“Are you sure?”
“Jah. I have some casting off to do.”
Concern etched all over Lizzie’s face. “Me, too. When I woke up this morning, I had a foreboding type feeling I just can’t chase away. Awfully concerned about Colleen and I need to cast her on Him.”
“Jah,” Granny agreed. “And that’s what I need to do, too.” She gave Lizzie a faint smile and went back into her house. With the blackberry cobbler made for knitting circle along with cold root beer, she went over to her rocker and closed her eyes.
Lord,
Something is not right and I feel it so keenly. The sweet scent of my roses don’t even cheer me up. I’m so concerned for Colleen. I’ve watched her over these past few weeks, being a baptized member of our Gmay. She’s so faithful, and You honor those who honor You. How can this be if Hezekiah’s gone off to marry someone else?
Lord, I really don’t feel like having knitting circle today, but going back to bed. But I am Your hands and feet to serve anywhere You see fit, and for some reason, You’ve chosen for me to be hospitable and loving to my women friends. To make us stronger together. For that I’m thankful, but I just am so tired, and need Your strength and a mind free from fretting. Help me, Lord.
Amen
~*~
Granny looked around the circle, feeling comfort as Marge started to share what she got out of The Secret Garden. Feeling totally forgiven and whole inside, being haunted by an abortion she had while a teen, made her aspire to be like Susan Sowerby, the saintly woman who had a cottage full of children, yet became like a mother to other children in need. Granny was watching a miracle, and she gave thanks.
But she couldn’t help but meet Colleen’s eyes. Colleen looked like a wounded bird, one wing broken. And Lizzie’s absence, having to stay home to watch the girls, only highlighted the fact that Roman wasn’t home yet. So, something happened to Jeb.
Suzy nodded to Granny. “What did you get out of the book?”
Granny knit a few stitches before looking around the room. “Well, we’re led in little steps is what I got. Mary Lennox was a hurt child who couldn’t trust anyone, but she started to trust a robin, of all things. She also found healing in the garden, seeing all of God’s creation. It’s almost like she could see the nature of God, well, through nature.” She resumed her knitting. “So animals and nature are goot for people.”
Suzy spoke up, a lilt in her voice. “I agree. Spring is a time when I’m outside a lot getting colors for my yarn. Who’s a better artist than God? And, like you said, it shows His nature.” She looked over at Ruth. “You look like you have something to say about that robin, you bird lover.”
Ruth grinned. “I liked how real the robin was made out to be, as if it has a personality of its own.” She opened her book to where the bookmark lay. “Listen to this:
“The robin flew from his swinging spray of ivy on to the top of the wall and he opened his beak and sang a loud, lovely trill, merely to show off. Nothing in the world is quite as adorably lovely as a robin when he shows off - and they are nearly always doing it.”
Praise for spring, bird’s nests being built all around Smicksburg, and new baby farm animals resonated around the room. All seemed to be euphoric about the season, except Colleen, who never lifted her eyes from her knitting.
“Oh,” Janice said, “I think the Doxology being sung by Collin when he couldn’t explain why he was so happy at the end, floored me.”
“What’s the Doxology?” Fannie asked.
“Oh, you know.” Janice sang in her deep mellow voice.
“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
“Praise Him, all creatures here below;
“Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
“Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.”
Hands clapped when she finished and Mona swiped a tear. “That was beautiful. And I see life that way now, too, not being a hypochondriac.” She put her arm around Fannie. “It took this girl to show me that. She was like Mary Lennox telling Collin, ‘You don’t have a lump in your back. You won’t be a hunchback. Get outside and enjoy life.” Mona turned to Fannie. “Hysterics makes lumps.”
Fannie was clearly shocked. “What?”
“You know, in the book when Collin thinks he’ll die from being a hunchback and Mary examines his back, saying he has no lumps, no sign of being a hunchback. Well, you got this hysterical woman who was afraid of life to come to this circle.” Mona’s chin started to quiver and then her body followed suit. She grabbed Fannie around the neck. “Danki, my dear daughter.”
