Tan Skulks (A Wielders Novel Book 1)
Page 22
“Come quietly and Hardened will give you a fair trial!” Skulks called. A roaring flame jumped from Lunder’s hand, heading up the stairs in demonstration of his unwillingness to parley. Skulks ducked back as the flames scoured a nearby wall and burned a large hole in the gold-leaf anaglypta which cost two-hundred High Domes Trillings a roll. And that was seventy years ago.
“They don’t have the death penalty and won’t cut your balls off!” said Skulks, trying again. Spout had asked that he at least try and reason with Lunder if the opportunity arose. As it happens, Lunder was now distinctly worried about his future in the Kingdom of Meugh, but that didn’t mean he intended to give himself up. He was starting to feel that it would be nice to lay low somewhere distant until someone deposed Petulant Meugh, which might not take long given his cruelty and unpopularity. Lunder had heard that Flampan in Treads was nice at this time of year, being not too hot and with not too many insects. It would give him plenty of time to work on the insect repelling spell with which he intended winning the ‘Most Practical Application of Wizardry’ category at the Wizards’ Convention in a year or two’s time.
“Bugger off!” he yelled, in final dismissal.
While the two protagonists had been exchanging these pleasantries, there had been an increasingly vigorous pounding and scrabbling at the inside of the bedroom door, in which Ryanda Tremble and the summoned horde had found themselves bamboozled. However, No. 6 H’Goj Promenade had been built to the highest specification and the interior doors were all five inches thick, ensuring that Skulks was provided with sufficient time in which to complete his mission. With Lunder in his vicinity, Skulks had quietly unravelled one or two of the wizard’s protective wards, though a complete detachment of them would take too long and would surely be noticed.
So it was that as Tiopan Lunder waggled his arms to begin a second capture of Skulks with an Amazing Maze of Amazement, a dagger-sword spun silently and rapidly through the air, striking the wizard pommel-first on the temple with a clonk. With his spell interrupted by an urgent requirement to fall unconscious, Lunder toppled over and landed in an undignified heap on the shag pile. Making haste down the stairs, Skulks popped him over his shoulder, used his Wielding to open the front door and set off towards the docks and the Whimsical Ballerina, whistling a jaunty tune as he went.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The journey back to Hardened was a pleasant one, though not for Tiopan Lunder, who had Chunky sitting upon his chest for the majority of the journey and one of Bert’s socks stuffed in his mouth to ensure he was unable to pronounce any of the verbal components of his spells. His arms and legs were tightly bound to stop any other funny business. The bargemen knew how to tie a fine knot.
“So is this the feller?” Farance asked. “The one that started all the strikes and got all them people killed?”
Skulks nodded. “There’s always someone out to take advantage,” he said, realising belatedly that he fell into this category also. “Rat Gods want your money; foreign kings want to kill you and take your city. And then there’s people like me who want to take advantage of everyone.”
Chunky looked up from his seat, wriggling to get his buttocks more comfortably settled on Lunder’s midriff. “Seems like you’ve done all right here. Saved the city, caught the wizard. Rescued your hideous old great granny.” He winked at this last bit.
“Yes. I’ve done all right. Good value for money. Good old Tan Skulks. He always gets paid. Maybe I need to come up with something new. The New Tan Skulks.” Pleased with this idea, he tailed off, not knowing where to go with it just yet.
Farance continued. “I think we’ve got some things to sort out when we get back. Me and the lads spoke to a few of the High Domes bargemen and some of them from further upriver as well. Seems like they’re the ones envious of us! The Council wasn’t lying; the other cities’ bargemen get paid less than we do!”
Skulks knew the bargemen weren’t greedy. Just like the woodmen weren’t greedy. They’d simply been hoodwinked into thinking that they were being treated unfairly. No one liked to be treated unfairly and most people could be manipulated if they thought they were standing up for themselves. Certainly no one liked to be murdered, nor to be on the receiving end of the greatest planned mass-murder in Hardened’s long and admittedly not-too-murder-ridden past. Skulks felt a momentary disappointment that he’d let Lunder live. Still, it was the Chamber Council’s problem now.
After five and a half days of travel on the Ten Dams River, they arrived back in Hardened. Lunder was incarcerated in a heavily-warded cage in the Hardened main gaol and Skulks attended a debriefing with Heathen Spout, Glady Fulup and Harman Granulis.
“Well done, Skulks!” rumbled Granulis. “You’ve driven off this tiddler-king Meugh and captured his wizard. Who knows what might have happened if they’d been able to continue their plans unmolested!”
“He’s still got some men in Million Trees Forest. We’ll send a few hundred of Honey’s soldiers there to check them out. I don’t think they’ll be a threat now that we’ve got Lunder,” said Glady Fulup.
Spout spoke. “In a way we should be grateful to Meugh, though not for the murders of course. He’s shown us how unprepared we’ve been. If this had been a more well-funded plot from one of the bigger Rhultian kingdoms, Hardened could easily have been overcome! It’s a good job they’re always fighting amongst themselves. It lets us get on with things while they shove swords into each other, though it’s not much fun for the people living there I suppose.”
“Speaking of murders,” said Fulup, “we’ve started following up on that list of names you found at the Underman house. This ‘Two Headed God of Murderers’ seems to be another stirring up caused by Lunder or one of his cronies. We’ve arrested a couple of the names from the list and they’ve both been the harmless sort. One was a butcher; he’d been told that Juniper would keep his favourite cleaver sharp. The second was an elderly widow who was quite deaf and thought she was worshipping the Two Headed God of Sheep Herders, on account of her late husband being a shepherd.”
Skulks was relieved and reassured. The citizens of Hardened had always been the practical type, far more likely to worship a god who claimed to help them in the fields or with their daily duties. Why would they worship a god that wanted them to kill others? It just wasn’t in their nature.
Granulis moved the conversation on. “I think the good times are over now. We’ll need to spend a lot more on training up some new soldiers. Still, it’ll be good for our citizens to work up a sweat hacking at a practice dummy.”
“What about the bargemen and woodmen?” asked Skulks, feeling he had a vested interest in their wellbeing.
“Don’t you worry about that, Tan,” said Spout. “We’ll have them back to work within a week. Especially now we know who we’re looking for in the Bargemen Together union and now you’ve told us about the foremen in the woodmen camp.”
“So then!” announced Granulis. “Your fee of twenty-three thousand newly-minted Solids, three thousands of which you’ve already funded from your own pocket for the hiring of the Warp and the Weft.” No one bothered to correct the reference to Skulks’ ‘own pocket’, which everyone knew actually meant ‘stolen from other pockets when we asked you not to’. The moment was too good to spoil.
Skulks mumbled something.
“Eh? What’s that man? Speak up!” said Granulis, pointing towards a medium-sized chest containing Skulks’ fee.
There was more mumbling. It was as if Skulks were trying to say something he found extremely perplexing.
“I think ten thousand Solids is a more appropriate fee.” The words popped out of his mouth, leaving the Chamber Council momentarily aghast. “Considering the circumstances of everyone getting killed and so on,” the New Tan Skulks ended lamely. “Maybe the rest could be spent on fixing the Chancery Fountain or something. Or to set up a fund for the families of those who were murdered.”
Spout clapped her hands together in delight.
“Two excellent ideas! Very well, ten thousand Solids it is! Mr Skulks, Hardened offers you its thanks!”
And with that Tan Skulks shook the three proffered hands.
*******
Sign up to my mailing list here to be the first to find out about new releases!
Please visit my website: MAX ANTHONY
Table of Contents
Hardened
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven