Enter the Zombie

by David Lubar

“And you’re pretty good at Skee-Ball, too.”

  “For sure. I can hit those fifties with my eyes closed.” He closed his eyes and made a rolling motion.

  I looked over at Abigail. She was staring at me like she knew what was coming but couldn’t bring herself to believe it. “Are you okay?” I asked her. “You can go outside, away from the fire. Mookie and I can handle this.”

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Do what you need to do.”

  “Take my head and roll it up to the flower,” I told Mookie.

  His eyes shot open. “What?”

  I pointed at my neck. “I did the hard part. I cut it off. You just have to bowl a perfect throw.”

  He reached for my head, then froze.

  “You can do it,” I said. “Aim for the stems.”

  “What if I mess up?” Mookie said. “I’m always messing up. I’m the one who got you splashed. You’re dead because of me. Ever since then, all I’ve been able to do is come up with crazy ideas that don’t help. And now, I’m going to mess you up forever. I’ll get your head stuck up there, and you’ll never talk to me again.”

  I was going to tell him to calm down. But that was pointless. I’d never seen anyone calm down just because someone told them to.

  “Calm down,” Abigail said.

  “I’m trying!” Mookie screamed. He blinked his eyes a couple of times. The smoke was starting to bother him.

  I knew he’d do it sooner or later. But he had to do it right now. He might have said he could hit the 50’s with his eyes closed, but I definitely needed him to do this with his eyes open. I had a feeling they were about to open wider than they’d ever been before. I reached up and grabbed my hair, then lifted my head and held it out to him.

  Come on, Mookie. Don’t freeze up now. Smoke was already swirling around our ankles. I saw flickers of flame lighting up the basement.

  He reached out and took my head.

  It was hard to keep my balance. I saw the world move below me, and then it rose as Mookie lowered my head. He was shaking now. I could tell because everything I saw was vibrating back and forth. I had to find some way to get him to calm down. I didn’t have a chance to reach the flower if he stayed this nervous.

  Got it!

  I knew what to do. “It’s the tenth and final frame,” I said, trying to sound like a sports announcer who was keeping his voice half-hushed. That was easy, because I didn’t seem to be able to talk very loudly right now. I was just happy I could talk at all. I kept going. “The Mookster has already rolled nothing but strikes. This is the very last ball of the game. One more strike, and he’s bowled a perfect game.”

  The vibration slowed from a frantic buzz to a gentle rattle. Good. I just needed to keep his mind distracted. “Not only will this win him the championship, but it will also let the human team defeat the dreaded alien Gargazols who came here to challenge humanity for the universal bowling title. The president has promised the Mookster a lifetime supply of chili-cheese dogs if he can pull off this stunning victory.”

  Everything moved forward. Mookie took a step. And then another. The world rushed past my face as he swung his arm back. And then I was flying. Spinning and flying. I waved my arms to keep my balance. Then I dropped to my knees. My brain didn’t seem to understand that it had left my body. My head rolled across the slanted floor, going up toward the second story. I opened my mouth and got ready to snag one of the flowers. The roll slowed as I moved higher. I could see glowing flashes of silver. I was almost there. If I messed up now …

  No. Stop that!

  I’d been through too much. I’d done too much. I’d fought enemy spies and survived monsters. I could certainly clamp my teeth on a flower. That was easy.

  Steady.

  One more rotation …

  Snap!

  I shut my jaws, clamping my teeth over the stem of one of the blooming animus flowers. After my experience in the lab, where the flower had withered, I knew I couldn’t touch the blossom. Not even with my mouth. But Mookie had made a perfect toss. My head dangled over the edge of the flowerpot.

  “Did you get it?” Mookie called.

  I almost answered. But I managed to keep my mouth shut. Now I just had to get the flower to Abigail. I used my back teeth to chew at the stem on the side away from the flower. After a moment, the stem broke, and my head fell back to the slanted floor.

  It was definitely interesting to watch. I’d rolled down hills before—lots of times. And way back when I was five, I’d fallen down a flight of stairs. But I’d never taken a trip, or seen one, like this.

