Good Girls Don't Kiss and Tell

by Codi Gary

  She turned away from him and pressed the elevator button. As she stepped inside, she said loud enough for the people crowding around the room to hear, “At least this part of your book is accurate. You don’t get the girl.”

  The doors closed, and Eric stood staring, aware that everyone around him was whispering, but he didn’t care. He was too busy thinking that if he’d only told Gracie…

  Suddenly, his head snapped up, and he went after her. Taking the stairs, he ran down them, determined to catch her.

  For a split second, her dramatics had made him remorseful, but that was all they were. He’d written a damn good book, a funny book, and just because he’d gotten the inspiration for it from living his whole life in Rock Canyon did not mean that the book was about her or anyone else.

  She just wanted an excuse to run.

  * * *

  Gracie dashed at the tears on her cheeks as she stormed out onto the street. She held up her hand, realizing she’d left her jacket upstairs as the bitter cold air hit her skin. Taxi after taxi drove by, and she stomped her foot angrily.

  “Come on!”

  The door opened behind her, and she turned to find Eric, sweating and breathing so hard, it looked as though he was blowing fire.

  By the thunderous expression on his face, maybe he was.

  “Was that fun for you? Humiliating me in front of a room full of strangers?” he asked.

  She tilted her chin up to counteract the twinge of guilt. “You brought me to a party where you knew people were going to laugh at me behind my back.”

  “No, I didn’t! I wanted to be near you. Is that so crazy?”

  “Actually, it is when you think I am a ‘ditzy, arrogant litt—’”

  “Will you stop quoting the fucking book?” he snarled. “God, it’s not you, okay? I wrote that book for a year! I finished it over six months ago and have been cleaning it up with Neal. It was a release for me, but it wasn’t about you, it was about me and the way I felt.” He ran his hands over his head, and she watched him, the anguish that twisted his face. “It’s all bullshit. I wrote the column as an outlet, a way to laugh about our lives and the things the people in town did, but the book was about me. It was about how I see myself. And yeah, I might have used all of you for inspiration—”

  “Right, so none of those situations were about me?”

  He stopped pacing and clenched his fists. “Fine. You drove me crazy, all right? For years, you would flirt with me, and I’d end up feeling two inches by the time I saw you hooking up with some new guy. Fuck, Gracie, I’ve been into you since you were barely legal, and you treated me like I was dirt. So, yeah, maybe it was a little bit about making me feel better, but it wasn’t to hurt you. I wrote the book for me, and when I got the idea to shop it, I decided to change all the names, the town name, even the damn column. I picked out a pen name, just so nobody would connect the dots.”

  “Then why bring me here? Huh? If you thought you were covering your tracks so well, why even tell me about who you were?”

  She waited for him to answer, her arms crossed over her chest like a shield.

  His dark eyes met hers with so much pain, she almost buckled. Almost reached for him. “Because even though I kept telling myself to move on, I wanted to be close to you. I wanted to show you how good we could be together if you just stopped being so scared.”

  Fury sizzled through her arms and legs, her palm itching to slap him. How dare he turn this around on her?

  “No, no! You do not get to do that! I may have been a bitch in the past, and I have made a lot of mistakes, but you weren’t this innocent guy who kept handing me his heart and getting rejected. You were an ass! There were times you were so rude to me that I wanted to smack that smug look off your face. And you expected me to trust you after that? Well, guess what? I did trust you, and what do I get for it? Standing on a New York City sidewalk, screaming at you and crying because I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.”

  She could feel her nose running, but she didn’t have any tissue. Her eyes were probably black with mascara tracks, but she was beyond caring. She had to get this out. Needed to.

  “Over the last month, I’ve seen a side of you that empathizes, that can be there for other people because you’re just a good guy. I regretted hurting that man, the one who took care of me when I was sick and held me when I cried and who I thought…who I imagined more with. But after reading what you wrote, I have no idea who you are. Are you the asshole or the nice guy?”

  He reached out to her, and she stepped back. “No. Not this time. You don’t get to make me cry and then make me feel better again. You called me, or I’m sorry, ‘Suzie,’ a cold woman who kept men at a distance.”

  “It wasn’t you, it was just a character,” he growled, his frustration clear.

  “The point is, I let my guard down with you, for the first time, and I should have known better.”

  She turned her back on him and waved at another taxi coming down the street, only to be spun around. His hands held her shoulders firmly as he bent over her.

  “I’m sorry, Gracie. I didn’t mean to hurt you in any way. I had so many feelings inside me, and I needed somewhere to put them. I swear, the character wasn’t you, but maybe you’re right. All the frustration and resentment was about you and how I felt. But this last month, I’ve seen you in a new light too, you know? I started to think that all the misconceptions and misunderstandings were a thing of the past and we were finally getting somewhere good.”

  He let her go so fast, she nearly stumbled. “But at the first perceived infraction, you blow up and cause a scene. Then you run. Because that’s what you’re good at, right? You said so yourself. Love them and leave them.”

  He took another step back, and she felt the distance between them like miles of bad road.

  “When you come down from this and look at it from my side, I hope you realize that I’ve been honest. And that although I’ve made mistakes, this wasn’t a deal breaker.”

  He put his hand on the door and gave her one last long look.

  “Because I love you, Gracie Louise McAllister. Always have. Always will.”

  She didn’t even hear the cab pull up behind her until he honked, she was so busy staring into the building as he disappeared. When the cabbie honked again, she climbed into the backseat, getting angrier by the minute.

  How dare he drop the L bomb in the middle of a fight! Of all the conniving, sneaky, underhanded—

  “Where to, miss?” the cabbie asked.

  Gracie told him the hotel’s name, but when Eric got in, she wouldn’t be there. She needed to think.

  Which was something she couldn’t do when a part of her wanted to forget this night had ever happened and go back to this morning, when she was sure she was in love with him.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “Losing someone you love can cause you to take a hard look at yourself and your choices. Hopefully, you like what you see.” - Miss Know-It-All’s Gossip Column.

  Gracie stepped off the plane first, and Eric watched the way she quickly marched away from him once they hit the pavement. Eric almost reminded her that they had ridden together, but decided it was better just to keep his mouth shut.

  She’d slept somewhere else last night, and he’d actually been surprised to see her for the flight home this morning. When he mentioned this, she’d just put in here earbuds and said, “I couldn’t get a flight home last night.”

  He turned on his cell phone as they waited for their luggage. Her sparkly pink case came out first, and she was out the door before him.

  He clenched his jaw, wishing she could see that although there was some truth to his book, it was fiction. It was a fun way to vent his frustrations at the world around him and entertain people. What the hell was wrong with that?

  Eric walked outside to find Gracie waiting on the curb. His phone went off with a thousand notifications, and he pulled it out of his pocket as he stopped next to her.

 
“The car is that way,” he said, pointing.

  “I’m waiting for Mike to pick me up.”

  Of course she had called her knight in shining armor. He tapped on his voice mail, and the first message made him stumble as he stepped off the curb.

  “Gee, you walk much?”

  He ignored the jibe and turned around with his phone still in hand.

  “Mike’s not coming, Gracie.”

  She gave him a hostile look. “What are you talking about? He told me last night—”

  “Mike’s not coming because he was in a car wreck last night.”

  Gracie paled. “Is he—”

  “He’s alive, but pretty banged up with a broken arm.”

  “Thank God for that.”

  “There’s more,” Eric said. He watched her brace herself and wished he had the right to hold her right now. “They took Gemma in for an emergency C-section last night. It’s why Mike was on the slippery roads.”

  Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear her. “How is she?”

  “She had a seizure, and they kicked Travis out of the room. That’s all he said—”

  Gracie stepped off the curb and ran, dragging her case behind her. Eric jogged after her, knowing she was freaking out and nothing he could say would make it better.

  They drove to the hospital in silence, and when they finally got to the maternity wing, they were racing through the hallways until they came to a halt at the reception desk.

  “Excuse me, but can you tell me if Gemma Bowers is all right?” Gracie asked.

  The blonde nurse with the sunny smile asked sweetly, “Are you family?”

  “She’s my best friend. We just got off the plane and had a message that she’d had a seizure, and I just want to know—

  The nurse cut her off with a sympathetic smile and a shake of her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give out patient information. Let me see if I can get ahold of a family member, and they can come out and update you.”

  Eric could sense Gracie was about to explode and stepped forward. “We appreciate it.”

  “Go ahead and have a seat.”

  Several moments ticked by, and Eric leaned over to whisper, “I know you’re pissed at me right now, but if you need me to hold your hand—”

  “I don’t.”

  “Fair enough.”

  Travis came around the corner, and Gracie leapt to her feet. “Is she okay?”

  “Yeah, she’s fine now. The doctors have her on a magnesium drip. She had eclampsia, but they said she’d be better now that the babies are out and she—ow! Why did you hit me?”

  Eric covered a smile with his hand, and Gracie wound up and smacked Travis on his arm again with a loud whack. “You do not leave a message that she had a seizure and then not give us an update! Do you have any idea how scared I was?”

  “I left a second message on your phone, but I’ve been a little busy,” Travis said.

  Gracie threw herself against Travis and broke into sobs. “I’m so glad she’s okay. Are the babies healthy?”

  Travis looked up at Eric, who shrugged, conveying without words that he didn’t get the roller coaster of emotions either.

  “Yeah, the girls are fine. They are in the NICU for observation.”

  Eric watched Gracie pull away, wiping at her eyes. “Can I see Gemma first?”

  “Sure, I’ll take you back. Eric—”

  He stood up, and held his hand out to Travis. “It’s okay. I’m glad she’s all right, but I’ve got to get home. My parents have been watching my dog, and I don’t want to know how bad Grant screwed up while I was gone.”

  Travis gave him a one armed hug. “Thanks for bringing her.”

  “Yeah, sure. See you later, Gracie,” Eric said pointedly.

  She nodded and turned on her heel, disappearing down the hall.

  Travis raised one eyebrow. “Fun trip?”

  “Oh yeah. Time of my life,” Eric said.

  “Travis!” Gracie called from out of sight.

