Tamsyn Murray-My So-Called Haunting

by Tamsyn Murray

My stomach cartwheeled crazily when I spotted his dark head above the crowd. Even though we’d gone to the juice bar twice after school that week, I still felt nervous around him – but in a good way, like I did when I was a kid waiting for Christmas Day. Trying to ignore the butterflies flapping up a storm inside me, I weaved towards him.

  ‘Hey,’ I said as I reached him. He was dressed from head to toe in black. I gulped at how good-looking he was. It was the first time I’d seen him out of school uniform. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said he was playing the gig rather than being in the audience, and judging from the admiring glances he was getting, the rest of the female population thought so too.

  He broke into a smile. ‘You made it.’

  I thought I caught a hint of relief around his eyes. Surely he hadn’t been worried I’d stand him up? ‘Yeah. Did you think I’d change my mind?’

  A teasing expression crept over his face. ‘It wouldn’t have been the first time. How’s the ankle?’

  ‘It’s fine, as long as you don’t drag me into the mosh pit tonight.’

  Mouth quirking, he said, ‘Moshing is the last thing on my mind, believe me. Want to head in?’

  I gave a distracted nod, glad he wouldn’t be leaping around like a lunatic but wondering what he did have on his mind. Was he imagining what it would be like to press his lips against mine, the same as me? I shook the idea away as we followed the crowd along the road, in case I accidentally thought out loud. Once the Roundhouse came into view, I could see where it got its name. Rising up against the orange glow of the city sky was a circular building, easily the most distinctive one around.

  We joined the queue to get in. Noticing me craning my head backwards to look at it, Nico said, ‘It’s not the biggest venue around but it’s one of the best for atmosphere and acoustics. Anyone who’s anyone has played here.’

  The passion in his voice caught my attention and I realised I hardly knew anything about him. ‘Are you a musician?’

  A wry grin tugged at his mouth. ‘Nah. I look the part, but the sad truth is that I’m tone deaf. You?’

  I waved an airy hand. ‘Oh yeah, I’m very musical.’

  He threw me an impressed look. ‘What do you play?’

  Pretending to think, I tapped my lips slowly. ‘If I had to narrow it down, I’d say my best instrument is the triangle.’

  A snort of laughter escaped him.

  ‘What?’ I said, opening my eyes wide in mock hurt. ‘It’s a very complex instrument. Not just anyone can play it, you know, it takes years of practice.’

  Eyes still crinkled with amusement, he looked down at me. ‘I’ll take your word for it.’

  We’d reached the front of the queue. Nico reached into his leather jacket and pulled out two tickets. The security guard inspected them, then studied me.

  ‘You have to be fourteen to come in here without an adult. Got any ID?’

  I could have kicked myself. How many times in the past had I been asked to prove I was older than I looked? Too many was the answer, so why hadn’t I thought of bringing something along tonight? My shoulders drooped miserably. ‘I don’t have anything.’

  Nico thrust a hand into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a shiny rectangle. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got your school library card here. Will that do?’

  I stared first at him, then at the laminated card in his hand, utterly confused. I hadn’t been given a library card yet. How could Nico have one with my name, date of birth and photo on it?

  The man examined the library card closely, before handing it back to Nico. ‘You don’t look fifteen.’ He motioned us inside. ‘In you go, then.’

  I opened my mouth to tell him I was fourteen and then closed it again; it would only complicate things. Keeping my eyes firmly away from the guard, in case he somehow read my mind, I followed Nico through the gate and into the foyer. Once we were out of earshot of the security guard, I said, ‘Where did you get that card?’

  He shrugged. ‘I’ve been coming here for years so I knew they’d ask for ID. I didn’t know if you had anything so I made one for you.’

  My hand snaked towards him. ‘Let me see.’

  He passed me the fake card. It looked just like the ones everyone at Heath Park used and had my correct name and a smiling photograph of me. My date of birth was shown as the fifteenth of August but the year was out. ‘So that’s why he thought I was fifteen,’ I said. ‘Right date, wrong year. And where did you get that photo?’