  When I reached the bottom, Mookie snatched me out of the smoke. It was up to our knees now.

  “You got it!” Abigail said. She grabbed the flower from my mouth. “Let’s get outside. I’ll put it into the bottle,” she told Mookie. “You glue his head back on.”

  Oh, boy … I’d tried not to think about that part. This was really going to hurt. But if Abigail was right, it would be the last time I would have to feel the pain of the bone glue.

  After I stopped screaming, I looked at my watch. It was past five. I’d missed my meeting with RABID.

  When we left the exhibit hall, which was nearly filled with smoke now, Abigail held up the bottle. “The flower has to steep in the liquid until it dissolves, and you’ll have a cure.”

  “Once it’s ready, will it take long to work?” I asked.

  “No. Once it’s ready and you swallow it, the effect should be instantaneous,” she said.

  We passed through the gate. Then I forced my way back through the bushes.

  We weren’t alone.

  As I stepped out, I almost ran right into the guy I’d pushed into the river. He looked wet and angry.

  “Hand it over,” he said.

  He also looked familiar. Actually, double familiar. I’d seen him before—wearing a gas mask in the lab I’d destroyed. I recognized his bald head and beady eyes. But he was also familiar in another way. Not like someone I’d seen—but like someone I’d heard described. I remembered Zardo’s words when I’d asked him who had given him the corpse flower.

  He was bald with brown eyes. I definitely remember his ears. They were tiny.

  He’d also told me the man had an Eastern European or Mediterranean accent. It all matched. This wasn’t just the guy who’d grown the corpse flower. He was also the guy who’d killed me. No matter what else had happened, he was the one who brought the corpse flower to Zardo. He was behind all the bad stuff RABID did with plants. I’d destroyed his plants, but it looked like he was trying to replace them. If he could make and cure zombies at will, he could do all sorts of awful things.

  “I’m not playing around, little boy. Give it to me right now.”

  I gave it to him. I grabbed a fistful of my hair with one hand. The glue on my neck wasn’t set yet. I remembered the first time I’d glued my thumb back on. I’d moved my hand too soon afterwards, and the thumb had flown off. With a tug, I yanked my head back off my shoulders and thrust it forward. I shoved my head right in his face. At the same time, I opened my mouth, screamed, and stepped toward him. He backed away. Anyone would. Even the bravest person on the planet would have backed up automatically.

  And this guy wasn’t brave. Bullies rarely are. He staggered away from me, then stumbled backwards and fell right into the patch of agony vera.

  His scream was a lot louder than mine. He pushed himself to his feet, which was a mistake since both his hands got filled with the stickers. He fell again—on his stomach this time. I guess he was a slow learner, because he pushed himself back to his feet a second time, getting even more stickers in his hands.

  He looked like a porcupine. He spun around like he didn’t have a clue what to do, and managed to tumble off the side of the hill. I watched as he rolled all the way down to the river, crashing through lots more agony vera before he plunged into the water. He was still thrashing and screaming as he floated down the river. This time, it didn’t look like he’d be swimming back in o
ur direction any time soon.

  “He’s going to be doing nothing but scratching for the next two or three months,” Abigail said.

  “I had a dog like that once,” Mookie said.

  Abigail and Mookie helped glue my head back on. It hurt even worse this time, but it was worth it.

  With the cure safely bubbling away in Abigail’s purse, we headed back to the jet.

  “Let’s go home,” Abigail said.

  I couldn’t believe I was just hours away from being cured.

  19

  Gym Dandy

  Normally, I did whatever I could to find ways to pass each sleepless night. Tonight, I just lay in bed and thought about everything that had happened to me since I’d been splashed with Hurt-Be-Gone. I guess I could say my death flashed in front of my eyes. Except, it was more a crawl than a flash.

  When I got to school, Abigail rushed up to me. “It’s nearly ready.” She opened her purse and showed me the bottle. The flower petals were almost gone.

  When we got to home base, she peeked into her purse again. “Soon,” she whispered.

