Even When I'm Gone (Stay With Me series Book 2)

by Nicole Fiorina

  He took in a deep breath and stretched out his fingers at his side. “Alone, and the world shunned them to their darkness. And the world cries selfishly at their wake because the victim decided to find peace when everyone else tossed them into quicksand during a sandstorm. The world stands over their grave, spitting words like selfish … and ‘what about their family and friends?’ and we’re back to square one, thinking about how the death of the victim affects us.”

  “Are you saying it’s okay to take your own life?”

  “No, Mia,” he calmed and pulled my hand to his chest. “I’m saying if we showed more compassion and understanding, threw away the molds, boxes, and social status, it would never have to lead to that in the first place.” His eyes locked on mine, and the wheels turned in his head. “Now tell me, what did Scott want?”

  “Time. He’s going through something and needs me tonight.”

  “Is there something I should know about?”

  “Ethan has no one, Ollie … except for me. I don’t exactly know what has him so messed up right now, but he’s only acted like this whenever a suicide had gone down. I’m sure seeing the bodies and taking the reports is enough to break someone.” If anyone could understand, Ollie would.

  Ollie nodded at my side, and we picked up in a walk. “Ace, Scott. A fucking guilt trip,” he mumbled to no one and turned to face me, “I’m not your bloody owner, love. You do as you wish. You want to spend the night with another man? Go ahead, I’m not angry about it. I trust you. Will I be waiting for your return? Abso-fucking-lutely. Will I get you off before you go? Hell. Yes. I refuse to allow you to run off with Scott needy and without my cum inside you.”

  My eyes bulged. “Ollie!”

  During lunch, Lynch made an announcement over the intercom about another vigil held for a total of four lives stolen from Dolor: Livy from over a year ago, Haden, Chad, and now William.

  Zeke tapped his finger on the table to get our attention. I miss Livy, he signed.

  Tell us about her, Ollie signed back before grabbing my hand and falling back into his chair, keeping his attention on Zeke.

  Strawberry-blonde hair, Zeke’s lip twitched as his hands moved, Sweet, funny, Tommy and Livy. Big blue eyes. She was nice to me but didn’t take no for an answer like Mia.

  “She sounds like a nice girl. Someone hard to forget,” I said through a chuckle.

  Tommy loved her. She said it was Tommy’s baby, Zeke signed. His hands dropped down, and we all waited to see what would come next—but nothing. That was where Zeke wanted to end his story. He picked up a roll and bit into it.

  Ollie snapped his finger, bringing Zeke’s eyes back to him. “Livy and her baby are living in your heart. Once a soul touches you, it’s a part of you forever. Find comfort in that.”

  Zeke’s eyes snapped wide, and the roll dropped over his tray. What about Tommy? He was good. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. Tommy’s alone in a prison cell. Tommy was nice to me. My brother. Tommy is my brother.

  A tear rolled down Zeke’s cheek, and I froze under his confession.

  “No,” Ollie shook his head and pulled up his hands, signing and speaking eagerly. “Blood or spirit?”

  Zeke’s eyes went frantic, and he pushed his tray forward angrily.

  Ollie pounded his fist over the table to collect his attention. “Blood or spirit, Zeke?”

  Zeke’s hands moved fluidly yet violently.

  I looked over to Ollie whose expression transformed with each movement of Zeke’s hands. “I can’t keep up. What is he saying?”

  “How is he your brother? Why haven’t you told me this?” Ollie said through gritted teeth.

  My eyes snapped back to Zeke, whose hands and features were hot, brown curly hair bouncing as he moved. “He came for me. He fell in love. Now he’s locked away, and I’m stuck here forever. I can’t help him. He needs me, and I can’t help him. I couldn’t save Livy. I was supposed to look after her. I was supposed to protect her. He said, don’t tell anyone I’m his brother, or they would come after me next.”

  “Bloody, hell,” Ollie rubbed over his forehead, “You can trust me. I’m your family,” Ollie insisted. “We’re family. I’m your brother, too … in spirit. When we leave here, I promise to do everything in my power to free Tommy. Do you understand?”

  Zeke nodded. Zeke understood, but the ability for me to catch up seemed impossible.

  Later that evening, Ollie and I walked down the hill toward the vigil. Red, yellow, and orange painted across the sky as the sun simmered. The crowd forming the circle wasn’t nearly as large as the last one. People had lost interest in caring for others.

  Ethan stood in the same place. His hands hid behind his back, and we exchanged nods.

  Ollie stood behind me. The mere touch of his fingertips against mine reminded me he was always within reach. The circle was silent, but Ollie’s emotions shouted within him, illuminating like the sunset above. He dropped his forehead to the back of my head, whispering a prayer to himself. His words persuaded my eyes to close. His words wrapped a bubble around us, protecting us from the outside world. His words were the cause of the shortage of breath and my flickering pulse.

  Ollie prayed for Zeke. He prayed for souls, for the lost and confused, and the selfish. Ollie prayed for love to prevail, hindsight to come forth, and the close-minded to blur their lines. He prayed to no one and everyone, believing in the higher power, whoever or whatever it may be. He prayed for Ethan, for me, for himself. Everyone Ollie’s eyes came across, and each person who hadn’t had the opportunity to meet him has been prayed for.

  He lifted his forehead from mine and sealed his prayer with a kiss to the back of my head. I scanned the circle. Bodies relaxed and tears subsided, and Ollie threaded his fingers into mine. “Let’s go, love.”

  Our feet landed on the last step of the stairs as we retreated back to our dorm. “What do you believe in?” I asked.

  “I believe in a lot of things.” Ollie smiled. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

  “Did you go to church? You know, before Dolor?”

  Our pace was slow as we climbed the stairs, falling back behind the crowd.

  “Why would I need to go to church? A building is manmade. I’m the creation of God. Our body is the closest thing we have to the eternal light, not a bloody building. I have the power to pray when and where I want. God hears me no matter where I am. No one can take that away from me. But a building? A building can be destroyed, knocked down, or turned into a McDonalds if the city permits it.”

  “You believe in God,” I concluded with a nod.

  Ollie licked his lips. “Remember the story A Thousand Years Apart? The one I read to you at the hospital?”

  “Yeah. Something about an eternal light.”

  Ollie nodded. “That’s one of many I believe in, but what about you, love? Are you going to tell me a story on how God failed you? Or are you going to tell me a story on how our creator gave you strength to get through?”

  Suddenly, I’d felt ashamed. “I don’t know what to believe.”

  Ollie and I reached the top of the stairs when he stopped and faced me. “If you believe in nothing, then that is what you live for. And living for nothing is a waste, wouldn’t you say?”

  “I hope our children take after you.”

  We fell back into step. “How many?” Ollie searched with a smile.

  “Well let’s see, how many croissants have you surprised me with?”

  “Two, but I want three, so I owe you one.”

  Everyone seemed to be lost in a daze in the community bathroom. A place where Jake usually sang, Bria normally whined, and chatter usually filled the background noise. The only sound tonight was the water, the curtain swinging back and forth against the rod, and toilets flushing. Students moved at the same pace as the rising humidity.

  It
was the same place I’d first met Ollie. ‘Hi’s’ and smiles had happened in this very room—among other things: glances, a handshake, broken mirrors, attachment, sacred moments, sweet love, Christmas kisses, laughs, and tears. This bathroom held every pivotal moment in our relationship.

  The tiny opening in the shower stall Ollie occupied revealed the shape of him. The dip at his lower back and his cute ass. He turned under the water, and his tattooed birds flew across the surface of his skin. Only half of him showed, and my eyes traveled over every crevice of his chest, stomach, and prominent lines leading to places I’ve visited, and which I was lucky to have for the rest of my life.

  This man was my fiancé.

  He chose me, and I’d said it before, and I would say it again and again … I’ll never fucking understand it.

  Ollie tilted his head, and green eyes peered back at me from the small opening, and he motioned me over with the come-hither finger. My cheeks heated. I jumped down off the counter and made my way toward him before pushing my head through the curtain.

  “Are you watching me, love?” Ollie whispered, his hand washing over the length of him.

  I just showered, and I was wet all over again.

