Enduring Fate

by Alicia Rae

  Standing in front of me, she removed one of the shoulder straps from her bag and clutched it to her chest. “I’m definitely not sharing these gingersnaps with you now!”

  “Gingersnaps!” I made a tsk sound with my mouth. In the beat of a second, I hooked my finger in the belt loop of her jeans and leisurely drew her to me once again. “Now, I’m not letting you go until you hand them over.”

  The atmosphere rapidly altered between us as we gazed at one another.

  “So, come here,” I finally added, my tone roughening with every word.

  My eyes maintained contact with hers, never wavering, as she straddled the outside of my thighs. My heart pounded against my chest with an unruly force, increasing the blood pulsating within my veins.

  She was all I could see. Nothing else mattered.

  Paige fluently removed the bag from her other shoulder and lightly tossed it to the floor. With only the sound of our breathing filling the small confines of the cabin, she reached forward, yanked the toothpick out of my mouth, and flicked it.

  She draped her arms over my shoulders and glided her hands to my nape. “Is this close enough?” she whispered.

  All my blood ran south as I went rock-hard beneath her.

  Yearning to feel her bare skin once again, I glided my hand upward, stopping just above the ridge of her pants. I closed my eyes for only a few moments, heightening my sense of touch, as I let my fingertips trail a path across the planes of her smooth stomach before moving all the way over to her hip. Remembering how she felt, I gently gripped either side of her waist and repositioned her until the center of our bodies were touching.

  The movement caused my lips to brush against hers.

  “There is no such thing as enough when it comes to you, Paige,” I answered at last, staring into the depths of her stunningly beautiful eyes. Raising one hand between us, I dragged it back and forth across the base of her jaw. “I always want more with you. I want it all.”

  Her lips parted as her breathing became rough and jagged.

  As much as I wanted to claim her and make her mine again, there was so much left unsaid between us, and I needed some answers.

  “I already endured you leaving me once, Paige, and it nearly destroyed me to let you go.” I laid my heart on the line for her. “But I don’t think I could survive it a second time.” I slid my hand around to the back of her neck, holding her to me. “So, if you’re not home for good, you need to tell me now.”

  Just like that, her eyes dimmed. The glow I had created in them moments ago vanished into thin air. It fucking killed me to be the one to take it away, but I needed to say my piece.

  She angled her face away from me and slightly shook her head. “I can’t make you that promise.”

  Unable to stand her breaking our connection, I gently cupped the base of her chin and brought her back to face me. “Why not?”

  Paige looked as though she was torn. “I don’t have that answer.”

  “Yes, you do,” I responded, searching her eyes. “Either you don’t want to tell me why you’re undecided on whether you are staying or leaving again. Or you’ve already made up your mind, and you know I won’t like your decision. So, which is it?”

  Conflicting emotions streamed across her expression as the silence stretched between us. Every passing second felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest.

  “I can’t help you if you won’t let me in,” I offered. Increasing the strength in my voice, I added, “And if you think for one second that I’m letting you pack your bags and drive miles away from me again”—I hesitated at seeing the tears brimming her eyes—“you’re wrong.”

  It was as though something in Paige snapped, and she was pissed.

  She moved her hand to the center of my sternum and pushed against me while wiggling herself off my lap. “You can’t make me stay.”

  “No, I can’t.” I fought for control as my mind screamed, Yes, I can.

  I watched her rise to her feet. I hated the fact that she was going to walk away from me without resolving anything.

  “But I want to know why you’re so unhappy here and why you feel like you have to run. You’re hiding something from me, Paige.” I stood next to her in the cramped area and set my hand over my heart. “I can feel that you aren’t telling me something.”

  Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she rotated her head to face the exit. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She opened the door and began stepping down, causing me to follow. “I have to go.”

  I quickly darted around her and lowered onto my haunches. I gripped the fender of the tire well, so I could jump down to the ground and help her. Once landing on my feet, I pivoted to see her staring apprehensively at the last step. I lifted my arms to her waist.

