Wizard, Thief, Warrior

by Max Anthony

  Jera was closest to the top and she killed the first one as soon as its head appeared at floor level, opening a huge wound in its skull with her blade. A second one lost an arm and tumbled back down the steps, just as the remaining three reached the top. Jera stepped in close and knocked the first one with her shield. It staggered two paces away. The second undead tried to scrape at Jera’s face with yellow nails and she stepped smoothly to one side, entirely unhurried. The third creature leapt past her, having got its sights on Rasmus, who had up till that moment taken no action.

  “You are the worst example of an undead that I have ever seen!” said Jera, clearly but not loudly. Her voice was husky and carried with it a great imperative to attack the speaker. The undead did as it was commanded and spun away from Rasmus. The wizard watched with interest as the creature threw a punch at Jera. There were more sounds from below – not yet at the steps.

  For a few seconds, Jera stood in front of the undead as they clawed and punched at her. Their attacks deflected from her shield or her armour, not once coming near to doing her an injury. She attacked in turn, cutting off hands and fingers as they came close.

  Rasmus peered down the stairwell, listening to the approaching sounds of feet. When he thought the owners of these feet had come close enough, he waved a hand in a gesture and sent one of his newly-memorised fireballs onto the lower floor. There was a flash of angry orange light. A familiar thumping explosion noise duly followed and the footsteps stopped. The wizard listened and heard more coming to replace them.

  “How are you getting on, Viddo?” he called, using his cosh to crush the skull of the remaining undead that Jera had yet to kill.

  “I think I’ve found something,” came the reply.

  “Should we come now?” asked Rasmus.

  “I suppose you’d better. I’ve located a passage.”

  “Come on, Jera,” said Rasmus, giving her a genuine smile to show that he recognized her skills.

  The pair of them hurried into the other room, where Viddo waited proudly to one side of a narrow passage. It was unlit, so Rasmus dashed in first, casting his spell of light as he did so. Jera came next and then Viddo. Before he vanished inside, the thief had time to notice the disturbing sight of many undead reaching the top of the stairs in the other room. Their eager haste was in vain and Viddo calmly closed the door to the hidden passageway. It swung into place and made a sharp click to indicate that it wouldn’t be opening again until someone located the mechanism. Not entirely satisfied, Viddo took out his pack of thief’s tools and used a hand-length hammer to knock a series of tiny metal pins around the edge of the door.

  “That should hold them,” he said.

  “Come along,” called Rasmus from ahead. “The denizens of this place are workers of stone. We don’t know if there are any among them who can destroy that door.”

  The passageway they’d entered was the epitome of an escape tunnel. The walls were roughly-hewn, as if they’d been hacked out in secret during the dead of night. The ceiling was little more than five feet high and there was only just the width for a slim person to walk without their shoulders scraping the sides. Jera was therefore able to walk more or less normally, while her new companions had to proceed with their necks bent uncomfortably low. Rasmus felt a twinge or two in his knees, though he didn’t divulge this secret.

  The passage had started out level, but after fifty yards, it began to descend fairly steeply and also curved gradually to the right. The light from Rasmus’ spell bobbed away in front of them with a cheery white glow, in a welcome contrast to that of the green light globes they’d left behind. It wasn’t an appropriate place to speak and no one offered comment, instead keeping their weapons ready in case something approached from in front or behind.

  A secret tunnel would not be a secret tunnel if it were not hidden at both ends. Usually, Viddo knew, there’d be a door and that is exactly what he was expecting to find. In this case, there was no door and the passage deposited them into an unevenly-shaped cavern, with a ceiling eight or nine feet above them and jagged walls which extended beyond the reach of Rasmus’ light. Wizard and thief stretched luxuriously at this new-found headroom, while Jera waited patiently for them to finish.

  “I am coming with you,” she said with finality.

  “You won’t get an argument from me,” replied Rasmus. “If you can keep a dread knight at bay in the same way as you did those weaker undead, we’ll have found ourselves a partner.”

