Four Weddings and a Kiss
Page 18
“She got sick with pneumonia when I was a little girl. I don’t remember much about her, except I can remember her singing to me.”
He remembered his mother singing to him too. “I’m glad you have that memory to carry with you.”
She sighed. “Me too. It was awful lonely sometimes, but Pa taught me everything a girl needed to know. I can shoot better than most men, and I can ride and use a whip. And I can tend to my cattle too. Though they’re so scattered out right now I might never find them all.”
“Do you need me to help you locate them?”
“Maybe one day. There’s enough grass right now. I know they’re out there. I need the house more than anything.”
Katie rubbed her temple. She did that a lot, he’d noticed. “Is your head hurting?”
“Sometimes. When I try too hard to remember things. Especially my pa.”
“Did you see a doctor after the tornado?”
“I ain’t having no doctor poking and prodding me. Why would I need to, anyway?”
“I was just wondering is all. You rub your temples a lot and sometimes your eyes look pained. Does the sunlight hurt them?”
“They hurt sometimes, but it’s just the headaches.” She closed her eyes. And the flicker of the fire cast soft shadows on her features. He’d found himself studying her face more than he thought was good. Sometimes he’d be working and he’d get distracted just watching her.
It wasn’t helping him get the job done any faster and that was for certain.
“What happened to your family, Treb? I’d like to know.”
He closed his eyes. “They had a wagon accident and died.”
“I’m sorry,” Katie gasped. “Were you in the accident? Did you get hurt?”
His throat clamped down and he couldn’t speak for a second. “Nope,” he said at last. “I wasn’t there. Pa and I had had an argument. I was eighteen. He and I had been butting heads over me wanting to see the world and him wanting me to stay on and farm beside him there in the panhandle. I rode off up ahead that morning on our way into town, and when they never showed up, I backtracked and found them.” It still ate at him that he hadn’t been there.
That he was alive and they were dead.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered across the flame, her eyes so full of sorrow for him that they dug into his heart.
“Yeah, I struck out after that and haven’t stopped. Every time I see something amazing, I think of my mother and I tell myself that I’m seeing it for her.” He paused. “It gives me comfort . . . I should have been there for them, Katie. And I wasn’t.”
Katie came out of the tent to sit beside him. “I didn’t mean to open wounds to your heart.”
He’d never spoken of this to anyone, but suddenly he was glad he’d shared it with Katie. It made him feel better . . . like he wasn’t alone. “I’m glad you asked. You’d have liked my mother and my sister. You’d have liked my dad too. He just wanted the best for me. I know that now. But he and I had different dreams. Still, it nearly kills me that I wasn’t there to save them. What kind of son isn’t there for his family?”
She placed her hand on his. Though she had calluses from all the work she did, there was a tenderness to her touch that sent his heart racing.
“You didn’t know when you rode off that you’d never see them alive again. I didn’t know when my pa told me to get under my bed that I’d never see him again either.”
Looking into her caring eyes, he wanted to pull her close like nothing he’d ever wanted. But he didn’t. Instead, he lifted his hand and gently caressed her jaw with his thumb. “You’re more sane than most folks I’ve ever known, Katie. Only God knows when our time is up. When it is, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. I just wish I’d been there. That my last words to my pa hadn’t been words of anger.”
“He was a good pa, right?”
Treb nodded.
“Then he knew, and I’m sure in the end he didn’t hold it against you.”
Treb swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat was lodged tight. His eyes burned. Tears were for women. Still, when one slipped from the corner of his eye, there was relief in it. Somehow what Katie said was true. His pa knew he loved him. Despite the angry words.
“Has time healed your wounds, Treb?”
Her question slammed into him, and he knew he had better think long and hard about his answer. “It’s numbing my pain, Katie. I don’t think the hurt ever goes away. And I don’t reckon I want it to. The hurt tells me they were real, that my love for them wasn’t made-up. It’s been almost ten years for me, and not a day goes by that I don’t have regret about them not being here. I wish it had been me instead.”
“I feel the same way, Treb. Why couldn’t it have been me and not my pa? Or my mother before that? Why am I still here and they aren’t?”
“I guess it just wasn’t our time. But that doesn’t make the regret any less, or the pain any smaller.”
“No, it doesn’t.” She stood and moved back to her bedroll, looking at him across the fire. Her eyes glistened bright with tears in the light of the flames.
“Katie, you’re not crazy,” he said, finally saying what he’d been about to say earlier before she’d started asking him about his family.
“I sure feel like I’m crazy. I feel fuzzy in my head a lot and I can’t remember things very well. And the talking to myself, I thought it would go away but it hasn’t. I—”
“You have symptoms of a concussion, Katie. If that’s the case, then you’ll get better and better. The doc could tell you for sure, but I figure this far along you are probably over the worst of it.”
“You really think so?” The relief was thick in her voice.
“I’m not a doctor but, yeah, that’s what I think. And I know you’re not crazy. The sooner you stop worrying about that, the better.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said. “But if I can’t make myself go into the barn or the house—”
“You will. You’ve been through a lot. Give yourself time.”