Granny noticed tears in Fannie’s eyes. Cleansing tears. Praise be.
Again, Granny eyed Colleen who didn’t say a word. “Colleen, you didn’t like the book the second time you read it?”
She shook her head. “Made me realize I am Mary Lennox. The part in the book that said her mother and father had no time for her, only going to parties, well, that’s my life.”
Suzy nudged Colleen who sat next to her. “Remember, I’m your mom…”
Janice leaned forward. “Yes, Colleen. You have many mothers here, although Suzy thinks she owns you.” She winked at Suzy. “Even though you’re Amish now, I’m still here for you.”
“And everyone in the Gmay is there for you as well,” Granny added. “We are family, jah?”
Colleen shrugged her shoulders. “Yes, I suppose.”
Maryann put her yarn down in her lap. “Colleen, count your blessings.”
Colleen’s head snapped up, her eyes narrow. “Count my blessings? When I thought I was going to get married and my fiancé loves another woman?”
Suzy defended Colleen. “Yes, Maryann, she needs to mourn, not count her blessings.”
Undaunted, Maryann opened her book and read:
“At that moment a very good thing was happening to her. Four good things had happened to her, in fact, since she came to Misselthwaite Manor. She had felt as if she had understood a robin and that he had understood her; she had run in the wind until her blood had grown warm; she had been healthily hungry for the first time in her life; and she had found out what it was to be sorry for someone.
“Colleen, while battling cancer I had no appetite and now I thank God that I do. I didn’t see anything to be thankful for until I was reminded by some in this circle that giving thanks, counting blessings, is the most powerful thing to do. Yes, it is hard, but the more you give thanks, the more things you notice to give thanks for.” Maryann’s eyes welled with tears. “I am so sorry things didn’t work out with Hezekiah and you are in my prayers, but do try to see what God is trying to say during this valley you’re in.”
The air seemed fragile after Maryann’s words and no one wanted to break the silence.
Colleen attempted a smile. “Maybe you’re right, Maryann. I thank God for you all.”
A horse neighed and Granny jumped from her chair and ran to the window. “Praise be, it’s Jeb and he’s alright.”
“Was he in danger?” Suzy asked.
“Well, he was out all day and didn’t come home for the noon meal.”
“You need a cell phone,” Janice stated offhandedly. “Oops,” she was quick to say. “Sorry, I forget sometimes you’re Amish.
~*~
Jeb ran into the knitting circle, pulling Colleen into the kitchen, motioning Granny to join him. What on earth? Granny excused herself and joined Jeb and Colleen. Jeb’s eyes were swollen and she knew he had been crying. “Jeb, what’s wrong?”
Jeb, obviously shaken, took his chair at the head of the table. Granny ran to the icebox and put a glass of iced tea in front of him.
Jeb patted the table, asking Colleen to sit down. After Colleen obeyed, he took her hand. “Dear one, Hezekiah has been in a mighty bad car accident. He got word that there was a fire in Millersburg, and left without saying a word to anyone.”
“What? When did it happen? Is he alright?” Colleen demanded in rapid succession.
“Well, he came out of a coma,
but his memory isn’t working. Didn’t know me.”
“Does he have any broken bones?” Granny asked. “I mean, was his head the only thing hurt?”
“He has busted ribs, but thank God no internal bleeding. He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and flew through the front window, head first.”
“Oh my!” Colleen nearly screamed. “Can I see him?”
“That’s why I came over. Knew you’d be here. Maybe he’ll recognize you. Like I said, he doesn’t know me.” Jeb blinked rapidly as tears fell onto his cheeks.
Colleen looked over at Granny as if in shock, then reached for her and Granny ran to her as Colleen collapsed into her arms and wept.
~*~
Colleen trembled as she got out of Jeb’s buggy, and Granny undergirded her with one arm. A beautiful woman greeted them at the door, her eyes blue as forget-me-nots, a twist of strawberry-red hair curling out from under her kapp. Colleen’s stomach flipped as she wondered who this woman was. Obviously, Lottie, the woman from Millersburg who sent him letters with hearts on the back.
