Don't Stop Holding Me (Y.A Series Book 5)

by Sarah Tork

Her face went from shocked to frazzled. “I didn’t think you were serious.”

  What the hell?

  Was I not a woman of my word?

  Breaking promises wasn’t something I aspired to do. “If I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it.”

  Mom smiled. “I see that now.” she murmured and glanced back at Katherine’s homework before starting to cry with joy. “I’m so happy!”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Here we go again.

  The day went on, although good vibes didn’t last long after my homework session with Katherine. While doing my own homework, thirteen year old drama from the night before erupted, resulting in multiple door slams, a few soccer ball kicks to the wall, and a few swear words catapulting out of nowhere. According to our parents, their children were not supposed to swear. Charles ruined that perception for them, turning this afternoon into chaos. So it was pretty much back to normal, but not exactly.

  “Leave me alone!” Charles roared at Mom and Dad. “You guys don’t fucking understand what I’m going through!”

  Mom gasped loudly. “Don’t you ever use that word again!”

  “That’s it, you’re grounded!” Dad yelled. “Why are you acting like this?”

  Insert Teen Boy Dramatics Here: “You wouldn’t understand!”

  “What do you mean, we wouldn’t understand? What’s there to understand? I mean… is it about a…. girl?” Mom asked, looking like a robot about to malfunction at the possibility of her little boy having a…. girlfriend.

  THE HORROR!

  “You’re too young to be having a girlfriend!” Mom concluded.

  “Oh my god! Leave me alone.” Charles moaned in protest. Worst conversation ever! As of yesterday, Charles was single. But me on the other hand, I still had a boyfriend. If my parents ever found out, they might use it as a bargaining tool to manipulate me?

  “If you don’t clean your room for the rest of the week, you can’t have ice cream with James on Sunday!”

  Something like that….

  “Don’t you speak to us like that.” Dad roared. “That’s it, give us your phone. You’ve lost your cellphone privilege for a whole week.”

  If he could have shot fire cannons with his eyes, Charles would have. He gritted his teeth and looked at our parents with disgust. “I hate you. I hate this family!”

  So, that was our afternoon.

  Awhile later, while I was studying, there was a knock on my door. “Yes?”

  Mom opened my door and stepped inside with a huge shopping bag swinging by her side. “Look what Mommy bought you this Black Friday! Pretty stuff and a cute pair of jeweled sandals.”

  She placed the bag on my bed and took a seat next to me. “Well, what are you waiting for? I expect a fashion show. Strut your stuff.”

  I grinned, liking this version of my mom. “Fine, I will.” I drawled, holding out my hand for the first item she wanted me to try on. She handed me a dress and I left my room to change in the bathroom. My mom had seen me naked plenty of times… when I was three, I mean. But now as a fully developed woman, there was no way I’d be going all au naturel, or even stripping down to my bra and panties in front of her.

  No way.

  I changed quickly inside the bathroom, sliding the strap of the pink flowery printed sundress over my shoulder. I examined myself in the mirror. The dress was very beautiful in a very girly kind of way. Très feminine. But… honestly, it looked like something Donna and Stacey would wear.

  If this dress weren’t so pink, I’d totally wear it. But… yeah… if I actually wear this pink dress to school, Donna and Stacey will think I’m trying to copy their style, and another war would start.

  I sighed in frustration and went back to my room and stood in front of my mom.

  “You look beautiful!” Mom gushed. “Do you love it?”

  The cringe was real, but I did my best to mask it. “Sure. I mean… it’s okay.”

  Mom clapped her hands and then went digging for more stuff in her shopping bag. “Oooh, I almost forgot! I also bought undies for you!” She whipped out a package of ladies’ underwear and tossed it at me.

  I caught the package and examined the cover. “Lovely. Full fit cotton briefs in medium, three in beige and three in black. Machine washable. Made from soft stretch cotton with an elastic waistband that covers well above my naval. Aw Mom, you shouldn’t have…” I cringed at her because this I could not hide. “No really… you shouldn’t have.”

