Cold Comfort

by Isobel Hart

  “I’ll make sure she eats,” he agreed readily. He was in a good mood after the blowjob I’d just given him.

  “You fucked her out your system yet?” Henry asked in his usual crass way. Cat was up and his fist was moving before I could get a restraining hand on him.

  “Fuck, man,” Henry said, irritated, holding his jaw. “You’ve fucking lost it.”

  “And you need to mind your manners,” Cat said unrepentantly as he shook out his hand.

  I walked to the freezer, grabbed a bag of peas and wrapped them in a clean dishcloth. “Here,” I said, handing them to Henry.

  “Hey, what about me?” Cat asked petulantly.

  “Yours was self-inflicted. You shouldn’t hit people.” The others sniggered.

  “So, are we going to practice for the Radio 1 thing or not?” Matt asked, ever the peacemaker.

  “Sure,” Cat said. “Shall we do the cover? Then we can get Delilah down and work the arrangement for the ballad. We can do any of the old stuff. Whatever you fancy, really.”

  “That’s big of you,” Henry said, still clutching the peas to his jaw.

  “What cover are you doing?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise,” Cat said before anyone else had a chance to answer. I saw a few of the guys’ eyebrows rise and worried what it meant. “So anyway, you and Eddy make some food, since he’s so worried about you losing weight, and I’ll go practice with the guys. We’ll come and get you when we’re ready for you.”

  With that they all left and headed for the basement. Cat pressed a quick kiss to my lips and followed them out. “So…” Eddy said. “You and Cat are really happening? Like a full-on thing?”

  “Yeah, it seems that way. He’s a hard man to say no to.”

  “He is that, but if you wanted to… if you needed space from him, you know I’d always help you.”

  “I know, but I don’t want that. I really like him, Eddy. He’s kind and thoughtful. He’s good for me.”

  “Is he?” Eddy didn’t sound sure. “He’s well into you, that’s for sure. He just seems a bit possessive, and he can be unstable. You don’t know him like I do. How’s that going to work when we go back to uni?”

  “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it yet.”

  “Well, you need to. We only have another month before we need to get back. Which reminds me, we have a composition to do.”

  “I’ve done it,” I said sheepishly.

  “You cow! When did you do that?”

  “I’ve had a song rattling round my head for a while, and the Steinway was the last bit of inspirational nourishment I needed.”

  “Will you play it for me?”

  “Let me have a sandwich first, and then we’ll go to the music room.”

  “Oh my god, I’m as bad as Cat, trying to make you play for me before I feed you.” He proceeded to make me a huge sandwich and sat watching while I ate it all. Then we hurried to the music room.

  I felt nervous as I started the opening refrain. I’d played the song for Cat, but no one had heard the lyrics yet. I hoped I could remember them. It turned out they were burned in my brain and flowed from me as easily as The Lord’s Prayer had every Monday morning at the school assembly.

  I’m sorry, it’s too hard for me to stay

  Heard you went with that other girl, so there’s nothing left for us to say

  When I finished the final lyrics, and the last note slowly faded out, I released my breath. It was cathartic. I now knew who I’d been singing about. I turned to look at Eddy to see tears flowing freely down his cheeks. “Oh my god, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

  He laughed, and it broke the spell. “Delilah that was…. I swear, it’s as good as anything I’ve heard… anywhere. You have to record it.”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” I demurred.

  “Your voice, hearing it like that… just you… I mean, it sounds great on the duet with Cat, but on its own you can really hear the depth of the tones. You sing with such honesty… it’s beautiful.”

  “Oh, Eddy, what would I do without you?” I stood and hugged him. It felt good to be with him again. I looked forward to being back in Brighton with him.

  “So since you’re such a talented songwriter, you have to help me compose a piano and violin duet. I’m assuming you can share with me a little of your musical genius.”

  “Silly,” I said, slapping him. He ran to collect his violin, and then we spent a happy hour – it could have been more, as we were completely wrapped up in the music – before Cat came to find us.

  “Hey,” he called softly, when we reached a break in the music. Eddy and I both turned. “Having fun?”

