Northern Lights

by Michelle Cary

That exact lack of experience kept her from pursuing anything with him. Not that he’d be interested anyway. While he was obviously here for a reason, she very much doubted it was to woo her into bed.

  He climbed the first few steps before stopping to wait while she closed and locked the door. She turned back and noted the scowl on his face. He nodded toward her hand, his gaze locked to her side. “Do you always answer the door with a knife in your hand?”

  She glanced down and caught the entryway light glinting off the blade. Oh, man! The last thing she wanted was to have to explain her situation to him. “Um…I was in the middle of cutting up lettuce. Since I don’t live in a great neighborhood and rarely get visitors after dark, I…” She shook her head. “Never mind.” She’d shared her past with only Willow. Nathan shook her up from the inside out and made her want to trust; he always had, but to do so now, simply because she was scared, didn’t make sense.

  The crease in his brow deepened at her dismissal of the subject, and she hoped he wouldn’t push the topic. He stood in place for several seconds, apparently contemplating her statement, before he turned and began to climb the remainder of the stairs to her apartment. She followed, then crossed in front of him and motioned to the couch. “Have a seat. You want something to drink?”

  He shook his head as he sank down onto the cushion. “No, thank you. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about a job opportunity.”

  Surprised, she paused in front of the refrigerator and turned to face him. That was the last thing she’d expected him to say. Knowing Nathan was the captain of a commercial fishing vessel she couldn’t help but wonder why he’d need her services. “What kind of job opportunity?”

  “I need someone to cook for my crew during king crab season. Willow tells me you’re between jobs right now and she thought you might be interested.”

  Her hand flexed on the knife handle, just a small tremor, but she put the knife on the counter, just in case. She picked up a dishtowel and busied her hands by drying them to cover her nervousness. “You want me to work on your boat?”

  “Well, yeah, if you’re interested.”

  A job offer hadn’t been what she’d expected from Nathan, but she hadn’t planned to walk into work two weeks ago and learn that the new restaurant owner was firing the entire kitchen staff either. She’d been at Ponteros for over a year and because of staff turnover had spent countless hours working overtime and climbing her way up to sous-chef. It was a position where she could not only make a name for herself in the culinary world, but would finally give her a paycheck that would cover more than just rent and utilities. To have it ripped out from under her had been disheartening to say the least.

  Working on a crab boat wouldn’t provide her any of the resume-building prestige she needed to get her foot in the door at the big restaurants, but from what Willow told her, there was good money made on the Bering Sea. And when she boiled everything right down to it, prestige didn’t pay the bills.

  Before she could answer, he began again. “You should know, it’s not an easy job and it could get very dangerous, even deadly.”

  She thought about Wayne and her current situation. It couldn’t possibly be more dangerous than what she was already facing if he found her. Plus, being out of Seattle on a fishing vessel with two of the Lowery men would afford her both protection and freedom, a combination she wouldn’t be able to keep if she said no. Before she had time to rethink her decision and chicken out, she spoke. “I’ll do it.”

  “Really?” His lips tipped into a smile. “Good. I’ll be by around six Saturday morning to pick you up. You’ll be gone for at least a month, maybe up to six weeks, and we’ll only be in port a couple of times to offload. Since those will be your only opportunities to pick up any necessities, make sure you bring enough personal needs stuff to last.”

  She nodded. “What sort of clothing?”

  “Warm. It gets damn cold out there. Sweatshirts and blue jeans and pack some long underwear if you have it. Got any of that light-weight survival gear?”

  She shook her head in the negative, and he shrugged.

  “Boots are preferred, but since you won’t be working the deck, you can wear sneakers if you like. We have a small washer and dryer on the boat, so I’d prefer if you didn’t pack more than around a week’s worth of clothing. We simply don’t have the room.”

