Don't Stop Holding Me (Y.A Series Book 5)

by Sarah Tork

  Tiger: Ok?

  Annabelle: Well, what are you waiting for, go talk with your grandpa.

  Tiger: Fine, bye.

  Annabelle: bye.

  Green was my favorite color, but right now I felt myself turn jealous green over Grandpa Lawson taking James away for whatever the reason, be it good or bad. I wanted more communication. Texting wasn’t enough.

  Maybe James just didn’t get it.

  Maybe he didn’t need me as much as I needed him.

  Maybe he went to his grandpa’s to get away from everybody.

  Or, maybe he went over there to just get away from me….

  Deep breaths, and then count to ten… one, two, three, four… five…. six… seven… eight… nine…. ten.

  Last night I fell asleep with him right beside me. I wanted every night for the rest of my life to be like last night. This morning I woke up, him on one side, and me on the other with my knee dangerously close to his groin which we had a good laugh about. And even though our breaths stunk, my eyeliner had smudged and his hair was a mess, I felt cozy warm…. like how you’d wake up on Christmas morning with a roaring fire and hot chocolate and presents galore underneath the tree. Afterwards he dropped me off at work, we kissed and then he left.

  “Salad’s ready!” my mom yelled from the kitchen.

  “Be down in a minute!” I yelled back.

  “Hurry, it’ll get cold!” she yelled back.

  What? Salad is supposed to be cold. I shook my head and went to the bathroom where I washed my face and combed my hair, fixing it into a clean ponytail. I did all this while doing my best to ignore the scale. I wanted to pull it out from beneath the vanity and step on it, just to put my mind at ease, and to make sure I hadn’t gained any weight. But I couldn’t do that anymore, because I had made a decision.

  No more scales.

  It was a matter of mental health!

  Scales were strange machines. Numbers went up and down due to technical glitches or water fluctuation. I thought I figured things out a few weeks ago, but I’ve realized something. I was a work in progress and making mistakes on the daily was better assumed than not.

  “See you never,” I promised the mean machine on my way out.

  Downstairs, waiting on the kitchen table was a huge bowl of Caesar salad with crispy crumbled pieces of bacon. And it looked like it could feed at least three people. My mind calculated portions and calories on the automatic. That was dumb of me to do, and I quickly pushed those thoughts to the side.

  “I made a bit extra in case you wanted more.” my mom said with a huge smile on her face.

  I cleared my throat. “Thanks,” I took a seat and grabbed a fork. I felt my mom watch me from behind, waiting for me to chow down. I stabbed with my fork and brought a combination of things to my mouth.

  “Yummy, right Anna!” my mom gushed. “Can you feel the antioxidants make you better, yet? I always feel wonderful after a salad.”

  Make me better?

  “Is everything okay?” my mom asked.

  Ah, my old friend Transparency, timing its appearance sinisterly as per usual.

  I wished both it and my mom would just leave me alone.

  “I’m okay.” I answered, stuffing my mouth with more salad.

  She took a seat next to me and rubbed my shoulder strangely. “Only if you’re sure,”

  Her touch felt weird, like it didn’t belong there. Warm embraces from my parents were an anomaly. Alien like. It made me nervous, and it made my shoulder all anxious and jumpy, like spiky tingles that I wanted to slap away, but I couldn’t. I’d get sent to the loony bin for sure, or worse stranger looks and hidden whispers about how to deal with the “fucked up” daughter who wasn’t fooling anyone.

  But if that’s how they saw me, then screw them all. I was a work in progress and there’d be a day when all this would be funny, and maybe I’d find a person or two to commiserate with, sharing similar stories of their teen years where nothing made sense.

  I ate half. I was full and that was ME being honest. I’d eat the rest later. Dinner was in a few hours anyways.

  Yay, more time with family.

  Later that night, dinner came and went, and the house was silent because everyone had gone out for the evening. Dad went to an old horror film festival with his friends. Mom went to Grandma’s house for a ladies night. Katherine was at a friend’s house. And Charles went out somewhere.

  This empty house was mine until half past ten tonight, at least.

  That’s how I like it…

  Annabelle: Are you still at your grandpa’s house?

  Annabelle: I guess you’re still busy then….

  Annabelle: I wish you were here, right next to me.

  Five minutes passed and there was still no response. I guess he was still with his grandpa. If not… then I guess he was just ignoring me. I collapsed over my bed and stared at my ceiling, waiting for a movie to start, but nothing came to mind. Stories were for optimists, and dread filled me currently. Dark grey clouds capsized my imagination. I saw thunder and lightening highlight my room, and then it rained, pouring all over me while I lay lifelessly, letting my misery drench me.

