Saving Amy

by Daphne Barak

  Suddenly Amy reappears, passing the nursing station, where she stops to talk to them briefly. She sees Erbil and gives him a polite but warm smile, as she speeds towards her waiting mother. Minutes later, Janis leaves the room, her expression blank. Erbil thinks that Janis must have told Amy about the party and asks her what her daughter’s response is. Much to his surprise, Janis says that they haven’t really discussed anything. Erbil asks Janis outright if she’s invited Amy to the party and had a mother-daughter talk. Janis looks so dejected that Erbil leads her back to Amy’s door. This time, he tells Janis to go in and tell Amy exactly why they are here and to show her the dress.

  ‘Just spend some time with your daughter’, he tells Janis. She cannot leave now. Erbil assures her that Amy will be happy to hear about the party and to see her choice of dress. She will want to hear all the details of the evening and share in her mother’s excitement.

  Janis goes back into her daughter’s room and – at last – shows Amy the dress and tells her about the party. They start to have a proper conversation and about 10 minutes later Erbil is invited into the room. Amy is shy but polite. She doesn’t speak much but seems happy to see Erbil, who reiterates my invitation. He tells Amy that I wouldn’t mind a ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ outing either. Amy is obviously surprised and she says, ‘Tell Daphne, let’s have a Kentucky Fried Chicken soon. Tell Daphne to come here.’

  It may seem odd that Erbil mentioned ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ during his first conversation with Amy, but he knew what he was doing when he said it. Erbil was referring to something that Mitch had already told us. When Mitch comes to see her, Amy always says, ‘Daddy. Let’s go have a KFC!’ or ‘Daddy, bring some KFC!’ And this is her way of breaking the ice between them, so Erbil turns this round on her.

  Erbil replies, ‘Daphne would love to have a Kentucky Fried Chicken with you! I promise to introduce you to Daphne!’ Amy gives him a cheerful smile and agrees.

  There is one thing that strikes me quite strongly about Janis’s visit to the hospital. Here is Amy’s mother, visiting her sick, only daughter, something that she isn’t able to do every day – and she hasn’t brought her anything. I am not talking about bringing a gift for a stranger, but a present for her own daughter, something that she knows Amy might be missing – some food that she’s cooked for her or a special cream that Amy uses. Similarly, if Amy is suddenly able to come to the party, what will she wear? Janis hasn’t brought her a dress or heels. Amy has these white heels, so high you would need to be an acrobat to walk in them, and even I know they are her favourite shoes, but Janis hasn’t brought them with her.

  I have absolutely no doubt that Janis loves Amy, but it doesn’t occur to her to do these things for her daughter. Perhaps because Janis is so alone and so grateful for any attention given to her, something she makes clear when we pay her compliments or make her feel special in any way, she fails to see that Amy also craves that same attention and love. Or perhaps she is just scared of being rejected by her daughter.

  Supported by Erbil, Janis leaves the hospital happy. She has achieved her mission and has delivered the invitation to the party to Amy and when she leaves her daughter, Amy is smiling. Janis comes to my hotel nearby, where she goes through hair and make-up in my suite. When she shows up at the party, everybody is buzzing about her appearance. ‘Look how beautiful Janis is!’

  Janis talks to Amy’s assistant, Chivan, and then to a bodyguard. Now, she has the courage to ask them to make sure that Amy ‘really knows she is invited – and welcome’. I leave Janis with my team, and a new confidence.

  Amy’s mother, who looks so much like Amy, clings onto me while an impatient Mitch makes a speech to family and friends about filming Saving Amy. His pretty wife, Jane, is hugging him as he explains about the documentary. He flatters me, telling the audience how I have interviewed Nelson Mandela and Prince Charles and played host to Hillary Clinton in my home. He thanks Erbil, Bitu and also my brother, who helped design a website for Mitch. He says, ‘Our family has been facing this very painful experience …’.