  She nearly smiled. He obviously didn’t know who he was talking to. In those first few months after leaving Florida, she’d gotten by with just the clothes she’d stuffed in a single suitcase. Even now, years after, she wasn’t big on clutter. Carrying light was something she excelled at. “Okay. Is there anything else I need to know?”

  “You’ll be the only woman.”

  His words sent a prickle of fear dancing across her skin and she let out a tentative, “I see.” Living on a boat with five men, three of whom she didn’t know changed the rules a little.

  As if he sensed her nervousness, he placed a gentle hand over hers. “Don’t worry. You already know Adam and me. The other three on our boat are hired hands. They’re good people and won’t give you a hard time, but if they do, you let me know.” He squeezed her hand. “Okay?”

  She nodded and swallowed hard, sending the rising bile in her throat back where it belonged. Nathan’s offer gave her the perfect opportunity to hide and make some money at the same time. She couldn’t let her unfounded fear of men to get in her way. To date, no other man but Wayne had ever hurt her, and she had absolutely no reason to think Nathan or Adam would let any of the crew do anything sinister. Besides, she could take care of herself. She’d been doing it for nearly ten years now.

  “We’ll be fishing in tandem with my brother Danny’s boat the Talisman, but you won’t have to worry about him or any of his crew except for when we’re in port. You remember Danny, right?”

  Still too shaken by the idea of being the only woman on the boat, she just nodded. Danny was the next oldest of the four Lowery brothers and didn’t show up to many family events. She’d seen him at a few special holidays over the years, but hadn’t made the same effort to get to know him that she had with Nathan.

  Nathan let go and stood. “Great. I’m happy to have you as part of my crew. I can’t wait to taste some of your great cooking again. I can’t wait to be rid of Adam’s burned-to-a-crisp burgers.”

  Despite her nerves, Brooke finally found the ability to speak and hoped she didn’t sound as though she’d choked on a frog. “I’ll try not to disappoint.”

  His look turned soft and he raised his hand to brush a thumb along her cheek. The contact sent an unfamiliar wave of desire rushing through her and Brook barely resisted the urge to turn into his touch.

  “I doubt you could disappoint me, even if you wanted to,” he said, letting his hand fall away.

  What in the hell had that been about? She wanted to say something, anything, but once again, the power of speech failed her. Instead, she stood still, and watched him walk to the steps. With one foot on the riser, he stopped and smiled. “I’ll see you Saturday.” He disappeared down the staircase. Seconds later, she heard the door open and close and sank down to the sofa cushions.

  Oh my God, what did I just get myself into?

  CHAPTER 2

  Nathan pulled his F-150 to a stop in front of Brooke’s apartment, threw it in park and glanced at his watch. Five-fifty-five. Right on time. He blew out a long breath and fought to control his nerves while his stomach twisted and flopped. For the first time in years, he felt as though he was going to vomit. He blamed his condition on missing breakfast, even if it wasn’t the truth.

  Everything about this situation screamed mistake, yet here he was, parked on the street in front of her storefront apartment. It wasn’t just his own long dormant feelings toward her he needed to address, but the inevitable fact that, aside from Adam, he’d have to win the rest of his crew over to the idea of having a woman aboard.

  Yes, he was the captain and what he said went, but his crew had feelings
and opinions of their own they would want to share. He only hoped Brooke’s cooking would curb any grumbling among the ranks.

  The crew was only a small part of his much bigger problem. No way could having her trapped on a boat for weeks on end bode well for him. He was sure she could handle the job just fine. That wasn’t the problem. Being so close to her for such a long period of time was. He’d been infatuated with her for years, but chose not to pursue something more substantial with her once he realized how skittish she was around men.

