Wizard, Thief, Warrior

by Max Anthony

  “Here!” he exclaimed proudly. “Twenty assorted spells for ten gold! What do you think of that beauty?”

  Viddo shrugged. “I don’t know. What am I supposed to think?”

  “It’s a bargain!” Rasmus informed him. “But that’s not the entire reason for my happiness. It’s the excitement of the unknown. There could be anything in here and we might have need of the extra firepower for the journey to the university.”

  The thief scratched his head, already having convinced himself that the wizard had been royally conned and that there was unlikely to be anything more powerful than a spell to detect whether or not a door was locked. “Have you looked at any of them yet?” he asked.

  “The shopkeeper wouldn’t let me,” said Rasmus. “He had a dozen such bundles on his shelf and I had to pick at random. Here, let me have a gander at a couple.”

  Viddo stood patiently in the middle of the street as Rasmus peeled off the top scroll. The wizard’s lips moved slightly as he examined the magical text. Without saying a word, nor displaying any change in expression, he dropped the top scroll onto the ground and began reading the next one. This second one joined the first and was soon joined by the third.

  “There’s a five-copper fine for littering in Gargus,” said Viddo mildly. “Why don’t you cut your losses and stick them all in yonder bin?”

  Rasmus was not to be dissuaded and continued leafing through the scrolls. In the end, the wizard’s hands became empty, though the street nearby was now filled with rolled-up parchment, which fluttered and skittered in the gentle breeze that blew there.

  “Bollocks,” said Rasmus, stomping off without further word.

  “Look on the bright side,” Viddo replied, hurrying after him. “At least you’ll have significantly enriched the coffers of that shopkeeper.”

  The two of them spent the remainder of the afternoon picking up the supplies they’d need for the long trip to Trilbus. Their recent adventures hadn’t resulted in the discovery of vast quantities of gold or platinum coins and the stash had been eroded surprisingly quickly, greatly assisted by Rasmus’ profligacy when it came to purchasing scrolls of an unknown nature.

  “We’ve hardly got anything left now,” said the wizard, shaking his robes to make the remaining coins jingle. The sound was a mournful one, which spoke of poverty, rather than plenty.

  “We’ve got enough for one last farewell drink at the Five Hounds,” said Viddo, checking his own pockets.

  “That’s right. One last drink,” agreed Rasmus, knowing full well that they would get falling-down blotto.

  Inside the tavern, all was usual, though there was a one hundred percent reduction in the number of rodent-faced individuals. Rasmus and Viddo found themselves a table and ordered an ale.

  “I know when it’s time to leave a place,” said Viddo.

  “Why’s that, then?” enquired Rasmus with only mild curiosity.

  “I am starting to think that this particular table is mine. I feel comforted to sit at it and I recognize most of the stains. On the occasions that we arrive and it is already occupied, I find myself keeping an eye on it, in order to claim it as soon as it becomes free. It tells me that it’s time to move on.”

  “I never did enjoy the settled life,” agreed the wizard. “I have tried it in the past, but it didn’t last long - I rapidly became bored with it.”

  “I have never even tried it for a short time,” said Viddo. “The thought of routine and repetition makes me shudder, though I do not judge those for whom it is a pleasure.”

  Their conversation was interrupted, though not rudely. They had for a time been aware of a gentleman, somewhere in his middle years, who had been watching them from a nearby table in what he no doubt thought was a covert manner. Neither wizard nor thief was fooled for a moment and they had been returning the attention, though the gentleman was not aware of the fact. The fellow clearly had something to say and eventually, Rasmus lost patience with the waiting.

  “I say, do you mind not staring? Come over here and speak to us!”

  The man looked surprised that he had been rumbled and pushed himself sheepishly to his feet. He was averagely dressed and average in appearance, with nothing of note to single him out. Viddo waved the man into a seat, where the newcomer sat for a few seconds, opening and closing his mouth, yet uttering no sound. The man appeared to steel himself and introduced himself to the pair.