  At that moment I push Janis forward towards Mitch, saying to her ‘It is your daughter’. I say this in a very friendly manner as she is an essential part of this as well, but Mitch doesn’t have the brains to include her. Janis takes the microphone and speaks from the heart just as Mitch does. It is an extremely moving scene – a family pulling together for their child – and everyone is applauding because Mitch, Janis, his ex-wife, and Jane, his second wife, hug each other, united as they pray for Amy’s recovery and for other families to avoid what they are going through. Only Amy is missing.

  Mitch carries on speaking, this time about his wife and ex-wife who stand next to him: ‘Okay these women are just fantastic. They are strong women, Janis and Jane. I love them both. Only Jane just a little bit more…’

  It is an awkward moment and everyone looks uncomfortable. Poor Jane is standing there all lovely and smiling, trying to support her man and be nice to Janis, but while Mitch and Janis talk, she says nothing. She quite often says nothing.

  Then Mitch starts singing Sinatra. He has a good, powerful and full voice. It is very clear where Amy gets her voice and passion for music from. He is entertaining and it’s no surprise that he has a record deal now.

  While Mitch is singing songs including ‘Strangers in the Night’ and ‘New York, New York’ and his family and friends are dancing, Erbil is busy talking to Amy’s people at the hospital. On the one hand, it is clear that Mitch doesn’t really want his daughter to be at the party and embarrass him on his Big Day. On the other hand, and I feel Janis and the others agree with me, it is only fair that Amy is invited, and is not made to feel a lesser being because of her addictions. If she feels up to coming, she should do so. So, while I am hosting Mitch, Janis, Alex and his lovely girlfriend, and family and friends, Erbil and Amy’s people are debating whether she should attend.

  The final decision is that she is not well enough. I think, ‘Let it be. This is what Mitch wants, anyhow …’

  I ask Jane and Melody, Mitch’s sister, to serve him the huge birthday cake that has been prepared. I call out to him, ‘Mitch, make a wish!’

  Before blowing the candle, a tearful Mitch says: ‘Well, everyone here knows what my only one wish is …’ Of course, he is talking about Amy getting better.

  A few minutes later when we are having photos taken and are being entertained by Mitch’s musician friends, I spot him sitting by himself. He is a very lonely figure.

  As I join him, I ask him if everything is OK.

  When he sees me, he tries to perk up, saying, ‘Oh Daphne! Great party. My family and friends love it. I am so grateful.’

  Then he adds quietly, ‘… But I miss my daughter. I wish she could be here.’

  amy, amy, amy

  The morning after the party, Mitch and Jane, who have slept over at my hotel as usual, are having coffee with us. Mitch tells me that the doctors have called him as Amy wants to leave the hospital! Of course, Mitch needs to blame someone and he says, ‘It’s because Erbil and Janis visited Amy’. I had told him about their visit earlier in the evening, when I explained to him that we had invited Amy but she wasn’t well enough to attend the party.

  Mitch says ‘Daphne if she came to the party, it would be embarrassing for me.’ I look at him disapprovingly, so he quickly adds, ‘And – she [wouldn’t] have anything to wear.’ I am slightly confused by Mitch’s attitude. Hasn’t he just gathered his family and close friends to tell them all about our Saving Amy project? And he also talks of how he wants to help, ‘at least one family …’. Mitch doesn’t mind discussing Amy’s problems publicly but even amongst his own family, he is apparently now ‘embarrassed’ by her?

  Jane also surprises me by having strong opinions about Amy attending. I feel sorry for Janis, as she is Amy’s mother and it isn’t really Jane’s business. But Jane has had a tough few weeks, having to deal with being made redundant, although she has now found a new job. W
hile Mitch is at the hospital much of the time with his daughter, Jane has had to cope with the loss of her job largely by herself.

  During that time, when Mitch says, ‘I have to go to Amy’s hospital’, I hear Jane exclaim on at least five or six occasions, ‘Oh, no!’

  This is not because Jane dislikes Amy, but rather that she isn’t always able to deal with the constant battle for Mitch’s attention, not just with Amy but with Janis as well. She wants a normal family life with Mitch.

  Amy’s trip to St Lucia in December is born of this dilemma. Amy doesn’t want to stay in hospital anymore and has confronted the doctors about discharging herself. They can’t force Amy to stay in the hospital because she isn’t sick – at least, not physically.