  ‘Facebook,’ he replied. ‘I thought you could use it to get into fifteen certificate films as well.’

  I was trying my hardest not to be a little freaked out. On one hand I was touched that he’d thought I might need ID and had gone to the trouble of making sure I could get into the gig. On the other hand, it wasn’t exactly normal date behaviour. Why hadn’t he just texted me to tell me to bring something? I held the card towards him but he shook his head.

  ‘Keep it for next time,’ he said and smiled in a way that flipped my stomach like a pancake. ‘Come on, let’s head upstairs. The support act will be on in a minute.’

  He led the way up to the first floor and through a set of double doors. The moment we stepped through them and into the circular gig arena, I could see why bands would love to play there; it was one of the most intimate venues I’d ever seen. The stage was only a metre or so higher than the crowd and close enough for the musicians to be able to drink in the adoration of their fans. Even though we were close to the back of the room, I could see everything perfectly. As the support act took to the stage, the crowd surged and roared their appreciation. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation and I felt my own excitement rising.

  Nico was watching my face, smiling. ‘I told you it was a great venue.’

  ‘There’s got to be less than three hundred people here and The Droids are massive,’ I breathed, staring around in awe. ‘How did you manage to get tickets?’

  ‘My dad knows a few people,’ he replied vaguely. ‘Fancy a drink?’

  I hesitated. Did he mean alcohol? Maybe a trumped-up library card wasn’t the only fake ID he had in his back pocket. ‘Er . . . yes, please.’

  He raised an enquiring eyebrow. ‘So what do you want?’

  I didn’t know what to say. If I asked for a Coke would I come across as childish? Or would he be shocked if I demanded something stronger? ‘Surprise me.’

  He flicked his fringe out of his eyes and his mouth quirked at the edges. ‘You might regret saying that.’

  I watched him weave his way towards the bar on the other side of the room, wondering what he meant. I wasn’t worried he’d spike my drink; somehow I doubted he was the type who needed to get girls drunk to get them interested, but he was on his home ground and I had no idea what he was used to doing.

  The support act wasn’t half bad. I’d never heard of them, but I found myself swaying along to the thudding bass line with the rest of the audience. It wasn’t until the band launched into their fifth song that it dawned on me how long Nico had been gone and I started to peer over the heads of the crowd. There was no sign of him. Telling myself the bar would be mobbed, I forced myself to concentrate on the stage, but I couldn’t help glancing around. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a group of older lads watching me and nudging each other. Ignoring them, I focused on the band. If Nico wasn’t back by the end of the song, I’d ring him.

  ‘What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?’

  The words were practically bellowed into my ear and made me jump. I turned to see who had spoken. It was one of the boys from the group who’d been watching me. ‘Sorry?’ I said.

  The boy grinned. Up close I could see he was much older than me, probably eighteen or nineteen. He’d been drinking too, I could smell it on his breath.

  ‘I think you’re well fit. Are you here on your own?’

  Panic coiled in my stomach and I willed Nico to come back. ‘No, I’m here with a friend.’

  He grinned
unpleasantly and shifted so close to me that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. ‘Great! Is she fit too?’

  ‘Sorry to disappoint you, mate, but she’s with me.’ Nico materialised beside me and my breath whooshed out in a relieved sigh.

  The boy raised his head in challenge, but whatever he saw in Nico’s face made him think again. ‘No problem,’ he muttered and slunk back to his friends.

  ‘I can’t leave you alone for five minutes, can I?’ Nico observed with a slight shake of his head. He thrust a condensation-covered glass of dark liquid towards me. ‘Sorry I was so long, the bar was heaving.’

  I sniffed at the glass cautiously. Was it vodka that was odourless, or gin?

  ‘It’s just Coke, Skye,’ Nico said, amusement etched on his face. ‘I’m not trying to get you drunk.’

  My face flushed. ‘I didn’t think you were.’

  He threw me a disbelieving look. ‘Yeah, you did, but it’s OK. Some of the lads at school would definitely try it, and you don’t know that much about me yet.’

  Sipping my drink, I waited for the heat to drain from my face. When I felt calm again, I tapped his arm and pointed at the stage. ‘They’re good.’