  “Good evening to you, gentleman. My name is Jiffrin Pillo. I apologise for staring. In truth, I was undecided about whether or not I should bother you with something.”

  Viddo perked up at once. He could sense when there was a tale to be told and he leaned forward, lowering his brows, in order to make it clear that he was listening intently.

  “There is nothing to apologise for, good sir,” said Rasmus. “I can tell by the expression on my friend’s face that he is already curious. What is this matter that you wish to speak to us about?”

  Jiffrin took a deep breath. “It’s about my daughter, you see. She’s gone off somewhere. Looking for adventure, she said. She always was a hot-head. Got mixed in with a band of friends who filled her thoughts with tales of treasure and excitement.”

  Rasmus and Viddo already knew where this story was heading, but they didn’t speak and allowed the man to continue.

  “She’s gone missing, you see. It’s been almost a month now and we’re worried. Me and my wife, that is. She’s all we had, our little Jera. If something’s happened to her, we’ll have nothing left.” The fellow looked utterly miserable.

  “So, your daughter ran off to make her fortune and hasn’t come back? Are you sure she hasn’t just made her way to another city elsewhere?”

  “No, good sirs. Jera is an honest girl. She promised her mother and me that she would return once she’d explored some caves that one of her friends had discovered. It’s only a day outside the city, and she’s been gone far too long.”

  Rasmus and Viddo glanced at each other. They could exchange a lot of information in such a look.

  “In which direction did she travel?” asked the wizard.

  “South,” said Jiffrin, sealing a deal that would have likely been sealed even if he’d said his daughter had gone ten days in the opposite direction to that which Rasmus and Viddo intended to travel.

  “Well, my colleague and I are planning to head south in the morning, as it happens. I assume you wish us to locate your daughter and send her home?”

  “Yes, that is what I hope. Everyone around here knows that you two have learned your trade to a level far in advance of anyone in Gargus. I’d hoped that you might take pity upon a young lady who is just setting out on the same path as you.”

  “What profession is your daughter trained in, out of interest?” asked Rasmus.

  “She’s a fighter, sir. A warrior, if you will. She’s good at it, too.”

  It seemed unlikely that a fighter setting off on her first adventure was going to be exceptionally skilled, but Rasmus and Viddo knew that everyone had to start somewhere. In a few years, Jiffrin’s daughter might be cutting down swathes of minor undead with one sweep of her sword.

  “Jiffrin, we might be tempted to accept this quest to locate your daughter. There is, however, the small matter of our fee,” said Viddo.

  The man reached into his tunic and fumbled out a leather pouch, closed at the top with a draw string. He opened it and tipped the contents onto the table. “It’s all we have,” he said, looking miserably at the smattering of copper and silver coins on the table. “Our poverty is part of the reason that Jera was so keen to get started and bring us back some money.”

  Viddo pretended that he hadn’t seen the coins. “Our fee is ten thousand gold coins,” he said. “Whether we succeed or fail. And we shall require full payment up front.”

  Jiffrin swallowed. The amount on the table didn’t even add up to a half of one gold coin. “I don’t have that kind of money,” he said.

  “However,” said Rasmus, unable
to let things hang for long. “We may be tempted to undertake this task for another fee.”

  “Whatever it is, it seems likely that I will be unable to afford it.”

  “Perhaps,” said Rasmus, looking as if he were pondering something of great importance. “Viddo, what do you think? Should we consider an alternative fee?”

  Viddo lowered his eyebrows again at the gravitas of the negotiations. “I think under the circumstances, we should do so.”

  Jiffrin had now developed a wild look in his eyes, as if he thought they were going to tell him to cut off one of his arms or ask to deflower his daughter, assuming someone else hadn’t already done it. “Sirs!” he said. “Please tell me what it is that you demand!”

  “I’ll have another mug of this splendid ale,” said Rasmus.

