Perfect Christmas

by Blythe Stone

  “I want all the turkey,” I said, leaning into Olivia.

  “Then that you shall have,” she whispered.

  “I love you,” I said.

  This was going to be amazing. The food was all on the table. There were so many dishes and two big turkeys. I watched the chef carve them and then looked around the table.

  Almost all of the people I cared about were here and that created the festive feeling I needed. The chatter was soft on my ears even with so many people around the table. Jacob and Brian were chatting to Layla while Nat looked on. I could only hope that they would turn into something long lasting. Nat deserved it, that happiness she had been deprived of for so long.

  I thought of Vivi alone on Christmas day dealing with the bitter feelings of disappointment and probably missing Nat. My heart hurt for her and I knew we would touch base with her before we went back to Stanford.

  My parents were near the head of the table with Liz and Henri. I was glad they had all made friends. They could use that support. The way Olivia and I had come together had also brought our families together. Screwed up things did that sometimes.

  Most of all, I had Olivia. I slipped my hand under the table and left it on her thigh, squeezing her leg. She was my everything. Even our fights made me happy in the end. We were going to grow together and learn. We would probably always have miscommunications but we would also always have that connection through our minds and touch.

  I blinked back tears and smiled a little when she turned my chin toward her. Olivia always cried at things like this. This was too public for me.

  “What’s wrong?” Olivia asked.

  I sniffed and turned so my hair would block my face from everyone but her. There were creases of worry around her eyes and her hand found mine under the table.

  “I’m just happy. I’ve never cried because I was happy like this,” I explained.

  “I love you,” she whispered in close, trying to get a hold of me subtly.

  Dinner started and ended with toasts. Henri at the beginning and Liz at the end. I ate entirely too much, including three helpings of turkey breast.

  We hung out with our friends by the pool after and then everyone began to leave. Even Nat packed her things and was whisked away on a private plane by Layla. By now they were probably sharing a glass of wine in some expensive house in LA.

  Olivia and I went to the tree house and found it just as holly and jolly as when we were last there. Nat had changed the sheets and cleaned up a little but all the Christmas decorations were the same.

  “I have something for you,” I said.

  We were lying in bed, having changed into PJs. She was facing me and I had snuck the box with her present into my coat when we stopped in the pool house to change before coming up.

  “What is it?” She asked nervously.

  I handed her the wrapped box. There was simple brown paper surrounding it with red cord making a bow on top.

  “Open it and find out,” I suggested.

  “Okay,” she said. Taking it up in her hands and being extra careful as she took it out of its paper.

  The box was a carved wooden one with art deco designs that I'd found on eBay for a good price. It was old, from the era its style was derived from.

  She set it on the bed and opened the top. One of the hinges squeaked as she pushed open the lid. My eyes were lost on her fingers but then I remembered that I wanted to see her face.

  Inside was a gold necklace, with an oval pendant. The back was pure gold and below the intricate little gold leaves on top was a glass dome. Inside of that a braided plait of hair was suspended. There were sections of blonde and sections of dark brown.

  “It's our hair,” I said, taking the necklace out of the box and offering it to her.

  “I snipped some of yours when you weren't paying attention and I braided it with some of mine. I thought of it when we were watching Sense and Sensibility. You know when he takes some of her hair.”

  She took the pendant in her hand and looked at it for the longest time.

  “Anyway, it seemed like a perfect way to say that we are always together even if it isn't in a physical way,” I explained.

  “I love it,” she said, trying to fight back whatever it was that made her emotional.

  She put it on and then put her arms around my neck, hugging me.

  “Really? Cause I can see where it would be weird to some people,” I hedged.

  “No, it's beautiful,” she said, sure of it.

  “I'm glad you like it. I know we just started compared to a lot of other married people but I feel like I've known you forever and thank you for the millionth time for marrying me,” I said.

  “I don't know what I would do if I'd never met you,” she said. “I keep thinking it all day…”

  “What would you do?” I asked.

  I reached out and smoothed her hair away from her cheek and then traced her bottom lip with my thumb.

  “I’d just be so much worse,” she said, trying not to get emotional.

  “You don't have to think about that. I'm here. We met,” I soothed.

  “I'm better with you,” she said. “It may not seem like it but you actually make me feel normal sometimes. Even happy.”

  “Who cares about normal but are you unhappy a lot?” I worried.

  “It's not about fitting in,” she said. “It's about calming down… Inside. You help me with that. I'm happy when we're together and we have time.”

  “How bad is it when I'm gone for swim?” I asked.

  “I get a little crazy inside,” she said. “Remember things. Second guess myself. Wonder why I am. If I matter. If I'm even doing anything worth anything. I can't stop that stuff.”

  It wasn't fair. She still felt sad even though she had me. I liked our life. Swim and school give me purpose but I would never have gotten to do either if I hadn't met her.