  Nico nodded. ‘Wait until The Droids come on. This place will go mental.’

  A twinge of pain shot up my leg as my ankle complained about carrying my weight and I realised wearing my high-heeled boots had been a mistake, no matter how many precious centimetres they added to my height. I winced. Immediately, Nico placed a hand under my arm to steady me. ‘Do you want to find a seat?’

  The pain hadn’t been bad, but I didn’t want to make things any worse and be forced to miss the main event. ‘If that’s OK?’

  We made our way to the back of the room and stopped. There were no seats, but beside the wall was an empty stretch of floor. ‘Down there?’ I mouthed, pointing, and Nico gave me the thumbs-up.

  I slid to the floor, rotating my ankle gently. It wasn’t hurting that much, but I was glad to sit down. Nico settled beside me, his long legs resting next to mine.

  It was quieter back there and Nico didn’t have to shout to make himself heard. ‘So how come you transferred to Heath Park?’

  My home life wasn’t something I talked about much, but the question was innocent enough. ‘My mum is studying in Australia for a year so I’m living with my aunt.’

  His eyes were black pools in the subdued lighting. ‘No dad?’

  Again, it was a reasonable question and I answered truthfully. ‘No. He died before I was born.’

  He didn’t look away like most people do when I tell them about my dad. Instead, he paused before saying, ‘My mum died when I was a kid.’

  He was the only other person I’d met my age with a dead parent. Loads of kids were in one-parent families but no one else’s mum or dad had died. I stared into his inky gaze, feeling the connection between us strengthen. ‘It sucks, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah. The worst bit is that I hardly know anything about her. My dad never mentions her.’

  I could so identify with that. Dad was a closed book as far as Mum was concerned. Sometimes, I wondered if he’d ever visited me as a ghost, but he’d never identified himself if he had so I guessed he was at peace. My heart went out to Nico. Losing your dad was hard but growing up motherless had to be worse. Maybe that was why he’d sounded so bitter when he’d mentioned his dad.

  I leaned closer and laid a hand on his arm. ‘I’m sure she’s happy, wherever she is.’

  ‘I guess. I don’t tell many people about her.’ Nico gazed down at my upturned face for a moment, his expression growing in intensity. ‘There’s something about you I can’t figure out,’ he whispered, edging his head towards mine. ‘It’s like you have this secret you can’t share with anyone. Do you?’

  The words rang the faintest of alarm bells in the back of my mind, but they were lost in the sea of his closeness. All I could picture was his mouth, millimetres from mine, and how it would feel if I reached up to brush his lips with my own.

  ‘No,’ I whispered back and my skin tingled as it all but touched him.

  Smiling, he murmured, ‘We all have secrets. What’s yours, Skye?’

  He inched closer. My eyelids started to drift shut in heightened anticipation and I forced them open. I wanted to see him as our mouths met. I wanted to know if the lightning bolt about to blast me affected him the same way.

  It felt like an eternity we hovered there, our breath mingling together, oblivious to anyone or anything else around us. There was no crowd, there was no band, it was just the two of us about to do something magical. When he finally closed the gap and lowered his mouth to mine, I thought I was going to explode. My eyes drifted closed, no longer under my control. Gently, his lips parted mine and I pressed against him, every nerve in my body tingling.

  It felt like hours had passed when we broke apart, but I knew it could only have been seconds. Unsteadily, I opened my eyes and looked deep into his. They were even more shadowy than usual. The softest of smiles curled around his mouth. ‘You’re full of surprises, Skye Thackery.’

  I smiled back and leaned in for another kiss. ‘Trust me, you have no idea.’

  You know when you’re looking forward to something but dreading it at the same time? After Nico had walked me home from the gig and we’d stopped under practically every tree along my road to check we hadn’t forgotten how to snog, I’d almost floated through Sunday. Even Mary’s blatantly disapproving glowers weren’t enough to bring me down. It served her right if she’d seen more than she’d bargained for – she shouldn’t have been spying on me. But Monday morning brought a cold dose of reality. Nico and I hadn’t discussed how we were going to handle things at school. I thought we were officially going out but maybe he didn’t agree? How would my classmates react? More importantly, what would Ellie do?

