Suzy leaned back in her chair, mouth gaping in shock.
“Word has it he married her out in Ohio.”
“Seriously? I don’t believe it!” Suzy blurted.
“Who else could she be?”
“Maybe it’s his sister.”
“He doesn’t have a sister….”
“Well, how about another female relative? Like an aunt or cousin?”
Colleen shook her head. “To be honest, I did something horrible. Since no one’s heard from him, I went over to his house to tidy-up, get his mail and all. And there were lots of letters from a woman named Lottie, and a heart was always drawn on the back of the envelopes.”
“What?” Suzy pounded the desk. “What a jerk! And he’s Amish, for Pete’s sake. And I thought Amish were upright and Hezekiah a man of honor!”
Colleen could hold in the tears no more, and let them fall on the scarf, half knit. “He was the first man I trusted in a romantic way, too.”
Suzy shot up. “You watch the shop. I’m going over and having words with him.”
Colleen put up an arm, blocking Suzy in the corner. “No. We Amish don’t settle things like that.”
“I am not Amish.” Suzy took Colleen’s shoulders and squeezed them. “And honey, you have a heart. One that is broken. Why are you acting so pious? Like a martyr?”
Colleen stomped one foot as more tears fell. “Because I’m learning to be a pacifist and right now, I want to go over and slap him.” A nervous twitch kept her left eyelid fluttering. “I’m trying to accept that I am Mary Lennox, a girl not wanted by her parents and tries to find happiness in a new place…”
She shook uncontrollably and soon felt Suzy’s embrace. “I’m so sorry. I bet The Secret Garden was hard for you to read while going through this.” She took Colleen’s hands. “Sit down, honey. Want some tea?”
Colleen obeyed but declined tea and resumed her knitting, very mechanically. “Hezekiah was as sweet as Dickon in the book. Everything about him was so sincere.”
“Well, it’s all very shocking,” Suzy said. “Did he ever try to contact you?”
Colleen shook her head. “No, not one letter.”
Suzy leaned forward, eyes pensive. “This doesn’t make any sense. If he was upset that you and Clark were dancing, getting the wrong idea, Granny would say that that reaction meant jealousy. I’m thinking he got mad because he loves you. But then he’s writing to another woman?”
Colleen put a hand up. “Can we change the subject? I mean, the more I talk about it, it hurts.”
“Alright, honey. But do you mind if I go over and talk to Hezekiah? Remember, even though you’re Amish, I’m still like your mom, jah?”
Colleen gave a faint smile as Suzy used an Amish accent. “You are like my mom. And because of that, you can be like a mother bear and might hurt him. So, no, don’t go over. Let’s just move forward.”
~*~
Fannie plunged the hand spade into the soil and dropped in three seeds. Zucchini always needed to be planted with three seeds, and for the first time, she wondered why. Was there some type of scientific reason? She stared at the seeds, and thought what the Bible said about a three strand cord being not easily broken. Granny had told her this over and over, that women were like thin strands of string, able to break, but when spun together, strong.
She felt pressure rise into her cheeks as she recalled the advice Granny gave to her and her mamm concerning their strained relationship. “Where you tend a rose, a thistle cannot grow.” This line from The Secret Garden had made Fannie cringe at first and get rather defensive, thinking Granny had deserted her and was on her mamm’s side. But, as usual, Granny saw through her and reaffirmed her love for her.
Fannie turned to see her mamm holding Anna, her precious baby girl, as they made their way out into the hot spring morning. “Does she need to nurse?” Fannie asked.
“Nee, we just thought we’d come out and keep you company,” Mona said.
Fannie looked again at the three seeds in the hole. Lord, help me. I’m willing to obey. “Mamm, have you planted many zucchini this year?”
“Ach, nee. I don’t have a green thumb, like you.”
Fannie remembered all the years she and her sister tended the garden while her mamm hid herself upstairs in her bedroom, too depressed to leave it. She had a green thumb out of necessity. But, maybe she wouldn’t have such a knack with plants if her mamm was as capable as others. “Mamm, why don’t we share a garden? I’ll be Dickon, the one who could make anything grow, and you could be Mary…” Fannie almost said, Mary Mary quite contrary, but held her tongue. Such a joke would not be taken well.
