Smoke and Mirrors

by M. Mabie

  “I guess I’ve never noticed it.”

  “I’ll do it tomorrow.” I didn’t have another shift until Wednesday and no side jobs lined up. “You’re off all day, aren’t you?” I turned the lights out as I walked back through the house to my room. I kicked my boots off by my bed and then straightened them.

  “I’m off, but I’ve got some running to do in the morning. So maybe tomorrow afternoon?”

  I lay back on the bed, just like I’d been the other night on my patio, and wished she were there with me again. “I want to see you.”

  “Me too,” she whispered back.

  “The other night...” I began, then stopped, still feeling guilty and selfish for how our night had played out. “You should have been first. I shouldn’t have let you do that.”

  “I wanted to. I wouldn’t change a second of it.” A sweet hum came from her side of the line. “It was perfect.”

  As far as hand jobs went, she was right. She had a magic touch.

  Something instinctual compelled me to ask what she was doing, what she was wearing, but I’d be playing with fire, and it would have been torture to not go down the street and put it out.

  I checked the time, realizing I’d probably woken her up. “Let’s get some sleep,” I said. “Then I can see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. See you tomorrow,” she repeated and yawned. “Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  Smokie came in, spun around twenty times, and then lay down on his bed by the wall. It had been a long hot day, so after I showered, I climbed into my cool sheets and thought. After an hour or so, reliving Friday night, I finally fell asleep.

  THE NEXT MORNING I got a call from Dad. A guy he’d done work for when my parents lived in Wynne wanted some help with a few trees on his property, and I said I’d be happy to help and took his number.

  I liked doing side work and keeping busy, but if this thing with Faith was going to work, I’d need more free time. There was no way I could expect her to make room for me in her life if I was only available every now and then.

  The extra money had always been the biggest incentive because it had given me security when I hadn’t had much else.

  Things were changing, though. The house was nearly in mint condition, so how I spent my money, and how much I needed, could be reevaluated. Spending the extra cash where I had the last few years suddenly felt off. My priorities were shifting fast, but I welcomed it.

  “Ian, your mother, and I will be up Sunday morning. Julie and Brent can’t make it, so we’re just going to drive down for the day and come home.”

  “That’s fine.” I was just glad they were coming. As each day passed, I got more excited to have everyone over. “It’ll be a good one. Supposed to be hot this weekend.”

  My mom shouted from somewhere within earshot of my dad’s phone. “Is that Aaron? Tell him to text me what we’re supposed to bring. I’ve asked him twice.”

  “Did you hear that?”

  “I don’t know what to tell her, Dad,” I explained. “It’s burgers and hot dogs. It doesn’t matter. Tell her to bring whatever she wants.”

  “He says potato salad, Carrie,” he called back to my mother.

  She answered, “Well, why didn’t he just tell me that?”

  “Son, sometimes you just have to make a decision and stick to it. Pick the potato salad. Sell the house or keep it. Just make up your mind.”

  He was right. “Potato salad sounds fine, and Faith is coming Sunday.”

  “I’ll be damned. Maybe you can make up your mind after all.” He chuckled. “We’ll see you this weekend. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Bye, Dad.”

  I had some time to kill, so I mowed the yard. Finally around noon, Faith’s car came back down the street. I gave it an hour before I loaded a few tools and Smokie into the truck and drove down the road.

  Before I was even halfway up their sidewalk, I heard Delaney yell.

  “Mom, Smokie is outside. Can I go out?” A second later she was flying out the door. “Hi, Smokie. Hi, boy.” He went to her and rolled over for a belly rub right there under her carport. Faith stood at the door and her face held a funny smile as she looked from Delaney to the dog to me.

  “Hi,” she said around the lopsided grin. “Is this weird for you?” She nodded to my dog and her daughter.

  “Not if it’s not for them.”

  She laughed quietly and held the screen open.

  “What are you doing here?” Delaney asked, and then suddenly it was kind of strange, and I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.