  I already knew how Megan felt about it – she’d snuck out of her little sister’s birthday party on Sunday afternoon to pump me for every last detail on MSN. I swear I could hear her shrieks of excitement all the way from her house.

  ‘Have you seen him yet?’ she hissed as I joined the line for morning registration outside our classroom. ‘Ellie is going to implode when she finds out!’

  ‘Which is why I’d rather she didn’t until I’ve had a chance to speak to Nico,’ I whispered back, casting an uneasy glance over Megan’s shoulder at the back of Ellie’s glossy head. ‘Maybe it was just a one-night thing.’

  Megan rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, please. You can’t keep away from each other, of course it wasn’t a one-night thing.’ She pursed her lips mischievously and opened her mouth to sing. ‘He looooves yooou!’

  ‘Shhh!’ I whacked her arm to shut her up, but it was too late. Ellie was watching us through narrowed eyes.

  ‘What’s going on, freak?’

  I threw Megan a ‘thanks very much’ look. ‘Nothing.’

  Ellie stepped closer. ‘I hope you aren’t getting any ideas about Nico. He’s only bothering with you because he feels sorry for you, that’s all.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’ Megan chipped in smugly before I could say anything. ‘He feels so sorry for her that he asked her out and then snogged her face off all night, did he?’

  I glared at Megan, but she just shrugged. So much for keeping things quiet.

  Ellie’s expression could have soured milk. ‘I don’t believe it.’

  ‘Ask him yourself, then,’ Megan smirked. ‘He’s coming now.’

  My heart leaped crazily in my chest and I turned round. Megan was right, Nico was heading towards us.

  Ellie didn’t waste any time. ‘Hi, Nico,’ she purred up at him. ‘You know, if you’re looking for company I wouldn’t mind . . .’

  Her voice trailed off as Nico completely ignored her. Eyes intent on me, he closed the distance and, in one fluid movement, bent his head to mine and kissed me.

  The corridor fell silent as I slid my arms around his neck and lost myself once again. Then I heard Mr Exton clearing h
is throat. ‘Albescu. This isn’t the time or the place.’

  Sniggers broke out around us and we broke apart. Nico flashed a private smile at me. ‘See you later?’

  Dazed, I nodded and watched as he made his way down the corridor. Ellie was staring after him, her mouth open. Megan reached out a finger and pushed it shut.

  ‘Well, that answers that question,’ she said, grinning in satisfaction. ‘Definitely not a one-night thing.’

  ‘Can I ask you something?’ I said.

  It was early evening and daylight had long since faded. Nico and I were snuggled together on a bench at the top of Parliament Hill, Hampstead Heath sprawling below us and the lights of London twinkling like fireflies in the distance. It had been two blissful weeks since he’d kissed me at school and although we hadn’t dared to do that again, we’d seen each other every day. He was everything I’d hoped he’d be and I was starting to wonder if I could trust him with my secret.

  ‘What do you want to know?’

  I wriggled around until I could see his face. ‘How old were you when your mum died?’

  I felt his arms tighten around me, then relax. ‘Around three. Why?’

  ‘I never even knew my dad. Do you remember your mum much?’

  He thought for a moment. ‘Not really. I remember snatches, here and there. An old Romanian nursery rhyme she used to sing, the way she smelled of baking and roses – that kind of thing. But I don’t know what she looked like.’

  Nico hardly talked about his family at all, apart from when he needed to get away to do a job for his father. I hadn’t really noticed, because I kept the details of my home life pretty quiet too. But Megan had been quizzing me about him and had been surprised by how little I knew.

  ‘He’s the love of your life and you don’t know his dad’s name or what he does?’ she’d said, eyebrows raised. ‘I know Charlie’s mum’s middle name and we’re not even going out.’

  I’d stared at her, wondering how she could possibly have found that out. ‘Well, no.’

  ‘Aren’t you curious? I would be, especially since Nico works for him.’