by BA Tortuga
“Yeah.” A fancy-assed lawyer, two ex-cons, a legless dude, and a soldier. Just a bunch of random folks on the river. This was a goddamn sitcom setup.
“Now you’re scowling.” Jayden chuckled. “You do have an expressive face.”
“Do I?” He didn’t look at it beyond shaving in the morning, and that was all pulling faces to scrape the hair off.
“I think so, yeah. I like it.”
He narrowed his eyes against the sun, even with the sunglasses on, and stared. Jayden almost sounded like he was flirting. No way. “Thanks?”
“Jayden, are you stressing Dakota out?” Sage sounded more amused than mean.
“I think I am. I’m not trying, I swear.” Jayden slipped away, tube floating past him.
God. God, please let him just sink into the water and drown. Wait, he didn’t believe in God anymore.
He met Sage’s gaze, mouthed his apologies, and then closed his eyes and just hid, staying near the bank. Well, until Troy bumped him like bumper boats.
“Boo!”
“Eek?”
The guy moved fast for having no legs. He also laughed like there was nothing in the whole world funnier than a man saying eek. It made Dakota smile again, and that made Troy’s lover shoot him a look. He wasn’t coming on to no one. Not no one. Not him.
He was harmless, right?
Jayden hooted, and Dakota looked up to see the man spinning, bouncing off a sandbar a few times, arms in the air. Silly fool. That looked like so much fun. So much.
He drank half of his Sprite. Pondered the sandbar as it came close. Maybe if he slowed down and the others went on. Then no one would see, except the strangers.
Yeah. His heartbeat speeded up a tiny bit. How silly was that, to be so excited over a tiny bit of rebellion?
Silly and dangerous. He wasn’t even sure if this counted as being in a place where alcohol was served. God knew, the beer was flying free…. Maybe he should just stick to the straight and narrow. Maybe he should just slip down through the center of the tube and disappear into the river. He could come out anywhere and just become a ghost. Start walking and end up in California.
“Come on, Dakota!” Jayden waved wildly at him, and he pushed off the damned sandbar, spinning in long, slow circles.
It was the closest he could imagine to being high.
He grinned at the sky, feeling younger every moment.
When he stopped spinning, Jayden was watching him, nodding to him.
“See? This is the life, man.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is cool.” And at the price, a good way to spend an hour. Jayden made him smile. A lot. Weird.
Jayden sent over a lazy wave of water. None of it hit anything but his feet, but a little devil made Dakota splash back.
“Oh, ho. The game, I fear, is on!” The next wave of water made him almost lose his Coke.
Jayden was going down. Dakota kicked and splashed like a newborn fool, and Sage bellared and sent a wave over them. Then the five of them were being utter idiots, pushing and splashing, laughing like loons.
People floated down past them, laughing and waving, occasionally splashing at them, but no one was mean.
By the time they came to rest in the sand where the shuttle bus waited to pick them up, his whole self was sore from laughing. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so good, as if he was really among friends.
Dakota didn’t want to think about that too much. He just wanted to enjoy it.
“Y’all ready to cook out?” Sage asked, drying off with a towel from their bag.
“We’re heading to your place, yeah?” Jayden asked.
“You know it. I’ve got steaks and all the extras.” Sage smiled easily. “You’re gonna hang out, right, Dakota?”
“Yeah, if it’s okay still.”
“You know it.” Sage looked so loose and easy in his skin. Dakota was going to have to figure that out, because he knew Sage hated staying alone, hated that Win left.
He guessed you could still have a good day. Hell, he felt like a baby, pushed out into a world he couldn’t cope with.
Sage managed with a cop boyfriend. He could do this.
“Should we stop and take a shower first?” Troy asked.
“I brought enough towels, and everyone can bathe up to the house.”
“Thanks, buddy.” The Eric guy grinned, looking younger, happier than he had just over an hour ago.
Made sense. The river washed away a lot of shit.
Now he just had to make it through the rest of the day without embarrassing himself. He could do that, right?
He could. He’d survived prison; he could handle a cookout.