“Goot to see you again,” she said to Jeb.
Jeb tipped his straw hat. “Lottie, this is my wife, Deborah, and this is Colleen, the girl you asked for.”
Lottie gripped Colleen’s hand. “Ach, Hezekiah has written to me about you.”
Colleen put her head down, said a quick prayer for strength. She was here to help Hezekiah, whether he cared for her or not. Colleen met Lottie’s sad eyes. “Can I see Hezekiah?”
“Come on in. He may be sleeping, but rest will help him, I’m sure.”
She motioned for them to go back to the first floor bedroom, off the living room. Hezekiah lay in the twin bed pushed up against a window, the white curtains fluttering as a breeze filled the room with the scent of lilacs. As they walked closer to the bed, Hezekiah did not turn his head, but stared at the ceiling.
“Talk to him,” Lottie said, bringing up a wooden chair near the bed.
“Will he hear me?”
“The doctors said they don’t know,” Lottie explained, “but he needs all the stimulation he can get. I read to him at night, not knowing if he understands.”
Colleen brushed away the jealous feeling she had towards Lottie and sat in the chair. What she wanted to say, she didn’t want others to hear, so she asked if they could leave and she could be alone with him. After they exited the room, she got up, kissed his cheek, his forehead, his mouth. “I will always love you, Hezekiah. You are still the gentlest man I’ve ever known. You know all about my past, as you so patiently pulled it out of me. Every time I told you another story, your listening ears helped me release the poison in my soul, and I will always love you for that.”
He showed no movement. A fly landed on his cheek and he didn’t flinch.
“Hezekiah, do you smell the lilacs outside? Remember when you helped me plant all those flowers in our secret garden, and you said lilacs need sun? So we planted bleeding hearts, hostas, and creeping myrtle? Remember when we talked about the bleeding hearts, which led to our talk about me cutting myself to feel alive?” She bit back tears. “I feel alive now, in so many ways. I know God loves me but it took lots of people to help me see that. You helped me the most, along with Granny and Jeb.”
Colleen slumped in her chair and sorrow soon filled her until she wept again. She took her black apron up to her face to catch her tears, and let out all the agony in her heart. After a few minutes, she thought back to Pilgrim’s Progress, when Pilgrim was in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Pilgrim had to continue going through the valley until he saw the light again, and that’s just what she’d have to do, no matter how painful. Like Granny said, some squares on a quilt are black, but when combined with others, it made a nice pattern. This was a black spot in her life, but it wouldn’t last forever. One of her favorite Bible verses had become, Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. She said it over and over in her mind, meditating on each word, until she fell asleep in the chair.
~*~
Colleen jumped when someone touched her shoulder. When she opened her eyes, she saw Lottie leaning over her. “Do you want some tea? Something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine. Really.”
“Well, Jeb and Granny want to come in. Want to take a walk? Such a nice day.”
Colleen had just come out of a wonderful dream. She was marrying Hezekiah, who was healthy, and strong, and didn’t have a redheaded beauty hovering over him. “I’m really tired today. Don’t really feel like taking a walk.”
Lottie pulled her up by one hand. “Come on. It’s a surprise.”
Colleen resisted, but this woman had muscles. Was she a dairy farmer who hand-milked cows? Her grip was like a man’s. “Okay, if you insist.”
Lottie nearly skipped through the room and Colleen followed. Well, at least one of us is happy, Colleen thought.
When they got outside, Lottie stared down at her feet. “Aren’t you going to take them off?”
Colleen looked down. “On, no. I’m new to the Amish faith and all, but I wear shoes. Bees sting.”
Lottie laughed. “Come on. Take them off. It’s our way.”
Colleen wanted to turn around and run back into the house. Why was this woman so excited and acting so odd? “I’ll keep my shoes on.”
Lottie shrugged and then took her hand, pulling her around to the backyard. “Wait a minute. Can we walk?” Colleen asked.
“Ach, jah, we can. I get excited. Mamm says I’m mighty high-spirited, but Hezekiah always liked that about me.”
“Oh,” Colleen said, feeling her heart sink into her feet. “Have you known Hezekiah long?”
