  Charlie slammed the phone down and squealed. She got down the three flights of stairs in record time. She ripped the door open and threw her arms around her friend's neck. They hugged and cried, like it had been a month instead of a week.

  "This is the best surprise ever! I was just upstairs drowning in loneliness and self pity," Charlie said dramatically.

  Jess grabbed her bag and threw her arm around Charlie.

  "You know, somehow I sensed that you needed me. Plus there was no way in hell I was going to miss your first weekend at school. I hope you have some serious parties lined up." When Charlie didn't answer Jess stopped in her tracks. She stepped onto the stair above Charlie so she could look down at her. "Charlene Elizabeth Montgomery! Do not tell me you were planning on staying in this weekend?"

  No response.

  "I can overlook your change in hairstyle and wardrobe, in fact I think it's bad ass. But I draw the line at this anti-social gig you've got going."

  "Sorry. I just don't feel like doing anything with anyone that isn't you guys, ya know?"

  "Yeah, I get it. But this campus is crawling with hotness. In fact I just saw a guy so fine I almost threw my panties at him." Charlie laughed and pulled Jess's arm so they could continue up to her dorm room.

  "Well, here it is—home sweet cell."

  "It is kind of bare. You need some posters or something. Maybe a little throw rug."

  "Thank you, Martha Stewart," Charlie said, grabbing Jess's bag.

  "Where's your roommate?"

  "Oh, she went home for the weekend. I don't even know why she went away to college if she was just going to go home every weekend to see her boyfriend. She seems nice though. Plus she's quiet and keeps to herself. So I think I lucked out. Going potluck for a dorm mate is always a gamble."

  "Just think, if you want to sneak a guy in after a party you won't have to worry about putting a sock on the door. You can just get busy." Jess started humping the air. Charlie grabbed a pillow and threw it at her, missing by a mile. "You have the worst aim ever."

  "So why are you here again?" Charlie teased.

  "You love me, you know it."

  "Of course I do. You're the only one I know whose sense of humor is as perverted as mine, sisters in sarcasm."

  "Okay then, sister, I'm here to get drunk and get fondled by some frat boys. Shane and Donovan are rushing SigEp and there's a huge party tonight. A lot of our friends from home will be there. So lets get dressed and grab some grub. Something greasy to absorb the copious amounts of alcohol we're going to consume."

  "Copious?"

  "Yes, copious... I'm a writer remember? That's my word of the week," Jess said with a wink. Jess had an off the charts IQ, but had no interest in college. She was only attending community college to appease her parents. She wanted to be a writer and believed in the school of life as she called it. She planned to tour Europe as soon as she saved up the money. Just her backpack and journal. Jess had the wanderlust and Charlie knew it was just a matter of time before she lost her friend to the world. The thought made her sad, but a spirit like Jess's couldn't be contained, it would wither and die.

  Jess gave her a the look, the look that Charlie could not say no to.

  "Okay, Jess, since you came all this way I can go against everything I believe in and go to a fraternity party."

  "Oh God, dramatic much? Just a few months ago you loved parties and wore sweater sets, so give me a fucking break. Go put on something tight. I have heavy petting in my future." Charlie hugged her f
riend and pinched her butt. Jess screamed and tweaked Charlie in the arm.

  "Okay truce, truce." Charlie laughed.

  Jess flipped her sandy curls from her face and started to take her wardrobe choices from her bag.

  "You talk to Tiff and Bridge?" Charlie asked pulling her shirt off.

  "Yes. They both got a bid to the same sorority, Chi Delta Hoochie."

  Charlie laughed pulled and out her go-to black dress. The sleeves were sheer and billowy, the skirt was short but not tight. It was comfortable and she could wear her boots with it. Or at least she was going to.

  "Speaking of sororities, how bad did you mom freak when you told her you weren't rushing?" Jess asked. She'd put on her worn Girbaud jeans and a tight black shirt.

  "Well, let's just say she wasn't thrilled about the idea."

  When Charlie called her mom to break the news it had gone about as well as expected. She'd totally chickened out on the face to face.