  Faith seemed fine with letting me field the question though, and her chin tipped forward as she waited for my reply. I liked the playful challenge in her eyes and how calm she looked.

  “Well, we came down to see you guys, and I’m going to take a look at your sink. See if I can fix it.”

  Delaney tucked her legs underneath herself and got cozy to love on my sprawled out dog. It was like he’d never been shown affection his whole life and she was playing right into it.

  “Aaron, we have four sinks.” She ticked them off on her stubby fingers. “One in the kitchen, one in the bathroom, and two in the big bathroom. You better look at ‘em all. We’re going to play out here.” She scratched under the dog’s arm and his paw shot up, making her giggle. “Look, a high-five. You can high-five, Smokie.” She tried the same technique and reflexively it worked just the same. She roared with laughter, surprised by the trick.

  “I better head in then and get to work. Can you watch him for me?”

  “I’ll watch him,” Delaney assured me. “I won’t let him run away.”

  “He won’t take off, will he?” Faith asked, as I got closer to the door.

  I glanced over my shoulder to the pair on the concrete. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

  “Delaney, stay under the carport. I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay, Mom. We’ll stay right here.”

  Faith stepped backwards into the house and let me by, hanging close to the door.

  “It’s funny. I never heard the drip until you said something about it. Now, it’s all I hear.”

  There were boxes and bags in the living room, but Di was moving in with Darrell, which explained the upheaval.

  “Sorry about the mess,” she said near the doorway as I set my toolbox on the counter.

  “I’ve seen worse. You’d be surprised what I’ve seen going into other peoples’ houses. Whether for a fire or a renovation, the places I usually visit have had better days.”

  “Not even going to lie, I’m not going to miss all her angels.” She pointed to one on the wall above my head. “She has a problem.”

  It made me laugh because my mom was the same way. “My mom had a thing for cows. It took me a year to thin the herd after they left.”

  While she chuckled, I reached for the angel and handed it to her.

  “Thanks.”

  “That’s what I’m here for.”

  She took it to the front room and did something with it, so I got to work. I messed with the faucet and right away found the problem. The next time my head came up, she was beside me. Up on her toes she kissed me, swift and sweet.

  “There. That’s better.” She winked and I was a goner. “I’m going to hang out there with them. I don’t like Del outside by herself.”

  Listening to them talk and argue and laugh through the screen door was the best sound to work to. They were a pair and I’d do anything to be around for more times like that.

  The repair didn’t take long, and after replacing an O-ring that luckily I had on hand, and giving everything a good tightening, the drip was gone. I looked at the other sinks, as per Delaney’s request, and they were all fine. Packing up the tools I’d used, I heard the front door open and it was Di.

  “Hey there,” I said.

  “Hey, sweetie. What are you doing here?” Her voice had this welcoming quality that only came from years of being friendly to everyone,
all day, every day. I’d never seen her cross or ill tempered with anyone, and she came right over to see what was up.

  “The sink had a drip.”

  Her brow bunched. “Hmm. I never noticed.”

  “How was the derby?” I closed and latched the toolbox.

  “Oh, fine. I guess. I never understood why they’d smash up a running car like that. Seems wasteful to me.” She had a point, but before I could agree, she knocked me in the shoulder. “I have a bone to pick with you.” Di looked around me toward the carport where her granddaughter was giggling at the top of her lungs.

  Had I done something wrong? Was Di not okay with us seeing each other? It didn’t seem likely, but I couldn’t think of any other issue the woman would have with me.

  My chest pounded.

  Showing mercy, she went on. “Faith says your pork chops are better than mine.”

  Relief. My hand found my stomach catching her joke where it hit me. “Pick that bone with my dad. It’s his recipe.”

  In a motherly way, she leaned into me and squeezed my bicep. “Well, Faith was impressed and had a good time.” There was a warm glow in her eyes, and I noticed they were the same color as Delaney’s. “So this pool party. Honey, what can I bring?”