  “I’ll text you later.”

  Eric walked toward the elevator, and as the doors shut, he realized he’d never felt so alone.

  * * *

  Gracie sat beside Gemma’s hospital bed, a death grip on her hand and tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “You scared me to death, damn you.”

  Gemma’s face was completely leeched of color, but her smile was bright at least. “I’m sorry. To be fair, Travis scared you. You would have never known if he hadn’t panicked.”

  “You don’t understand, I need you. I can’t imagine my future without you. I want us to be eighty-year-old bitches sitting on the front porch in rockers, yelling at the kids that run by. I want us to prank the other geezers in the nursing home.”

  Gemma laughed weakly. “Charming.”

  “So, no more freaking me out, because you just took twenty years off my life. Seriously, I think you turned my hair gray.”

  Gemma pretended to search her hair. “I’m not seeing it. Have you been down to the NICU yet?”

  “No, I wanted to check on you first.”

  “I haven’t seen them yet. The nurse is supposed to come by tomorrow and take out this drip.” Gemma’s hazel eyes flooded, and she sniffled. “I haven’t even held or seen my babies yet.”

  Gracie got up and hugged her, her heart breaking as her best friend fell apart in her arms.

  “You’ll see them soon, and then you’re going to have them all to yourself. You just do what the doctors tell you.”

  Gemma pulled away, wiping at her cheeks. “God, you’re so bossy.” Once she was dry, she added, “How are things with you? I want to hear all about your trip.”

  “No, you don’t,” Gracie said.

  Gemma frowned. “Why not?”

  “’Cause it was pretty…catastrophic.”

  Gemma’s gaze narrowed. “What did you do?”

  “Why do you always blame me?” Gracie asked, avoiding her eyes.

  “Because I know you!”

  “Now, that’s insulting. I am a damn delight.”

  “Tell me. Now.”

  Gracie didn’t know how to explain what had happened without telling Gemma about the book, and for some reason, despite how pissed she was, she didn’t want to betray Eric. So, she fibbed a bit.

  “He just said some pretty hurtful things about me…and although some of them might have been partially accurate, it still wasn’t right or fair.”

  “If he was a jackass to you, then forget about him. You deserve someone who thinks you’re amazing.”

  Gracie loved Gemma, and it was exactly the kind of thing she would have said to her if their roles were reversed. And yet…

  “Actually, I think I deserve someone who sees me for who I am, warts and all, and loves me anyway.”

  Gemma scrunched up her forehead, obviously confused. “Yes, but isn’t that what I basically said? You deserve someone who thinks the world of you.”

  “Yes, but I’m not perfect, and I don’t want someone who thinks I am. That’s probably why I dump so many of my boyfriends, because they don’t see the real me.”

  “Okay, I’m with you so far,” Gemma said.

  “I just need to start being completely honest about who I am, and eventually, I’ll meet the right guy.”

  “So things are definitely over with Eric?”

  Even as her heart shattered in protest, Gracie gave a jerky nod. “Most definitely.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  “The only cure for heartache is honesty. It will either win her heart, or you’ll know it is over.” -Miss Know-It-All’s Gossip Column.

  Eric stood behind the bar at Buck’s and took another shot of Jose Cuervo, slamming the glass down on the bar.

  Was he working? Hell, yes. Did he give two shits? No.

  In the six days since he’d left Gracie at the hospital, he’d started writing four texts and hung up three times after dialing her. Hell, he’d even seen her car at the grocery store and peeled out of t
he parking lot. This town just wasn’t big enough for the both of them, not with everything he’d been feeling.

  “Whoa, dude, what are you doing?” Grant asked.

  Eric poured another shot. “Drinking. This is a bar, right?”

  “Yeah, but it’s our bar, and we don’t drink when we’re working.”

  He downed the shot, and air hissed out between his teeth as his chest burned. “Who says I’m working?”

  His little brother puffed up his chest and scowled at him. “If you aren’t working, then get the fuck out from behind the bar, and I’ll find you a ride home. Right now, you’re pissing off the customers.”

  Eric wanted to say he didn’t give two nuts and a squirrel about the customers, but he knew he’d regret it. Just like he’d regretted not telling Gracie everything about what he’d written before they’d arrived in New York. Neal had told him that his fight with Gracie had only revved up Vanessa more about the book, but he couldn’t get excited about it. Not when he knew that Gracie might never understand or forgive him.

  He’d gone through several stages of emotions. Fury at her for being unreasonable. Guilt as he reasoned her point of view. Then rationalizing his side of things again, and finally, sadness because he didn’t know how to fix it. Wasn’t sure how to make it better.

  He stumbled outside and climbed into his car. He turned on the engine and cranked up the heat as he shivered. He’d sleep off the alcohol for a few hours and then drive home.

  He pulled out his phone, scrolling through his text messages from Gracie. Some were sweet. Others were sassy. Then there were the downright naughty ones that left him grinning.

  He pulled up his email and downloaded the PDF of his reworked book proposal he’d been writing all week and ending for the book, one that Vanessa had loved even more than his original. Then he tapped onto her name, attached the file, and started writing a text.