Chapter Nine
SOMETHING ABOUT Dakota just fascinated Jayden. He had no idea what it was, but he wasn’t one to deny his urges, so Jayden found himself staying close most of the evening, not pushing but sharing space in a way. He liked the guy’s smile, the one that popped up when Dakota thought no one was looking.
Something in that grin defied the outward appearance that Dakota was thoroughly broken, utterly defeated by life. That little hint was what drew him, maybe? That spark?
He watched Sage poke Dakota, offering another Sprite.
“Nah, I’m good with water.” Dakota grinned again. “I’ll prob’ly switch to coffee once the sun goes down.”
“Like that matters. It’s just pure hot now, no relief.”
“I don’t mind it.”
“I do like it better than cold,” Sage said. “Cold makes my knees hurt.”
Jayden winced. The last thing he wanted to do was bring up anything that made either Sage or Dakota think about prison.
“Cold makes my everything hurt,” Eric said, grinning huge.
Jayden liked both Troy and Eric. They were stand-up guys.
“You’re just a titty baby, you know.” Sage gave Eric a teasing look, one that proved these men were close, because Eric could beat Sage into a grease spot.
“Yep. I bitch and whine all the damned time.”
“Constantly. It’s like a glorious Cajun song.” Troy reached over and pinched one of Eric’s nipples, the ripped belly just… well, rippling. Jesus, that man was sex on a stick and he knew it.
Jayden admired from afar, because those two were like white on rice, all over each other with no room for anything else.
Sage spent his time being busy—working the grill, bringing drinks—and Dakota had tried to help but just got shooed away. Jayden hated that he was sitting by himself, so he got up and moved even closer.
Dakota offered him a half smile, a nervous little grin.
“Hey. Am I bothering you?” Jayden wanted to establish that he wasn’t going to bully his way into anyone’s company.
“No. No, I just….” Dakota took a deep breath and then let it go. “I haven’t figured out small talk yet.”
God, twelve years and Dakota hadn’t made a single friend. No one wanted to make friends in prison, he guessed, but…. No one from his old life ever talked to him? That sucked so hard.
“No pressure. I don’t mind low key.” Jayden liked to sit at the fire pit and chat.
“Good.” Dakota chuckled softly, then sipped his water. “Are you from around here?”
“Dallas area, actually.” He loved Austin, even as much as it was growing. Easier to be who he was. “Which you sort of know, huh?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I just—this is hard. Small talk.”
“So we’ll fake it. I’m great at it. You ever been there?”
“I went to Six Flags when I was ten.”
“Yeah? What was the best part?”
“The water ride. The big round one. I rode it three times.”
“I have to admit I was always cruising when I went.” Jayden winked when he blinked a little.
“I missed that part of stuff, I think.”
“I guess. I mean, I was awful. I was so horny all the damned time.”
“I can only imagine.”
Sage looked over at Dakota, of
fered the guy an encouraging smile, and Dakota relaxed. They were just two dudes bullshitting. Nothing bigger than that.
“This is really weird. This whole thing.”
“What whole thing?” Jayden watched him intently, wanting to make sure he understood what Dakota meant.
“Being a normal person.”
“You’re doing great.” Jayden chuckled. “I mean, everything has to be off-balance. I can see it, even if I can’t understand it.”
“Yeah. I’m working so that no one can tell. Sage says it takes time.”
“It does. Hell, when I quit working with the DA and went to working forty-hour weeks, I felt as if the world was a whole new place.” Jayden shrugged, feeling lame for saying that, but it was true. Everything was about adjustment.
“Do they work more?”
“I was working seventy to seventy-five hours a week back in my heyday. I started burning out, showing symptoms of ulcers, that kind of thing.” The work had been great, but his personal life still hadn’t recovered.
“Ah. That sounds insane. Jim doesn’t have that much work for me.”
“Trust me, you ever become a manager and he will.” Jayden watched the way the dying sun played on Dakota’s dark brown hair. He liked that it was curling a little as it grew out.