“Since I was in diapers. We grew up like brother and sister. Hezekiah doesn’t have a sister, so he adopted me as one when we were wee ones. He never told you about me?”
“No,” Colleen said evenly, wondering how much more she could endure this conversation.
“But we write back and forth. I’m surprised…” Lottie took her hand again and pulled her. “Let’s run.”
Colleen had no choice as she felt her arm would pull from its socket if she resisted. They ran down a path in the woods behind Hezekiah’s and they soon came to a large rock garden. Colleen put her hand over her heart. “Oh, it’s full of shade plants. How beautiful.”
“We have more bulbs and plants to put in.”
This remark bit Colleen, so she bit back. “Does Hezekiah make gardens with all his girls?”
Lottie frowned. “I don’t know. But I know this one is for you.”
Colleen searched Lottie’s blue eyes. “What are you saying?”
“He’s been working on this forever. Said it was a wedding present for you. I’ve sent him so many of my heirloom seeds, he said I should try selling them. I always put a heart on the back of each envelope so he knows it’s from me and contains precious seeds. One time he threw out the little pouch I enclosed, not seeing it.”
Colleen raised a hand to stop her chatter. “Wait. Why are you saying that this garden is for me?”
Lottie’s eyes narrowed. “Colleen, I have a feeling there’s a big misunderstanding. I’m Hezekiah’s cousin and I know you’re new to the Amish and all, but we don’t marry first cousins, like the English think.”
Colleen stared at her. “His cousin? But you put hearts on his letters?”
“Like I said. We don’t marry cousins and –”
“I know that.” Colleen let out a gasp. “Oh, so you’re his cousin with the green thumb. Yes, he has talked about you.”
Lottie smiled. “You thought I was his girl?”
“Yes, I did.”
Lottie leaned over and laughed. “Ach, I needed some goot humor. Nee, he’s like my brother.” She looped her arm through Colleen’s. “He loves you ever so much and wanted to marry you in a garden. Most unusual, but he said it was something between you two.”
Colleen gulped as her mouth grew dry. “Hezekiah, he is too good for me.”
Granny ran towards th
em, and then put both hands on her knees, leaning over, gasping for air.
“What’s wrong?” Colleen squealed.
“Hezekiah’s trying to talk.”
~*~
Colleen ran into Hezekiah’s room, quick to notice that his eyes were moving around, ever so slightly. “Hezekiah, I’m here.” She took his hand, kissed his cheek and smiled at him. “I’m here.”
His eyes portrayed little emotion, but Colleen thought she saw fear. He attempted to talk, but could only make out guttural sounds.
“I saw the garden,” Colleen said, impervious to what she saw before her. Faith is the evidence of things not seen. She would talk to Hezekiah until he was whole again. “The garden is so beautiful, and I see you had many bleeding hearts planted.” She kissed his cheek, and then the story of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White came to her mind. Even though she was Amish and could no longer read fairy tales, she had them memorized. A kiss by their true love had woken them up…
She turned to Jeb who was in the room. “Could you leave us alone for a while?”
Jeb nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Colleen planted her lips on Hezekiah’s, hoping they would wake him up so they could have a fairy tale happily ever after life together.
~*~
The next morning, at the crack of dawn, Janice pulled into Hezekiah’s farm, and the women from the knitting circle spilled out. Colleen directed them to the back of the house where the garden shed stood and told them all to take a hand spade, shovel, hoe or whatever they could find. Lottie ran out to meet them, and when Granny saw the girl, she marveled at her beautiful red hair. With no men around, it hung down her back, her head only covered with a plain black bandana.
Lottie chattered on about the new garden as she led them through the path and into the area where they would spend the morning planting, weeding, and watering. A dry spell had left some areas nearly brown, even in the shade. “I smell rain,” Lottie said, as she went from plant to plant, saying its name, function in herbal medicine if it had one. Granny wondered if the girl had time to breathe she babbled on so. And this is Hezekiah’s cousin? Calm and cool Hezekiah? Granny thought.
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 83
