“I don’t mind walking. It’s not that far. I can’t take our buggy or Katie will have to walk home, and she will have dishes to bring back with her.”
“Would you mind if I walked with you? I don’t really want to hang around there anymore with my daed’s disapproving looks.”
Rose took the hand Noah offered, stood up and dusted off the back of her dress. “You have to face him eventually.”
They began to walk toward Goose pond where they both lived.
Noah sighed. “I tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t understand. He thinks I turned my back on my familye and the community.”
Rose looked at him as they walked slowly along the road. “I can see how he might think that. You said yourself that you were dead to them.”
“Jah, I did, and I was wrong. I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer lately, and Gott has shown me that leaving the community and turning my back on my faith was the worst thing I could have done to help myself heal from what happened. I have to find a way to get mei daed to see that I’m truly repentant.”
“Perhaps your constant presence in the community from here on out will let him see you are serious about your commitment, and he will accept it with time.”
“He hasn’t ever really approved of me. He always said I had a rebellious streak in me. I’m certain he is correct since I don’t like some of the rules we live by.”
Rose had always felt the same way, but had never dared voice the opinion to anyone. “My familye refers to me as independent, but what they really mean is rebellious. I am the same way.”
Noah smiled as he slipped his hand in hers, swinging her arm slightly as they walked along; the hot sun heating their backsides.
Chapter 19
By the time they reached her aenti Nettie’s small farmhouse, Rose had a better understanding of what Noah had gone through after Emma’s death. She knew it was best to be a friend to Noah, and be patient about the rest of it. She feared that if she pressed him for more he may withdraw even further from her, and he was finally talking to her again.
Noah walked her to the back door. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her. He’d missed her this past week that he’d been busy working on his return to the community. But the truth was, he didn’t trust himself not to get too caught up in her, and that wouldn’t be fair to her as long as he still had personal issues to work out. Instead, he reached up and placed a kiss on her forehead, hoping it would convey his feelings to her without going overboard. She responded with a sigh, and he hoped that meant she understood his position.
Noah stepped away from her and turned to leave. He waved over his shoulder while she stood there with a stunned look on her face. He didn’t want to leave her, but he had to—for both their sakes.
Rose felt her heartbeat catch in her chest as his lips touched her forehead. She was sure he would give her more than that, but to her disappointment, he hadn’t. She took that as his way of letting her know that they were indeed friends, and nothing more. When he’d held her hand as he walked her home, she’d hoped that it meant something, but it was obvious it didn’t. How was she supposed to go from a kiss as passionate as they had shared to accepting kisses on her forehead? As she watched him walk away, she felt like a dummkopf for thinking he could ever be interested in her for more than friendship.
****
Rose stretched on her tiptoes to reach the clothesline at the B&B so she could help Bess hang the bed linens they had washed. Her last load of personal wash was still hanging on the line at home, where it would be waiting for her after she finished work for the day. It was only three o’clock, and she was already exhausted. She’d tossed about most of the night worrying about Noah, even though she knew worrying would not change the situation.
Bess pinned the other end of the queen-size sheet to the clothesline. “Are you going to tell me what happened when Noah walked you home yesterday, or do I have to pull it out of you?”
Rose sighed with frustration. “There isn’t anything to tell.”
“I saw the two of you holding hands as you walked down the road. That’s something.”
Rose’s heart skipped a beat. “Did anyone else see?”
Bess picked up a pillow slip and pinned it to the line. “Nee, everyone had bowed their head for the prayer. By the time they lifted their heads, you were long down the road out of sight. Is that all you have to say about that?”
“There isn’t anything to tell. He only wants to be friends. He said so.”
Bess flashed her one of her unconvincing, crooked smiles. “Seems to me, a mann doesn’t hold a woman’s hand unless he likes her for more than friendship.”
“That was my way of thinking too, but then he kissed me on the forehead before he left. And he actually asked if we were friends. All he wants is friendship.”
