Never Should Have Loved You

by Tierra Ashley

  I guess he figured with his stocky size he could take me down

  But it wasn’t happening

  I planted my feet and wrestled with him like a bull

  He was trying to flip me over on the picnic table

  But if he thought he was going to body slam me in front of everyone

  He would be crashing into the table right with me

  Naomi and her friend came back out the house

  I could hear Naomi shouting “STOP!”

  The DJ turned off the music

  And all you could hear was me and my bro grunting

  He was strong…

  …but I was strong too

  However hard he had been working out in the gym I had been working out just as hard

  We kept tussling

  He would try to throw me into the table

  And then I would try to throw him

  Until finally we both went slamming into the table

  CRASH!

  The legs on the table crumbled from our weight

  Marcus kept trying to get the upper hand

  But I was not about to let him get on top and land a clean punch

  I felt the hands of a couple guys pulling us apart. “Break it up!” they demanded as they held both me and Marcus down on the ground so we couldn’t fight anymore. I had potato salad smeared all across the left side of my face and Marcus had Mac & Cheese in his hair. My breathing was heavy. Marcus chest was visibly heaving in and out trying to regain his composure. I stood up to my feet with one of the guys from the party still holding me back. Naomi looked furious.

  “Why the hell are you two fighting?” she yelled at both us. Marcus and my eyes locked in on each other. We didn’t say anything, but I knew why we were fighting. We were fighting for all the shit he had taken from me. The house that he was living in should have been my house, the money that he had in his bank account should have been my money, and his bitch had always had been my woman; Naomi, the house, the business, all of it was mine. Brother or no brother, Marcus was going to have to pay for all he had taken from me.

  Naomi

  Sunday Morning

  “Where are you going?” I asked, looking at Marcus spraying on some cologne.

  It was the day after my disastrous birthday party and Marcus hadn’t sad two words to me since he and Jerome fought for whatever reason. I tried calling Jerome and asking him what happened, but he kept sending me to the voicemail. I was sure it had something to do with the kiss I gave Marcus. I should have never kissed Marcus in front of Jerome. I had only kissed him out of spite because I was feeling so happy and so torn apart at the same time. Here Marcus was throwing me a birthday party while he had been secretly fucking me over for the past year. I had encountered a lot of enemies in my life, but I was convinced the biggest enemy of them all was the one I was sleeping next to every night.

  “Out,” Marcus said bluntly.

  “Out where?”

  “Naomi, don’t act like you care about where I’m going. Mind your business.”

  I squinted my eyes to get a good look at the watch that he was wearing and it was clear that he was wearing a eighty-five hundred dollar Movado Parlee watch. I knew the price because I had been shopping for a much cheaper Movado watch for Jerome.

  “Nice watch,” I said slyly, but Marcus didn’t say a word and I didn’t feel like probing him about where he got the money for the watch because I already knew. My only annoyance was that we were like two ships passing in the night who no longer knew each other. Marcus was damn near a ghost to me…he was better off being dead to me.

  My birthday festivities had momentarily stopped my investigation on Marcus, but I was back at it. I was headed out myself because I had traced the address on the bank statements to a mailbox. I hadn’t been in contact with a lawyer just yet because I wanted to talk it over with Jerome first to see if he could give me some insight on what Marcus was doing. I arrived at the post office mail center and found inside the mailbox a stack of envelopes that were from lawyer offices and the IRS addressed to my name only. Why would my name and not the business name be on the mail? My stomach started rumbling with anticipation to open them, but I figured it was best to let Jerome be by my side when I opened them. I was positive they contained nothing but more bad news.

  I arrived in Jerome’s neighborhood and parked around the corner as I always did. I got out the car with the vanilla folder of the bank statements and the stack of mail in my hand. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Jerome about them because I had spent hours analyzing them before I was ready to talk about it. I knocked on the front door and Jerome answered in just a bath towel wrapped around his waist, showing off his tribal tattoos on his arms.

  “Good morning,” he mumbled as I walked into the house.

  “Good morning,” I replied as I tried to kiss him, but he leaned out the way. I did not press him because I was sure he was still mad over the Marcus kiss.

  “How are you?” I asked

  “What do you want Naomi,” Jerome said rubbing his eyes like he was still trying to fully wake up.

  “I got something I need to talk to you about and it can’t wait any longer.”

  “Look, if it’s about the fight, fuck that. It wasn’t the first time we fought and it prolly won’t be the last.”

  “I can care less about that stupid fight,” I said holding up the folder and mail. “Here look at this,” I said handing him the folder and we both took a seat on the sofa.

  “What is all this?” Jerome asked looking over the pages which were highlighted and scribbled on with my notes.

  “Marcus has been stealing,” the revelation rolled off my lips.

  “Stealing how? How much?” Jerome asked looking frantically through the bank statements.

  “All of the money in the expense account looks like it had been taken out and transferred to an external account. I will have to go to the bank Monday morning to see where it was sent to.”

  “How much was in the expensive account?”

  “It should be around four hundred thousand because we used it to buy building supplies and whatever we needed. It’s like our cushion account.

