02 Unforgivable - Untouchable

by Lindsay Delagair

  The distance to the hotel was less than a block, but it gave us a chance to talk. I was mostly interested in his rise to fame when he came upon a home invasion and ended up taking on three armed intruders to save a family he didn’t even know. He was extremely modest about what he did, but he said the press made such a big deal about it he ended up on several talk shows telling about his adventure, and then he was approached to tryout for Remake.

  “What do you mean tryout? Didn’t they just come and invite you?”

  “Nah, I had to prove I could sing first. You know that, everyone had to audition at some point.”

  I remembered the day Don appeared in Colorado Springs and all he wanted to know was if I could sing. I never sang a note for him until my first time in front of an audience. That was a little strange, and I knew I’d have to ask some of the other contestants to find out if what Sadarius was telling me was true. If so, then why did I seemingly get special privilege?

  Even though Thursday was a free day, I spent it trying to recoup from a lack of sleep Wednesday night. The sore jaw didn’t help my efforts and I ended up with zero sleep time. It must have been near twelve noon when I finally relented, reached over and grabbed the blue capsule and reluctantly swallowed it.

  When I opened my eyes it was one p.m. and I didn’t figure that stupid pill did much good other than make me have to pee like I’d drunk a quart of water. I was woozy as I made my way to the bathroom to relieve my bladder. At least the one hour’s sleep left me feeling rested. I flipped on the television and watched some news when I noticed something in the corner of the screen that caught my attention; the date. What? I grabbed up my cell phone and stared at the display. It was Friday, and I had slept twenty-five hours!

  “Ah crap!” I said jumping out of the bed. I was scheduled in the studio in three hours! I rushed through my shower, and dressed. I was absolutely starving, but that was understandable since I’d missed a day’s worth of food. I went down to the restaurant and had a late lunch and then started out the lobby for the studio. Sadarius was heading out at the same time and offered to walk with me. I honestly think he was worried Carrie may have lingered in town and would be lying in wait to jump me or run me over.

  “I tried calling you yesterday. I was going to see if you wanted to hang out for a little while, but you never answered.”

  “No, believe it or not, I slept through yesterday.”

  “Wow, that punch in the jaw must have been a little harder than I thought.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed, the light purple bruise was still on my face under my makeup, but I wasn’t about to tell him the punch wasn’t what put me down for the day.

  Thomas found me not long after I got to the studio and privately asked me if I tried his sleep-aid.

  I scowled, “I slept an entire day!”

  “But how do you feel today?” he continued, unaffected by the fact that I had an extended rest.

  “Well, I feel great, but—”

  “You don’t have to take them all the time, just when you really got to get some sleep. I brought you a bottle of them, but they aren’t cheap. Do you have five on you?”

  “Five dollars?”

  “No,” he laughed lightly, “Five hundred dollars—and that’s cheap.”

  “I really don’t think I’d want to take another—”

  “Ah, come on, girl. You don’t know all the trouble I went through to score this bottle for you. I’m already out the money and I’ve got rent to pay and—”

  “All right, all right,” I said to get him to shut up. “But I never told you to put yourself out to do this for me.”

  “I know, but I figured you looked like you could use some rest, you know.”

  I opened my purse as Thomas unabashedly peered inside while I pulled out five, one-hundred dollar bills. I still had a considerable amount of cash I had not re-deposited, and I realized it was foolish to carry it around, but I would eventually get it to the bank.

  He produced an unlabeled prescription bottle and dropped it into my purse, “Nice doin’ business with you, Leese. You let me know when you need some more, but five hundred was the cheap price. If we do this again it’ll be eight-hundred.”

  “Trust me; I won’t be doing this again.”

  He gave me a strange smile as he stuffed the cash into his pocket and simply said, “We’ll see.”