  Actually, he’d been surprised she’d wanted to go considering her phobia. Then again, maybe over the years she’d managed to overcome her fear. On that thought, his heart sped up a little. Before he could ponder his mental wanderings any further, the front door opened and Brooke emerged. With a model’s cheekbones and smooth creamy skin atypical for a red-head, she looked a goddess. He noticed that this morning her cheeks were flushed a dusky pink in the early morning light. She turned to lock the door, and Nathan could almost picture her tiny frame through the wool coat she wore. Her curly auburn hair was in a high ponytail, which touched the middle of her black pea coat. Black gloves covered each hand, hiding her slender fingers, while a matching black scarf flapped loosely in the breeze and protected her swan-like neck against the morning chill.

  Despite the piranhas gnawing on his stomach lining, Nathan forced a smile and stepped out of the truck. After all, it wasn’t her fault he was second-guessing his decision simply because he was attracted to her. No matter what happened, he was determined to keep this trip all business and preserve the friendship they shared. He stepped out, rounded the back of the truck and took the large duffle bag from her shoulder. “Hi.”

  She grinned, and Nathan noted how it didn’t quite reach her eyes. In all the years he’d known her, he’d never seen her smile reach her eyes. Often times he’d wondered why she always looked so sad, like the weight of the world rested on her narrow shoulders alone. Now wasn’t the time to revisit that question.

  “Hi. Were you waiting long?”

  “Nope.” He set the bag down in the back of the truck, then opened the passenger door for her. “I just got here.”

  “Good.” She slid into the seat and set the smaller bag on her lap. “I was watching for you, but I had to go to the bathroom. When I came back to the window, I saw you were here.”

  “Not a problem. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He was sure he wasn’t.

  She nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”

  “Good. Let’s get going.”

  Hoping to mask his nervousness Nathan closed her door, then slid into the driver’s seat and set off for the marina. Tension radiated off her frame, adding to his own uneasiness while they drove in silence through the early morning traffic. He reached over and turned up the radio, hoping the distraction would bring back a level of comfort to their situation. When still she didn’t speak, he decided it was time to try a different tactic. No way could they survive the entire trip tiptoeing around each other. It simply wasn’t practical. “Nervous?” he finally asked.

  “A little,” she confessed. “I mean, I’ve been on boats before. When I was little, my father used to take us out on his boat. I’m sure it’s nothing compared to yours, but I do remember it being a lot of fun. Sometimes the water would be so clear my brother Brent and I used to dive off the back and swim with the fish.”

  She knew how to swim. Her ability to swim had been one of about a dozen questions he’d thought to ask after he’d left her apartment that day. Finding out she could without needing to ask made his life that much easier.

  The last thing he wanted was to bombard her with a bunch of questions that would no doubt frighten her. He could almost bet she didn’t have a life insurance policy or a will and, at this point, asking her those questions would only serve to frighten her more. Maybe some inane small talk was in order. “So your dad is a fisherman?”

  She shook her head and her smile slowly dissipated. “No. He just liked having his own boat. I mean we did do some fishing, but it was all for sport. I was ten the last time he took us out on the water.”

  “That’s a long time to go between boating trips. Why so long ago?”

  Her gaze fell to her still gloved hands. “He died.”

  Way to go, Lowery. Nice way to start the season. Nathan wanted to kick himself. Why hadn’t he known that information before now? How was it he’d never questioned her about her family at one of the cookouts? Maybe he had and she’d changed the subject on him. One thing he’d learned about Brooke was she was a master at evading personal questions. Nathan had to wonder if even Willow knew about Brooke’s father.

  That, too, would be a question for another day. Right now, Brooke had provided him with ammunition for more discussion. He only hoped she wouldn’t clam up again. “I’m sorry. How old were you when he passed?”

  “Almost eleven. He’d taken my brother and me to the movies. We were on our way home when we were involved in an auto accident. Dad never wore his seatbelt, but he made us wear ours all the time. That’s probably what saves our lives, but the impact killed him.”

  “That must’ve been horrible for you.”

  She nodded, and he noted how she swallowed hard before she spoke again.

  “It was. It’s gotten easier to deal with as the years have passed, but every once in a while, I’ll have a moment where I really miss him a lot.”

