The Kindly Ones

by Jonathan Littell

  In the end I spent the night at the Staatspolizei. Thomas had sandwiches, tea, and soup delivered. He lent me one of his spare uniforms, a little too big for me, but more presentable than my rags; a smiling typist took charge of switching the stripes and insignia. They had set up folding cots in the gymnasium for about fifteen homeless officers; I ran into Eduard Holste there, whom I had briefly known as Leiter IV/V of Group D, at the end of 1942; he had lost everything and was almost crying with bitterness. Unfortunately the showers still didn’t work, and I could wash only my hands and face. My throat hurt, I coughed, but Thomas’s schnapps had cut the taste of ash a little. Outside, we still heard explosions. The wind roared, raging and relentless.

  Very early in the morning, without waiting for Piontek, I took the car from the garage and went home. The streets, obstructed by burned or overturned trolleys, fallen trees, rubble, were hard to navigate. A cloud of black, acrid smoke veiled the sky and many passersby were holding wet towels or handkerchiefs over their mouths. It was still drizzling. I passed lines of people pushing strollers or little wagonsful of belongings, or else lugging or dragging suitcases. Everywhere water was escaping from pipes, I had to drive through pools hiding debris that could shred my tires at any moment. Still, many cars were still circulating, most of them without windows and some even missing doors, but full of people: those who had space picked up bombing victims, and I did the same for an exhausted mother with two young children who wanted to go see her parents. I cut through the devastated Tiergarten; the Victory Column, still standing as if out of defiance, rose in the midst of a large lake formed by the water from shattered mains, and I had to make a big detour to skirt round it. I dropped the woman off in the rubble of the Händelallee and went on to my apartment. Everywhere, teams were at work repairing the damage; in front of destroyed buildings, sappers were pumping air into collapsed basements and digging to free survivors, assisted by Italian prisoners—everyone nowadays just called them the Badoglios—with the letters KGF painted in red on their backs. The S-Bahn station in the Brückenallee lay in ruins; I lived a little farther, on Flensburgerstrasse; my building looked miraculously intact: a hundred and fifty meters farther, there was nothing but rubble and gaping façades. The elevator, of course, didn’t work, so I climbed the eight flights, passing my neighbors sweeping the stairway or nailing up their doors as best they could. I found mine torn from its hinges and lying sideways; inside, a thick layer of broken glass and plaster covered everything; there were traces of footsteps and my gramophone had disappeared, but nothing else seemed to have been taken. A cold, biting wind blew through the windows. I quickly filled a suitcase, then went downstairs to arrange with my neighbor, who came from time to time to do housework for me, to come and clean up; I gave her money to have the door repaired that day, and the windows as soon as possible; she promised to contact me at the SS-Haus when the apartment was more or less livable. I went out in search of a hotel: above all, I dreamed of a bath. The closest was the Eden Hotel, where I had already stayed for a time. I had luck, the entire Budapesterstrasse seemed razed, but the Eden was still open. The front desk was being taken by storm, rich people who had been left homeless, officers arguing over rooms. When I had mentioned my rank, my medals, my disability, and lied by exaggerating the state of my apartment, the manager, who had recognized me, agreed to give me a bed, provided I share the room. I held out a banknote to the floor waiter so he would bring hot water to my room: finally, around ten o’clock, I was able to run a bath, lukewarm but delectable. The water immediately turned black, but I didn’t care. I was still soaking when they let my roommate in. He excused himself politely through the closed bathroom door and told me he’d wait below until I was ready. As soon as I was dressed I went down to look for him: he was a Georgian aristocrat, very elegant, who had fled his burning hotel with his things and had ended up here.

