Falling for the Bad Girl (Cutting Loose)

by Nina Croft

  Now she wanted him gone. In fact, she would be quite happy if she never saw him again as long as she lived. How could she have ever thought she was in love with him?

  She led him out of the apartment and into the alley. “Bye, Bobby, don’t come back.”

  “Aw, come on, Regan. We were good together.”

  He turned to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, and from the look in his eye, he was about to kiss her, or attempt to kiss her. Her leg twitched as she considered kneeing him in the balls, but then curiosity took over. He’d once made her swoon with just a look. Was that all gone?

  But as soon as his lips touched hers, she knew the answer was yes. There was nothing left except dislike. And she realized in that moment just what she had with Nate. What she was going to lose. The thought knocked her off balance, and it took Bobby’s hand on her ass to bring her to her senses.

  “See, we could be good together, Regan.”

  Oh no we couldn’t.

  Pushing him away, she took a step back and only then noticed the man standing at the entrance to the alley, watching them. How much had he seen? Did it matter? He didn’t trust her anyway. Why should one more thing make a difference?

  “Just go away, Bobby.”

  He opened his mouth, and she glared. “You’ll call me?”

  “Maybe.” But she doubted it. Already a plan was formulating in her mind, and it didn’t involve communicating with her ex ever again. She watched as he hurried by Nate, giving him a suspicious glance as he passed. Then she walked slowly toward him.

  Nate nodded toward the disappearing man. “Bobby Dean?”

  “So?”

  “Your old boyfriend.”

  “Yeah. ‘Old’ being the operative word.”

  “You kissed him.”

  Was he jealous? Did it matter? She knew he wanted her; that wasn’t the issue. That had never been the issue. “Actually, he kissed me.”

  “I came to apologize. I didn’t know you had company.”

  He’d come to apologize? For what? Asking her to be a snitch? Or suggesting she might have kept the diamonds for herself? Both, maybe. Or neither. Perhaps something else entirely. “I don’t. He’s gone.”

  “You should be more careful about who you spend time with. What was he doing here?”

  He sounded suspicious. “Planning our next job,” she snapped. “What do you think he was doing here?” She scowled. “If you came to apologize, you’re doing a crap job.”

  He took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I should never have asked you for information. It was…inappropriate.”

  “And insensitive and totally out of fucking order.”

  “Maybe. I hadn’t meant to ask you. Phil mentioned it last night, and I told him no way. And then it kept eating into my mind, and I started thinking—why wouldn’t you tell me if you knew anything? Maybe I wanted you to choose which side you were on. Maybe I needed you to side with me.”

  “But that didn’t happen, did it?” She reached out and touched him lightly, then dropped her hand to her side. “This is why we agreed to keep our lives separate. Why it can never really work between us.”

  “You really believe that?”

  Did he want things to work between them? Did he want more? Well, today had no doubt changed his mind about that. She guessed it had been some sort of test, albeit a subconscious one. And she had failed spectacularly. But if she had disappointed Nate, then he’d done the same to her.

  “Yeah, I believe that. You’re always going to think the worst of me. Always going to believe I’m not good enough. And one day, you’ll make me choose between my family and you. And that will break me.”

  “I do think you’re good enough. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

  “We’re just on different sides.”

  As he opened his mouth to answer, his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, turned away as he listened for a minute, his shoulders tense. He ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket. When he turned back to her, his face was expressionless. “That was the hospital. I have to go.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “No. Nothing is okay. Everything is a fucking goddamn mess.”

  She bit her lip. He was hurting, and she wanted to hug him better, but he was giving off keep-away vibes, as though he was holding himself in very tightly.

  “You want me to come along?”

  “And hold my hand? No. I have to do this alone. There is one thing you could do for me, though.”

  “Anything.”

  “Trixie is with my neighbor, but she works nights. Could you pick her up, keep her until…”

  “Of course.” She searched for something else to say. She didn’t want him to go. Finally, she accepted defeat. “Good-bye then.”

  “Good-bye.”

  …

  As soon as he walked away, he wished he’d taken her up on her offer. Because he really didn’t want to be alone right now. He turned, meaning to ask her to come along, be with him, make it better. Somehow.

  But she’d already gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  She’d tried to phone him, to find out what was going on, to tell him she’d picked up Trixie, but she hadn’t gotten any answer. His phone was off, which presumably meant he was still at the hospital.

  The day had drained her emotionally. Their relationship was over, but her mind was refusing to accept it. She wanted to be angry with him, but how could she when he was going through so much?

  She’d known when he said good-bye that he’d meant it. But she hated to leave it like this. She needed some sort of closure. And she didn’t want him to think badly of her. If she never saw him again, she needed him to remember her as the person she wanted to be.

  You couldn’t help the family you were born to. And despite what they were, she loved them, and wouldn’t change them.

  Darcy and Summer were waiting for her in the wine bar down the road from the gym. They’d made a point of meeting like this once a week, because despite the fact that they lived together, their paths rarely crossed.