“I’ll try,” she said, and the wistfulness in her voice had him wanting to hold her and whisper more reassurance to her. That alone kept his mouth shut.
“Thank you, Treb,” she said softly. “For everything.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, ripping his gaze off of her and pinning it on the flickering flames.
They didn’t say more, just watched the flames. He realized not too much later that Katie was sleeping.
She’d fallen asleep peacefully, talking to him and not to herself.
He smiled as a warm sense of contentment nestled deep inside of him.
It was a dangerous feeling for a drifter like him. A dangerous feeling for certain.
CHAPTER SEVEN
DAYS PASSED, AND HE AND KATIE WORKED. THEY DIDN’T talk about the night around the campfire when they’d spoken of their families. It was as if they’d opened up more than they were comfortable with there under that starry sky with that crackling fire between them. But she did seem to relax some, and there were no more references from her about being crazy.
They got a routine down. He’d work straight through the day, and Katie would fix the meals if he got the supplies out of the barn. He sure hoped that she’d start venturing inside the building soon, but it had been two more weeks, and she’d made no attempt to even stick her head in the door. Her hands still shook if she got a late start on getting the fire going, which didn’t happen often. Sometimes, though, despite his reassurances to her, he wondered if he was building a house for nothing. What good was a house if she couldn’t walk into it?
The canvas structure that he’d built her was helping, and he was glad the idea had come to him. There had been some rain showers since the storm, and he’d retreated to sleep in the barn on those nights. But no storms had come through, and for that he was grateful. Sometimes at night as they sat around the campfire, Katie would ask him to tell her more about the places he’d seen. He liked telling he
r about them and seeing the excitement on her face as he talked. He’d never really had anyone to share stories with since he’d lost his family. He figured relationships got in the way of his plans, and if he ever got close to someone, he would lose them. He didn’t plan on having to deal with that ever again.
His heart had lost all it was going to lose. It ached just thinking about it.
If Katie’s affection for her pistol was any clue to how she felt about the subject, he knew that she understood. She’d lost everything too. The only problem he had was that he’d begun to think more and more about kissing Katie. It had been almost two weeks since that storm when he’d held her close, and try as hard as he could to forget, the memory lingered. The feel of her soft in his arms. The trusting look in her eyes when she’d glanced up at him there in his embrace.
He’d tried to shove the thoughts out of his mind but they’d come charging back, relentless. It was getting so he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.
And sometimes he’d catch her looking at him, and he wondered if she was thinking similar thoughts. But then she’d frown and go back to work.
Just as well. He had places to see and she had a ranch to run.
He was nailing up the last of the interior walls between the three rooms that Katie had decided on. She wanted a house much smaller than the original one, but the rooms were still spacious. He was on the ladder pounding nails when he noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. A man was approaching in a wagon that looked as if it carried something. He glanced toward Katie who was helping hold the frame steady as he nailed it to the floor.
“We have company.”
Katie swung around toward the approaching wagon. “It better not be one of those lily-livered skunks again.”
“Don’t shoot till we find out what he wants. And let me finish pounding these nails before you let go and reach for your gun.” Treb had already decided if he ever met up with the men who’d come calling on Katie and made her feel like she was nothing but a crazy woman who needed her ranch taken from her, he’d make certain they understood to never bother her again. How he was going to do that after he was gone was unclear, but then Katie thought she could take care of herself, and she probably could.
“I haven’t killed one of them yet, so don’t get all worried.”
Chuckling, he slammed the three nails into place, then he climbed down the ladder and set the hammer down. “Good. I told you, folks might stop by if you stopped shooting at them. Might even have some offering to help you.”
She glared at him. “Why do I need them? I have you.”
“Can you just be nice this one time, for me?”
The wagon pulled into the yard and a grizzled, older man drew it to a halt. “Howdy, folks, I got an order of windows for Katie Pearl. Would that be you, ma’am?” He looked warily at Katie as if he expected her to whip out her pistol at any moment.
Katie’s smile bloomed large, and she jumped down from the house’s floor to the driveway. “Yes, that’s me. You brought my windows?”
“Yes, ma’am. Mr. Crandon said to get them out to you as soon as possible.”
“Did you hear, Treb?”
He followed her to the wagon, then reached up to shake the older man’s hand. “Thanks for bringing these out. We’ll put them to good use.”
The man gave a tobacco-stained grin as he climbed down from the rig. “Well, I got to admit I weren’t too sure what I’d find out here. You know, I heard all kinds of things about getting shot at. But you folks are right nice.”
Katie frowned, but Treb placed his arm across her shoulders and pulled her gently to his side. She met his gaze, her face upturned, and Treb suddenly had a desire to kiss her. He swallowed the notion and looked quickly to their guest.
“Katie had reasons for insisting some folks get off her property. Anyone with the right intentions is welcome anytime. Isn’t that right, Katie?”
“True.” Katie paused, measuring the man with her gaze. “I suppose I like company. What’s your name, sir?”
Treb’s heart was racing. What was coming over him?
“Well, Miss, folks call me Dooley.”