  My colleagues all had the idea to meet at the SS-Haus. I found Piontek there, imperturbable; Fräulein Praxa, prettily dressed, although her wardrobe had gone up in smoke; all cheerful because his neighborhood had been spared, Walser; and, a little shaken up, Isenbeck, whose old neighbor had died of a heart attack right next to him, during the alert, in the dark, without his noticing. Weinrowski had returned some time ago to Oranienburg. As for Asbach, he had sent word: his wife was wounded, he would come as soon as he could. I sent Piontek to tell him to take a few days if he needed to: there wasn’t much chance we could get back to work right away anyway. I sent Fräulein Praxa home, and in the company of Walser and Isenbeck went to the ministry to see what could still be saved. The fire had been contained, but the west wing was still closed; a fireman escorted us through the rubble. Most of the top floor had burned down, as well as the attic: in our offices, only one room, with a file cabinet that had survived the fire, remained, but it had been flooded by the firemen’s hoses. Through a section of collapsed wall you could see part of the ravaged Tiergarten; leaning out, I saw that the Lehrter Bahnhof had also suffered, but the thick smoke that weighed over the city prevented me from seeing farther; in the distance, though, the lines of burned avenues could still be made out. I undertook to move the surviving files with my colleagues, along with a typewriter and a telephone. It was a delicate task, since the fire had burned holes in the floor in places, and the hallways were obstructed with rubble that had to be cleared. When Piontek joined us, we filled the car and I sent him to take everything to the SS-Haus. There I was assigned a temporary storage closet, but nothing more; Brandt was still too overwhelmed to worry about me. Since I had nothing else to do, I dismissed Walser and Isenbeck and had Piontek drop me off at the Eden Hotel, after arranging with him to come pick me up the next morning: without a family, he could just as well sleep in the garage. I went down to the bar and ordered a Cognac. My roommate, the Georgian, wearing a fedora and a white scarf, was playing Mozart on the piano, with a remarkably precise touch. When he stopped, I offered him a drink and chatted a little with him. He was vaguely affiliated with one of those groups of émigrés who were always bustling about the dens of the Auswärtiges Amt and the SS; the name Misha Kedia, when he mentioned it, sounded vaguely familiar. When he learned that I had been in the Caucasus, he leapt up enthusiastically, ordered another round, gave a solemn and interminable toast (although I had never set foot on his side of the mountains), forced me to empty my glass in one swallow, and invited me on the spot to come stay in Tiflis after our forces had freed it, in his ancestral home. Little by little the bar filled up. Around seven o’clock, conversations trailed off, people began to eye the clock over the bar: ten minutes later the sirens started up, then the flak, violent and close. The manager had come to assure us that the bar also served as a shelter; all the hotel clients came downstairs, and soon there was no more room. The ambiance became cheerful and animated: as the first bombs got closer, the Georgian went back to the piano and dove into a jazz tune; women in evening gowns got up to dance, the walls and chandeliers trembled, glasses fell from the bar and shattered, you could scarcely hear the music beneath the explosions, the air pressure became unbearable, I drank, several women, hysterical, laughed, another tried to kiss me, then burst out sobbing. When it was over, the manager handed out a round on the house. I went out: the zoo had been hit, pavilions were burning, again you could see fires pretty much everywhere; I smoked a cigarette, regretting I hadn’t gone to see the animals while there was still time. A section of wall had collapsed; I walked over to it, men were running in every direction, some were carrying shotguns, there was talk of lions and tigers roaming free. Several firebombs had fallen, and beyond the avalanche of bricks, I saw the galleries burning; the large Indian temple had been gutted; inside, a man who was walking next to me explained, they had found the elephants’ corpses torn to pieces by the bombs, as well as a rhinoceros seemingly intact but also dead, maybe from fear. Behind me, most of the buildings on Budapesterstrasse were burning too. I went to lend a hand to the firemen; for hours I helped clear away the rubble; every five mi
nutes a whistle blew, and work stopped so the rescuers could listen for the muffled sounds of trapped people; and we got some of them out alive, wounded or even unhurt. Around midnight I went back to the Eden; the façade was damaged, but the structure had escaped a direct hit; at the bar, the party was still going on. My new Georgian friend forced me to drink several glasses in a row; the uniform Thomas had lent me was covered in filth and soot, but that didn’t prevent women of the highest society from flirting with me; few of them, it seemed, wanted to spend the night alone. The Georgian did so well that I got completely drunk: the next morning, I woke up on my bed, without any memory of climbing up to my room, with my tunic and shirt removed, but not my boots. The Georgian was snoring in the next bed. I cleaned up as well as I could, put on one of my clean uniforms, and gave Thomas’s over to be washed; leaving my sleeping neighbor there, I downed a bad coffee, took an aspirin for my headache, and returned to the Prinz-Albrechtstrasse.