  The loudspeaker crackled. The secretary spoke. “Nathan Abercrombie, please report to the gym.”

  The gym?

  I didn’t like the sound of that. I glanced at Mookie. “Maybe you should make a run for it,” he said.

  That wouldn’t work. I would just have to deal with it. The cure would be waiting for me when I got back. I left the classroom and headed toward the gym.

  I was halfway down the hall when Rodney turned the corner.

  “There you are,” he said.

  I looked over my shoulder. Eddy was moving up from behind me. “We figured out your secret, freak.”

  Rodney grabbed my arm. Eddy rushed over and grabbed my other arm. Rodney poked me in the forehead. “It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

  “Let me go.”

  They dragged me to the gym. I tried to yank free, but I’d spent so many months watching out for my brittle bones before they’d been hardened that it wasn’t easy to force myself to yank my arms. Even if I did, I couldn’t break Rodney’s grip. I might have strong bones, but I still had zombie muscles.

  When we reached the gym, Rodney and Eddy held me against the wall. Mr. Lomux was there, standing next to a cart with a projector on it and a computer. There was a wire running from the computer to a thermometer. I recognized the equipment from science class.

  “You think you can walk around with living people?” he asked.

  “What are you talking about? I’m just a kid. Let me go.” I jerked hard and tried to pull free, but it was no use. I was pinned to the wall like a butterfly in a museum display.

  Mr. Lomux walked over to his office and picked up his phone. A moment later, I heard the loudspeaker again. “All students report to the gym.”

  “You can’t do this!” I shouted at him when he came back.

  “I can do whatever I want,” he said. “And when everyone finds out what sort of monster I’ve exposed, I’ll be a hero.”

  He turned on the projector. A moment later, I saw a readout of the thermometer on the screen.

  “I figured out we could use that,” Eddy said. “That was my idea. All mine. I’m still the smartest kid in school. You’ll see.”

  Kids filed in with their teachers. The gym door opened again. Principal Ambrose walked in. “What’s going on? Why did you call everyone here?”

  “To expose a monster.” Eddy pointed at me. “He’s a zombie. It all makes sense. We’ll prove it.”

  Mr. Lomux came over to me and held up the thermometer. I clamped my mouth shut.

  He grabbed my jaw. “Open up!”

  I struggled, but I couldn’t get away. I was afraid if I fought too hard, he’d tear the flesh right off my face. That would definitely prove his point. There’s nothing like a bare jawbone to get the attention of a zombie-hunting mob. Past him, I saw a couple of the teachers start to come toward us. I guess they wanted to stop him. But it would be too late. Once they saw I had no temperature, they’d know I was a zombie. Instead of rushing to help me, they’d run away in horror.

  “Wait!”

  Abigail burst from the crowd. She raised the bottle. The flower was dissolved now. The cure was ready. But there was no way Abigail could walk up and say she was giving me a zombie cure.

  Everyone turned toward her. A couple of weeks ago, they would have ignored her. But the contest had made a difference.

  “It’s true,” she said. “He’s a zombie! I’ve known it all along. I befriended him so I could gain his trust and expose him to the world.”

  What is she doing?

  She walked toward me. “I’ll prove it. Step away,” she said to Mr. Lomux. “He’s more dangerous than you realize. One bite, and you’ll be infected, too. We could all get infected.”

  There was something in her eyes, some sort of craziness that made him obey. He snatched his hand away from my face and moved back. Abigail stepped up to me and raised the bottle.

  “My greatest invention,” she said. “Zombie tint. It makes the undead turn bright red. How’s that for a catchy slogan? Turn the undead bright red.” She cackled like a mad scientist and thrust the bottle toward my lips. “There are zombies all around. Maybe even standing right next to you!”

  I saw all the kids in the crowd look around nervously.

  Abigail kept talking. “Until now, they were safe from detection. They could slink among us and spread their disease. No more. I’ve saved the planet. I’ll be rich!”

  She tilted the bottle. I drank the formula.

  Please work.

  My throat felt warm.