  “We’ve been pushed quite significantly off course,” admitted Viddo. “That alone means we have no quick way of getting you to the surface.” He already found himself at ease in her company, as well as finding it hard to wrench his eyes away from her face.

  “We would not have been able to live with ourselves if we’d brought you along and you’d perished to the first challenging creature,” said Rasmus. “I have seen enough to believe that you will be an asset to our endeavours. Are you sure this is the first time you’ve done any adventuring? You’re awfully good for a beginner.”

  “Sort of,” hedged Jera. “It’s what I’ve always wanted to do and I’ve had a good teacher for these last few years. She has been good enough to give up all of her spare time to train me in the ways of combat.” She provided no more details as to the identity of this teacher, not that it was important to know them.

  They set off across the floor of the cavern. Rasmus pretended to stumble so that he ended up a pace behind Viddo. It was the wizard’s usual trick to ensure that Viddo took the lead, without having to directly acknowledge the thief’s superior sense of direction.

  “Do you know how to get to the place where they are going to try and bring back this god?” asked Jera, instantly recognizing which of her new companions was more confident in finding his way around undead-ridden underground worlds.

  “In terms of what we saw on that stone map, I am reasonably sure where we are,” said Viddo in response. “And if we get lost, I will rely on hunches and intuition to guide us.”

  “It usually all works out,” said Rasmus. “And if it doesn’t, we’ll probably find ourselves somewhere equally exciting.”

  “Don’t you normally plan these things out?” asked Jera doubtfully.

  “Good gracious no!” said Viddo. “What would be the fun in that? Far better to turn up somewhere and be surprised than to know your future in advance!”

  “That’s how all of my former companions ended up dying!” protested Jera. “Two of them ran on ahead into the first room and got killed before the rest of us could arrive. Another was showing us how to dance a jig and he fell into a pit. Then there was the lever that someone pulled when no one was looking.”

  “Your companions appear to have been cursed with the twin dangers of bad luck and incompetence,” said Rasmus. “Do not confuse those two things with having a carefree approach. My friend and I have survived many testing situations simply by turning up and dealing with what we found.”

  “I have much to learn,” said Jera, acknowledging her inexperience. “Training ground exercises do not prepare one for the rules of these dangerous places.”

  “There are no rules,” laughed Viddo. “Do what works best for you at the time you do it. If you are resourceful enough, everything will turn out as you hope.”

  If she’d been pushed on the matter, Jera would have said that she was a woman who preferred rules and a careful, methodical approach, especially where her life was concerned. She had already begun to worry that she might find herself beating off dozens of hostile creatures unnecessarily, owing to the devil-may-care attitude of Rasmus and Viddo.

  What have you got yourself into? she asked herself, whilst at the same time accepting that it was through her own stubborn insistence that she was sticking with them. They seemed nice enough anyway and perhaps she’d learn a few things.

  As she drew herself back to the present, Jera became aware that the wizard and thief were discussing their favourite type of cheese. With a sigh, she conti
nued after them.

  9

  The cavern was large and it took them fifteen minutes to traverse. They stayed close to the right-hand wall, in order that they wouldn’t miss any likely-looking exit passageways. There was no sign of flora here, nor was there fauna. They walked quickly, yet not so rapidly that they risked tripping over the rough floor. It was certain that the undead still pursued, but since there was no sound to herald their arrival, it seemed likely that they’d been unable to break through the secret door.

  “I wonder if they’re all still milling around in that wizard’s mansion,” said Viddo.

  “Shaking their fists at the secret door in fruitless anger,” said Rasmus. The idea pleased him.

  “How did they find us?” asked Viddo. “One minute they weren’t there, the next they were running full pelt as if they knew exactly where to locate us. Did you see any of them before you found us, Jera?”

  “There was nothing to be seen when I followed you,” she replied. “I’d noticed hardly any signs of activity after I escaped through the village of stone.”