“Right now I’m just trying to be where I’m not the one cleaning up the shit from the ground. I’m unskilled labor, not management.”
“Management sucks, man.” That was Troy, who was so golden it hurt. “It’s nothing but constant bullshit.”
Eric snorted. “Yeah. Like being a commanding officer. Shit rolls uphill in the military.”
“In prison it rolls down, sort of like when you own your own business, I guess, or Adam would have been at the river with us today,” Sage said.
Man, Win was going to be sleeping on the sofa when he got home.
Sage’s dog nuzzled his fingers, looking for sausages, and Jayden jumped. “Cold!”
Dakota fought his laugh hard—Jayden could tell by the screwed-up lips. Oh come on, man. Let it out. Let yourself laugh. He grabbed a bit of meat off his plate and tossed it, Penny leaping for it like a Frisbee dog.
There it was. Dakota’s laugh sounded just like someone swinging a rusty gate open deep in his chest.
Jayden liked it.
He grinned along, and Sage brought him another beer. “Man, I’ll have to crash here if you keep plying me with beer,” Jayden said.
“We got room. I like company.”
“You don’t mind?” He said it to both Sage and Dakota, because he didn’t want to crash anyone’s party. “I’m a champion couch sleeper.”
“Drink your beer, man.” Sage grinned at him, and Dakota nodded.
“You can have the bed. I don’t mind the sofa at all. I like having the TV on.”
“Whatever works.” Jayden popped the top on the cold one and loved how it slid down his throat, the tangy bitter flavor familiar and comforting. When he lowered the can, he caught sight of Dakota’s dark eyes on him. “I’d offer you one, but….”
“I’ve never had a beer. They don’t smell good, though, so don’t stress it.”
“No? I guess it is an acquired taste. Most of us acquire it right about the time you—” He cut himself off, grimacing. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m an ex-con. It’s a thing. Most guys come out hooked on stuff, but booze isn’t one of the easy ones to get.”
“You managed to avoid that, huh?” That said a lot about Dakota, and everything Jayden learned made him want to get to the bottom of how this guy had gotten convicted.
“I did. I didn’t want to do anything to make it worse, and, really, I got no one to send me money or stuff.”
Sage nodded easily, but those eyes were dark with memories. “Takes away some of the choice, huh? My folks were real good about writing, but they didn’t have a pot to pee in, so I was broke too.”
Eric tilted his head. “Prison sounds a hell of a lot like basic training. It just goes on longer.”
Sage and Dakota shared a long glance, and then Sage laughed, and Dakota ducked his chin. “You know it. Pay’s not as good, though.”
“No.” Eric’s cheeks colored. “No. I guess not.”
Troy snorted. “Eric has abandonment issues. Who wants marshmallows?”
Eric grabbed Troy and gave Mr. Sensitivity a noogie while Sage just howled, throwing one of the marshmallows in question hard enough that it bounced off Troy’s head.
Even Dakota grinned, that rusty chuckle sounding again. Hooray for Troy, who seemed to be the kind of guy who could fart on demand if that was what was needed to break the tension.
Sage’s dog wandered over to Dakota, head pushing up under one dangling hand, and Dakota began to love all up on her. Jayden watched, indulging in a little fantasy about those hands. Which was so wrong. Bad Jayden.
This was totally not a man who was up for seduction. This guy was damaged, for fuck’s sake. Still, there was something that just gave Jayden a happy. Something totally unreasonable.
Jayden was a little tipsy, but he knew that wasn’t what made Dakota so appealing. It was the little glimpses of humor, of someone real and smart and ready to live again under the quiet.
They fascinated him, almost as much as the little curious glances Dakota kept stealing. Those made his body tight, made him feel just a little pervy. Jayden prided himself on being self-aware, so he knew he wasn’t turned on by the idea of Dakota being mostly inexperienced or anything gross like that. God knew, he’d made himself crazy pondering what was going on, and he was certain it was just the unconscious need in Dakota’s face when he thought Jayden wasn’t looking.