“I’d like that, but only if you can put up with a contrary Mary.”
Fannie slowly turned and looked up at her mamm. “You know I didn’t mean to imply that.”
“I know. But Dickon did help Mary, and she was a self-centered little girl. I’ve been a self-centered old woman.”
“You’re not even fifty.”
“You get my meaning, Fannie.”
Fannie didn’t know if the awkwardness around her mamm would ever end, but they were on a new path, and hopefully with new results. The thought of her sister, Eliza, her mamm’s favorite daughter, came to Fannie. “Do you want to include Eliza in this garden? We have lots of room and she doesn’t live far.”
Mona kissed her grandkinner’s cheek. “Nee, just you and me. We have some thistles to pull out, jah? And I can see Anna more. Have one on one time with her.” She kissed Anna again. “Fannie, I was thinking that with you having the store and all, I could watch her more often.”
Self-pity threatened to dig into Fannie. The love she’d always wanted from her mamm was given to her kinner so freely, but with her, it was work. She thought of Mary Lennox, the poor unloved girl in The Secret Garden. Fannie had such pity for her and understood why she was unable to love others. Her mamm’s story was so similar, so why couldn’t Fannie pity her? Granny said it was hurt and pride mixed together. Jah, she was hurt and needed time to grieve the fact that she basically raised her own mamm. But pride because she thought if she was in her mamm’s shoes, she’d have acted better. Not been so indulgent into her own wants and needs, not even paying attention to her, only Eliza. Would this pain ever go away?
“Well, you talk it over with Melvin,” Mona said in a defeated tone.
“What?”
“You didn’t say anything when I asked about babysitting Anna while you helped in the store.”
Fannie covered the seeds with soil and stood up. “Mamm, I’d be happy for your help. And since you make pies better than Granny, how about you help me bake for the benefit auction?”
Mona’s eyes became so soft and tender, Fannie was taken back. She’d never seen such an emotion come from her mamm’s heart out through her eyes. Was it love?
“Honey, I should have taught you many things, but I was like Scrooge, only thinking of myself.”
“Who’s Scrooge?” Fannie asked.
Mona gasped. “Ach, don’t tell Jeb, but I read A Christmas Carol. I know he didn’t want us to, since there’s ghosts in it and all, but when I saw the change it made in Missy, I knew I had to read it. Serenity Book Nook lent me a copy.”
Fannie looked at her mamm who tried to appear perfect in all ways to others, and for some reason, she seemed so much more human for revealing this secret. Fannie suddenly couldn’t hide her mirth, and started to laugh.
“Promise you won’t tell Jeb!” Mona said evenly. “I’ve never disobeyed one iota of what a Bishop has said, and I’ll repent if necessary, but I just had to read it.”
Fannie looked at the woman who she tried to please her whole life, and she saw a flawed woman. “Ach, mamm, we’re all hopelessly flawed, like Jo in Little Women.”
Mona looked at her demurely. “So you won’t tell? And you don’t think less of me?”
Fannie ran over to embrace her mamm. “You’re being transparent, Mamm. Ach, how can I love or even know someone wh
o can’t confide in me their faults? It’s why Granny and I are so close.”
Mona kissed Fannie’s cheek. “Well, I’m not jealous of Deborah, I mean, Granny, anymore. But you can tell me your faults and I’ll share all mine. Enough to fill a wheelbarrow, I dare say.”
As Fannie held her mamm’s embrace, her heart became as warm as this fine spring morning.
~*~
Ruth watched a robin laden with hay in her beak, making a nest in the tree between her house and her parents. She thought of Mary Lennox being led by a robin into a secret garden, which eventually led her to true friends. People who really loved her.
Her eyes scanned the vast backyard and she noticed her mamm was hanging laundry. Her mamm. A woman who had been helping with her Little Debbie. And when others implied that it was somehow a sad thing to have a Down Syndrome granddaughter, how her mamm would go on and on about how very special Debbie was.