  Mom gasped dramatically. “What are you talking about? Those are nice reliable panties, especially when you get your period. Come on now, there’s no way you can use an overnight pad on a thong. You wanted a thong, didn’t you? Didn’t you!”

  Someone, anyone…. please kill me!

  “No I didn’t!” I screeched back.

  She stood up and came to me, grabbing my shoulder and giving me a good shake. “Listen to me, okay. Thongs are not comfortable. Women wear them for one reason and one reason only. Advertisement. That’s right, I said it. You see a girl wearing a thong, especially a lace one, oh dear lord, it’s for tactical reasons, hooking the bait and throwing the line in the pond, trying to catch as much fish as possible.”

  My jaw dropped in disbelief, and in sheer horror. I wanted to hide somewhere far away and stay there forever.

  Honest.

  Then when I say it got worse…. I mean, it got worse.

  “You don’t want that much fish, it’s pointless. Unless you do, then we’ve got a few more things to discuss, young lady! And since were being completely transparent right now, I want to know, have you?” She did this weird squinty thing with her eyes, like she was trying to peer into my soul for the truth.

  I scowled in confusion. “Stop looking at me like that. What are you talking about? Have I, what?”

  She hissed in frustration and took a seat on my bed again. “I mean, have you? Like… have you worn a thong before? And don’t you lie to me, because I will check your underwear drawer.”

  Alien mothership… if you’re listening right now, I’m ready if you are. Kidnap me now!!!

  My cold, unused phone buzzed, chiming with an incoming text. I grabbed it off my nightstand and cleaned the screen of dust.

  Jenna: We need a girls only night tonight. STAT!

  I wanted to text her back, but my mom suddenly appeared by my side, trying to sneak a peek at my cellphone screen. “What are you doing?” I covered the screen quickly.

  Mom hissed, flinging her arms up in protest. “Don’t you lie to me and tell me it’s not a boy you’re speaking to, Annabelle Simms. You have to be honest with me. I won’t settle for anything less.”

  “I’m not speaking to a boy right now.” I held my phone up, so she could see that it was Jenna who’d texted me. “You see. I’m not lying.”

  Not lying now that is….

  Not lying right now sent my mom over the edge. Her frustration oozed like lava, be it a result of anger, or disappointment. “This is ridiculous! I can feel it in my bones. A mother’s intuition. That… you are hiding something, and that something has got to do with boys, or…. a boy.”

  Why is it so necessary for her to know the details of my private life?

  “Well… you’re wrong. It has nothing to do with a boy.” I charged passed her with my phone in tow, heading straight for guaranteed privacy.

  “What, wait! Where are you going? We’re not done discussing this matter!”

  “Nature calls, sorry Mom.” The door lock snapped shut and instant relief was mine as I sat on the edge of the tub.

  Annabelle: What’s going on?

  Jenna: Everything is fine. I just had a crazy moment.

  Annabelle: Ok…

  Jenna: See you tomorrow biatch.

  Annabelle: K, later crazy.

  Hmmmm…. what’s that all about?

  Later, after dinner, collapsed over top my bed, I held my full belly in both confusion and satisfaction. But despite all that, my food coma did little to su
ppress one truth that plagued my mind. I stared up at my ceiling and saw green eyes stare right back at me, looking just as confused.

  “I barely thought about you today.” I whispered.

  This is so weird.

  Thinking about James right now brought a rush of emotions. Today had been a somewhat happy day, where feelings of warmth, inclusion and camaraderie came easily. Though… today’s happiness had nothing to do with James, and that was really weird for me. But however weird this feeling was right now, I wondered…. did James feel the same way right now, too? Had he barely thought about me today, as well? Did he forget me as easily as I’d forgotten him?

  Oh.

  My.

  God.

  Wow.

  What was going on?

  What was life anymore?

