Chloe Sparrow

by Lesley Crewe

  She sighs as she slathers herself with baby oil. “He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever been with.”

  “You shouldn’t do that. You might get skin cancer.”

  “Do you always listen to the experts?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “No wonder you never laugh. Why don’t you come and spend some time with us? What do you do at night in that guest house?”

  “Read. Sometimes I go and visit my family.”

  “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  “No.”

  “You should. You’re pretty.”

  “Even with a crooked nose?”

  “You don’t really notice it after a while.”

  “I’ve got a chipped tooth.”

  “Keep your mouth shut.”

  “I’m flat-chested.”

  “That’s unfortunate, but you can do something about it. My enhancements were well worth it. Guys look at me wherever I go.”

  “Do you want them to?”

  “Chloe, you’re a strange girl.”

  When she eventually wanders away, I sit back and realize that I like Sydney, big tits and all.

  Amanda dumps more and more office work on me, since she’s picking up my slack, so I’m on the phone, making arrangements for trips to other parts of the country, when at some point I drift off. When I wake up, Austin and Lizette are in the pool and she has her bikini top off. I’m not sure where this pool business is going, but I’m out of here. I slide off the chaise lounge and attempt to cross the cement patio on my hands and knees, with my bum foot dragging behind me. I keep near the bushes and am almost at the corner of the house when I hear, “What on earth are you doing?”

  “I’m looking for my contact.”

  “Do you need help?”

  “No.”

  I keep crawling and run into Amanda. She wants to know why I’m on my hands and knees. When I tell her, she runs off.

  “Brian! Get out to the pool quick. We’re missing some good stuff!”

  I hate this job.

  The next day is more of the same, people hounding me while I work. I’ve decided to get crutches, and then I can at least walk away. When my cell rings, I hear it but don’t see it and end up emptying my bag filled with folders on the pool deck to find it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello! Is this Chloe Sparrow?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry to bother you, dear, but I got your number from the CBC office. I’m Harriet Hawke, Austin’s mother.”

  “Hello, Mrs. Hawke. It’s nice to talk to you.”

  “And you dear. Austin has told me all about you.”

  “He has?”

  “I was very surprised when he decided to do this. Apparently his sister Julia put him up to it, which is certainly typical of their relationship. Austin is sensitive, so I hope he doesn’t get his heart broken. Don’t tell him I said that, he’ll get annoyed, but a mother can’t help worrying. I’m sure your mother is the same way.”

  “Uh…”

  “Austin’s not answering his cellphone and I need to get in touch with him. His great-uncle died yesterday and we’re having the memorial on Tuesday at noon. I hope he gets time off so he can be with us.”

  “Of course. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  “Uncle Sam was a bit of a waster, but family is family.”

  “I understand.”

  “Thank you, dear. I hope we get to meet one day. Perhaps Austin can bring you for dinner one night.”

  “That sounds nice.”

  “From now on, call me Harriet. Goodbye!”

  What a nice woman. Rebecca walks by with her colourful tattoos, so I wave her over. “Do you know where Austin is?”

  “If I did, I’d be with him. He’s ignoring me.”

  “You’re still here, aren’t you? I need to speak with him ASAP.”

  Ten minutes later Austin saunters over to me. “What’s up, boss?”

  “Sit down.”

  “Am I in trouble?” He sits on the chaise beside me.

  “Your mom called.”

  “My mother? What’s wrong?”

  “Call her back. She said it’s important.”

  “I know my mother. She told you.”

  I put my sunglasses on the top of my head. “It’s not my place to say anything.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Your great-uncle Sam died. His funeral is Tuesday at noon.”

  Austin stares at the pool. “Poor old Sam. He always was a bit of a waster. Want to come with me?”

  “Not really.”

  “We can go over to Mom’s afterwards for lunch. I think we need a break and some homemade food.”

  “Okay.”

  That’s how I end up in his mother’s kitchen with a boatload of relatives. Everyone’s having a jolly time; clearly Uncle Sam won’t be missed. I hear from ten more people that Sam was a bit of a waster but family is family.

  Harriet looks like a mom, the kind of woman who wraps a scarf around you twice. It’s Austin’s younger sister, Julia, who surprises me, with her blonde dreadlocks and pierced tongue, carrying her guitar everywhere she goes. She played “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” at the memorial, and she was awesome. I corner her at one point. “I have a colleague who’s a music critic at the CBC. Would you mind if I told him about you? Maybe he could point you in the right direction.”

  Her face lights up. “Are you serious? You’d do that for me?”

  “I’m not promising anything, but you never know.”

  “I’m singing at the Pregnant Toad downtown this weekend.”

  “I’ll tell him. If he’s free he might take a run over.”

  “Wow. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me, and I don’t even know you.”

  “Glad I could help.”

  When I meet Austin’s Uncle Tony he thinks I’m one of the bachelorettes. “I hope he picks you. We could use some fresh blood in this family.”

  Austin keeps bringing his mom’s food trays over so I can sample her wares, but I haven’t eaten this much in a decade. I break out in a fine sheen of sweat. When he circles with his mother’s chicken kabobs I hold out my hand. “Please, no more.”