“Then, Mr. Dooley, would you stay for dinner if I were to get started fixing it right now? You could still get back to town before nightfall.”
That won her a wide smile from the visitor. Treb dragged his thoughts back to the conversation and away from thoughts of kissing her.
“I’d be mighty honored to share a meal with you folks. Mighty honored. I’ll just help your husband here unload these windows while you’re preparing the meal.”
Katie and Treb both stiffened. Treb dropped his arm from around her shoulder and Katie stepped away.
“Thanks for the help, Dooley,” Treb managed, his heart hammering in his chest something awful. “The name’s Treb. I’m Katie’s hired man. I’m just here building her house for her.”
Dooley looked from him to Katie, rubbed his jaw for a moment, then grinned again. “I guess I just saw the closeness and misread it. Sorry about that. Didn’t mean no disrespect.”
Treb knew he had been out of line placing his arm around Katie and drawing her close. Katie hadn’t spoken up and was just staring at the both of them. “I’ve been working here for almost three weeks,” Treb finally went on. “We’ve become friends so it was my instinct to be protective of Katie when a stranger drove up. It’s my fault for giving you the wrong impression.”
Katie’s brows met as she scrunched her forehead deep in thought. Her fingers twitched a little next to where her pistol usually hung on her hips. But her pistol wasn’t there.
At the moment he thought it was a very good thing. She looked upset.
“I’d be much obliged if you’d help Treb unload those windows, Mr. Dooley,” she said. Then she spun on her boots and strode off toward the barn for supplies. Treb’s mouth was dry as he watched her go. What was she so upset about? He’d fixed the misunderstanding.
He waited to see what she would do when she got to the barn. He prayed she’d be mad enough that she’d go inside.
“She’s a right pretty little filly,” Dooley said beside him. “Kind of reminds me of my sweet Edith Ann, God rest her soul. Got spunk, that one does.”
Treb couldn’t help smiling. “Yes, sir, she does. Spunk enough to fill up Texas, I reckon.” As he spoke, she halted at the barn entrance. Her hands were on her hips as she studied the interior like it was a wall before her. Then she poked her foot across the line and Treb held his breath. “If you’ll excuse me for a minute.” Hurrying forward, he covered the distance in record speed.
“What do you want me to get for you?” Treb asked, coming to a halt beside her—but far enough away not to make Dooley think he’d overstepped his boundaries again.
There was anger and fear and a whole heap of emotion tangled in her eyes when she looked up at him. “I need all the usual stuff. The flour and meal. And some backbone if you see any in there.”
He chuckled, then sobered. “It’ll come, Katie. You made some progress just by thinking about entering the building, so don’t let it beat the dust out of you.”
Her eyes calmed a little. “I guess you’re right.”
Wanting once more to pull her into his arms and whisper that everything would be all right, he clenched his fist and strode inside the barn. What was wrong with him? Why was he suddenly thinking of things he had no business thinking about?
Grabbing a fresh bag of meal, he headed out of the barn, and stalked to the campfire area, his mind reeling. Katie had gone after a chicken, so he set the bag down and went back to unload windows. He had plans for these windows and wanted to get a good look at them.
Plus, he needed to put distance between himself and Katie.
And get a handle on the thoughts pressing a hole into his chest.
They spent an enjoyable afternoon meal with Mr. Dooley. Katie kept having to pull her eyes away from Treb. Ever since Mr. Dooley had assumed they were married, she’d had a de
ep hankering for it to be true.
It pained her something fierce and she wished it weren’t so. Oh, how she wished it weren’t so. They’d spent several long days together and long nights across the fire from each other too. Her heart ached terribly when she thought of how far he’d come on the house, and that within just a few short weeks, he’d be gone. Someday soon he would hop on the horse he’d chosen and ride out of her life on his great adventures.
Her gut twisted at the thought.
She had land and a home, yet she found herself longing for adventure, too, wishing she could see what Treb would see on his travels. Longing to be with him wherever he was going . . .
But she wouldn’t be going anywhere.
“You take care of yourself, little lady,” Dooley said, pausing before climbing up into his wagon. Over lunch, they’d explained a little about what had happened in the tornado because he’d asked. His watchful eyes studied her, and Katie felt concern in them.
“I will.” A powerful lonesomeness swept over her. “You too.”
“That there is a good man.” He nodded toward Treb, who’d already said his farewell and gone back to work. “One worth keeping around, I ’spect.” He winked, tipped his hat, and climbed up into the seat. “My Edith Ann? She had spunk like you, spunk that nothing could knock down for long. You’ll get your feet under you again, Miss Katie. Just push forward through the darkness. There’s always daylight on the other side, thanks to the good Lord and His faithfulness.”
With that, he slapped the reins and set the horse team forward in an arching turn, then off they went down the track. Katie stood with her hand protecting her eyes against the sun as Dooley’s words echoed in her head. “That there is a good man,” he’d said. She could not stop herself from turning to watch Treb with his hammer, building her house.
If only I could keep him.
The wistful thought trickled through her like a sigh, but she cut it off at the pass.