  Her gaze bounced between the ground and me as she appeared to be in deep concentration. Her eyes filled with fury or maybe even resentment, but it didn’t seem to be directed at me. It seemed as though she was upset at herself because she couldn’t make it down from the machine on her own.

  At last, Paige bent forward and set her hands on my shoulder. I could feel the frustration rolling off of her in dense waves as I ever so carefully lowered her to the grass.

  It was dark now with only the yellow lights of the tractor illuminating our surroundings.

  “Thank you.” She righted the bottom of her hoodie that had risen during our movements. Her eyes skirted to the edge of the cattle pasture where her Gator was parked and then back at me. “I should head home. It’s getting late.” She turned as though she were in a hurry to get away from me.

  “You’re running, Paige,” I challenged her, not willing to let the topic go. “I deserve some answers.”

  Just as I thought I would have to chase her down, she whipped around to face me. I could feel the exact second something cracked inside of her.

  “You don’t know what it’s like, okay?” she yelled. On her next breath, her ribs expanded as if she were taking in a gulp of air. “You have no idea what it feels like to know that your horse is gone because of your poor judgment!” She nearly choked as heavy sobs rippled through her, and tears streamed down her face.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Paige. It was an accident,” I countered in understanding, advancing a step to pull her into my arms.

  She took an opposing step away from me. I balled my hands into fists at the thought of her not letting me touch her to comfort her.

  “Missy was my baby girl, my favorite horse,” Paige cried in a hushed whisper as she wrapped her arms around herself, trembling slightly. “And she’s gone because of me.”

  Missy and Paige had had an undeniable bond. I recalled the way Missy used to run up to the fence if Paige was near and how Missy would wrap her neck around Paige as if giving her a hug. Foster could be the same with Paige, if she would give him the chance.

  Missy would have followed Paige anywhere she asked. That horse had loved Paige, and Paige had loved her.

  “You can’t keep blaming yourself,” I repeated the same words I had told her over and over, hoping she would believe me this time. “You have to move on and live your life.”

  A second wave of anger seemed to flash through Paige’s eyes.

  “And accept that I so easily jeopardized both our lives in the blink of an eye?” She opened and closed her eyes rapidly as though she were attempting to rid the images from her mind. “I almost took your life, Colton, and I will never forgive myself for making such a foolish decision.”

  “You’re not the only one who has to carry that burden!” I stepped forward again, matching her irritation.

  When she retreated, I advanced again. I was unwilling to let her walk away from me.

  “I knew in my gut that the river wasn’t safe, yet I let us cross,” I said.

  Her torso bumped into a tree behind her. I lifted my arm and rested it on the bark above her head.

  “I almost lost you that day.” I grasped her hip and pulled her waist to me, refusing
to let her go. “We survived those currents against all odds, Paige. After all we have been through”—I let my hand trail up the side of her body until I reached her neck, and then I wiped away her tears with my thumb, unable to stand the sight of them—“never once did I think I would lose you, that you would allow something to tear us apart.”

  “I don’t want it to break us apart,” Paige murmured softly, looking as though she might crumble at any second.

  “Then, don’t let it.” I dragged my hand down her cheek to tenderly stroke her lips, back and forth.

  I yearned to taste her, and my willpower snapped. I leaned into her and captured her mouth, controlling the kiss. I gave her everything I had in hopes of making her realize that what we shared was worth fighting for.

  The power of our embrace spread throughout my body, and it calmed the raging storm within me that I would drown in whenever she was gone.

  I drew back while still holding her close, feeling her shiver against me. I knew it was from the evening air because a cool breeze had picked up around us.

  “Come inside with me, Paige.” I searched her eyes. “I’m not ready to let you out of my sight just yet. We have much more to talk about, and I’d like to show you something.”