  “It is a potentially worrying development,” said Viddo. “I hope we do not see the same thing happen everywhere we go.”

  “I have numerous area-of-effect spells,” said Rasmus. “At least I won’t feel so helpless this time.”

  “You seemed to do well against that undead wizard,” said Jera.

  “I had to use up two of my precious super-duper spells in the encounter,” replied Rasmus. “Spells that it is not wise to rely upon.”

  “If I were a wizard I wouldn’t bother with all of the tiddler spells,” said Viddo provocatively. “I’d blast everything with the most powerful stuff I had.”

  Rasmus knew when he was being baited, but could not resist hurling himself onto the hook and taking a bite of the tasty worm that the thief had skewered there. “The most powerful spells can do terrible things to the body of the casting wizard,” he lectured. “It is not unknown for an unprepared mage to die attempting to cast that which is beyond his or her ken!”

  “Pfft,” said Viddo dismissively, knowing that it would inflame Rasmus further.

  “Do you two do nothing but argue?” asked Jera with the innocent curiosity of the young.

  Rasmus chortled. “We aren’t arguing!” he said. “We are merely passing the time by engaging in word games. It keeps us sane.”

  “And Rasmus, like most of his ilk, finds the struggle with sanity to be a constant battle,” warned Viddo. “Though I will grudgingly admit that I enjoy his company and he has occasionally proven himself to be useful.”

  “I see,” said Jera, already starting to realise that this was how their partnership worked.

  A passage led away from the main cavern. It was more of a split in the rock than something which had been intentionally carved.

  “Along this way, do you think?” asked Rasmus.

  “Let’s give it a try,” said Viddo. “I think it heads vaguely in the direction we need to go.”

  This new route was difficult going and Viddo soon wished he’d suggested that they keep looking for an alternative way. It wasn’t that he was struggling himself, but the passage widened and then narrowed, twisting and turning as it went steeply downwards. Rasmus and Jera were clearly finding it hard work, with the wizard huffing and puffing as he went.

  “Ouch!” said Rasmus. There was a slapping sound.

  Viddo stopped and turned. “Have you slipped?” he asked in concern. A broken bone down here would cause them great trouble.

  “No, but something’s just bitten me!” said Rasmus. “Ouch!” The wizard slapped at the back of his hand. “Got the little bastard!” he exclaimed.

  “What is it?” asked Jera.

  “It’s a fly. A bloody fly. Why can’t I be shot of the little buggers for once? Even under the ground they manage to find me,” replied Rasmus. “Come and take a look at this,” he said, raising the back of his hand for them both to have a look at.

  “Looks like a dead fly to me,” said Viddo. “Albeit a big one.”

  “There’s no mess,” said Jera, spotting at once that which Rasmus had noted.

  Viddo looked again. Rasmus had managed to squash the fly on the back of his hand. It was about the size of a thumbnail, so a few entrails might have been expected. However, there were none visible. Viddo wasn’t squeamish and picked the fly off the wizard’s hand. He gave it a pinch between finger and thumb, before pulling its head off and looking at the two halves.

  “You’re not going to believe it,” he said. “I think it’s an undead fly.”

  “In all my three hundred years, I can safely say I have not once come across an undead fly! Horrid little creatures when they’re alive, let alone when they’re undead!”

  “You’re three hundred years old?” asked an incredulous Jera. “You don’t look more than twenty-five!”

  “Looks can be deceiving, young lady,” said Rasmus. “And in all of those years, I’ve never once come close to liking flies.”

  “The time to discuss this wizard’s decrepitude will come later. Come on and let’s see if we can get out of this passage as soon as possible.”

  With that, Viddo turned away and continued onwards, with Rasmus and Jera slithering after him in a marginally less controlled manner. They hadn’t gone much further, when Viddo heard something buzzing past his ear. The sound was sharp, high-pitched and unpleasant. Seconds later, Rasmus uttered an oath and there was an associated slapping sound.