  “Damn! This shit overdrawn by thirty thousand!” Jerome shrieked as he looked at the ending balance.

  “I know. Some of our automatic payments are still coming out of the account.”

  “So what are you going to do?” Jerome asked looking over at me.

  I just shrugged my shoulders. I had been so angry when I found out about the missing money that all my energy was just drained. I didn’t feel like dealing with any of it. Silent tears started rolling down my cheeks as I rested my head on Jerome’s bare shoulder. I had always been the woman in charge and in control. Whenever something went down, I was the one that came in for the rescue, but I felt so defeated. I felt so weak. Two feelings that my nervous system didn’t even know how to process because I never had been a weak woman, never had been a failure; but Marcus was really beating me down.

  “Don’t cry baby,” Jerome said as he put the folder down and turned to hold me and kiss me.

  “I just don’t know what to do. I was all ready to get the divorce papers drawn up, now he hits me with a ton of bricks,” I cried through sniffles.

  “Damn…Marcus always been a shady nigga, but I never thought he would do this to you,” Jerome said as he tightened his embrace.

  “What do I do?” I asked not really expecting an answer. Jerome didn’t say a word. He just took the stack of mail off my lap and started opening and reading them over. After several moments of watching Jerome read the mail and shaking his head like he was in disbelief, I worked up the nerve to ask him what other bad news I had to deal with.

  “What does the letter say?”

  “You don’t even want to know,” he said putting the letter down on the coffee table and picking up another and opening it.

  “Tell me. I’d rather you tell me than for me to read it. I just don’t want to deal with this right
now,” I told him as I watched him reading.

  “Well you’re going to have to deal with this ASAP because this is a garnishment letter,” he said placing the letter in my lap and then picking up the next one. I read over the letter quickly, scanning what it was saying. I was in total disbelief that the garnishment order had been put into effect on my personal accounts, not Marcus’ or the business account but mine.

  Jerome handed me another letter. This time it was from the Law Office of Wilson & Wilson saying that I was being sued by their client Ralph Rodriguez for failure to pay wages and unlawful firing. I knew Ralph…Marcus had fired him, so why was I the only one being sued?

  Jerome handed me another letter

  And it was the same thing…

  Garnishment orders and lawsuits

  My hands started shaking

  My palms started sweating

  How could I have let him do this under my nose?

  How could I have been so trusting of Marcus?

  I had done a lot of things that were not nice…

  …but what did I do to deserve this?

  By the dates on the letters

  Marcus had been fucking me over for at least ten months…

  “Jerome, I need to lie down,” I mumbled out as Jerome opened the last letter.

  “This shit needs to be dealt with, Naomi. Have you checked your personal accounts?”

  “Jerome please, I just need to lie down. I can’t…I can’t… I can’t—” I was feeling the start of a nervous breakdown. If I had been standing I would have probably dropped to the ground and fainted. I felt like I was hyperventilating and I could barely get air in my lungs. My body was so hot that sweat was oozing through my pours at an alarming rate.

  “Nay, just calm down,” Jerome said trying to grab a hold of me, but I pushed him away. I didn’t want to be touched. I didn’t want any of this to be happening. I had put my blood, sweat and tears into making our construction company a profitable business. I had used my parents’ life insurance policy money to start the business. Their memories were engraved in every brick we laid. And for Marcus to have the audacity to try and steal it all from me right under my nose was too much for me to bear.

  I stood up to my feet

  My knees were weak

  Like they were about to give out

  “HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?” I yelled at Jerome

  Jerome just stared at me with deer eyes

  He looked at me like he wished he could make it right

  Like he somehow felt responsible just by being related to Marcus

  “DO YOU KNOW EVERYTHING I’VE DONE TO HELP HIM!?”

  I thought about the times I gave Marcus money

  Twenty grand to help get the student loan people off his back

  When his ass got sick in the hospital with pneumonia and almost died

  I was the one by his side to see him through

  When his mother first got diagnosed with cancer…

  …I was the one that helped with the medical bills

  And I was still making sure her bills were paid every month

  Marcus only cared about himself

  He tried to act like he loved his mother so much

  …but he didn’t

  I knew good and well he was just waiting on her to die to collect the insurance check

  Jerome was trying to tell me to calm down

  But I was yelling at the top of my lungs

  If I had been light skinned my face would’ve been flush red

  “NO! I WON’T CALM DOWN!”

  Suddenly the pace of my breathing picked up

  My chest started feeling tight

  Like I was having a heart attack

  I gripped my chest

  Calm down Naomi

  But I was already falling down to my knees...

  ...Crying uncontrollably

  Jerome

  Sunday Afternoon

  I had to end up giving Naomi a sleeping pill. She was knocked out in my bed snoring. After her panic attack and looking at all the liens, garnishments and lawsuits that Marcus had going on, I couldn’t stop pacing the living room floor trying to figure out what to do next. I was angry that Marcus had gotten away with so much. When we were teenagers he had gotten away with stealing cars and robbing convenience stores, while I ended up in juvenile hall for fighting. Our parents praised him and doubted me. Our parents loved him and hated me.