  "Now Charlene, I was a Tri and your grandmama was a Tri. Why in God's name would you want to break the tradition? Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into you, with the clothes and the eyeliner. Not to mention the attitude. I'm going to talk to Pastor Ron about this," her mother twanged and hung up the phone.

  Yeah Mom, you go talk to Pastor Ron. I'm sure he has insight on teenage girls who walk in on the guy they love getting his knob polished by a total skank.

  Yes let's pray on that...

  She hoped she wouldn't be angry forever. But right now she still felt it like a knife in her gut and until that passed she would hold on to that anger. It was better than feeling hurt and empty.

  Jess fluffed her curls that fell well past her shoulders. Charlie spent about the same amount of time on her hair. Now that it was short she didn't have to bother with it that much.

  "Thanks for coming, Jess. I was already missing you."

  "Me too."

  "Wow. It still stuns me that this beautiful car is our personal chariot. You're so pretty, Marshmallow," Jess said, stroking the car with light fingers.

  "For someone who uses words like verbatim and superfluous, I can't believe that's what you named my car." Charlie always teased her about it, but they'd all adopted the name with little discussion.

  The white Mustang 5.0 convertible was a graduation gift from her parents. She told them it was too much as she slid into the soft leather seat and hugged the steering wheel. She and her girls spent the summer cruising around town with the top down, listening to 80s new wave, one of their obsessions—singing at the top of their lungs, oblivious to the strange looks their vocals invited. It was the perfect summer, despite the dull ache in her chest and the bitter taste of betrayal fresh on her tongue.

  The top accordioned as Charlie pushed in a tape. "For old times' sake."

  The intro for "This Charming Man" blared and Jess let out a dolphin-pitched squeal. The engine revved as they bounced back and forth.

  "I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear!" they sang out into the warm air. Charlie smiled and savored the feeling in her chest. Trent was out there somewhere and she couldn't have cared less.

  Chapter 4

  ~Michael~

  "Barton! Go get the third keg from the back," a voice yelled from the kitchen.

  Michael huffed—he'd just sat down. Some days he hated being a pledge.

  He couldn't complain...much. Compared to the other freshman, his initiation had been a cakewalk. Jared Webster had to wear the same pair of tighty whities for two weeks. The brothers marked them and checked every day, even if it was on the way to class. The weather was still really warm so he started to smell like a port-a potty at a Tex-Mex food festival, which sucked for him, he was already red cheeked and on the portly side. Needless to say he didn't need anything else going against him on the girl front. Michael's older brother Chad was a senior and one of the most popular guys in the fraternity. Some older siblings could be assholes, but Chad always treated him with kindness and respect, so the others followed suit. That didn't stop them from giving him bitch errands, but at least he had on clean underwear.

  Michael pushed off the couch and trudged to the covered patio where the kegs were lined.

  "You need a hand Mini B?"

  "Yah, that'd be great." He hated that nickname.

  They grunted as they hefted the Keg into the empty garbage can. "You got any honeys coming tonight?"

  "Nah." Michael wouldn't tell Scott even if he had invited a girl. He was notorious for poaching other guys' dates. It was all a big game to him. He drew the line at girlfriends, but if it wasn't serious every pair of tits was fair game. Michael had hoped one girl would come, but since she'd given him the monumental brush off he hadn't had a chance to invite her. She didn't seem to be the type to troll frat houses anyway. Why couldn't he stop thinking about this girl? She'd said no more than then a few words to him and they were all borderline hostile. He'd hold those thoughts until he was safe in his shower. Beating off to her image was becoming his new hobby.

  Chapter 5

  ~Charlie~

  "This is sooo the theme song of my life right now." "Under the Milkyway" was playing on the speakers right above their booth. She sang "wish I knew what I was looking for," into her French fry changing the lyrics a bit. Jess smiled and joined in for a few lines.

  "Seems to fit, you've been on a bit of a soul search lately," Jess said as she shoved two fries in her mouth. "I personally like the new Charlie. I always felt like you were trying to fit into someone else's perception of you. Ya know?"