Bess stopped what she was doing and peeked at Rose from behind the hanging linens. “And you want more than friendship?”
“Jah.”
Bess walked around between the laundry to face her. “Then you have to show him what it would be like to have more than that.”
Rose sighed again. “How am I supposed to do that?”
Bess smiled. “For starters, you need to give him an opportunity to miss you, and then you surprise him by doing something he wouldn’t expect.”
Rose was already feeling overwhelmed. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t go to the dock tonight. He expects that, and if you’re not there, he will have the chance to miss you.”
Rose hung up the last pillow slip. “He hasn’t met me there all week, so that won’t work.”
Bess laughed. “Just because he didn’t meet you doesn’t mean he didn’t know you were there. I saw him watching you. I could tell it was tearing him up not to meet you. But if you’re not there, it will make him wonder why,”
Rose couldn’t believe what Bess was saying. Was it possible that he was still interested in her?
“What is it that I can do that he won’t expect? Or was that it?”
Bess tried not to smile. “Ever since the accident with Emma, I’ve taken food over to Noah once a week and left it on his doorstep. I’m pretty sure he knew it was me, but he never came out of the haus until after I left. What if you took him a basket of food in the morning instead of me taking it?”
Rose picked up the laundry hamper and walked toward the back door with it. “That doesn’t sound like much.”
“My point is, Rose, that Noah won’t expect you to be delivering him a food basket. I haven’t even dropped one off in two weeks, so he won’t be expecting it at all. But when he sees that you have done this for him, it will soften his heart toward you, and might afford you the opportunity to talk to him.”
It all sounded too simple, but Rose was willing to give it a try if it meant she would have the chance to see Noah again. Truth be told, she wasn’t too keen on the idea of skipping her trip to the dock tonight, but she was of the mindset that she had nothing more to lose.
Chapter 20
Rose woke earlier than usual so she would have enough time to get over to the B&B to get the food basket from Bess so she could get it to Noah before he went about his day. She’d practically had to sit on her hands the night before so she wouldn’t be tempted to go to the dock with the hope of seeing Noah. She hoped Bess’s plan would work and Noah had noticed she wasn’t there and had missed her. She supposed she would find out soon enough.
As she pulled on a clean, purple dress, Rose eyed the attending dress she had worked on last night while Katie and Caleb sat on the porch swing talking of wedding plans. She was glad in a way that she’d stayed home to work on the dress, especially since she had made a lot of progress. Katie had already inquired why there wasn’t much done on the dress yet, and now she would be able to present her schweschder with a nearly finished product.
Rose tip-toed out of the haus so she wouldn’t disturb Katie. She wasn’t up for any questions about what she was doing or where she was goi
ng. She was a little nervous about Bess’s plan, but figured it might be the only way she could appeal to Noah’s heart.
When she arrived at the B&B, Bess had the basket already prepared. She’d packed it with half a dozen fresh eggs, a loaf of freshly-baked bread, cinnamon rolls, a bag of oats, a small bag of ground kaffi, a small bowl of freshly-picked strawberries, and a Mason jar filled with milk fresh from the morning milking. The basket was rather heavy, but Rose was determined to set out on foot to deliver it, despite Bess’s offer to use her buggy. It didn’t make sense when she could be half-way there in the time it would take to hitch up the buggy. Little did she know that she would end up feeling differently by the time she reached Noah’s doorstep. Sweat rolled down her back beneath her dress, but thankfully, the slight breeze had kept her face dry.
Rose hefted the large basket from her hip, where she’d rested it like a boppli, and set it on the porch step at the back of the haus. She admired the fresh coat of paint on the clapboard siding and the neatness of the porch. A wooden, folding chair sat in the corner near the rail, and a galvanized watering can contained freshly-picked hydrangeas in a variety of hues. It seemed like an odd thing to see on the porch of a mann’s haus, but she already knew him to be a sensitive, creative type. The yard had been cleared of debris and thick weeds to the point of resembling a roughly-cut lawn. It was apparent that Noah had been hard at work trying to resurrect his small farm haus to the point Rose thought it was beginning to look like a home.