  The officers of the Reichsführung all looked a little wild: a number of them hadn’t slept all night; many had ended up homeless, and several had lost someone in their family. In the lobby and the stairways, inmates in striped uniforms, guarded by some Totenkopf-SS, were sweeping the floor, nailing up boards, repainting the walls. Brandt asked me to help some officers draw up an estimation of the damage for the Reichsführer, by contacting the municipal authorities. The work was simple enough: each of us chose a sector—victims, housing, government buildings, infrastructure, industry—and contacted the proper authorities to note down their figures. I was set up with an office that had a telephone and a directory; a few lines still worked, and I put Fräulein Praxa there—she had unearthed a new outfit somewhere—so she could call the hospitals. To get him out from underfoot, I decided to send Isenbeck, with the salvaged files, to join his boss Weinrowski in Oranienburg, and asked Piontek to drive him there. Walser hadn’t come. When Fräulein Praxa managed to reach a hospital, I asked for the number of dead and wounded they had received; when she had made a list of three or four institutions we couldn’t reach by phone, I sent a driver and an orderly to collect the data. Asbach arrived around noon, his features drawn, making a visible effort to look composed. I took him to the mess for sandwiches and tea. Slowly, between mouthfuls, he told me what had happened: The first night, the building where his wife had joined her mother had taken a direct hit and had collapsed onto the shelter, which had only partly held up. Asbach’s mother-in-law had apparently been killed immediately or had at least died quickly; his wife had been buried alive and they hadn’t been able to free her till the next morning, unhurt aside from a broken arm, but incoherent; she had had a miscarriage during the night, and still hadn’t recovered her wits; she went from a childlike babbling to hysterical tears. “I’m going to have to bury her mother without her,” Asbach said sadly as he sipped his tea. “I’d have liked to wait a little, for her to recover, but the morgues are overflowing and the medical authorities are afraid of epidemics. Apparently all the bodies that haven’t been reclaimed in twenty-four hours will be buried in mass graves. It’s terrible.” I tried my best to console him, but, I have to admit, I’m not very good at that sort of thing: my words about his future conjugal happiness must have sounded pretty hollow. Still it seemed to comfort him. I sent him home with a driver from the Reichsführung, promising I’d find him a van for the funeral the next day.