  The surprising thing is that when I go to bed, I sleep like I’ve been drugged.

  Today is EdgeWalk day at the CN Tower, an extreme adventure where people go out on a five-foot ledge and are attached to an overhead safety rail via a trolley and harness system. You can lean backwards or forwards off the edge, 1,168 feet, the equivalent of 116 storeys, above the ground. Austin selects Erin, Tracy, Lizette, Jocelyn, and Jennifer P. to go with him. After they come indoors, whoever Austin gives the charm to will stay and have a romantic dinner at 360, a restaurant that has a spectacular view of the city. The girls take a change of evening clothes with them. Participants have to be in perfect health. Now that I know I’m not going out there, I’m full of confidence for the others.

  “You’ll be fine. It’s the safest ride in the world, they tell me.”

  The girls are quiet as we get in the van. Austin, on the other hand, can’t wait. He rubs his hands together.

  “Make sure someone takes a picture of me so I can text it to my mom. She’ll freak.”

  Brian taps me on the shoulder. “I will drink poison if you make me go out there.”

  “Now you tell me.” I roll down the window of the van and yell for Brian’s apprentice, Jeremy. “We’re going to need you on this venture.”

  Poor Jeremy gets instantly green around the gills. Not a great sign.

  “Go get Gary, too.”

  “Who thought this one up?” Jocelyn asks.

  Amanda holds up her hand sheepishly. “I was drunk at the time.”

  I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never been to the CN
Tower. The thought of taking Gramps and Aunt Ollie always left me weak, but I didn’t want to go alone. So now here it is on this strange bucket list we’ve created for other people.

  Amanda and I do our best to keep everyone in great spirits, but they’re not fooled by our hilarity. This day will all come down to who can suppress their nerves long enough to make an impression on Austin, who’s happy and excited by the adventure. They have to be happy and excited along with him, and right now the group is fifty-fifty.

  When we stand outside the CN Tower, the enormity of it shocks me. We’re going up there?

  We’re herded into the high-speed elevator before I realize that this baby has a glass front and two glass panels in the floor so you can enjoy the ride as you whisk up the side of the building at thirty kilometres

  an hour. I quickly find the nearest chest and press myself into it with my eyes closed. It happens to be Austin’s. His aftershave is killer.

  “Chloe, you’ve got to look at this,” he says. “You can see the whole city.”

  He’s wrong. I don’t have to do a damn thing.

  I’m the first one off the elevator, and I admit I accidentally speared a few toes with the rubber end of my crutch. Amanda collects the girls and clucks over them like a mother hen before handing them over to the people who run the EdgeWalk experience. She’ll watch the proceedings from inside. I sit on a couch farther away from the window and put my leg up. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I can feel this tower swaying. If it’s coming down, I should call home.

  “What’s shakin’?” Gramps says.

  “This building.”

  “When are you coming home? Ollie doesn’t do a thing but play with the kittens.”

  “I miss them.”

  “They’re little hellions, but Bobby’s a big softie. Right, Bobby?”

  “How are you feeling, Gramps? Everything all right?”

  “Yes and no.”

  My heart jumps. “What do you mean?”

  “I had a little chest pain the other day.”

  I stand up without my crutch and wince. “Did you go to the doctor?”

  “Ollie wouldn’t take me.”

  “Let me speak to her right now.”

  “Ollie? Ollie? Pick up the phone!”

  “Helloooo?”

  “Why didn’t you take Gramps to the doctor? It could be serious.”

  “It could be, but it wasn’t.”

  “Are you a doctor? I don’t think we should take any chances. He’s not getting any younger.”

  “I’m still on the phone. You’re not getting any younger, either.”

  “He had chest pain because the old fool found my box of depilatory and tried to wax the hair off his chest.”

  “Gramps, you made me think you were having a heart attack.”

  “I don’t believe I uttered those exact words.”

  “Now I know why I’m a basket case. Goodbye.”

  My legs are wobbly, so I collapse on the couch and take deep breaths. Maybe I can score some anti-anxiety medication on the street. As I sit and stew, I hear a commotion coming from the EdgeWalk ledge. No doubt all the harnesses have broken and everyone has fallen to the earth, splat. I’m not bothered by that notion.

  Amanda brings in Erin, who apparently froze when she got out there. Tracy’s in hysterics and Jennifer P. has gone mute. The only two left are Jocelyn and Lizette, and they’re on either side of Austin, pretending to be superheroes flying off a building.

  “Amanda?”

  She plunks down beside me. “What?”

  “Remember the good old days, when we used to sit behind a desk?”

  “We had good times, didn’t we?”

  “I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

  “If you don’t, I’ll get the helm.”

  I poke her with my crutch.

  The participants eventually come inside. Austin is pumped. When he gives the charm to Jocelyn, Lizette is pissed off. I don’t blame her. She was outside hanging off a building ledge for him, and not only that, she showed him her boobs in the pool.