  “Me too,” said Viddo, tilting his cup to demonstrate its emptiness. “And a packet of those dried pork rinds that the bar keep stores under his counter.”

  As a dazed-looking Jiffrin headed to the bar to fulfil the order, Rasmus called after to advise that upon reflection, he too, would like a packet of the pork rinds.

  And thus was the deal done, purchased with two mugs of ale and two bags of teeth-destroying crunchy snacks. The three of them spoke for a time, in order that wizard and thief would have an idea of where to search and whom they were looking for. After a while, Jiffrin left the table, though Rasmus and Viddo remained for much longer than was wise.

  2

  The next morning, wizard and thief paused for a short while in the shade of the main south gate that led through the yellow sandstone walls of Gargus. Viddo was slim and dark haired, dressed mostly in black cloth, with a few pieces of dark leather armour. He carried a small, black metal hand crossbow and had a dagger tucked into his belt. Rasmus was of a normal height and build, with smooth, unlined skin. He appeared to be unarmed, though his unassuming blue robes identified him as a man who relied on magic for his defence. And if his magic failed, he had a foot-long metal bar shoved up one sleeve. To look at them, these two youthful gentlemen might not have appeared overly threatening. Appearances in this case were most definitely deceiving.

  “I wish I hadn’t drank that last mug of ale,” said Rasmus, reflecting his friend’s opinion. “I feel like shit.”

  “Looks like it’s going to be a hot day as well,” observed Viddo. His tongue felt as if it were twice its usual size. “I particularly hate being hungover when it’s hot.”

  With nobody to blame for their excesses but themselves, they set out from Gargus. The road was well-paved and well-travelled. This area of the world was passably civilised and trade was abundant between the towns and cities all around. Most of the people they passed seemed to be genuinely cheerful, with many offering up a hearty hello to the dishevelled pair. For an hour or two, neither man felt much like speaking, nor could they summon up the energy to respond to the greetings which were so freely offered to them. As morning progressed, they both felt a little better and they talked to each other in more than simple grunts.

  “That Jiffrin seemed like quite a nice chap,” said Viddo.

  “Indeed he did. Quite concerned for his daughter, too.”

  “Ah, the folly of youth. Searching forbidden places underground in the hope of unearthing a couple of copper coins. Driven on by the rumours that someone once discovered a gold coin in that same area.”

  Rasmus didn’t scoff. He could still remember the days when he’d spent his days in such places, casting every spell in his arsenal and emerging into the daylight, wounded and with his pockets stuffed with copper coins and the occasional clipped piece of silver. Back then, a single gold coin would have been a rare prize indeed.

  “I don’t hold out much hope,” said Rasmus.

  “Nor me. A month is a long time to be lost underground. Back in the day, I’d be fifty feet beneath the surface by sunrise, out by sunset and into the tavern to spend whatever I’d found.”

  “I was lucky to last that long,” conceded the wizard. “In my earliest days of adventuring, I could only memorise two or three spells. I could have conceivably cast them all at the first creature I ran into and then I’d have to flee in order to avoid my untimely death.”

  “And now you can cast dozens of them,” said Viddo.

  “Dozens upon dozens. Not that I am so well-endowed at the moment, having used most of them up in the acquisition of those two huge diamonds.”

  “You shouldn’t need to cast much, if anything, where we’re going,” said Viddo. “I know you can handle the odd zombie or giant rat with ease.”

  “Of course I can,” said Rasmus. He drew the weighty metal cosh from his sleeve, and made a couple of experimental swishes through the air with it. He wasn’t a traditional wizard in many ways, though he’d started to wish that he had a decent magical stave instead of his cosh.

  “What sort of spells do you have available? Just in case,” asked Viddo.

  “Oh, there’s a smattering of lower-level ones. Sufficient to destroy the feebler creatures we might find. Then, there’re a few of the ultra-devastating ones that it never feels like quite the right time to cast. I used up almost all of my medium-strength spells on our last visit underground.”

  “At least you’ve got a few left,” said Viddo, feeling reassured that they were equipped for the unexpected.