  I thought convincing her to go up to the house was going to be a losing battle, so she surprised me when she responded, “Okay.”

  It was all I needed to hear. “Thank you.” I gently pressed a kiss against her forehead. “I have to shut down the tractor and lock it up for the night. Then, we can take your Gator up to the house.”

  After she nodded in agreement, I quickly did as I’d told her. Then, I returned to Paige and grabbed her hand.

  As we closed the distance to my house, some of the tension eased from my body. I could only hope her staying past an argument and not running for the hills meant we were taking a step in the right direction.

  THE WHOLE WAY UP TO COLTON’S HOUSE, I felt like a chunk of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was more at peace since I had given him some insight into my struggles with grief from losing Missy and guilt over how I had foolishly risked his life on that day.

  It was a baby step, but one that had needed to be made.

  New anxieties arose as we came to the back door of his house. I wondered what questions he would ask me and if I would be able to shed some light on my future—not only for him, but also for myself. And I was eager to see what he wanted to show me.

  Colton interrupted my thoughts as he rotated to face me. The outdoor lighting gave me a view of his broad smile, causing me to mirror his expression.

  “I hope you like what I’ve done with the place,” he said, catching me off guard.

  I drew my brows together, perplexed by his statement. “You’ve already started to remodel the house?” I asked in astonishment.

  “Yes, I’ve made a few changes here and there.” He twisted the handle and pushed the door wide open. “Keep your tennis shoes on, so you don’t step on anything sharp while walking through the living room.”

  “Ah, good to know.” I cautiously stepped forward, absorbing the uneven wooden surface beneath my feet.

  Colton entered behind me, and he flipped on the light switch.

  My mouth dropped open in shock at seeing the inside of the house. The living room carpet had been stripped down to the underlayment, and drywall was missing on the two exterior walls, allowing a chilly draft into the room. The interior walls appeared to have new sheets screwed in place. I glanced in front of me and noticed long sheets of clear plastic hanging from the ceiling to separate this part of the house from the rest. I assumed it was to help shield the dust and keep the draft from going into the other rooms.

  “I thought you said you were making a few changes?” I raised a brow at Colton.

  He came to stand at my side. “I am.”

  “You gutted the entire living room!” I laughed. “I would say that this is more along the lines of a complete demolition.”

  “I should explain that it originally started out as a simple project, and then one thing led to another and another…” He broke off and grinned boyishly at me. “The next thing I knew, I’d ripped out old plaster and drywall, and I began to reinsulate the walls to eliminate the drafts blowing through here.”

  “Wow,” I said, scanning the room again. My visions ran wild with how he might decorate the living area. I pondered over what color paint and furniture he would choose. He’d always had impeccable taste. “I can’t wait to see it once you’ve finished.”

  “You will,” he replied with a confident smirk. An impish shimmer reflected back at me from his handsome baby-blue irises.

  “Maybe I don’t want to,” I retorted, letting a playful sass ring in my voice. I was contradicting my earlier statement of being excited to see it once it was complete, but I didn’t care. I’d missed joking around with him like this.

  He strolled up to me and gathered me in his arms. I felt his fingers lock together at the small of my back.

  “Then, I guess I have no choice but to keep you here until the job is done,” he drawled. He lowered his head to skim his lips across my neck.

  My body intuitively gravitated toward him as I succumbed to the feeling of being in his arms.

  “I can’t let you miss out on seeing the finished product.”

  “And if I don’t want to stay?” The words had slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. I knew we were heading into dangerous territory.

  He trailed his nose up the lobe of my ear, and I shivered at the feel of his warmth. He pulled my earlobe between his lips and oh-so lightly nipped at the sensitive flesh. As my pulse sped up, I closed my eyes to refrain from moaning out. Even the simplest of his touches had a direct line to my core.

  “I guess I’ll have to be more convincing,” he breathed along my skin.

  I wondered what he’d meant by that, so I queried, “Oh? How so?”