  I felt absolutely dirty after the transaction, like I needed to go back to the hotel and shower. And, having a bottle of pills inside my purse was unnerving me. It was almost like having to carry a gun to dinner so very long ago. We each had a locker area and I secured my bag and went to make-up for my touch up and to see if they could do a better job of hiding the bruise on my cheek.

  The doors opened as the music played, each of us taking our turn to wave to the camera as they panned over us. The men gave their performances and three more were cut. We were all brought out on stage during the last five minutes of the show so they could recap who made it to the final twelve.

  For the women, it was Kitkat, Dobrey, Melanie and Melissa (who did everything as a duet so they counted as one person), Nicole, Shana and me. For the guys, it was Sadarius, Lexington, Rashad, Todd, Allen and Pierce.

  The commercials letting the American public know about the new series had been running, but in a few days they would give the public glimpses of who made it as contestants. I would have to call Mom tomorrow and let her know what was getting ready to happen because she had no idea I had been doing this.

  The shows would begin airing in two weeks, but the first four were taped so we’d have almost a month off. We were all backstage getting ready to go our separate ways when I started asking about how the other women auditioned for the show. I was shocked to learn everyone had to prove they could sing before they earned their spot in the original twenty-four contestants. I never told them I didn’t have to audition, but the fact that I appeared to be separated from the other contestants was starting to worry me.

  I had the option to stay the night or fly home; I opted for home. It was after one in the morning before I pulled into the driveway. Once again, I was exhausted, but couldn’t sleep. I pulled out the bottle of capsules and opened it up, pouring the contents into my hand; there were twenty pills. I wasn’t about to take another one and end up missing another day of my life, but I would keep them just in case. I placed them in my nightstand by the bed, lay down and watched the clock tick by.

  I dozed before dawn and then got up and headed into town to the farmer’s market. I drove past my once happy home, knowing that Ryan and Candace were probably still sound asleep, unless she had to work today, but that was unlikely since her car and the Javelin were both parked in the drive. I picked up my fresh fruits and veggies and headed back home, noticing their cars were missing when I went past the house the second time.

  I turned onto my street fifteen minutes later and could see his car was in my driveway. My cell phone was going off. “Hello, Ryan,” I answered, slowing my approach.

  “When are you getting back in town? I was kind of thinking it would be today.”

  “They extended our taping for another few days so I won’t be back until next week,” I teased and then pulled in behind him.

  “Very funny, Leese,” he said and the line went dead as he stepped out of the car.

  He came over to help carry in my produce when he got a look at my face. “Ah, Crap—what happened? Did that witch club you?” he said as he inspected the tender place gently with his fingertips.

  “Yeah, she got cut from the show and went ballistic.”

  “I knew I should have gone with you!”

  “It’s okay. She managed one good punch before I knocked her out.”

  He started laughing, “You mean like honest-to-God knocked her out?”

  “I caught her with a round house to the side of the head and she dropped like a rock.”

  “How did you manage to miss blocking the punch? You’re usually pretty good at that.”
/>   “My reactions were a little slow,” I admitted.

  “No sleep, huh? Come on, baby girl, that’s what I’m here for. Candace has a full shift today, nine to five and I need the rest as much as you do.”

  It was so great to be home.

  I called Mom the next day and told her about the television show. She was excited, but (knowing how much I disliked public attention) surprised I did it. I told her I’d really like to see them, but I wasn’t ready for all the emotions of coming home, even if it was only for a few days. She offered for her and Kimmy to come visit me and I quickly accepted, telling her I had plenty of room. She didn’t ask about Ryan, but I knew her well enough to know that she had begun to accept the idea that I knew what I was doing, no matter how much she or anyone else for that matter, didn’t.

  The weather the next day was overcast, and, before I left to go pick them up from the airport, snow began floating to earth. When we got back to the house the snowfall had become steady. Kimmy was happy to see me, but I think she was truly happiest to see the snow. She had seen snow twice before but she was too little to remember it very well, so this was like a whole new experience. She went out in the yard and began collecting handfuls of it and started making a very small snow man as Mom and I watched from the window.