But have I ever told my mamm how special she is? Taking us into their dawdyhaus so that Luke could be watched, having been so verbally abusive. How patiently they waited for him to change and never bringing up his past sins? Her daed teaching Luke carpentry so they could work side-by-side…No, she never actually said thank you. The English did all the time, but the Amish just showed their love, not being so verbal.
Ruth observed her mamm was headed back to her house, and she called out to her, “Mamm, do you have time for some pie?”
“Ach, jah. For a few minutes. I wanted to get in some plants in my kitchen garden.”
As her mamm walked towards her, she thought of poor Mary Lennox, a girl who was never loved by her parents. The new foster home the Baptists were opening was something she’d like to be involved in. Give the love she’d received so freely from her parents to others in need. Would Jeb allow it? Ruth stifled a laugh. Of course he would. He was married to Granny, who regularly took pies to Forget-Me-Not Manor, and stayed and talked to the homeless mothers.
“Is everything alright, Ruth? Need to talk?” her mamm asked.
“Jah, I do. Come on in and have some strawberry rhubarb pie. Fresh from the garden.”
“Now, that’s a treat.”
Ruth motioned for her mamm to sit down at her table and took the pie out of her icebox. “Want me to warm it up?”
“Nee. Such a bother to get the stove stoked.” She grinned. “We don’t have those fancy microwaves like the English, jah?”
“It’s not any trouble. The oven’s still warm from breakfast.”
“Okay. Have any vanilla ice cream while you’re pampering me so?”
Ruth turned and tears filled her eyes. “Mamm. I have something to tell you, but I can’t find words.”
“Something is wrong with Debbie?”
Ruth slid the stoneware plate into the oven and sat across from her mamm. “I’ve been seeing things lately. Mona was jealous of Fannie’s relationship with Granny, until she got to know Granny better.”
“Which I find odd, to say the least.”
Ruth shifted. “Jah, me too. But it seems like Mona’s been hiding some problems she’s had for a long while and it all surfaced at the circle.”
“Well, we don’t judge, jah? Now, what did you want to tell me?”
Ruth felt her hands grow sweaty. Why was it so hard to tell someone so close that you loved them? She took a deep breath, looked into her mamm’s eyes, and said, “Mamm, I love you.”
The crow’s feet around her mamm’s eyes, indented all the more into laugh lines. The joy on her mamm’s face was undeniable. “Ach, Ruth, danki.”
Ruth grabbed her hands. “I’m sorry I’ve never said it before. Or thank you for helping me with Luke and now Debbie.”
Tears were now sliding down her mamm’s cheeks, so she withdrew her handkerchief from her apron pocket and covered her face.
“I didn’t want to make you cry,” Ruth said. “I know, I should have said it sooner.”
Her mamm blotted both eyes and then beamed. “I’m sorry. Wasn’t expecting such praise.”
Ruth got the pie out of the oven and placed it in front of her mamm. “Mamm, I’ve learned so much from Granny and my English friends. We Amish don’t say what we feel, always trying to show it.”
Ruth’s mamm grinned. “Maybe I should join this knitting circle of yours. You used to be like a little bird, never really leaving the nest. I had to shoo you out as a kinner, remember?”
Ruth laughed. “Jah, I was a timid one.”
“You’re a deep, sensitive woman who has become my…”
“What?”
“Best friend.”
Ruth ran around the table and embraced her mamm. “And you’re my best friend.” She squeezed her tight.
“We sound so English, jah?”
“Jah, we do, but it feels goot,” Ruth said, her heart brimming over with happiness.
~*~
Marge stomped into one of the five upstairs bedrooms of the farmhouse being remodeled by the Baptists, and upon seeing Clark, growled, “Can we talk?”
The electrician, who was bent over, working on an outlet, slowly stood up, eyes wide as saucers. “Should I leave?”
“Unless you want to witness a murder,” Marge fumed.
Clark rolled his eyes. “Marge, I told you, I cannot be two people. Can’t paint and plow up fields at the same time.”
“This has nothing to do with… work!”
The electrician put up both hands as if in a stick up. “I’m out of here. Let me know when it’s safe to return.” At that he darted from the room.
“Marge, why the dramatics?” Clark asked wryly.
