The Imperfection of Swans

by Brandon Witt

  And it was. The brownstone glowed, from top to bottom.

  Casper shuddered to think what Kevin might have done if he’d been in Casper’s apartment that morning and found coffee grounds yet again. Blood would have flowed. No doubt. And if Kevin hadn’t done it, his mother would have.

  Casper and Noelle had bonded, often giving each other knowing glances as Kevin and Renata took a toothbrush to clean out cracks between floorboards, or had an emotional meltdown that a light switch had been installed slightly crooked into the wall.

  At times it was almost like watching a sitcom. A sitcom with dysfunctional, high-strung characters, but still.

  Even with all of the stress around things, and Kevin and Renata’s bickering and psychotic cleaning, Casper really did love watching the three Bivantis work. His own family was quieter, less argumentative, and calmer in general. However, there was a closeness between Kevin and his mothers that Casper had rarely experienced. At times Casper wondered what he’d gotten himself into, but overall, even with the stress and the setbacks, he knew without a doubt he was where he was supposed to be.

  KEVIN AND his moms were on the first floor, cleaning. Again. Casper had no idea what was left for them to clean at this point, but they had found something, it seemed.

  For his part, he was taking the day off. He and Charu were going to the movies. Casper was pretty sure he’d seen a judgmental look pass between Kevin and Renata as he’d introduced his friend and announced their plans for the day. Whatever. He couldn’t take another day of cleaning dirt that was no longer there, nor messing with paperwork for that matter. Just one day off every three weeks surely wasn’t too much to ask.

  “So, your plan is to put up new drywall?” Charu picked at a section of crumbling wall.

  “Yes. And Kevin is planning to replace the ceiling as well.”

  Charu glanced toward the stairs that led to the first floor and lowered her voice. “Is he crazy?” She motioned to the aged tin ceiling. “You can’t get rid of these. They’re gorgeous.”

  It was Charu’s first time seeing the brownstone. They barely got to see each other, as their days off rarely coincided. She was obviously completely enamored with the building.

  Casper shrugged in way of response. “Kevin likes things clean. I doubt the ceiling could ever be clean enough, even if we stripped it.”

  Charu looked up, walking slowly around the space as she inspected the tin. “They aren’t really in that bad of shape. A little rust here and there, and they’ve never been painted, so there is nothing to strip away. They just need to be cleaned and polished.”

  “I agree, I think it would be beautiful. Can’t you just see the copper glowing on the ceiling while the wood floor is glowing below.”

  Charu sniggered. “You’re so gay.”

  “Surprise. Surprise.” Casper waggled his finger at her playfully. “And don’t be mean. Or I might cancel our movie date.”

  At his words, Charu’s eyes widened. “Actually, I just canceled it. Now come on!”

  CASPER WAS convinced Charu was something of a miracle worker. Not only had she gotten the Bivantis to actually stop cleaning, but she’d enlisted them all to leave the brownstone and go to the Home Depot at South End.

  Four hours later, there were ladders, buckets, sponges, Brillo pads, brushes, and plastic tarps covering the floor of the brownstone’s second level.

  From atop one of the ladders, Noelle carried on for the thousandth time over how beautiful the ceiling was starting to look. “Charu, you are brilliant. I never would have guessed these old ceilings could look like this without hiring professionals to restore them.”

  Charu turned from where she was doing something on the wall. “I’m glad they’re turning out so well. They are too beautiful to get rid of or cover up.”

  “They’re kind of dull, actually.” Kevin helped scrub soapy water into the tin, but he was the least convinced.

  “That’s what the polish is for.” Charu returned her attention to the wall. “Besides, even if you don’t like it, which you will, but even if you don’t, you were planning on covering them up anyway. No harm done.”

  “And it beats cleaning.”

  Both Kevin and Renata looked at Casper like he’d spoken sacrilege.

  Noelle laughed.