  The Tuesday raid, even though it had involved only half as many aircraft as Monday’s, promised to turn out to be even more disastrous. The working-class neighborhoods, especially Wedding, had been hit hard. By the end of the afternoon we had gathered enough information to form a brief report: we counted about 2,000 dead, with hundreds more beneath the rubble; 3,000 buildings burned or destroyed; and 175,000 people homeless, of whom 100,000 had already been able to leave the city, either for surrounding villages or other cities in Germany. Around six o’clock we dismissed all the people who weren’t doing essential work; I stayed a little longer, and was still on the road, with a driver from the garage, when the sirens began to wail again. I decided not to continue on to the Eden: the bar-shelter didn’t inspire much confidence in me, and I preferred to avoid a repetition of the drinking bout of the night before. I ordered the driver to go around the zoo to reach the large bunker. A crowd was pressed at the doors, which were too narrow and too few; cars came and parked at the foot of the concrete façade; in front of them, in a reserved area, dozens of baby carriages stretched out in concentric circles. Inside, soldiers and policemen barked out orders for people to move upstairs; at each floor a crowd formed, no one wanted to go higher up, women were screaming, while their children ran through the crowd playing war games. We were directed to the third floor, but the benches, lined up as in a church, were already crowded, and I went to lean against the concrete wall. My driver had disappeared in the crowd. Soon afterward the .88s on the roof opened fire: the entire immense structure vibrated, pitching like a ship on the high seas. People, thrown against their neighbors, shouted or groaned. The lights dimmed but didn’t go out. In recesses and in the darkness of the spiral staircases leading from floor to floor, teenage couples clung to each other, intertwined; some even seemed to be making love—you could hear through the explosions moans of a different tone from those of panic-stricken housewives; old people protested indignantly, the Schupos bellowed, ordering people to remain seated. I wanted to smoke but it was forbidden. I looked at the woman sitting on the bench in front of me: she kept her head lowered, I could just see her blond, exceptionally thick, shoulder-length hair. A bomb exploded nearby, making the bunker tremble and throwing up a cloud of concrete dust. The young woman raised her head and I recognized her right away: she was the one I met sometimes in the morning, on the trolley. She too recognized me and a gentle smile lit up her face while she held out her white hand to me: “Hello! I was worried about you.”—“Why?” With the flak and the explosions we could barely hear each other, I crouched down and bent toward her. “You weren’t at the pool Sunday,” she said into my ear. “I was afraid something had happened to you.” Sunday was already another life, it seemed to me; but it was only three days ago. “I was in the country. Does the pool still exist?” She smiled again: “I don’t know.” Another powerful explosion shook the structure and she seized my hand and grasped it strongly; when it was over she let it go, excusing herself. Despite the yellowish light and the dust, I had the impression she was blushing slightly. “Forgive me,” I asked her, “what is your name?”—“Helene,” she replied. “Helene Anders.” I introduced myself. She worked at the press agency of the Auswärtiges Amt; her office, like most of the ministry, had been destroyed Monday night, but her parents’ house, in Alt Moabit, where she lived, was still standing. “Before this raid, in any case. And you?” I laughed: “I had offices at the Ministry of the Interior, but they burned down. For now, I’m at the SS-Haus.” We continued chatting till the end of the alert. She had gone on foot to Charlottenburg to comfort a homeless girlfriend; the sirens had caught her on the way back, and she had taken refuge there, in the bunker. “I didn’t think they’d come back a third night in a row,” she said softly.—“To tell the truth, I didn’t either,” I replied, “but I’m happy it’s given us the chance to see each other again.” I said that to be polite; but I realized it wasn’t just to be polite. This time, she blushed visibly; her tone still remained frank and clear: “Me too. Our trolley will probably be out of service for a while.” When the lights came back on, she got up and brushed off her coat. “If you like,” I said, “I can take you home. If I still have a car,” I added, laughing. “Don’t say no. It’s not very far away.”

  I found my driver next to his vehicle, looking very upset: it no longer had any windows, and the whole side had been crushed in by the car next to it, propelled by the blast of an explosion. Of the baby carriages, only scattered debris remained on the square. The zoo was burning again, you could hear atrocious sounds, the bellowing, trumpeting, lowing of dying animals. “The poor beasts,�
� Helene murmured, “they don’t know what’s happening to them.” The driver was only thinking about his car. I went to find some Schupos so they could help us free it. The passenger door was jammed; I had Helene get in the back, then slipped in over the driver’s seat. The ride turned out to be a little complicated, we had to take a detour through the Tiergarten, because of the blocked streets, but I was happy to see, passing by Flensburgerstrasse, that my building had survived. Alt Moabit, aside from a few stray bombs, had been more or less spared, and I dropped Helene off in front of her small building. “Now,” I said as I left her, “I know where you live. If you don’t mind, I’ll come visit when things have calmed down a little.”—“I’d be delighted,” she replied with again that very beautiful, calm smile she had. Then I went back to the Eden Hotel, where I found nothing but a gaping shell in flames. Three bombs had gone through the roof and nothing was left. Fortunately the bar had held up, the hotel residents had escaped with their lives and had been evacuated. My Georgian neighbor was drinking Cognac straight from the bottle with some other now-homeless people; as soon as he saw me, he made me take a swig. “I’ve lost everything! Everything! What I miss most are the shoes. Four new pairs!”—“Do you have a place to go?” He shrugged: “I’ve got some friends not too far away. On Rauchstrasse.”—“Come on, I’ll drive you there.” The house that the Georgian pointed out had no more windows but seemed still inhabited. I waited for a few minutes while he went in to see what he could find out. He returned looking cheerful: “Perfect! They’re going to Marienbad, I’ll leave with them. Will you come in and have a drink?” I refused politely, but he insisted: “Come on! For the pososhok.” I felt drained, exhausted. I wished him good luck and left without further ado. At the Staatspolizei, an Untersturmführer told me that Thomas had found refuge at Schellenberg’s place. I had a bite to eat, had a bed set up for me in the improvised dormitory, and fell asleep.