  It didn’t take long, just the two of us inside the house, before she began cautiously asking me questions about what happened that caused me to run from Micah.

  “I don’t believe it was Ryan—he was just an excuse, not the reason. I’d really like to know, and I won’t say anything to David,” she added.

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “Was Micah—was he abusive or did he do—”

  “No—he was perfect—it was me.”

  “So where is Ryan?” she asked. “Or did he leave because I’m here.”

  “If I tell you something you can’t tell David, Micah, or anyone in his family.”

  She nodded.

  “Ryan doesn’t live here,” I sighed. I didn’t dare tell her we weren’t lovers; I simply left that subject alone. Ryan was planning on making an appearance each day, but I already told him he didn’t have to go so far as to come over and sleep with me.

  I could see the surprise written all over her face, “You mean he’s not living here while we’re here. David said you two were—”

  “No, I mean he really doesn’t live here.”

  “But, Leese, this is a big house and you expect me to believe that you are living here all alone?”

  “That’s the truth.”

  “I don’t like you being alone,” she said honestly.

  I wanted to tell her I didn’t like it much myself, but it would only serve to worry her. “Just do me a favor when he comes over, don’t treat him like an outsider. None of this is his fault.”

  “Do you love him, Leese?”

  I sighed, “Yeah, actually I do.”

  “More than Micah?”

  “I hate to tell you how screwed up your daughter is, but I’m in love with both of them—what I feel for Micah is just a little bit stronger.”

  She came up behind me and wrapped me in her arms, kissing the side of my head, “Your cheek looks bruised,” she whispered. “There isn’t something going on here that you don’t want to tell me, is there?”

  “My cheek is bruised because I got punched in the face, but it was on the set of the show.”

  She turned me to face her, a frown etched hard into her expression, “I thought you said this was a singing competition?”

  “It is, but I got into it with one of the other contestants.”

  “As long as this isn’t Ryan’s handiwork.”

  “He is one of the kindest people on the planet, Mom. He’d never lay a hand on me. Let’s go out in the yard and give Kimmy some help.”

  We were chilled to the bone by the time we had scraped up enough snow to make a small, but decent snowman. He was perfect in all other ways. We used twigs for his arms, a carrot nose, and plum halves and slices for his eyes and smile and some fat, red grapes for his buttons.

  Ryan pulled in just as we were finishing him up. “He looks pretty good,” he said as he climbed out of the car.

  “Ryan!” Kimmy squealed with glee. She was oblivious as to what had happened over the last two months, but she remembered all the fun she had with him at the hotel. She ran and threw her soggy arms around him.

  “Wow, kiddo, you’re pretty wet. We’d better get you inside before you catch pneumonia out here.”

  I could see his concern for Kimmy’s welfare put a smile to Mom’s face, “He’s right. We’d better all go inside before we turn into snowmen.”

  Kimmy laughed, “Ryan would be the snowman, Mom—we’d be snow-girls.”

  Ryan wrapped his arm around my shoulders and softly kissed my bruise. Mom observed, but never showed any signs that it bothered her.

  We made hot chocolate and then I took them upstairs to the game room. Kimmy was in heaven as Ryan showed her the proper way to kill centipedes and gobble ghosts. Mom challenged me to a game of pool, telling me she had once been pretty good at it. I’d never really studied or practiced it, but I was up for the match. Ryan stated he’d play the winner.

  The next game was Ryan and Mom, because she kicked my butt on the pool table. Ryan had his work cut out for him, and I could tell he wasn’t going to fake inability so she could beat him. It seemed to impress her that he wasn’t going to try to bolster her confidence with a false show. They were evenly matched and it finally came down to who was going to make the eight ball. Mom had a difficult bank shot if she was going to get it in the pocket, but, after a tip from Ryan about the angle at which she was holding her cue, she made the shot.