  My gaze roamed over him. Yes, I was, and I’d gladly watch him shower, dress, sleep, eat, make love to me, everything. “Are you okay with that?” I asked, and I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting the urge to touch his skin.

  “I need your eyes on me, you know this,” a grin spread across his face as he turned his back to me to rinse off, “Just wanted to make sure.” Tease. Ollie turned off the water, and I threw him his towel, and he rubbed it over his hair. “You sure Scott needs you?”

  The way his half hard-on stood and my core thumped second-guessed my entire night. “I can’t talk to you like this,” I breathed and closed the curtain shut. Ollie laughed while my back hit the tile, and I crossed my arms, waiting for him to come out.

  We rushed out of the bathroom and down the hall, laughing until we made it behind closed doors and inside our little heaven we created. Mouths crashed as Ollie stripped off my clothes in a frenzy. “Mia, I’m not playing around,” he muttered between kisses, “We’re making sweet love, and you’re staying with me until I fall asleep.”

  I nodded, and our lips collided once more.

  Over and over and over again.

  It took forever for Ollie to fall asleep. He refused to unlatch from me and to be honest, I didn’t want him to. But Ethan needed me.

  I slipped away from Ollie’s hold and found my clothes in the dark. My need to kiss him outweighed the chance of him waking up and begging me not to go. “I love you,” I whispered before pulling away. Ollie didn’t stir. He never did. Sound asleep on his side, Ollie’s arm crossed over the mattress where my body should be.

  The black hoodie engulfed me, but it was warm, and it was Ollie’s. It read, “Poetic.” Somehow, he had gotten another one and said this one was mine now.

  Once the door closed lightly behind me, I turned my attention down the hall to where Ethan waited.

  “Took you long enough.” Ethan fell into a walk in my direction.

  Together, we walked silently through the creepy campus until we got to Lynch’s office. Ethan grabbed the ring from his belt and sifted through the keys. “Only the student files,” he coached me while jiggling the door open. “That’s it.”

  “Aye, aye, Captain.”

  The door creaked open, and if Ethan weren’t here, I’d swear I still wouldn’t be the only one in the room. Yes, I was the girl who thought ghosts were real, but I’d never been afraid of them. There were darker things in this world to be scared of, much more wicked than a spirit—something that could physically touch you.

  “Jett?” Ethan interrupted my thoughts. My eyes snapped over to him, standing behind the desk with a flashlight in his hand. “Let’s get this over with, yeah?”

  “Right.” I walked around the desk and crouched down in front of him. “Flashlight?” I held out my hand.

  Ethan exhaled behind me and dropped it into my hand. I put the sucker between my teeth, and filtered through the files. “Whas oos las aai?”

  “What?” he chuckled.

  I grabbed the flashlight out of my mouth. “What’s Jude’s last name?”

  “Hell if I know.”

  My fingers touched over every passing manila folder. Every familiar name I came across, I pulled out and handed it over to Ethan behind me. Madilyn. Brianna. Tyler. My finger touched over Oliver Masters and there was a skip in my heart.

  I trust Ollie, and seeing his file would be wrong, I chanted over and over in my head. Sucking in my lips, I flipped past until my eyes landed on Jake, then Jude. “Jackpot.”

  “Why do you need all these?” Ethan asked after I crawled back to my feet.

  “Because everyone is a suspect.” I grabbed the folders from him and fell back into Lynch’s leather desk chair. Ethan pulled the other chair up beside me, and we got to work.

  “What exactly am I looking for?” Ethan asked as I handed him his first file.

  “Anything that screams stalker, stabber, or cat mutilator.”

  “You do realize where we are?”

  My eyes slid to him, and his attention was consumed by the papers and the long night ahead of us.

  Lingering too long in Jake’s file, an hour passed without so much as a hint in the right direction. After learning about his asshole father and criticizing mom, the only realization that hit me was the fact I may turn into a serial killer when I’d leave here. “This is pointless.”

  “No, I think I got something,” Ethan leaned over, and I shone the flashlight over the file, “Jude’s in for murder.”