  They walked for the rest of the day, without pushing themselves greatly. They were aware that Jiffrin’s daughter might be in great peril, but the place she’d gone missing was just over a day’s travel outside of Gargus. Even if they could have got there in a single day, they didn’t think it best to start looking for a cave entrance in the middle of the night.

  The road remained pleasant to walk upon. The number of other travellers diminished and the surrounding countryside became rolling with low, rocky hills. This far to the north, there was insufficient rainfall to nourish the areas where there was no other source of water and the earth was dry and parched. Neither of the pair was excessively keen to camp out here in the open, so it was with relief that they came upon a more appropriate place before the sun had fully set.

  “Let’s make camp here for the night,” said the thief.

  The place he indicated was a small copse of palm trees, set a little way off the road. There was a covering of rich green grass, suggesting that there was a source of water somewhere close by. The two travellers rolled out their ground sheets, with Rasmus in particular taking great care to check for insects in the vicinity. He knew that it was futile, given that the least intrepid of insects could cover reasonable distances in a short space of time. Nevertheless, the wizard was unable to prevent himself from looking. He was the sort of man who looked under his pillows and his toilet seats for unwanted lurkers, even when he was in the most salubrious of lodgings.

  At last, as satisfied as he could be that there was nothing to surprise him, Rasmus sat himself down and rummaged in his pack for food and water. His companion had preceded him and Viddo was already munching stolidly on one of the sandwiches they had brought with them for sustenance.

  “I bought these supplies from Joher’s Best Goods shop in Gargus,” said Viddo. “Using coins obtained from a chest that was resting in shit and guarded by giant slugs.”

  “I remember it well,” said Rasmus. “Though I have no idea why you’ve brought the matter up.”

  “I’m not sure I know either. Other than to illustrate the peculiarity that is life. I could have earned the money at a blacksmith’s forge, or making barrels. I did neither of these things, and plundered the payment from a soiled chest in a room full of acid-secreting molluscs.”

  “If there is a lesson there for us, I am sure I have no idea what it is,” said Rasmus, having already lost interest in the subject.

  They made small talk for a short while. They both found their excitement building, without quite knowing why that might be. They were definitely not bad men at heart and the idea that they might be about to rescue the daughter of Jiffrin and his wife had give
n them a sense of additional worth.

  The following morning, they awoke early. Viddo could sleep almost anywhere and found that he was greatly refreshed by his time asleep. Rasmus, too, could sleep almost anywhere and after a few minutes of restlessness he had also enjoyed an excellent slumber. Usually, the wizard found that his robes were a great attraction to the local insects and he’d spend most of the night levering the creatures out from places that he’d rather not mention. On this occasion, he’d been spared the discomfort of having to rummage within his crevices.

  “What a beautiful day!” exclaimed Viddo to all and sundry.

  Thief and wizard headed away from the clearing with little pause. They did not generally linger when there was no need to do so. The copse of palm trees was not extensive and the pair broke out onto the start of a gently sloping hillside. Like the landscape all around, it was parched here. There was grass underfoot, but it was yellow and prickly – not at all comfortable to sit upon. The soil would probably have been rich if the rainfall were greater, but without water it was dusty and barren. Rocks and boulders were strewn here and there, indicative of the fact that they were in the foothills of a range of jagged mountains, which they could see looming on the horizon.

  “The entrance should be over here, if I’m not much mistaken,” said Rasmus, once they’d reached the top of the hill. He pointed into a nearby valley, which became deeper and narrower until one could argue that it was more of a ravine.

  “Let us continue in order that we might find out,” replied Viddo, setting off down the slope and towards the ravine a few hundred yards away.

  At first, the footing was excellent, but soon it became increasingly difficult to walk normally. The perspective from above had made everything seem gentle. Now that they were close, it was much steeper than it appeared and they had to walk in a crablike fashion to stop themselves careening down the slope at an uncontrolled speed.