  "Yeah, that's about right. My mom involved in every committee, successful father and popular boyfriend. On paper it all looked so perfect, picture perfect. But if you zoomed in you would see my smile was forced." She sipped her diet soda and sighed.

  "I think we all do it to an extent. Look at me going through the motions at Slacker U, just to indulge my parents...Finding out who we really are—that's what life after high school is all about. This could be a phase for you, but regardless, you are being who you want to be at this moment."

  "Here's to being our own women. Let no man or overbearing parent put asunder."

  "Here, here and amen." Jess smiled.

  "You want the rest of my fries?" Charlie asked.

  "You want the rest of my hamburger?" Jess retorted.

  They switched baskets.

  Charlie's stomach did a nose dive when they drove past the large red brick two story colonial. It had a wide cement porch with a large wooden SΦΣ above the door.

  "We could still catch a movie. I heard the new Bruce Willis is good."

  "Charlie, it'll be fine. You need to get out and meet some new people, preferably people with penises."

  Charlie groaned. "Fine! You are a bossy-ass little thing."

  She drove around for a few minutes then found a parking spot on the next block. They gave each other the once-over and linked arms. Jess sang and Charlie stepped over the cracks on the aged sidewalk. The air was warm and humid even though the sun had just about disappeared on the horizon.

  Charlie tensed when they turned on the main walk up to the house. Jess stopped on the sidewalk and grabbed her arm.

  "Hey, I know Trent did a number on you but it's not like you were going to marry the guy or anything...right?"

  "Right." For like a nano second she'd pictured them together and how cute their babies would be. But she'd been cooling off towards him for months, she just didn't admit it to herself until now.

  "You know Jess, you're right. Let's get drunk and meet boys. We're in college now. Let's make like a squirrel and snuggle some nuts." Jess snorted and grabbed her hand.

  "Whatever that means, I'm in! Let's find the guys and they can introduce us to their hot fraternity brothers." She pushed up her boobs and wiggled her eyebrows.

  "Oh lordy, this is going to be a long night," Charlie groaned.

  There was a sea of bodies crammed in the first floor, literally wall to wall. The music was playing at an obscene leve
l. It was like one of their parties back home, but on steroids.

  "How are we going to find Shane and Donovan?" Charlie yelled out of pure necessity.

  Jess smiled and pulled Charlie deep into the maze of flesh.

  "Excuse me...Pardon me...Excuse me," Charlie kept saying. Fuck it. There were just too many people to be polite.

  Jess seemed to know where she was going, so Charlie just trusted that they would at least find the alcohol. The went through the kitchen and onto the back porch. The backyard was just as crowded as the front. People were screaming the lyrics to "OPP", the guys their line then the girls theirs. Charlie rolled her eyes at the song, but then a smile creeped in. She had to admit everyone seemed to be having fun. Beside the multiple kegs there was a huge block of ice. Curious, she approached to see a petite girl on her knees with her mouth open. There was an attractive guy beside her lifting a bottle in the air. Charlie watched as a red liquor slid down a meandering groove in the ice. It was like an alcoholic curly slide. The destination was the girls open mouth. Charlie watched her throat as she swallowed only to cough a second later.

  I'm so trying that later.

  "We're so trying that later," Jess said in Charlie's ear.

  "Ha, I was just thinking the same thing."

  "Come on. I found the guys." They both grabbed a cup of beer and went back into the house. They were being eye fucked and hey baby'd by almost every guy they walked past. It made Charlie annoyed and flattered at the same time. It was nice to be noticed. She was pretty sure it was because she was with Jess. Guys were always attracted to Jess and she ate it up, hey-ing them right back. She may have grabbed a couple asses on the way for good measure. She was a world class flirt, but somehow she did it without coming off like a tease. Jess was no virgin, but she was selective on who she allowed in her sacred space. Yep, that's what she called it.

  Good luck, horn balls, you'll need it.

  After traversing crowds in various parts of the house, they finally ended up in a large game room on the first floor. There was a pool table, a large television, and a long wooden bar at the back wall. Charlie was surprised by the fact that she was excited to see the guys. She hadn't seen them in months.