  “Amazing fun,” I said, smiling at Eddy. “I’m in love with your piano, by the way.”

  “Just part of the honey trap I created to entice you in, babe,” he said, smiling. “I just didn’t know it was you I was making it for at the time. You okay to come and practice the duet? The guys have the music down, so we just need to run through our bits.”

  “Sure,” I said brightly. “Let’s go.”

  *

  The run-through had gone well, as we had seamlessly blended our voices with the band, creating a beautiful song that never failed to bring tears to my eyes. I could see why everyone was getting excited about it. Wayne had made us record a version because the label had insisted it be made available for download immediately after the performance. I’d been asked to sign a number of contracts that meant I’d get a small part of any success the record had. Cat had made his lawyer look over the terms and assured me it was all fair. I’d told him I didn’t expect anything for my part, and I was just doing it because he’d asked me. He’d smiled indulgently, kissed me on the head, and told me one day I’d thank him.

  But from the moment the car collected us from Matt’s house in London where we’d travelled late the night before, I couldn’t shake the feeling of nausea that had settled in my stomach. The guys had let Eddy travel with me in the hopes that his presence might calm me down, but even he couldn’t help me shake off these nerves.

  We were crawling through the London rush hour traffic and, while the historic buildings would normally have excited me, I couldn’t think about anything except what we were about to do, and what would happen if I froze. I closed my eyes to avoid Cat feeling the need to make more placatory comments about how I’d be fine, and pretended to be asleep.

  “Want some of this?” I heard Henry offer Cat. I opened my eyes to see him holding out some white powder on a tiny spoon. Cocaine, I guessed. Quickly I closed my eyes again.

  “Nah, I’m good, thanks,” he replied, and I released the breath I’d been holding.

  “What will you do if she freezes completely?” I heard Matt ask him.

  “She won’t.”

  “You sure about that? Has she ever done anything remotely like this? I don’t imagine she has. This is a big deal for us, let alone a girl that’s only ever sung for her friends.”

  “She’s a natural,” Cat said with complete certainty. I felt a warm glow in my stomach at his belief in me. He’d never wavered, not once. I hoped I could live up to his expectations.

  I must have actually dozed off because the next thing I knew Cat was shaking me awake. “You drooled all over my jacket,” he said, smiling fondly at me and grabbing my hand to lead me out the car.

  “Hey, hold up there,” Matt said before he could open the door. “There are loads of girls waiting outside,” he said, pointing at the groupies who were already screaming from behind a cordon as they waited to see their favourite band.

  “Yeah, so?” Cat said, looking irritated.

  “You planning on subjecting Delilah to their abuse right before her first performance? You know they’re not going to be pleased their favourite rock star has a girl in his life. No need to rub it in their faces straight away. Let her follow us in with Eddy. We can sign a few autographs, and she can slip into the foyer behind us – you can meet her in there.”

 
“I want her with me,” Cat said petulantly.

  “Yeah, well, I’m thinking about her, not you, mate.”

  “He’s right, Cat,” Eddy chipped in. “I’ll keep her safe.” Cat looked at them and then me. I could feel my eyes were wide with fear. I didn’t want anyone shouting at me right now.

  “Yeah, alright,” Cat agreed finally. “Wait for me in the reception, babe,” he said, kissing me quickly on the lips and then clambering out the car with Henry and Matt on his heels. The roar from the crowd was immediate. I watched from the window as he sauntered towards the women, who looked ecstatic to see him in the flesh. He started signing things, at which point Eddy opened the door again and we climbed out. Automatically I put my arm out for him and he took hold, then we walked up towards the entrance, avoiding the screaming fans altogether. No one even looked up at the girl in the black mini-dress and denim jacket or the guy in glasses and black skinny jeans as we scurried towards the rotating door.

  I breathed a huge sigh of relief as we walked up to the entrance, only to become tense again as a security guard stepped in front of us.

  “We’re with the band,” Eddy said in his boldest voice. I would have laughed if I’d had any saliva left in my mouth to make any sound at all.