  Nathan struggled for the appropriate words, but nothing came to mind. He’d been lucky his own childhood had been one filled with joy and family. It wasn’t until he was an adult that his own tragedy had taken place. Thankfully, his family had been there to help him pick up the pieces. He couldn’t help but wonder if Brooke’s remaining family had given her the same support at such a tender age.

  She shifted and turned her head to look out the window. By her body language, he was pretty sure she was through talking for the moment. Maybe it would be best if he just changed the subject all together.

  “Adam did a little grocery shopping for the trip up, but we’ll do the bulk of it when we get to Dutch. If there’s something specific you want to make, be sure to let us know. That way we can get everything you’ll need. Or if you’d feel more comfortable, you’re welcome to go with Adam and the rest of us to shop.”

  “Okay.”

  Another silence fell between them as he switched lanes and took the next exit ramp. Did her silence still stem from nervousness or had their conversation about her father shifted her thoughts to something more subdued? Not wanting to think about her being sad, he chose the former hoping a bad case of nerves was causing her to clam up. “It’s okay, you know.”

  “What’s okay?”

  “Being nervous.”

  “Who says I’m nervous?” she retorted, looking indignant that he’d assume such a thing.

  He tried but couldn’t hide his smile at the spirited personality beneath her tough exterior. “You just did a few minutes go. I’m telling you it’s okay to feel that way. You’re about to do something new and scary. It’s pushing you outside your comfort zone and you’re feeling it.” He certainly was.

  A small smile claimed her features and she cast a quick glance at him. “Wow, a crab boat captain and a therapist. Where do you find the time?”

  While he appreciated the sarcasm she flung his direction, he also knew she used it as a defense mechanism, a way of deflecting her true feelings without bluntly telling people to butt out. He’d seen her use it time and again at parties and cookouts. If she thought it would work on him, she was sorely mistaken.

  Choosing to ignore her comment, he continued, “You’d be surprised at what I’ve learned over the years. I’ve seen grown men who’ve boasted how they were the toughest SOB on earth be reduced to a quivering puddle of goo by one Bering Sea storm. Yet, I’ve seen the smallest man, one that barely outweighed the coil of shot he was supposed to haul, work hard and climb the ladder all the way up to captain.” He’d also seen death first hand and had lost m
ore friends to the sea than he could count on two hands, but he didn’t think it best to mention that right now. “You just never know if you’re suited for that kind of work until you try it.”

  She cocked her head to one side and cast a thoughtful look his direction. “Just how old are you?”

  “I turned thirty-eight last month.” He watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her perfect pink lips, pursed together at the same time her sea green eyes flicked upward as if she were thinking. Unfortunately, he knew exactly what she was trying to figure out. “That means I was eleven when you were born and twenty-one when you were ten.”

  “I never realized what a big difference there was in our ages.”

  Unfortunately, he had and was still trying to come to terms with it. It wasn’t as if he was robbing the cradle and right now, he wasn’t doing anything but talking to her. Still, the thought had crossed his mind. If they ever did become involved, would he be able to see past the ten-year-old girl who still suffered a broken heart and find the mature woman within? “It’s not as big a deal now you’re an adult,” he said, more for himself than her.

  She arched a delicate brow. “What isn’t?”

  “Nothing. I’m just saying we’re both adults is all.” Thankful at the opportunity to change the subject, he pulled into the marina lot and parked. “We’re here.”

  She drew in a deep breath and held it. “Yes, I suppose we are.”

  He reached across the seat and patted her hand. “You’ll do fine.”

  “I know, but I’m just a little worried about how the crew will feel. I know Adam’s okay with my being here, but what about the other men? I read somewhere that fishermen tend to be superstitious and having a woman on board is considered bad luck.”

  Nathan opened his door and stepped out. “It’s true that some fishermen are superstitious, and I have my fair share of superstitions, but having a woman on board isn’t one of them.”