  At least Summer had gotten her life sorted out; she positively glowed with happiness. Darcy spent most of her time in the gym. When she wasn’t taking classes, she was training, though she hadn’t spoken about going back onto the fight circuit. Regan was glad she was seeing them tonight, though. She had something was on her mind and wanted to talk it out, wanted someone to tell her she wasn’t being a total idiot for even contemplating what she was considering.

  They’d already ordered a bottle of wine. Regan sat down, picked up her glass, and drained it in one go. She put it down, and Darcy refilled it. “Bad day?”

  “I think I broke up with Nate.”

  “Aw, I’m sorry, sweetie. But you knew it couldn’t last.”

  “I know. But he thinks I’m a bad person and I hate that.”

  “You’re not a bad person. You’re the best,” Summer said fiercely.

  “Thank you. But Nate will never see things that way.” She sipped from the next glass, and then gave her friends a rueful smile. “I’ll survive.”

  “Of course you will. You’re strong,” Darcy said. “You know your detective came through for me?”

  “He did?”

  “There was an envelope on my desk when I got back tonight. A copy of a confidential report. It listed out disciplinary action taken against Steven over his last few years. There was a lot of it. Drunk on duty, excessive use of force, call out for a domestic disturbance at his house. Plus a copy of the coroner’s report from the accident. He was three times over the limit.”

  So Nate had done what she had refused. He’d sided against his own people. Maybe that really did prove he was the better person. “I’m glad. Will it help? What will you do with it?”

  “I’m not sure yet. I’ll think on it, but I’m going to have to go and see Steven’s brother. Face him in person. Only he’s not around at the moment.”

  “I
hope it works out.”

  “So you said you wanted to ask us something,” Summer said.

  “I have this idea, and it won’t leave me alone. I really need someone to tell me that I’m not totally crazy.”

  “Sounds interesting. But I think we need more wine first.” She raised her hand to a passing waiter, and he nodded. Regan tried to get her thoughts together while they waited. What was the best way to put this? It sort of went against their “going straight” vow. But maybe she could get some sort of special dispensation.

  “Okay,” Darcy said, refilling everyone’s glass. “What’s happening?”

  She took a deep breath. “Do you remember me telling you that Bobby did a vanishing act, taking the diamonds with him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, he turned up today. He wants to come home, offering me half the diamonds if I get my family to back off.”

  “And…?” Summer prompted.

  “And I don’t want half. I want all of them.”

  “Greedy.”

  “Not really. I’m going to hand them over to Nate.” She took another sip from her glass. “Is that totally stupid?”

  “Maybe.” Darcy thought for a moment. “Is this about getting Nate back?”

  “No. I know there’s no future for us. He’s a cop, and my family is a bunch of criminals who have no intention of changing their ways. That would always come between us. I just hate to think of him out there, believing bad things about me. I want him to know I’m serious about going straight.”

  “So how would you get the diamonds back?”

  “First, I have to find them. If Bobby has them in a safe-deposit box, then I’m fucked. I’m not risking breaking into a bank.”

  “But you obviously don’t think that’s the case,” Summer said.

  “No. It’s not Bobby’s style. I think he’ll have them with him. Hidden wherever he’s staying.”

  Darcy topped off their glasses. “And that is?”

  “No clue. But I do have an idea how to find out.”

  “And once you do?”

  “Then I’m going to steal them.”

  Darcy grinned. “I like it.”

  …

  It was after midnight. They’d left him alone. His father was gone. The body on the bed was just that, a body. There was nothing left of the man who had raised him.

  His mind was numb. He should be feeling more…something…but everything was gray and murky, as though nothing made any difference. And never would.

  Tomorrow there would be all sorts of things that needed doing.

  Right now, he sat and stared at the wall.

  His life had been sort of on hold since his father had been diagnosed. This was actually not an ending but a new beginning.

  He’d become a detective because of his father. All those days of being brought into Scotland Yard. Watching the detectives at work. Keeping out of the way because he wasn’t supposed to be there, but his dad had nowhere else to put him. It had been absorbed into his blood. So when it came time to decide what to do with his life, there had never really been any choice. And he was good at it. The fact that he’d begun to find the rules and restrictions irksome was just a reflection of his whole life over the past few years. He’d get over it.

  His father had been the only family he had. Now he was truly alone. But that was maybe the best way to be. Then he had a flashback to dinner at Regan’s. What would it be like to be part of something like that? He could see why she wouldn’t turn away from her family for him. In a way, that was what he’d asked her to do.

  Choose him over them.

  Because there was no way she could have both.

  He wrapped the numbness around himself. It was better not to feel.

  When he switched on his phone, he saw the missed calls. She felt sorry for him, that was all.

  Christ, he’d had to hold himself back when he’d seen that bastard kissing her. She hadn’t kissed him back. That was all that had saved him from making an idiot of himself. He’d been supposed to be apologizing, and instead, he had just made things worse.

  He’d get through this, then he’d go back to work, and he’d do what he’d always done.

  He got up, went across to the bed and kissed his dead father on the forehead.