  “Sorry, but that’s what they all say,” the guard said with a grimace. “Names?” We offered our names and he seemed surprised when he actually found them on the list he held, moving out of the way to allow us entrance into the foyer. I mentally thanked Wayne for his organisational skills as we walked inside. Cat arrived about five minutes later, clutching a pair of knickers. He immediately scanned the area, relaxing only when he saw me.

  “Yours?” I asked, nodding down at the knickers in his hand.

  “What? Oh, no,” he said with a grin, looking down at them. “Here,” he said to Wayne, who was lurking behind him, as he handed the lingerie over. “Let’s get going.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the lifts. Wayne handed us all passes as we waited for the lift to arrive, while I tried to quell the growing wave of panic that threatened to engulf me. Everywhere we went people pointed at us – well, at Cat. He seemed oblivious to the attention, but I found it overwhelming.

  “We’ll get set up, and then there will be an interview with the DJ. We’ll do that, then the old song, have another chat and then we’ll do ours. After that it’s the cover so you get to sit back and admire me again,” he said with a grin as he kissed me. I heard the gasps around us as people watched him be affectionate towards me. Suddenly people weren’t only looking at him, they were looking at me too. Wondering who I was, no doubt. I wanted to assure them it was okay, I was no one.

  Eddy and I were put into a room they called the Green Room to wait while the guys set up and were offered drinks. I gratefully grabbed a big bottle of water and sat sipping it as the people around me chatted easily with one another. No one bothered me. I suspected they had me down as a hanger-on, just part of the entourage. I was okay with that. Then it was time to move into the studio where we’d perform, and my anxiety ramped up to a whole new level.

  The boys performed ‘Sicken Me’, a popular song off their first album – Terrible Racket. I’d watched as Cat had chatted easily with the interviewer. He was charming and articulate, and I could see again why so many women loved him. “You okay?” Eddy asked me, clasping my hand as the DJ segued to another track while we prepared for the next song. I couldn’t even form any words. I could feel the band looking at me nervously as Cat manoeuvred me into position in front of the microphone. I hadn’t warmed up vocally at all. I’d barely made a peep since we’d arrived. I had no idea if I would make a single note when the song started.

  “So,” I heard the DJ say as the record finished. “We’re getting loads of love for you guys via text and email. They’re loving ‘Sicken Me’. Selma in Bury says ‘love these guys, sounding good today’, and Arthur says he saw you in Manchester and you’re awesome live. I can vouch for that. But now you’re going to sing something new for us, is that right?” she asked Cat.

  “Yeah, it’s a bit slower than our normal tracks, and I’ve invited a friend of mine, Delilah, to help us out. It’s called ‘Eternity’. I hope you like it.”

  I heard the opening bars of the song start, and I nearly ran. I wanted to, but Cat tapped my leg and mouthed ‘look at me’, so I did. I stared into his big blue eyes and felt peace for the first time that day. And then he started to sing. His voice was so beautiful, and as he sang to me I was mesmerised all over again. When the part came for my harmony I couldn’t have stopped myself from joining in if I’d wanted to. Everything vanished around us and I saw no one else in the room, only him. We sang as if every word had meaning for us – which they did.

  As the final bars faded away the room broke into cheers, and I blushed as Cat beamed at me with pride. “Oh my god, the texts just blew up,” the DJ gushed. “There’s an amazing reaction to that song. People want to know when they can get hold of it.”

  “You can download it today,” Cat informed her, ever the professional, as I sat there dumbstruck once more. I had done it, I had sung live with him on the radio. And people had liked it. As the DJ played another song and the guys got ready to do their cover, I moved back to my seat beside Eddy. But this time people kept coming up to me, telling me how much they’d enjoyed the performance and what an amazing voice I had. I smiled and thanked them, feeling awkward given all the attention. It was only when the record finished that I got a break from all the people.