  I am so dramatic!

  Chapter 6

  ANNABELLE

  Sunday November 4, 2012

  Dean: How are you?

  Annabelle: I’m okay.

  Dean: Aren’t you going to ask me how I’m doing?

  Annabelle: Dean, why are you texting me? You know I have a boyfriend.

  Dean: Don’t remind me. By the way your boyfriend is a bitch.

  Annabelle: Wow, what a great conversation. Goodbye.

  Dean: He attacked my friends and I at Thompsons Park yesterday. He’s a fucking joke with an attitude problem. I can’t believe you chose this guy!

  Annabelle: I’m going to block you!

  Dean: Then do it already! Because I’m not going to stop until you see the light. Why are you with that guy??

  Annabelle: Because I love him. Now stop bugging me!

  Dean: He doesn’t deserve you, Anna.

  Annabelle: Oh yeah? Then who “deserves” me, Dean?

  Dean: You should be with me.

  Annabelle: Focus on Raina. She really likes you.

  Dean: I don’t care about her.

  Annabelle: Well you should. Besides, you don’t even know me.

  Dean: And that douchebag does?

  Annabelle: Yeah he does actually.

  Dean: He’s not a good person.

  Annabelle: Well he is to me, and that’s all that matters. Now leave me alone, before I block you forever!

  By the afternoon my homework was all done. My parents were working in the basement, my sister was on the phone, and my brother was in his room… but I think I heard porn five minutes ago.

  So gross, but funny… I smirked and searched Facebook for updates. No one seemed to be online today. But then something happened, my phone buzzed, chiming with an incoming text. This time it had to be James… I mean who else could it be?

  Andy: You busy?

  Annabelle: Hi, no I’m not busy. What’s up?

  Andy: I’m kind of losing my mind. My boyfriend won’t call or text me back.

  Annabelle: That sucks. I know what that feels like.

  Andy: I know right. I mean he wanted me to work and I took this job so I could help out with the bills. But then he leaves town for the weekend and won’t be back till tonight. I’m angry.

  Annabelle: So what are you going to do?

  Andy: What I do all the other times. Wait for him to call me, begging to see me, and then when I have him on his knees, I’ll make him wait some more, torture him with endless naked selfie pics and then forgive him. The same thing keeps happening over and over again.

  Annabelle: Break the cycle then.

  Andy: I can’t. I love him.

  Annabelle: Why couldn’t you go out of town with him? Was it a work thing?

  Andy: Not exactly….

  Annabelle: What exac
tly is it then?

  Andy: Well, he kind of went out of town with his family.

  Annabelle: His family? Like his mom and dad?

  Andy: No.

  Annabelle: Aunts, Uncles and cousins.

  Andy: No.

  Annabelle: Brother and sister?

  Andy: No.

  Annabelle: Then who?

  Andy: Ugh, I can’t believe I’m going to say this. All right…. he went with his family, as in his wife and two kids.

  Annabelle: OMG!!!

  Andy: I know!!

  Annabelle: Your boyfriend is married?? How does that even work?

  Andy: Don’t remind me, please! I know. I’m a slut.

  Annabelle: Your boyfriend is cheating on his wife with you?

  Andy: Yes. But I love him and he loves me. He’s going to divorce his wife before the summer. He’s just waiting for a promotion from work.

  Annabelle: That makes no sense.

  Andy: Hey, fuck off. I didn’t text you to get judged. You said you’d be an ear for me.

  Annabelle: How have I judged you? I’m just in shock.

  Andy: Whatever. Let me give you some advice. When you fall as deeply in love as I have, there’s nothing in life strong enough to keep you away. Nothing. Goodbye.

  Annabelle: Bye?

  “What the hell was that?” I tossed my phone on my bed and collapsed “dramatically” on the floor. My phone buzzed, chiming with another incoming text. But it wasn’t Andy this time…. it was James.

  It’s about time…

  Tiger: I’m not blowing you off. A lot has happened. Today was crazy. I’m just trying to cool off.

  Annabelle: What happened?

  Tiger: My grandpa helped me move out of my dad’s house.

  Annabelle: What! How was that possible?

  Tiger: A lot of yelling and fighting, that’s how. Don’t ask for the details, it wasn’t pretty.

  Annabelle: So you’re at your grandpa’s house now?

  Tiger: Yes. We just got back from the gym. He signed me up for a few training sessions with a coach there.

  Annabelle: What kind of coach?

  Tiger: Boxing.

  Annabelle: Boxing? What about baseball?

  Tiger: What about it? I’m still going to play baseball.

  Annabelle: Did you get all your stuff from your dad’s house?