  Originally, we were going to grill, but it was too chilly tonight to leave Ryan out on the pool deck cooking, so he and I cooked in the kitchen instead.

  When it became late, I took Kimmy down to the room I prepared for her and tucked her into bed while Mom and Ryan had a little alone time in the living room.

  “I’ve missed you,” Kimmy yawned as her head hit the pillow. “When are you coming home?”

  “Well, I’m a grown up now so I get to have my own house.”

  “Oh,” she looked glum at my response. “Where’s Micah?” she perked up slightly.

  That hit me hard, my throat knotting immediately, “He and I—we’re going to be apart for a while—I’ve been busy with the television show and he’s—he’s busy, too.”

  “I’m glad Ryan isn’t too busy. I can’t wait to see you on TV; I’m telling all my friends to watch you.”

  I kissed her forehead, said prayers with her, and told her to get some sleep.

  I was coming out of the hallway and into the living room as I heard Mom ask Ryan if he loved me. He raised his head as he watched me approach. I sat down beside him as he refocused on Mom, “More than she even knows,” he said, his eyes getting misty, “but, it’s late and I’ve got to get going or…” he let his sentence drop.

  I knew what the rest of it was going to be ‘…or Candace will be pissed,’ but he caught himself in time.

  “I’ll walk you out,” I said, following him to the Javelin.

  I could see my breath in the cold air. The snow had stopped falling, and a blanket of moon-kissed white covered the lawn. “Thanks for everything tonight. I hope Candace understands.”

  “Yeah, she does—she doesn’t particularly like it, but she understands. Try to get some sleep tonight.” And then he kissed my cheek and was gone.

  I stood outside and watched as the red taillights disappeared down the street and turned out of sight. Mom was waiting as I walked in.

  “You really should tell me what’s going on, Leese.”

  “I can’t, Mom, maybe someday, but not now.”

  She still had a funny look on her face.

  “What?”

  “It’s just strange to me that the two of you never kissed on the lips. You couldn’t stop kissing Micah when you two were toge
ther. Things aren’t what they seem, are they?”

  “Just remember, not a word to David. By the way, how is he?” What I really wanted to know was if they were back in the country, but I was too scared to ask.

  “He is absolutely wonderful and I never thought I’d fall so deeply in love again—this is just like it was between your dad and me. He—he just mentioned before I flew out here that he’d like to marry me someday, but he is still upset over this whole thing between you and Micah.”

  “Wow—Mom, that’s a bomb-shell. Would you be willing, I mean have you considered it?”

  “I had no intentions until he mentioned that your marriage was annulled.”

  The tears hit me fast and hard with just the sound of the word. The word screamed, ‘It’s over!’ every time I allowed myself to think about it.

  She moved over to the sofa and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

  “Have you seen Micah? I mean, they are evidently back from their—trip,” I said, still sobbing.

  “No, I haven’t seen him. David says he’s still just too hurt to come by. David is so angry at you. I wish you’d let me tell him how torn up you are about this whole thing.”

  “NO—please, Mom. Just leave it the way it is. I can handle him being angry with me. It’s not important the kind of person he thinks I am.”

  “Yes it is, honey. If he only knew—”

  “If he knew, then Micah would know, and I can’t face Micah. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’ll see you in the morning.” I rose quickly and headed for the safety of my bedroom. I had already shown Mom where she would be sleeping so I wasn’t being completely rude. I just couldn’t keep up the conversation any longer.

  They could only stay two more days, because Kimmy was missing school for this adventure, but they were two terrific days. We spent one of the days at the Garden of the Gods, and then the last day was spent at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo and the Seven Falls Park. Ryan joined us for each adventure, and by the time they were ready to head back, Mom seemed to understand how I could be enamored with two men. I was relieved she no longer had a bad impression of him—he didn’t deserve to be the scapegoat for what happened; it just simply had to look that way to make it work.