  There is also the question of where she will go. Janis is scheduled to go to Miami for medical treatment for her MS and Mitch and Jane are meant to be going to the Canary Islands for a much-needed break. Mitch has also been looking for a new house for his daughter. He and Janis don’t want Amy to go back to her old home, just in case Blake is released from prison and goes back there – but that house isn’t ready yet.

  I look at Mitch and voice what I think is a natural solution to their problem, that he and Jane postpone their trip until January, after Amy is installed in her new home.

  ‘What is the big deal?’ I say. ‘It is not as if you have a 9 to 5 job, right? Your job is to save Amy.’

  Mitch immediately pipes up, ‘No. No. I can’t. Jane will divorce me. We have already promised friends. We have to go.’

  At that point it isn’t even about Jane’s schedule at work because she is about to be made redundant. It’s about Jane – and Mitch’s promise to her that they will go.

  ‘Jane will divorce me. I promised Jane,’ he repeats.

  Their marriage has a lot of problems and it is very easy to lay them all at Amy’s door, but Mitch is essentially torn between at least two women on a day-to-day basis – his second wife and Amy (three, if one includes Janis).

  Mitch had told me earlier that Amy has, on occasion, treated Jane badly in the past. He recounts one incident when Amy went to his home and stole Jane’s perfume. I comment that everyone knows that stealing or lying is common among addicts.

  However, Mitch carries on, saying that when he confronted Amy about the incident, she didn’t really understand what the issue was and her response was to send Jane an expensive gift instead.

  He explains, ‘It is not about that. It is about the fact that Jane didn’t want an expensive gift. She wanted her own perfume.’

  That is probably true, but given the context – that one person is a mature woman, who knows she is dealing with someone with problems, and the other is an addict, who lies and steals, and doesn’t necessarily think rationally – it seems a bit ridiculous for Mitch to torment himself over whose side he should take. It is so much wasted energy for him. But perhaps he, albeit unknowingly, enjoys being in the midst of the three demanding women in his life.

  I understand it is difficult for Jane. She rarely speaks in Mitch’s presence. Maybe she used to want to say more but now, perhaps, I think she chooses not to. The only time I really hear her express what she wants is when she and Mitch visit my vacation home, which I’ve already spoken about (see page 101).

  While there, it is obvious that Mitch needs to unload, which I understand, but it goes on for hours and hours, with poor Jane just listening. Mitch means so well, but when Jane breaks in and says she wants to be part of it all, that she wants to help, his response is to try to cuddle her and say, ‘Well, yes of course’. But Jane just repeats, ‘I want to be involved’.

  It is a very tense moment and shows that while Mitch has huge problems with Amy, he also has them with Jane, who needs more attention from him and wants to be more involved in decision-making.

  Mitch, however, is a control freak and needs to at least think he is calling all the shots. Even though I am very sympathetic about what he is going through with Amy, in a way, it is transparent that he uses Amy as an excuse. It is very convenient for him to say to Jane, ‘You have listened to me for years and you are so patient, but I can give you this amount of attention as I have such a sick daughter to deal with.’

  And that is why their marriage has problems – not because of Amy but because of Mitch’s excuses and his battle to please, as he sees it, Amy, Jane and, even to a certain extent, Janis, as well.

  So … Amy is sent to St Lucia because Mitch thinks Jane will divorce him if he postpones their holiday plans, although Mitch tries to convince me that it’s his daughter’s decision.

  ‘Amy wants to go to St Lucia,’ Mitch says to me as we are having dinner the night before she is due to fly out to the Caribbean island. But Mitch is tense: his face is so red that it makes me concerned about his health. He is scared that his daughter won’t make the flight and that the family’s vacation plans will be affected.

  The following day, he calls me, just to assure me that everything is OK.

  ‘She made the flight,’ he says.

  Amy’s friends slept over to make sure that she got on the plane. Mitch is obviously relieved. But, all I can think is, you have to question how on earth an addict dealing with alcohol problems ends up vacationing in a resort with free booze.