Marge clenched her fists and remembered she was a good Christian woman, and closed her eyes and tried to count to ten, but only made it to five. “You ruined Colleen’s life! Lizzie just told me all about it.”
“About what? Hey, she’s the one who chose to be Amish.”
“I’m not talking about Colleen becoming Amish. And there’s nothing wrong with being Amish. Well, except when you’re a complete wimp.”
Clark’s dark eyes registered complete confusion. He got two chairs, sat in one and patted the other. “Sit down. Calm down. And slow down! I don’t know what you’re even talking about.”
Marge reluctantly obeyed. “Lizzie told me she doubts that Colleen and Hezekiah will be getting married.”
Clark rubbed his clean-shaven chin. “I didn’t think it would work.”
“You made it not work!”
“Now how did I do that?”
Marge gripped the bottom of her chair. “You flirted with Colleen and Hezekiah saw it. Yinz dancing to jazz. Remember?”
Clark looked up, staring at the ceiling. “Vaguely. I mean, Colleen and I goofed around a lot.”
“Well Amish people don’t. And Hezekiah ran like a girl. A wimp!”
Clark smirked. “Where to?”
“Ohio, to a sweetheart I guess, because she’s living here now.”
“And?”
“And the Amish don’t live together before marriage, like we don’t. Hello, they got married!”
A glint crossed Clark’s face. “So, Colleen’s not engaged anymore.”
“She’s an Amish heartbroken girl is what.”
Clark fidgeted his fingers. “Now, I don’t like to hear that.”
“Really?”
“Really. Colleen and I got real close, both having similar struggles. I care about her, Marge. Just too much and she didn’t feel it in a romantic way, like I did.” He got up and started to pace the floor. “Is there anything I can do?”
Marge looked at Clark with new eyes. He really did care for Colleen in an unselfish way. Marge got up and put a hand on his shoulder. “I judged you wrongly. You do care for her.”
“Sure do. She’s pure goodness. And when I hitchhiked up here, she was my first real friend. And when you’re on the road, being homeless, loneliness can be the most painful thing, not the cold and lack of food.”
Marge went to one of the windows, looking down at
the vacant yard. Was this true? Loneliness was worse than being hungry or cold? Being a mother figure for the boys who came to the house really was important. She looked over at Clark. “Do you think we’ll make a difference in the children’s lives that come here?”
Clark met her at the window and looked out, too. “They need stability.” He elbowed her playfully. “You’ll need to work on that.”
“Oh, hush up. I was upset.”
“You scared the electrician right out of here…”
Marge pursed her lips to hide her grin. Clark did have a way of joking that lightened life up. No wonder Colleen was attached to him. Marge looked over at Clark and wondered what he’d look like in Amish clothes and a beard. Was he the one for Colleen? Would he convert for her? Would Colleen forsake her baptismal vows and become English again? People do make mistakes….
“What are you thinking?” Clark asked.
“Of a plan. I think Granny’s rubbing off on me.”
“In what way?”
“Oh, ah, she likes to see people happy and… spun together, as she calls it.”
~*~
As much as Granny loved watching her granddaughters, she was relieved when she saw Lizzie and Roman’s buggy coming down her long driveway. Granny went out on her porch and waved. Roman brought the buggy to a halt. “Isn’t Daed back yet?”
“Nee. It’s rather odd, but so is this whole ordeal with Hezekiah. You didn’t find out anything further?”
Lizzie and Roman both shook their heads.
“Jeb left after breakfast, and now it’s almost time for knitting circle.”
“Which road did he take?” Roman asked.
“His usual, I suppose. But then again, it’s spring and he does like to stroll around on dirt roads.”
“But it’s so muddy. Ach, maybe he got stuck or broke a wheel.” Roman put his hand on Lizzie’s back. “I need to go search for him.”
Lizzie kissed his cheek, and got out of the buggy. “Mamm, are you alright?”
Granny was always amazed at how selfless Lizzie was. Not only had she become a wunderbar goot stepmother, but one who took care of her handicapped daed, and now, hovering over Jeb and herself in their old age. “I’m fine. You go on and tend to the girls.”
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 82