  Tiger: No. That asshole got his hands on my last bag. It had my laptop and some clothes. He said it belonged to him because I’m a selfish piece of shit that owed him money now, and that he was going to sell the laptop and donate the rest. He said if I came back for it and stepped foot on his property again he’d call the police.

  Annabelle: Why didn’t your grandpa step in and get it back?

  Tiger: We already got away to the car and said fuck it. I’ll get a new one.

  Annabelle: Are you relaxed now?

  Tiger: Yeah, my grandpa gave me a room in the basement. It’s private and I have my own entrance out.

  Annabelle: Well, I’m glad you’re okay and out of that house.

  Tiger: I missed you baby. You know that right?

  Annabelle: Yeah.

  Tiger: I’m in so much pain right now, training was brutal.

  Annabelle: Okay, feel better. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  Tiger: What’s the rush? I’d feel much better if you were right next to me.

  Annabelle: Okay.

  Tiger: Okay?

  Annabelle: Yeah, okay.

  Tiger: Don’t start again. Please.

  Annabelle: Don’t start what?

  Tiger: You’re doing that okay shit again.

  Annabelle: Whatever.

  Chapter 7

  ANNABELLE

  It’s 8 p.m.

  And I’m about to do something stupid.

  “Jenna needs me. Can I go out?” I lied to my mom, who was reading in the living room.

  She checked her watch. “Alright, but be home before ten, it’s a school night.”

  Twenty minutes later, I stood on the sidewalk in front of a house that James no longer lived in. The front door opened and I quickly hid behind the bushes. Mr. Lawson stormed out, slamming the front door and making me jump. He climbed in to his car.

  “Fuck!” he roared and stormed back inside his house. “Where the hell is my credit card, Janet!”

  “You lying scumbag!” Janet yelled. “You’re going to go see your whore again!”

  “You’re crazy,” Mr. Lawson barked out laughing. “I’m meeting the guys for drinks.”

  “Liar!” Janet shrieked.

  Mr. Lawson laughed again. “You’re delusional. And you’re one to talk about me cheating. Don’t you remember how we got together?”

  “You bastard!” Janet shrieked. “I want a divorce!”

  “You’re embarrassing yourself.” Mr. Lawson laughed loudly. “Didn’t you have the time of your life this weekend, prancing around your friends, trying to one up them by showing off that dining set you had shipped to the cottage. Who do you think paid for that shit? You haven’t had a job since you were down on your knees doing your secretarial duties for me.”

  “You, bastard! At least all my children love me. James couldn’t wait to get away from you. He knows exactly who his father is. An evil monster!”

  “Shut up! You don’t know shit!” Mr. Lawson roared.

  Janet screamed again. “Go screw yourself! I know everything. Him staying here was all about child support!”

  The front door slammed again and Mr. Lawson slid inside his truck with his phone to his ear.

  “Where are you?” he asked, his tone more relaxed, a huge contrast to a minute ago. The truck rolled down the driveway with both windows down. “Baby, you know the drill. Don’t fucking cry, okay. I’m coming over now, so… get ready for daddy.”

  Ewwww!!! I cringed as the truck disappeared down the road. Minutes later, a silver car pulled up and an older woman jumped out, running toward the house. The front door yanked open and Janet ran out, colliding with the woman at halfway, hugging her like her life depended on it.

  “Oh, Mom.” Janet cried.

  Janet’s mom hugged her closer. “I told you that man was no good.”

  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Janet pulled back a little and stared at her mom

  “I know, I know….” Janet’s mom hugged her one more time and then pulled away. “Come on. Let’s go before that monster comes back.”

  Janet nodded and ran back inside the house. “Kids! Graham, Kelsey, let’s go!”

  Five minutes later, Janet rushed back outside, carrying two huge pieces of luggage and a red duffle bag.

  Her kids came running out. “Where are we going?”

  Janet pointed to their grandmother. “We’re going to Grandma’s house.”

  Her mom rushed over and picked up the duffle bag. “Kids, get in the car please. Quickly now, I made chicken pot pie and chocolate cake with raspberry glaze and whip cream!”

  Both kids lit up joyously. “Yay!” They ran to the car and got in.

  Janet locked the front door and her mom wiped tears off her face while saying. “Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay.” They got in the car and drove away, screeching down the street like Mr. Lawson knew what they were doing and was on his way back to stop them.

  Here’s the part where I may have just made one of the WORST DECISIONS of my life. I crossed their driveway and entered their backyard. Their lawn was freshly mowed, smelling like fresh cut grass and dirt. The patio was clean with furniture, arranged to perfection by the patio door…. which wasn’t close all the day way.