  Then the boys started singing their cover, and suddenly I was the focus of scrutiny all over again, but for different reasons. I should have guessed when Cat said the cover was a surprise that he was up to mischief. As the opening bars started I realised what he had done. It was ‘Hey There Delilah’ by the Plain White T’s. As he sang ‘Oh, it’s what you do to me’, he looked directly at me. “I guess the cat’s out the bag now, then, quite literally,” Eddy said, laughing quietly as people looked over at me. Cat had managed to do the musical equivalent of peeing on my leg, so now everyone knew we were a thing. The fact that the notorious womaniser from Cold Comfort was lavishing attention on a single woman – well, that was not going to pass by unnoticed. I felt a shiver of fear as I worried what the consequences of him outing us would be.

  Chapter 20

  The time immediately after the radio show was a complete whirlwind. When we emerged from the building the crowd had quadrupled in size. This time Cat insisted on holding my hand as we walked back to the waiting car. I kept my head down after a couple of the girls threw hateful looks in my direction, Cat on the other hand smiled and waved like the visiting rock royalty he was. “I love you, Cat, fuck me,” I heard several women scream, ignoring my presence by his side entirely. The paparazzi were also now out in force, taking pictures of the both of us. “How long have you been with Delilah, Cat?” they asked. It sounded so odd to hear them talking about me, and using my name, as if they knew me. “What attracted you to her first, Cat? That sweet body or her crazy good voice?” another questioned. Cat’s hand tightened on mine at that.

  We ignored everyone, saying nothing, just ploughing forward with the help of a couple of the band’s security team, until finally we reached the car. Cat opened the door, and I climbed in with him hot on my heels. “Fuck, that was crazy,” he said, but I could tell from his level of excitement that he loved it all. “You did amazing, baby.” He pulled me against him as the car moved swiftly away.

  “You helped me,” I admitted. “I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but you got me to focus on you, and then it was easy to sing. I didn’t think about anyone else but you.” He kissed me softly. “Why did we leave without the others?”

  “It was getting too crazy. Wayne thought it would be better to get us out of there quickly. He got another car for the rest of them. We’ll meet them at Matt’s.”

  “Are we going back to Cambridgeshire tonight?” I asked hopefully.

  “Not sure,” he answered somewh
at evasively as he fiddled with his phone. “Wow, they loved that performance. It’s already gone viral. We’re trending, babe.”

  “You’re trending. I’m just the backing vocalist.”

  “You’re more than a backing vocalist, love. I think we’ve got a hit on our hands. I’m going to be busy finishing the rest of that album, because the label’s going to want it out as soon as we can get it done. Then we’ll be on our American tour.” The realities of living with a rock star hit home hard.

  “You’ll be on tour. I’ll be at university finishing my degree,” I reminded him. He looked at me as if I had just stepped out of a spaceship.

  “We’ll need you to perform that song on tour with us,” he said. “You’ll be on tour too.”

  “Well, maybe I can come for some of it, particularly if it runs over the holidays. But I need to get my degree. It’s what I’ve been working so hard for. What my Mama used all her savings on.”

  “Well, let’s see how things pan out, shall we?” was all he said before kissing me. It was more than the kisses of gentle reassurance he’d given earlier. This was a kiss that acted as a precursor to more. By the time he took his mouth from mine my mind was on needing him inside me as soon as we could make it happen. His fingers dropped between my legs and slithered under my lacy thong, finding me already wet and wanting. “What do you need, Delilah,” he breathed into my neck.

  “You,” I gasped as he started to play with me.

  When the car pulled up we practically sprinted inside the house, ignoring the press that had beaten us there. We headed straight to the room we had been given the night before and within minutes Cat had ripped off my knickers and opened his jeans to reveal his massive erection. He fumbled in his pocket until he found a condom, rapidly opening the wrapper and rolling it into place before lifting me up again, back against the wall, his hands holding my thighs, and lowering me onto him. My legs wrapped around his waist as soon as he was inside me, my arms holding tight around his neck. Then he started to thrust, gravity creating extra friction as he hit me in all the right places. A picture bounced from the wall and landed on the floor, glass shattering, but we barely paused, too caught up in our drive for satisfaction. Finally it was too much, and I slid into my orgasm with relief, hearing him follow shortly after.