  “Knew it,” I pulled the file from his hand and took a closer look. My eyes scanned over the details of the car crash Jude had been involved in. My hands shook and my eyes burned at what I was seeing. “For driving while intoxicated … ” my hand flew to my mouth, and I closed my eyes. “He killed his girlfriend, Ethan.” I shoved the papers to his lap. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

  “Seriously?”

  I curled over and rested my head between my legs. “Could you imagine?” I shook my head, “Shit, Ollie called it. He knew Jude couldn’t do something like that. I was so wrong about him.”

  “Jett, don’t feel sorry for that wanker.”

  “I do, I can’t help it. It could have easily been anyone. I can’t tell you how many times I drove while drunk off my ass, not once thinking about anyone else. Anything could have happened, Ethan. I was so fucking stupid. No wonder Jude acts like that. He’s punishing himself. Holy shit, he’s turned off his switch … ” I continued to ramble with my head between my legs and tears on the verge of falling.

  Ethan’s hand landed over my back. “Listen, I’d love to make you feel better, but we don’t have time for this. Pull yourself together.”

  Taking in a deep breath, I straightened my back. Jude couldn’t be the prankster. “You’re right,” I wiped my eye, “give me the next file.”

  Ethan dropped the next one in my lap, which read Madilyn Wyser—also known as Maddie. I skimmed my finger over her description. Black hair? “Should say brown hair … ” I mumbled to myself. “They even got the height wrong, stupid wankers,”—Ethan chuckled at my side— “Birth mom deceased in childbirth, father gave her up for adoption. Foster home to foster home … ” I continued to ramble. “Whoa, listen to this,” I elbowed Ethan, “Mixed delusional disorder … see notes for more,” my finger ran down the page before I turned to the next, “Here we go, Madilyn is high functioning individual suffering from mixed delusional disorder: erotomanic, grandiose, and jealous … stalking, obsessive behavior, extreme sense of self-worth, and power … Madilyn scored higher than me in testing.”

  My eyes bounced from the paper to Ethan. “Not to have a big fucking head, but I’m brilliant
. I’ve never met anyone who scored higher than me.”

  “Looks like you’ve met your match,” Ethan massaged the top of my head, “Focus.”

  “Right,” I dropped my head forward and threw my palms in the air, “It has to be her. This is the perfect cocktail to create a prankster. What if she’s in love with Ollie and believes Ollie is in love with her too? What if this is some delusion she has in her head, and I’m the one obstacle standing in her way?”

  Ethan flipped the folder closed in his lap. “It’s a start, but I don’t understand what everyone sees in the bloke.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Do you really want to know?”

  “Nope,” he shoved the folder back in the drawer, “but we finally have a lead.”

  Finally.

  Months of pranks, and it had been Maddie all along.

  “That’s what it feels like,” I whispered as Ethan and I walked back to my wing at nearly four in the morning.

  “What’s that?” Ethan paused in the middle of the hall.

  “That’s what the note said after she shoved me in the closet, ‘That’s what it feels like,’ What did she mean? Like being alone?”

  Ethan raised a brow and shook his head. “I don’t know, Jett, but it’s late. You need to rest. You should go back to Ollie.”

  “But you were looking forward to hanging out,” I pointed out. This entire time Ethan had rushed me to finish, and now we were standing in the middle of the hallway, and he decided it was too late?

  “Who are we kidding? You don’t belong with me or anyone else for that matter. You should be with Masters. Go back to him. It’s fine. Maybe I got what I needed from this time we did get to spend together.”

  “You sure?” I asked, begging to hear the three-letter word. As much as I loved being around Ethan, all I wanted to do was sink beside Ollie, close my eyes, and allow sleep to take me.

  “Yeah,” he grabbed my hand, “I’ll see you in a little while.” He squeezed my hand and forced a smile.

  Ethan and I said our goodbye’s before I entered Ollie’s room. It was dark, and he hadn’t moved, still in the same place I’d left him. His chaotic brown hair stuck up as he laid on his side. Peeling off my hoodie, boots, and jeans, I admired his slightly parted lips as he slept lost in a dream, most likely thinking about us under the stars or strolling down the boardwalk. My lips broke out into a smile, and I sank in the bed beside him.