She turned to leave, her thoughts of what it would be like to live in the small haus with Noah interrupted when the back door swung open.
“Won’t you stay and join me for a little breakfast?”
Noah’s deep voice caught Rose by surprise. She turned and searched his face for sincerity. Finding it, she smiled her answer, and then followed him into the small haus. It was apparent by the scant furniture and bare windows that there was still a lot of work to be done inside to make it look more like the outside, but it was still a comfortable space.
Noah offered her a chair at the small, round table in the kitchen. She wouldn’t admit to him that she’d left the haus without her own breakfast so she could bring him the basket of food, but the aroma from the still-warm cinnamon rolls was making her mouth water. Setting two mismatched plates on the table, Noah urged her to help herself to the food she’d brought for him.
“I see Aenti Bess has you running her errands for her now.”
All that time she’d been confiding in the older woman, and she’d not known the relationship between her and Noah. She felt her cheeks warm over embarrassment from going on like such a love-struck school-girl over Noah to his aenti. Why hadn’t Bess told her Noah was her nephew?
“Mei own vadder won’t speak to me, but Aenti has always been there for me. Even when I couldn’t help myself.”
Rose cleared her throat. “She told me that she’d been leaving baskets of food for you all this time, and when she asked me to do it for her this morning, I could hardly turn her down. But she didn’t tell me she was your aenti.”
“I’m not surprised. If I know Aenti Bess, she had ulterior motives for sending you over here. She probably has the notion if she throws us together we will fall in lieb.”
Rose’s heart fluttered all the way to her toes. “I haven’t known her long, but I enjoy working for her. She has a gut heart.”
Was it possible that Bess’s plan was working?
Noah served her a glass of milk and a cinnamon roll. She wondered what it would be like to be the one serving him a meal in this quaint little farm haus. She felt terrible sitting there allowing a mann to serve her, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Aenti Bess is mei mamm’s youngest schweschder. Mei daed always tried to keep me at a distance from her, but she was always my favorite aenti. Mei daed always said that because Aenti Bess was the youngest of the twelve kinner, that by the time she came along, her parents were too old to raise her properly and it caused her to develop a rebellious streak. I think that’s why I like her so much. She’s never judged me, even when I turned my back on the community. She helped me and didn’t pressure me to come back until I was ready, but she was there for me in the meantime. Knowing she was there for me is what kept me from slipping completely away from everyone. With mei mamm gone, I feel even closer to her.”
Rose hadn’t realized until now just how much loss Noah had endured in his life. She was grateful that Bess really loved her nephew. She felt suddenly right about her decision to confide in her, as it was obvious she did indeed have a very gut heart.
Chapter 21
“Katie is NOT going to be happy when she finds out Jessup King is a guest here!”
Bess steered Rose to sit at the kitchen table and placed a glass of cool lemonade in front of her.
“That’s why we will not be telling her. He is a paying guest and he has business in town. I expect you to respect the privacy of the guests here.”
Rose gulped the tart lemonade. “I’m sorry, Bess. But what if Katie finds out he’s in town?”
Bess sat down across from Rose and fanned her warm face with her apron. “His business with Katie is over and done with. I won’t tolerate gossip about my guests.”
Rose had never heard Bess talk so firmly, and she tried to understand the situation from the business side of things. But if she didn’t know any better, it almost seemed that Bess was jumping to Jessup’s defense. For the life of her, Rose couldn’t think of a single reason other than for business that Bess would do such a thing. She knew the guest roster had slowed down a bit, but Bess had told her that was normal until July when folks usually started taking their vacations. Still, why would Bess be so defensive regarding Jessup King? From her experience in watching his relationship with her schweschder unfold, he had not been the kindest mann.