  A head rush was no match for tunnel vision. I flew off my bed over to my desk, ready to battle internet waves and click my way to information. James barely updated his Facebook page, but thanks to popularity and tagging, photo after photo of him popped up on the regular.

  And history was about to repeat itself.

  My heart skipped a beat once the webpage loaded. Front and first was a photo of James, along with a group of people I did not recognize in a gym-like area. My stomach squeezed in nervousness as I took in the three, very pretty, very athletic looking girls seated close by him. Then as I counted four more boys, equal in stature as James, this “super group” of teenagers exuding athleticism brought my anxiety back with a vengeance.

  Just.

  Freaking.

  Breathe.

  Chapter 23

  ANNABELLE

  Monday November 26, 2012

  Truth.

  Anxiety hides like a ruthless monster. It’s sadistic like that; ready to jump out when you least expected it to. In my case, that’s exactly what happened. But all was not as it seemed. Old me would be tearing up, living in headache city with the added bonus of queasy nerves flying up a storm in my belly. But I wasn’t old me anymore… I least I hoped I wasn’t. This me, the new me, late November me, well… I guess I felt more irritated by recent events than anything else.

  Waking up now….

  My eyes opened slowly to a dimly lit room. Thank you easy going sunshine. The A/C was on, and the temperature flowing through my room was chill. Not too cool, and not too warm. I approve! My blanket covered my body till my chin and I could honestly say it’s been awhile since I’ve felt this cozy. This morning so far, ten seconds in, has brought levels of comfort I could get used to for life.

  But… I couldn’t help but feel a bit weird. I felt even more weird looking over at my nightstand and seeing my cold, unused cellphone in the same place I last left it last night.

  Early last night, to be exact.

  But… I had no intentions of being overly analytical about the WHOLE weekend thing this early in the morning. Whatever happened, happened. I’d take the knock backs as they came. Besides, I had more important things on my mind right now. Like… how was I going to be a hero today?

  I had an idea.

  “Mom?” I called from the bathroom in the middle of adjusting my high ponytail. My outfit was a uniform, but more elevated in my opinion. A semi tight grey cotton shirt with a huge purple sun in the middle, and then I added some denim shorts that were kind of short, kind of cool, kind of tattered at the bottom… but they were chill. A relaxed look, even though I was going to school and not the beach. I completed the look with light mascara and some strawberry scented lip balm.

  And I was okay with that.

  Simple and chill.

  AKA… my version of normal.

  Normal 2.0

  “Yeah, sweetheart?” Mom yawned, one eye still half open with her hair looking a wild mess. She chuckled. “You’re up early.”

  I am…. but, oh yeah… my mission.

  Operation: Get Charles his cellphone back.

  Commenced.

  “Yeah,” I smiled, stepping into the hallway.

  “What’s up?”

  I looked at Charles’s bedroom door briefly before returning my attention to Mom. “I need a favor,”

  For some reason, respect from my siblings these days was worth its weight in gold. And I craved it with a fiery passion.

  “I want you to give Charles his phone back.” I declared.

  Mom narrowed her eyes in confusion. “But… why? He’s grounded for a week, anyway.”

  You can do this. Calm, cool and totally chill. She won’t know what hit her. Adult Annabelle’s in the house!

  “I know,” I said. “But yesterday things went a bit overboard. This weekend hasn’t been easy for him. He’s going through a lot emotionally.”

  Mom got all bug eyed. “What do you mean… he’s going through a lot emotionally?”

  I tried dialing back my cringe. “I’m not at liberty to say, but…. yeah, he’s been betrayed.”

  “Betrayed?” Mom hissed. “By who? Tell me now.”

  Jesus… she looks like she’s gonna blow. I better put a lid on this before she wakes everyone up, demanding answers. Charles won’t ever trust me again!

  I waved in front of her so she’d calm down. “Someone he thought he could trust. But that’s middle school drama for you. One week things are cool, the next… it’s all messed up. You understand…. right?”

  Mom went from insane to offended. “Do I understand? Of course, I do. I was thirteen once too, you know.”