  Good-bye.

  As he left the hospital, he gave in to the urge and returned her call. There was no answer. His chest ached and he rubbed at his eyes, trying to dispel the dark haze of exhaustion.

  Her phone was switched off. Of course it was. It was nearly one in the morning. She was probably fast asleep.

  …

  Regan slipped the knife under the window and eased it up. She slung her leg over the sill and slid into the room. Bobby wasn’t taking any chances. He’d rented a place with a state-of-the-art security system. But he’d clearly never suspected that she would come after him.

  He was—hopefully—fast asleep in his bed up the stairs, and she wouldn’t have to go anywhere near him. She’d gotten the information on his whereabouts from Alicia—her onetime best friend and Bobby’s baby sister. The sister he’d told Regan was dying of a rare form of cancer that could only be cured by expensive treatment in the States. Just help him with the one job, Bobby had said, and that would pay for all her medical bills.

  And she’d fallen for it.

  She was so gullible.

  When Regan had found out the truth—that there had never been anything wrong with Alicia—she’d never gone after her friend. She’d also never told her family why she’d done that particular job, when she’d resisted all their efforts to get her involved in the family business. But then, she hadn’t really blamed Alicia. Her once-friend was pretty and vacuous and had always been under her brother’s thumb. What would have been the point? Revenge? Regan had made a decision to put the past behind her. And it would have remained there if Bobby hadn’t shown up on her doorstep.

  She’d asked Alicia politely for her brother’s location. Then she’d told her friend that she’d reveal to her family what Alicia had done if Alicia didn’t give up the information. Her former friend had gone all weepy and pathetic—really, what had she seen in either of them?—but eventually she’d given Regan Bobby’s current address.

  And so, here she was. Dressed in black from head to toe, a pair of thin leather gloves on her hands, a balaclava over her face.

  Taking back what was—if not exactly hers—more hers than Bobby’s. This was to be her validation. Her definitive proof that she was a good girl at heart.

  Hah. Who was she kidding?

  But at least she’d be able to stand in front of Nate and say, look, you were wrong about me. And here’s the proof. And then she’d walk away.

  Alicia had told her the diamonds were in a safe downstairs. Bobby had shown them to her just that day, boasting that as soon as he’d gotten Regan’s family off his back, he would contact his buyer, and he’d be rich.

  Never going to happen.

  Regan had made some sarcastic comment at that point about Alicia’s treatment, but it had gone straight over her friend’s head; she’d never been that bright.

  Silently, she slipped through the dark house.

  The safe was exactly where she expected. It wasn’t even a challenge, and she opened it in less than five minutes. And there they were. She peered into the black velvet bag. Pretty little sparkly things. They meant nothing to her. She’d never really been interested in the proceeds of a life of crime. It was more the crime itself. Pitting herself against the best systems in the world. That hint of danger. Living on the edge.

  She’d mostly outgrown that craving, thankfully. Prison would do that to a person.

  After putting the diamonds safely in her backpack, she placed a note to Bobby in the safe. The note set out, in no uncertain terms, exactly what would happen if he made any sort of fuss. Then she closed up the safe and headed back the way she had come. She shut the window behind her, crossed the small lawn, and heaved herself over the fence at
the back. Darcy was waiting for her.

  “You found them?”

  “Oh yeah,” she said, tugging the mask over her head and shoving it in her bag.

  “Then let’s get the hell out of here.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  His dad would have been pleased with the turnout. It looked like half the force was here. His old boss gave a moving speech. The man was ten years older than Nate’s dad and was still healthy and fit. Life wasn’t fair.

  But then, hadn’t he been taught that at an early age?

  He’d half expected Regan to turn up—or maybe “hoped” was a better word. He hadn’t heard anything from her in the week since his father’s death except a brief text message of condolence, in reply to the one he had sent her.

  After a month of almost constant sunshine, today was gray and overcast with a fine drizzle in the air. The funeral was taking place at Highgate Cemetery. His mother was buried here as well, and he and his dad had come often when he was younger. It was a beautiful place with a sense of peace and age, and he tried to get the atmosphere to sink in as he listened to the drone of the vicar’s voice.

  He was clinging to the numb state of his brain. Maybe because he couldn’t rid himself of the feeling that he was teetering on the edge of a high place and about to fall. That he’d had a chance to change the direction of his life. And he’d failed. Spectacularly.

  As he dropped the soil on his father’s coffin, he glanced up and across the graveyard, and there she was, standing beneath an oak tree. His heart rate picked up, and for the first time since his dad had died, a light pierced the fog in his brain.

  She’d come.

  Was there hope, after all?

  But by the time he straightened, she was gone.

  As he was leaving the cemetery, a small boy approached him and handed him a note.

  Meet me in the bar at the Ritz tonight at eight.

  It wasn’t signed. But who else could it be from?

  …

  She half expected him not to turn up. He’d buried his father today, and part of her felt guilty about doing this now.

  But maybe it would be a relief.

  Another closure, and afterward, he could move on with his life.