  I had a feeling this was going to become a recurring question over the next week, but I didn’t hesitate. “Macaroni and cheese.”

  Her mouth pitched to the side and then she snapped her fingers. “I have a good recipe for that. I can make it in my Crock-Pot. That’s what I’ll bring.”

  “Tell your new roommate no bibs in my pool.”

  She laughed, and we both spun toward the door when it flew open.

  “Aaron! Hi, Gramma. Aaron, Mom said I can ride my bike. Can you and Smokie go with us?”

  I’d been wishing for a good excuse not to leave. “Sure we can. I think I’ve even got a leash in the truck.”

  “Yes.” She pumped her fist in the air. “I’ll go get my knee pads. I fall down sometimes.” She zoomed past us, off to her room, and we walked outside.

  “I think I heard a yes in there,” Faith alleged, reaching to take the pink and blue bike down off the rack where they kept it for more room to park.

  I put my tools down and helped her. Setting it on the ground, I kicked out the stand.

  “I bet this is exactly what you wanted to do on your day off. Be a plumber and go on a walk with a four-year-old.”

  “I’m having a good time.” It sure as hell beat any alternative.

  Her expression said bullshit. “Mom, do you need me for anything?”

  She waved her off from the door. “No, sweetie. You guys go have fun. I’m almost done.”

  Delaney rushed past her legs, back out to us and her furry friend. “Let’s go. We can go all the way up to the school park, right?” She looked at Faith, who then looked at me. The little girl’s eyes followed her mom’s.

  “I don’t care. We can go wherever you want.”

  “You might regret that,” Faith said under her breath, squinting.

  Delaney didn’t waste any time, but she waited for us at the end of the driveway as I got Smokie’s leash.

  “Don’t get too far ahead of us,” Faith hollered as the little girl pedaled down the sidewalk. “Seriously, though. Thank you for fixing my sink. I’d buy you pizza tonight at that new place we talked about, but I try to spend my days off with Delaney when I can. Especially in the summer.”

  “She doesn’t like pizza?” If that was the deal breaker, then skip it. I’d eat anything.

  “No, she loves it, but I meant like a date.”

  My palm twitched, wanting to put her hand in mine. “Well, we can do that sometime, too, but I wouldn’t mind it if we all go.”

  As we caught up to Delaney, I stared ahead to where she waited for us at the corner.

  Faith asked, “You wouldn’t?”

  “If she’s okay with it, and you’re okay with it. Then yeah. I told you. We’ll figure it out as we go.”

  We turned south and headed down the lane in the street since there wasn’t a sidewalk.

  “Okay, but Aaron, it’s just that, if this doesn’t work out it might be hard to explain to her. You know?”

  I didn’t like where that was going, and the mention of us ending made my neck tense.

  “If you’re already planning how this isn’t going to work, then it most likely won’t. I know you have to think ahead. I get that. I’m just saying I’d rather you consider this not ending more often than not. And, if that’s the case, we’re all going to have to eat pizza together at some point. Might as well be tonight, and I’m buying.”

  I switched Smokie’s leash to the other hand, and she immediately laced her fingers with mine. I fucking loved when she made moves to get closer to me. Big or small, it didn’t matter. Closer was closer, and closer was always better.

  “Why are you buying pizza? You fixed my sink.”

  I stopped for a second and glanced at her, hoping to convey I was serious. “Faith, you know what you did. My ego won’t let me let you pay for anything—or even drive for that matter. At least not until I pay my debt back for Friday night.” We were talking in code, but she knew what I meant, and that’s just how it was.

  We started down another street together. “You don’t owe me anything, but I can’t turn down free pizza, and after this walk, I’ll probably eat one all by myself.”

  She hadn’t been joking either. I bet we walked five clicks before Delaney led us to the park at the school. Faith and I sat on a bench and watched her go down the slide three hundred times. Smokie would chase her to the ladder, and then she’d climb and go down again.