  He abruptly drew back and left me hanging in the wind. Seeing the mischievous glint in his eyes, I realized he was aware of the effect he had on me. Therefore, he knew exactly what he was doing in this moment.

  Jerk.

  “You’ll see.” He winked as he took my hand and guided me in the direction of the hanging plastic. “Come on. I want to show you the rest of the house. Wait till you see the new kitchen and master bedroom.”

  He led me to the right side of the hanging plastic and lifted it over his head, so we could pass under. On the other side, my eyes roamed back and forth, taking in the gloriously remodeled kitchen.

  The deep cherry–red cabinets covered the majority of the wall space in the room, except for the expansive window above the kitchen sink that would allow natural light to beam inside. New stainless steel appliances had been installed, including a double oven stacked at my right and an electric stovetop beside it. A kitchen island was perfectly planted in the center. A silver hanging rack was above it, holding an assortment of frying pans and skillets.

  It was every woman’s dream kitchen.

  “Wow,” I repeated, unable to peel my eyes away from its beauty. A vision of me standing in the kitchen, cooking something yummy for Colton for dinner, subconsciously played out in my mind.

  “That’s a good wow I hope.” He chuckled, snapping me out of my reverie.

  I could feel his eyes on me.

  “Most definitely.” I continued to admire what must have been long hours of hard work before I met his gaze. “How did you have time to do all this while keeping up with the ranch?”

  His eyes lost a fraction of their spark. He broke our connection and stared out the window above the kitchen sink. “These days, I have a lot of free time in the evening.” He shrugged. “I like to keep myself busy.”

  “Oh,” was all I said as mixed feelings coursed through me. One, I was saddened to see my decision to leave home had affected his life so profoundly. Two, I was rejoicing over the idea of him being adrift without me. In truth, I had been just as lonely and lost without him.
The confusing thoughts made me feel contrite.

  He tipped his head toward the hallway just past the kitchen entrance. “I haven’t started the dining room or the two smaller rooms on that side of the house.”

  “But you remodeled the master bedroom?” I recalled his earlier words.

  “Yes. Would you like to see it?”

  “Sure.” I offered a genuine smile, hoping to lighten his mood.

  I followed behind him as we retraced our steps. Another plastic sheet hung from the ceiling, and we passed under it. Colton turned the handle of the closed door immediately following the barrier and opened it. He walked inside the room and shifted to face me as I crossed the threshold.

  Since I had only seen this room from a distance, it was much larger than I’d expected. I immediately released a small gasp as I took in my surroundings. A large sleigh bed centered along the back wall captivated my attention. A stunning canvas hanging above it was a picture of a sunset, but it was not just any ordinary sunset. The distinct arrangement of several types of trees running along the bottom edge made this image identifiable to its location, and I would recognize the location from anywhere.

  I looked over at Colton for an explanation.

  A soft smile filled his features, revealing a small dimple at the corner of his mouth. “A photographer friend took it for me. You and I have watched that sunset at the tree fort a million times.” He came closer to me, outstretched his hand to grasp the front of my hoodie, and pulled me toward him with a slow pace, swiftly charging the atmosphere between us. “I want it to be the last thing we see every night before bed.”

  He appeared to be searching my eyes for a response or for some inclination of how I felt. Honestly, with the newfound drumming of my heart and the pounding in my ears at the present moment, I was stuck in a state of stupor at its finest.

  “Colton,” was all I managed to say at last.

  But his eyes bore such strong conviction and prevalence in them that it made me want to push aside all my reservations.

  “I want to wake up with you in my arms, feeling your breath against my bare skin, while your body is curled into my side. I want to always start my day with you.” He lifted his hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I want to know that you’ll fight for us and that you’re here to stay—forever.” He neared until his lips were inches from mine. “Our kind of love is rare, Paige, and I won’t let your fears keep you from me. You are stronger than that. Our love runs deeper than that. It’s one of fate.”