  I was her purpose. It made me wonder if I was giving enough, if I was being unfair by wanting to do all of these things. Our relationship gave me wings but she was still on the ground waiting for me to come back.

  “We talked about this before but I don't think I ever got it in my head. Do we need to change something? Do I need to do something different? I don't want to make you unhappy by being gone,” I said.

  “I want you to have the things you want in life. Do the things you want,” Olivia explained. “There really is just something wrong with me.”

  “I don't know. What do we do?” I asked.

  Now, the necklace didn't seem like a good gift. It just reminded her of things neither of us wanted to focus on.

  “I know we can't bother Vivi right now but maybe when we get back and everything calms down we can make an appointment,” I said.

  “I just have to grow and it's taking me awhile,” Olivia said. “I can talk to Vivi but she'll be saying what we say here. Wanting to be with someone all the time isn't exactly healthy. You need space to do your own thing and work out your problems. I want you to be happy and my happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not you are physically with me. I know what she'll say. And we'll laugh and it'll make me a little happy for a little while. I need to find my interests again. Or try to anyway. But I'm still at the point where you coming home to me is the happiest part of my day. My heart pounds and I can't stop smiling and you're everything,” Olivia explained.

  “Okay but it’s my favorite part of the day too, you know? I know I can come home and tell you everything that happened and hear about your day,” I said.

  I nudged her nose with mine and kissed her softly and then smiled.

  “The other girls on the team make fun of me because I’d rather go home to you than go out with them. I love it,” I told her.

  Olivia breathed and smiled back at me.

  “Well, I mean, they're probably all lame anyway,” she made fun and rolled her eyes.

  “Way lame,” I sighed.

  I liked that we could have these serious conversations but still ma
intain a tone of lightness. It was part of that growing up thing she was talking about. We had learned a lot in a year.

  “Baby, we’re going to grow together. Just never stop talking to me and letting me know if we need to address anything. I want you to be as happy as you can be,” I said.

  “You can try to keep me quiet,” she teased, laughter tickling up her throat.

  “Never,” I smiled.

  We were going to be okay. We had fears, everyone did, but ours were not going to make me ever give her up. That’s what people had done in my life, given up. I would fight and so would she. We would have it all, the world and something more.

  I leaned in a kissed her, knowing what she said was always true.

  “I love you,” she said, getting all flirty and truly happy inside. When Olivia really smiled it lit up the entire room. Not bright light but that soft focus addicting glow that could only be intimate and true.

  “I love you too,” I said, kissing her back.

  “Are you happy?” She asked, all secret like maybe the room could hear.

  “Yes, I’m with you,” I said.

  “Yea but,” she swallowed and pushed her hair back. “When we're apart,” she said. “At school and stuff. Are you just like, smiling inside,” she was teasing me for being too serious with her.

  “Oh yeah, I’m doing that constantly,” I smiled.

  “You better be,” she flirted and pushed me.

  I tugged at her wrist so she'd fall right on top of me.

  After all this time her heart still raced when we got close alone just like this.

  “I think about you a lot when I’m gone. I anticipate a lot. I love a lot. I like facetiming you from random places,” I said.

  “It is kind of sexy,” she confessed.

  “Especially when I’m naked,” I teased.

  “Mm, no, that's just rude,” she chastised headily. “All those times I can't touch you.”

  She got a little mad at me for this. I liked it.

  Her hands reached to tickle my skin.

  I stopped them and smiled.

  “I think it’s sweet that you think you can go up against me in a tickle fight,” I said.

  “I'm not even tickling you,” she beamed defiantly. Her body pressed into mine and she loved to play with me lovingly.

  “I know but you tried,” I challenged.

  “I was really just touching you,” she said.

  She let her forehead fall onto my skin and she breathed me in deeply.

  “If I wanted to fuck with you I would,” she sighed, dragging her lips over my skin.

  “Mmm, I know. You’re so good at it,” I sighed.

  “Shut up,” she chucked, smacking me.

  “I think you should make me,” I said.

  She did make me. It was the sweet kind of love where we went slow like she loved. Happy moments are precious and all I could hope for was that we had more happy than sad holidays. We had a lot of Christmases in front of us. Maybe we could make each one perfect in its own special way.

  THE END

  AUTHOR NOTE

  If you like what you’ve just read you should probably check out the PAPER DOLLS BOOK SERIES that follows Avery and Olivia from the time they meet to the time they graduate high school and beyond!

  PAPER DOLLS BOOK 1 is a great place to start and a wonderful read for the new year! There are 4 books in the series published so far and BOOK 5 will be coming out soon. All of the books in the series are currently 99 cents each and free to read with Kindle Unlimited.

  Enjoy!

  <3