  I know Amanda wants to be home with her kids, so I stay with Brian while he films Austin and Jocelyn at dinner. The people at the restaurant have an extra table for us and say we can have dinner too, which is thoughtful. I’m nervous about sitting near a window, which is my bad luck since the entire outer wall is nothing but windows. While I’m reading the menu, something dawns on me.

  “Brian, is this place moving?”

  “Yeah, it’s a revolving restaurant.”

  “It’s unscrewing itself.”

  “Have something to eat. You’ll feel better.”

  The motion is making me nauseous, so I don’t eat, but it doesn’t stop me from drinking vodka cocktails. I’m looped in no time. As Brian eats his way through a rack of some poor pig’s ribs, I pick his brain.

  “Do you have trouble getting women?”

  “I’ve had my fair share.”

  “What’s a fair share?”

  He licks his fingers. “Chloe, you ask too many questions.”

  “You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.” As I focus on Brian, it occurs to me that he looks like a cross between a bear and a lumberjack. “Are you married?”

  “What is this? Twenty questions? If you must know, I’m divorced.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “Were you cheating on her? Why do men do that, anyway? Why are some guys so cruel?”

  He picks up his napkin and wipes the barbeque sauce off his beard. “You don’t have a very high opinion of men. Has someone hurt you in the past?”

  I stir my drink with my red plastic sword. “I remember once I wished this guy would notice me and when he asked me to go for a drive I was so excited. He drove me to an out-of-the-way spot and tried to take off my clothes, so I wished that he’d leave me alone. He did. He pushed me out of the car and drove away. I had no money and my dad always told me not to hitchhike. It took me four hours to walk home.”

  “The guy was a dick. We’re not all dicks.”

  “I’ll have to take your word for it. I don’t know that many men.”

  Brian glances behind me. “I better go get some romantic footage.”

  My glass is empty, so I nibble on a bread stick until Brian comes back to the table.

  “Those two really like each other.”

  “Jocelyn’s the one; I said that from the beginning. Can I go home now?”

  Brian tells them we’re leaving. We get on the elevator and I hide my face in Brian’s shirt. The rest of the trip home is a big blur, except I think I reached up and tried to kiss Brian outside my bedroom. And I am pretty sure he patted the top of my head and pushed me in the door. I do remember hanging my head in the toilet bowl.

  I make an appointment with my doctor. He hasn’t seen any of my recent injuries and I want to bring him up to speed. Dr. McDermott is my pediatrician. He still lets me come to his office because he feels terrible about how I lost my parents. He helped me in the early days of my new reality.

  It’s awkward sitting in the waiting room surrounded by three-year-olds and mothers rocking their infants in sexy strollers.

  One perfect mother leans over to me. “You seem to have forgotten your baby.”

  “I left her in the car with the engine running.”

  She recoils and then gets up and talks to the receptionist, pointing her finger at me. The receptionist waves.

  “Hi, Chloe, you can go in now.”

  As I sit on the examining table, I reach for the paper and crayons Dr. McDermott always keeps on hand. My chart is filled with creations I’ve drawn over the years. He says a picture tells him more about what’s going on in a child’s life than anything else.

  I’m almost f
inished my drawing when Dr. McDermott comes in. He’s a gruff old goat. I’m not sure why kids aren’t afraid of him—probably his gentle hands.

  “My favourite patient. How are you, Chloe Sparrow?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  “Let me see.” He takes my picture from me. “So we have a girl standing under a big black cloud, being rained on.”

  I point to the sky. “There’s also thunder and lightning and a tornado coming. That’s a tsunami in the distance.”

  “Oh, dear.”

  “I broke my nose. I chipped my tooth. I tore the ligaments in my ankle and I haven’t had a period in five months.”

  “Are you pregnant?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sexually active?”

  “I believe you have to have a boyfriend for that.”

  “Not necessarily. You don’t have anyone in your life?”

  I shake my head.

  “That must get lonely.”

  Shrug.

  “Hop on the scale.”

  It clunks when I step on the cold, shaky platform. Dr. McDermott shuffles the metal pointer around, but I can never read the weight fast enough before he whacks it back into position. “I see.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You weigh one hundred and two pounds. That’s why you’re not getting your period. You need to gain at least ten to fifteen pounds.”

  “I forget to eat.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  My eyes well up momentarily. “Don’t be mad at me.”

  He holds my head. “Let me look at your nose. Whoever set it did a good job. A slight bump is normal after a break. You can hardly notice it. Show me your tooth.”

  I give him a big smile.

  “Piffle. You can’t even see it, but you can get it fixed. You’ve got health benefits. Now let me see your foot.”

  “I have a cankle. It’s lumpy.”

  His fingers gently press all around. “The swelling will go eventually, but not all of it. We are our wounds, my dear.”

  He listens to my heart and lungs, looks in my ears and down my throat, takes my blood pressure, and fills out a prescription pad. “I want you to have blood work done and a urine sample. I’m sending you for chest X-rays just to be careful, and I want you to come back in two weeks and we’ll see how much weight you’ve gained. Then every two weeks after that. Are you still a vegetarian?”