  “Do you ever want kids?” Faith asked, and it felt more like one of the old hypothetical questions from our youth than a question a woman would ask a man before their second almost date.

  “Yeah,” I told her truthfully. “I always planned on it. I didn’t think about it too much when I was younger, but then my sister had Ian and my friends started them.” She had Delaney. “It feels like the natural thing to do. I like kids. Babies freak me out a little because they’re so tiny, but that’s probably something you get used to the more you’re around them.” I loved how she sat in the middle of the bench beside me and not on the opposite end, but I kept my hands to myself. “What about you. Do you want more?”

  She swayed as she thought. “I think so. I was an only child and always wanted a brother or a sister to play with. Delaney would be a great sibling.” Her leg bobbed as she talked, and her hands held tight to the edge of the metal seat. “But it’s hard work. I had help from my mom with Del, but I don’t know if I’d make it through everything again by myself, and it wouldn’t be fair to a baby or Delaney.”

  She wouldn’t be doing it alone again.

  Lately, guilt had begun to eat me from the inside out for not stepping up sooner.

  Why had I waited so long again? I’d wanted to be there for Faith since the day I returned home. Four damn years of watching and waiting, trying to help where I could. Possibly, I’d rationalized it to feel like I was staying out of her way.

  What she’d needed was a better friend, a partner. Someone she chose back, not out of default or necessity. She deserved to be with someone she not only needed but wanted.

  I’d failed us both that way, but I could do better. I could be honest with her and make up for lost time. The time for being patient and speculating was done.

  Simple as it was, I needed Faith. Wanted her and wanted for her. Her happiness. Her safety. Her comfort.

  The better man in me wanted her satisfied in every way a man should satisfy a woman. Wanted her pleasure. Wanted to be the name on her lips and the voice in her ear telling her how precious she was. Wanted to see myself in her eyes before they fell shut each night and again when they opened at the start of every day.

  “I hope I’m as good of a father as you are a mother—when the time comes.”

  Her eyes locked on mine, and she replied quickly. �
�You will be.”

  God, she was beautiful.

  Physically, I kept my distance—for the time. We were in a playground, and Delaney was always watching. When it came to times like that, I’d always let her lead. It wasn’t appropriate to do what I wanted, but I had to let her know it was on my mind.

  I kept my voice low and held her gaze. “Sometimes it’s everything I can do to not kiss you.”

  She inhaled and exhaled. “Me too.”

  I stretched my arm over the back of the bench and she slowly sank into my side. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

  “Are you ready now?” We both knew what we were saying, even though the words were plain and lacked the romance due to it.

  “I’m ready when you are.”

  Delaney swung off the monkey bars and ran over to Smokie, who’d tired out and was lying in the shade between us and her. “Del, are you getting hungry?”

  She nodded animatedly and wiped her sweaty blond waves out of her face. “Yeah, and thirsty too.”

  “Well, get your bike and we’ll head back. What sounds good?” Faith asked as she stood and stretched. Her ass was made for the shorts she was wearing and I stored the image for another time.

  “We should have pizza,” Delaney announced.

  I climbed to my feet, feeling hungry myself. Faith tittered and shoved her shoulder into my ribs. “I guess it’s unanimous. We’re getting pizza.”

  We dropped Smokie off at my house on the way back to theirs, and although we took Faith’s car—because it was easier since the car seat was in it—she let me drive.

  On the way out of town, we met my cousin Sunny at a stop sign and she gave me a thumbs-up. It might have been because I let her go first, but odds were it was because I was with them.

  The three of us talked and joked while we ate. It was the best pizza I’d ever had.

  Chapter Eighteen

  FAITH

  Me: Does this look bad? I’m freaking.

  I snapped a quick photo of myself wearing a two-piece in the mirror and sent it to the group message. I’d tried it on like six times that week. Sometimes I felt great in it and other times I felt like a lumpy wad of ass and flab. Sometimes all within the span of mere minutes.