Rose looked at Bess sheepishly. “I will keep my personal feelings regarding Jessup to myself. You have been very kind to me, and I would never want to be the cause of you losing business because I couldn’t control my tongue.”
Bess smiled. “Danki. Now tell me what happened over breakfast with Noah.”
The eagerness in Bess’s eyes helped Rose to relax. “Why didn’t you tell me he was your nephew?”
“Noah was mei schweschder’s only boppli. He’s pretty special to me. I really miss his mamm. We were the only two girls in the familye. It was hard to grow up with ten bruders, but mei schweschder and I had a special bond.”
“How long ago did you lose her?”
“It’s been going on five years now. Poor Noah lost his mamm and Emma right close to each other. It’s no wonder he needed so much time to get over it.”
Rose pinched her eyebrows together in a deep furrow. “Do you think he’s over her?”
Bess smiled and nodded. “Over Emma? Jah. Noah is an honorable young mann. He wouldn’t have kissed you if he wasn’t ready to move on with his life. He’s put his past behind him.”
Rose didn’t feel too confident of Bess’s answer even though she had no reason to doubt the woman’s word. Still, she worried that her accident in the pond may have forced Noah out of hiding before he was ready. Even if all signs pointed toward his recovery, she had to wonder why he still held back his feelings for her after the single kiss they’d shared.
“I hope you’re right, Bess. I’m glad you made me take the food to him. He shared it with me and we had a pleasant meal together. I learned a lot more about him, but I have to wonder if he has changed his mind about me. I don’t think he wants anything more than friendship.”
Bess got up and brought a plate of fresh cookies to the table to go with their lemonade. “What would make you think a thing like that? Did he say he only wanted friendship?”
“Not in so many words, but jah, he has made it clear with his actions that he doesn’t want to take our relationship beyond friendship.”
Bess bit into a sugar cookie. “Maybe he’s trying to slow things down. You got a kiss out of him pretty s
oon after you met him. He might want to get to know you—the way you did this morning at breakfast.”
Rose couldn’t deny that he still seemed to want her in his life, but he had distanced himself physically from her. She’d enjoyed his company this morning, but she’d hoped for a kiss when they parted, but he hadn’t even attempted it. She was comfortable with taking things slow, but she worried things had come to a complete stop with Noah.
“Are you planning on going for a boat ride this evening?”
Rose thought about it for a minute. She wanted the chance to run into Noah, but she was now fearful that if he didn’t show, she would feel let down.
“Do you think I should?”
Bess smiled. “I saw him skipping rocks on the pond last night. He noticed you weren’t there. I think it’s safe to say he missed you. So I think you should go and see if he shows up. If he doesn’t, don’t take it personally. He may not be ready.”
Don’t take it personally? How can I take it any other way if he doesn’t show up to meet me?
Rose agreed to go and to give Noah some space. She knew he might need more time, and she felt he would be well worth the wait.
Chapter 22
Rose walked to the end of the dock to retrieve the Mason jar so she could catch a jar-full of fireflies. She hadn’t yet seen any sign of Noah, but she was a little earlier than usual. She was so eager for the possibility of seeing him that she had practically ran out of the haus after the supper dishes had been done. Katie was too preoccupied with Caleb to pay her any mind, and for once, she was happy about that.
Crickets chirped and frogs croaked, bringing the humid, summer night to life. Clear skies boasted millions of stars, giving it a magical feel that Rose never got to see beyond the bright lights of the city that was too close to where she had lived before.
Fireflies danced around her, daring her to capture them. Remaining still, just as Noah had shown her, she watched their lights blink on and off in tune with the symphony playing in her head. She’d hidden her love for classical music from her familye, knowing it was forbidden in the Ordnung. Knowing this did not make her love for it any less. Rose hummed and twirled in the swarm of fireflies, lost in thought.
Chasing Fireflies: Book Five (Jacob's Daughter, an Amish, Christian Romance) Page 6