  “Behold!” Abigail cried, pointing at me. She stared for a second, frowned, then said, “He’s not red. I guess he’s not a zombie. Oh, well.” She shrugged, turned away, and walked off. But before she turned, she gave me a wink.

  My neck and head felt warm.

  Mr. Lomux stared at Abigail until she vanished back into the crowd. Then he jabbed the thermometer into my mouth. I didn’t resist.

  “See for yourself,” Mr. Lomux said. “He’s a zombie.”

  I watched the screen. The numbers moved.

  “Ignore that,” Mr. Lomux said. “The computer’s wrong.”

  Principal Ambrose walked over to me and pulled out the thermometer. He frowned down at it for a moment, then said, “Normal. Unlike everything else that’s going on here.”

  “No! He’s not normal. He’s dead!” Mr. Lomux screamed. Dozens of veins bulged on his bald head. He looked like he was wearing a gummy worm wig. “Stupid science stuff.” He hurled the thermometer against the wall. The glass shattered. “Ouch!” I felt a sharp pain stab at my cheek. Pain. Real pain.

  “Watch this!” Rodney flicked my ear.

  “Youch!” It hurt, but it stayed on. More pain. I was thrilled.

  “Release him at once,” the principal said.

  Rodney and Eddy let go of my hands. I reached up and touched my cheek, then looked at my fingers. Blood. Not a lot. It was just a scratch. But I was bleeding, just like any normal kid. Just like a living kid. Wonderful, warm, flowing blood. My cheek stung. My ear hurt. I’d never been so happy to feel pain.

  “Out!” Principal Ambrose yelled. “All three of you. Lomux—you’re fired. I’m calling the school board right now to start the paperwork. And you two—you’ll have detention for the rest of the year, after you come back from a week’s suspension. Both of you are in a huge amount of trouble.”

  Mr. Lomux, Rodney, and Eddy slunk out of the gym.

  Principal Ambrose turned to me. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah. I think so. Thanks.”

  “Go back to wherever you’re supposed to be. All of you.” He spun away and walked out of the gym. As the door closed behind him, I heard him mutter. “Let this year end. Please. Just let it end.”

  “You okay?”

  I turned around to see Mookie and Abigail coming toward me.

  “I’m good,” I said. I held up my
hand and wriggled the blood-spotted fingertip. “Flesh and blood. That was an amazing performance, Abigail.”

  “It was nothing. I just pretended I was Uncle Zardo. Acting is kind of fun.” She pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed at my cheek.

  “You did a really good job,” I said. “Even I thought you were crazy at first. But it worked. I’m alive.”

  Alive. Living. Not dead.

  The thought made me choke up. Wow. I could feel emotions. I really was alive. I took a deep breath. “That was so brave,” I told Abigail. “But everyone is going to think you’re totally weird.”

  “I’m used to that.” She touched the corner of my eye, then held up her finger. The tip was wet. “More signs of life.” She smiled. So did I.

  “So I guess life is back to normal,” Abigail said as we walked out of the gym.

  “For sure.” I punched the door to open it. The wood cracked. “Well, maybe not totally normal.”

  “What about Mr. Murphy?” Mookie asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “And I’m not looking forward to finding out.”

  20

  Spied Out

  I figured the summons would come with sparks or lasers. Maybe a swarm of robot ants would crawl up my wall and scorch a message into the paint, telling me where to meet him.

  Instead, I saw him on the sidewalk, right outside my house. I’m not even sure why I went to the window. Maybe I just sort of sensed him there. When I looked down, he looked back and pointed around the corner. I slipped out of bed and made my way to the street.

  “RABID was waiting for you last night. Everything was in place so we could track you to Baron von Lyssa. And you didn’t show up. I was afraid something bad had happened to you,” he said. “But you went to school this morning, like you always do.” He headed down the street. I followed him.

  “Something did happen,” I said. “But it was something good.”

  “Something better than bringing down RABID?”

  “For me,” I said.

  He kept walking. We went two blocks before he spoke again. “Only one thing comes to mind that would fit that description.”

  “I guess so.”