  “Another one of the little sods,” came the confirmation. “I got it though. They don’t appear to be as reactive to movement as their living counterparts.”

  “Are you all right?” asked Jera, surprising Rasmus with her concern.

  “Oh. Yes, everything’s quite fine. They do little more than nip,” he replied.

  Only a few yards further along, the buzzings came more frequently as a progressively greater quantity of undead flies made their way past Viddo and Jera, in order to land upon succulent wizard flesh.

  “I’m normally the one who gets bitten,” said Jera.

  “Flies usually land on turds and wizards in my experience,” offered Viddo. “I wonder what choice they would make if presented with both a juicy shit and my friend Rasmus here.”

  “I’m getting bitten a little bit too much for comfort!” retorted Rasmus. “I am concerned at their numbers.” He slapped twice more on an exposed part of his neck.

  “Do you think we should go back?” asked Viddo. “It’s quite steep.”

  “I think we should go onwards,” came the reply. “At a quicker pace, so that we might escape the source of these nuisances.”

  Viddo did as he was asked and led them on at a greater pace than he might have wished. Jera had the heaviest clothing, but was able to manage without too much difficulty. There again, Viddo had seen warriors who got so used to wearing their armour that they almost seemed surprised when they noticed it was there. Rasmus would have had a much easier time if he hadn’t been struggling to fend off the many flies which had taken an interest in him. The wizard slipped and slid and Viddo was forced to offer a hand to ensure that his friend didn’t lose his footing entirely. The passage ended in another cavern and the source of the flies became apparent.

  This new place was roughly round in shape, though much too large to be illuminated entirely by Rasmus’ light spell. There was the smell of something rotting and there was a long, dark shape spread across the floor, just far enough that its details were hidden. There was a peculiar miasma around the shape, which swirled and twisted in the air. The sound of ten thousand pairs of undead flies’ wings reached their ears.

  “Kill your light,” warned Viddo at once.

  He was too late. Acting almost in concert, the huge swarm spun in the air, roiling and compacting as the constituent members fought for space. It headed towards the trio with the excited expectation of tasting living blood.

  “Urgh!” exclaimed Jera.

  “Get rid of the light!” u
rged Viddo again. “That’s what’s attracted them.”

  Rasmus did not end his spell. He’d had quite enough of flies, thank you very much, and had a considerable amount of pent-up anger at their persistent attempts to dine on his flesh.

  “Let’s see how you like this,” he said conversationally to the swarm.

  With a wiggle of his fingers, Rasmus cast the spell which he’d been dying to cast for quite some time. He didn’t know why he’d been saving it up since it was one of his more exciting examples and would be entirely wasted on flies.

  Starting at a position twenty yards away, the air ignited in a dull red glow. The firestorm covered a front of thirty yards in width and it rolled away into the distance of the cavern, a wall of angry red flames which met the excitement of the undead swarm with an unstoppable heat that incinerated everything in its path. The walls of the cavern were illuminated and the trio were buffeted with a tremendous heat, which did its best to wrench the air from their lungs. There was noise, though not great in its intensity. The flames grumbled rather than crackled and roared and they died away in an instant, seemingly only a second after they’d appeared. Viddo had guessed something like this might be incoming so had averted his eyes, but Jera found imprints of red were left on her vision.

  The buzzing noise had stopped, to be replaced with the usual silence of these caverns. Viddo looked at Rasmus, seeing the anger drain away from his friend’s face.

  “Feel better for that?” he asked.

  “Much better, thank you,” said Rasmus, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

  Jera didn’t ask questions. Instead, she decided to set off towards the dark shape which had been home to the swarm before Rasmus reduced it to ash. Underfoot, there were crispy noises to indicate that some of the undead flies hadn’t been entirely destroyed, but had merely been charred to a crunchy cinder. Jera suppressed a shudder.