  In late December, photographs of Amy, without her trademark beehive and sporting short curly hair instead, frolicking topless in the waves in St Lucia or relaxing with friends, are published in the media. Reports also emerge that while Amy looks healthier and more curvaceous than she has done in recent months, she is out drinking heavily in bars on the island.

  Then in January, while I am hosting a surprise birthday party for my producer at a London restaurant at which Mitch is present, we receive a call telling us that Amy has been spilling her guts to no less than a reporter from the British Sunday paper News of the World.

  She has reportedly been talking about sex, drugs, and more sex … Blake is going mad, having heard about Amy’s alleged affair with a younger man while she’s been away and is reportedly seeking a divorce and half of Amy’s fortune. Mitch looks like someone has shot him. He leaves the birthday party shortly after the call. I am surprised as Mitch should be happy with the news of the divorce: after all this is what he and Janis have wanted for such a long time.

  There is one problem, however – Amy.

  Mitch shows up at my hotel two days after the party and confirms that the divorce proceedings are, indeed, official: ‘My solicitors were served the papers by Blake’s solicitors. However … I don’t know what to do. … Amy doesn’t understand why he wants to divorce her? I had to call her before she heard about it from someone else. … She asked me “Daddy, why does he want to divorce me?” I had to say: “Listen, you know I don’t like him. I hate him. But I have to admit that your behaviour with another man is not really what marriage is all about.”’

  Mitch flies out to St Lucia to be with his daughter. He asks me to join them but the flights and the emotions are too complicated – so I bail out. While he is on the plane Amy is photographed on all fours, prowling for alcohol, after bar staff refused to serve her. She has also allegedly been begging holidaymakers to get alcohol forher.

  The papers openly question why Amy, who is fighting addictions to both drink and drugs, has been sent to the Le Sport Spa for a ‘health kick’.

  When I call Mitch to warn him about these horrible photos, he starts screaming about the media, screaming about the hotel manager, screaming about the world …. He has just landed in St Lucia, so he is tired, and these photographs are challenging all his denials about Amy and also, seemingly, his own self-defence mechanisms.

  I am trying to rearrange my schedule to visit Amy in St Lucia. In the meantime, Janis manages to visit her daughter. Mitch has already visited Amy twice by this stage, but it is much more difficult for Janis to travel, given her medical condition.

  Janis and another female relative visit Amy for some quiet time. It is meant to be a surprise, Janis tells
me. And at that time, most people are speculating about when Amy will return to England to talk to Blake about the proposed divorce.

  Janis tells me that when Amy is informed that she has arrived in St Lucia and is staying next door, she screams, ‘Mummy, Mummy, Mummy.’

  Amy is delighted to see them. It brings back happy childhood memories, apparently, but after a brief reunion she leaves the two women and heads to the gym.

  Her mother tells me: ‘She has changed so much since I saw her last in London. She looks wonderful. She is different … Like someone who has got a new life – different.’

  Janis enjoyed her vacation in St Lucia. She recalls, ‘We had this apartment on the beach. It was next door to Amy so we could have … easy access without the media following up.’

  However, the mother and daughter bonding time ends up being very brief. Janis tells me that from the first day of their visit, Amy’s tied up trying to get an early flight back to London, but with little success.

  She describes one of her memorable encounters with her daughter, one that took place in late February 2009. The two women are sitting having lunch on the beach. They are being treated like VIPs and that is obviously because of Amy.

  ‘We were relaxed,’ she says. ‘Besides catching up with Amy, we needed to catch up with each other.’

  ‘We didn’t mind [that] we hardly saw Amy because I am her mother! I know how much she loves me. I never demand. And then, Amy showed up with her friend, Violet. She came and kissed me goodbye. She was leaving to … go back to London. She [had] found a flight via Barbados. Then she continued to say goodbye to other people. She disappeared from my sight. Then … reappeared …’

  Janis recalls that it was like a scene from a movie.

  ‘… My Amy was riding on a black horse! She was bowing towards me. … This horse’s name was “Black Beauty”!

  ‘I learnt that Amy coordinated it with a person who is in charge of the horses there. But it was such a magical moment.