  I was tired of being looked at as the black sheep of the family while Marcus was looked at like an angel. I was tired of getting the shit end of the stick while Marcus lived lavishly. And most of all, I was tired of being blamed for our father's death when Marcus was the blame for the whole damn thing. He was the one that had stolen my Pop’s car that night and wrecked it. If it wasn’t for Marcus, Pops and I would have never gotten into that fight and he would still be alive.

  A knock at my front door woke me out of my scrambled thoughts and I looked out the window to see Whitney holding a small plastic box in both hands. Shit! What is she doing here? I thought as I looked at my bedroom door where Naomi was laying sound asleep. I quickly walked over to my bedroom door and closed it shut. Whitney rang the doorbell twice and nervousness took over my body, because the last thing I wanted was for Whitney to see Naomi.

  I opened the door.

  Whitney was standing there in some black leggings and an oversized shirt to hide her stomach. She still looked good even with the extra weight gain.

  “What you doing here?” I asked casually, blocking her entrance by leaning my shoulder up against the doorway.

  “Look Jerome, I just stopped by to bring you this,” she said holding up the small plastic container that had a cake inside. “It’s your favorite lemon pudding cake that I made for you.”

  I looked at her sideways.

  “A cake? What you bring me this for?” I asked.

  “I just know you really liked when I used to make this cake for you. I guess you can take it as my apology about your car,” Whitney said with puppy dog eyes.

  I was standing there looking at her trying to figure out her angle. Why was she being so nice? The lemon aroma filled my nostrils and all I wanted was to take a big fat bite out of the cake. Damn she knows what I like. I had been craving some of her home cooked meals, too, because ever since Naomi and me started seeing each other on a regular basis, all we did was eat at restaurants across town.

  “Yeah, well a check would be a better apology, I said snatching the plastic container out of her hand and smelling the cake up close.

  “I hope you like it,” Whitney said like she was a child that was trying to talk her way out of time out. I took a bite of the cake that she had already pre sliced for me, and the soft moist taste melted on my taste buds.

  I cracked a smile.

  “You already know I like it,” I said still smiling and licking my lips. Whitney gave a slight smile and relaxed a little.

  “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she asked. My guard went right back up after she asked that. I knew she had a motive. Whitney tried to step up like she was coming inside, but I held my ground. I wasn’t going to let her even think she had a chance of getting through me. I just hoped Naomi didn’t wake up and start making noise.

  “Nah…Thank you for the cake. It’s appreciated,” I told her, but that wasn’t good enough for her. She slyly looked over my shoulder and seen that the bedroom door was closed. She looked back at me like she wanted to say something…like she wanted to demand that I let her in the house, but that thought quickly left her mind because I was sure she realized that if she acted out, I was going to slam the door right in her face.

  “Okay Jerome, I guess you got company,” she said without hiding her jealousy.

  “Whit, don’t start.”

  “Aye, I’m not starting nothing. I just wanted to bring you your cake to say sorry.”

  “Thank you.”

  Whitney lingered in my doorway a little longer like she was fighting her own tongue
to keep from speaking her mind, but she eventually backed away and started walking towards her car that was in my driveway. I closed the front door and watched her out the front window. She had already gotten in her car and was just sitting in the driveway not moving.

  “Come on Whit, just leave quietly,” I said out loud to myself while peeking through the blinds at her. But as expected, Whitney hopped back out of her car. I thought she was going to come banging on the front door so I was ready for her. I twisted the knob, waiting for her to come knocking so I could push her ass out the doorway, but she didn’t come to the front door. She went right up to the bedroom window and tried to look inside, but luckily I had closed the curtains to keep the light out so Naomi could sleep.

  “Crazy ass,” I said as I watched her, chuckling to myself as she was trying to look in the window, but knowing she couldn’t see shit. She eventually gave up and got back in her car and drove away. I had to admit that my ego was inflated thinking about how much she loved me. I kept eating my piece of cake wishing she had brought me a plate of food too.

  “Damn this cake good,” I said chewing, sitting down on the couch with a smile across my face and temporarily forgetting about all the impending drama Naomi and me had going on. But I knew it was stupid of me to let Whitney keep popping up at my house. I had to figure out a way to keep her from coming around or she would end up messing up my entire plan I had going.

  Marcus

  Sunday Afternoon

  I was on my way to see my lawyer, Michelle. I had been trying to get in contact with her about the money she had pulled from the accounts, but she had a thing about speaking on the phones and asked for me to meet her in person at her house. I pulled up to her two-story brick home and hopped out of my truck. I hadn’t seen Michelle in a few weeks and was actually looking forward to talking to her face to face. I rang the doorbell and waited for Michelle to answer. I needed to get some of my questions answered about the money that was taken out of the expense account. I told her to pull the money out another account, but I didn’t mean for her to drain the account empty. Michelle opened the door in her navy blue, silk house robe and matching house shoes. Her hair was shoulder length and her complexion was the color of the yellow sun.