  “Okay,” I said slowly. “So, then can I have his phone? I want to be the one to give it back to him.”

  Insane.

  Offended.

  Now we were at…. Joyous?

  “Awe,” Mom cooed like I was a baby doing something cute. “You want to be there for your little brother. I love it.”

  “Yeah, that’s it.” I “confessed”, though it was kind of true.

  “Alright, alright. He can have his phone back, and you can be the one to hand it to him. But have a talk with him and make sure he understands where he went wrong. This household does not tolerate curse words, no matter how upset he, or anyone else may be.” Mom concluded her demands and went to her room, returning quickly to the hallway with Charles’s phone. I took it from her and she scurried back inside her room, like she didn’t want to interrupt the “special” moment about to happen. Or… she could be peeking on the low behind her door.

  Knowing my mom… option two it was.

  The door creaked. Oh yeah, she’s totally peeking behind the door.

  Three steps toward my brother’s bedroom, nerves hit me like a wrecking ball. What would I say? How would I act? Would I go straight up to his door, knock four times and announce my act of heroism? Was getting his phone back even an act of heroism? Was I being self-delusional again? Enough of the overthinking, Annabelle Simms! Just be calm and cool and get it over with! I quickly shook my concerns to the side and knocked on his bedroom door.

  “What is it?” Charles groaned groggily. “I’m sleeping. It’s still early. Leave me alone.”

  “It’s Annabelle. I have something for you.” I whispered close to his door, careful not to make a show of this, even though my mom was probably still watching from behind her door. She probably wished my dad had fallen asleep upstairs in their bedroom, so she could hiss him awake and join her in spectating a “magical” moment. But… it would only be her today spectating. My dad had fallen asleep again in the basement. What the hell is going on between them…

  Charles cleared his throat. “Ugh, come in.”

  I opened his door and found him cuddled underneath his navy-blue comforter, staring at me peculiarly. Instead of launching into a long explanation of my reasoning in rescuing his phone, I decided to go for the silent approach. I held the phone up and it took him a second to realize what I’d done. I got gifted a sweet smile as he sat up happily. I handed the phone over and he took it from my grip hesitantly.

  “Thank you.” Charles said. He had that bewildered look down pat, but I understood the expre
ssion. I did something above my pay-grade, beyond the limits of our newly resurrected relationship. I mean a few days ago, we were at each other’s throats, and now…. well, we weren’t. We were being friendly, acting like caring siblings for once in years. It was weird. Things were so surreal right now, I almost asked him if I had the job for real now?

  “What job?” Charles asked, confused.

  Oh shit! I just thought aloud!

  “Never mind.” I tried laughing it off. “Anyways, see you later.”

  Charles nodded. “Um, have a good day.”

  “You too,” I said back, feeling odd, but in a funny way.

  “This is so weird.” Charles smirked, shaking his head. “We hated each other a few days ago.”

  I shrugged. “Welcome to life, it’s a rollercoaster of emotion.” I left his room, leaving him to his thoughts.

  I had plenty of time before I needed to be at school. But as I exited my house and stood by the curb, staring at the sun, I felt overwhelmed with emotion. My soul hollered, urging me to make solo moves crucial to my happiness… whatever they may be. Though, this time of day, I could only think of one thing to do....

  Monday morning breakfast.

  Ten minutes and one bus ride later…. I arrived at Ned’s.

  “Table for one?” A waitress named Claire asked me.

  I nodded and adjusted my backpack. “Yeah…. for one.”

  She grabbed a large breakfast menu and led the way to a booth in the far corner of the diner.

  “Is this your first time here?” Claire asked, pouring me a cup of coffee.

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “Well, you’re in luck. Monday morning breakfast includes free coffee, or hot chocolate, with a side of hash browns.”

  I smiled at her. “That’s good to know.”

  “What’ll it be?”

  I scanned the menu quickly, ignoring my reservations with extreme prejudice. “I’ll have… the Belgian waffle fruit bonanza special please.”