Shit, he knew he couldn’t touch, for God’s sake, but he could be the man’s friend, right? That wasn’t creepy.
Neither was flirting just enough to keep Dakota smiling. If nothing else, it had to feel good to know that someone liked looking. He hoped.
“Another one, man?” Troy asked, waving at his almost empty longneck.
Surprised, Jayden shook his head. “Nah. Tipsy is cool, but sloppy drunk isn’t my style.” He winked to show he was just kidding around.
“Good deal. I like that in a man.” Troy stretched, the little too-short legs waving in the air a second.
“So what’s with the bitty legs?” He might as well ask rather than sit and stare.
“They’re more stable, faster. I’ve been on them since I was a teenager.”
“Cool. I’ve just never seen ones like them.”
“Most guys don’t like to seem legless and short.”
Jayden laughed out loud, surprised and charmed. “I guess not. I admit, all I know about prosthetics I learned from late-night marathons of the old Highlander TV show.”
“Oh, man. I remember that show. So cheesy.” Troy hooted and clapped, and Eric just stared. “Seriously? Seriously, man? Why are we together, again? You missed all the good TV.”
“I loved that stupid show. That and X-Files and The Simpsons were my favorites.”
They all stopped and looked at Dakota, the soft words freely offered over.
“Oh, Treehouse of Horror.” Jayden clapped his hands. “We should watch!”
“Yeah. Yeah, those were so cool. Bart as the raven.”
“We can stream them,” Sage said. “Soon as everyone is done with s’mores.”
“Marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers—” Eric grinned like a goofy Cajun monkey. “What’s not to love?”
“Nothing.” Jayden stared at Sage. “When can we eat, man? It smells like heaven.”
“Go get the paper plates and shit, and I’ll feed you. Dakota, can you help?”
“Yessir.” Dakota levered himself up out of his chair.
Jayden hoisted up too. “What do you need me to do?”
“There’s a setup. Sage showed me. It’s a thing.”
“Then I’ll help out.” A thing. That sounded ominous. Jayden was used to high-dollar queers, though. This was more down-h
ome.
“’Kay.” Dakota led him into the perfectly clean kitchen and grabbed a packet of paper plates and this Tupperware kit with plastic ware and napkins and salt and pepper. “If you want to grab these?”
“You got it.” Look at how handy that was. Neat and fussy, all at the same time. Jayden chuckled. “It’s worse than my mom’s stuff.”
“He likes things just so.” Dakota grabbed a pitcher of tea and some Solo cups. “You get that way. Inside, I mean. You want things contained, want to be able to move all your stuff in minutes if they switch your cell.”
“Did that happen to you?”
“Sure. I moved wherever. They liked to move me because I didn’t fight.”
“That sounds like hell, man.” He grabbed the caddy of ketchup and mustard and all with his free hand.
“That’s why it’s jail, I guess.”
“I guess so.” Jayden impulsively stepped into Dakota’s path, staring into the man’s eyes. “You didn’t do it, did you?”
“No.” Just as immediate and simple as that. “I didn’t do it.”
“I believe you.” He did, with everything in him. “I want to get the rape kit tested.”
“Can you do that? Will they let you?”
“They should. It’s usually a matter of money. I can always fund half a dozen kits as a donation. That makes a difference.”
“How much?” The words were soft, weighted somehow.
“It costs between a thousand to fifteen hundred dollars to test a rape kit. That’s why there’s such a backlog. There are grants and such, but I don’t want to have to wait that long.”
“Oh.” Dakota deflated a little bit, but then he nodded once, like he’d made a decision. “Then I’ll be able to do it in a couple of years. I make three hundred a week, and my rent’s six, so…. Yeah. A couple of years.”
“Dakota, you don’t have to pay for it.” Jayden held up a hand. “Hear me out. I know you don’t want charity. That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it?”
Jayden chuckled, mainly at himself. “Call it paying back a karmic debt.”
“Sage is waiting for us.” Dakota looked like he was fixin’ to cry. “I’m not…. This is just…. Sage is waiting. Come on.”