  Casper padded carefully over the plastic-covered floor. He could just see himself falling down and breaking something now that he no longer had health insurance. He let out a little gasp when he looked over Charu’s shoulder and saw what she was doing.

  She shushed him. “Be still. Give me some time to do this without drawing attention. Your new friends here seem a little high-strung.”

  When he didn’t answer, she glanced back at him.

  “This is like the ceiling, correct? You boys are planning on replacing them?”

  “Well, if we weren’t, we’ll have to now.”

  Charu waved him off. “Oh, you of little faith. Now go help. And try not to get caught staring at Kevin’s stomach when his shirt rides up.”

  Casper hissed as he glanced to make sure she hadn’t been overheard. “Charu!”

  “What? You’re not as subtle as you think.”

  “Kevin is my business partner. I don’t think of him that way.”

  “Sure you don’t, Casper.”

  “I DON’T think this look is what we should be going for.” Kevin crossed his arms and scowled.

  The four of them stood in a semicircle around Charu. She’d called them over to show what she’d been working on.

  “Well, it’s not quite perfect. We can take some heavy-duty sandpaper to the edges of the drywall, to make it not quite as an abrupt appearance.” She scraped at the chalky substance with her nail. “I meant to get some when we went to the store, but I forgot.”

  Casper shook his head. He shouldn’t be surprised by his friend. “So you had this part planned from the beginning too, huh?”

  “Of course.” Charu looked proud of herself. Casper was beginning to see why.

  Charu had scraped off a huge portion of drywall, exposing the bricks beneath.

  Kevin addressed Casper instead of Charu. Casper couldn’t tell if he was upset with her or just stressed. Either way, he could tell Kevin would soon be reaching into his pocket for a pill. “We are opening an exclusive wedding dress and cake shop. Neither the dresses nor the cakes will be cheap. Our building shouldn’t look it either. The ceiling is one thing, but even that I’m not fully convinced of yet.”

  Casper glanced at Renata, expecting her to chime in. She didn’t. Her eyes were narrowed, and she looked around the room. Maybe if she were convinced….

  Charu wasn’t finished trying to persuade them. “Do you know how much money people spend on fake exposed brick? And it always looks fake. And a little cliché, if I’m being honest. But when it’s real, you can tell, and it is beautiful.” She motioned around the room. “I think we can do as much or as little as you want. Obviously the places where the drywall is spotted or warped, but we could do even more than that.”

  Renata spoke up then. “If we did that, we’d have to put on a sealant to trap in moisture and make sure there are no leaks.”

  Charu nodded. “Yes. But you’d have to do that either way.”

  “True.”

  Kevin gaped at them. Casper almost felt guilty.

  “Mom, are you actually considering this?”

  Noelle spoke up before Renata had a chance. “I think it could look beautiful.”

  So did Casper.

  He waited for Kevin to pop the pill into his mouth, then reached out and took his hand. “How about this, Kev.” He paused, catching himself. He’d not called Kevin that before. “What if we finish my level? We get the ceiling done and keep exposing bricks and see what you think. If you don’t like it, we can go with your original plan.”

  Kevin looked physically sick to his stomach. “Guess I don’t really have a choice. You all are invested in this with me. It has to be a group decision.”
/>   Casper held on to Kevin’s hand. “No. There will be aspects to the bakery that I’ll get the final call on, but not this. The building has to have cohesion, and this started as your vision alone. None of us would be here if it weren’t for you. You get final say.”

  He didn’t expect Kevin’s mothers to disagree—well, maybe Renata—and neither did.

  Kevin met his gaze, his expression almost childlike in its pleading for assurance. “You really think this will look good?”

  Casper smiled, unable to hold his excitement. “Yeah, I do. Once the ceiling and floor are both glowing, we’ve exposed a lot of the brick and gotten it cleaned up…. Can’t you just see it? Can’t you picture all your designer dresses in such a space? Not all uppity that would cut off your younger crowd, but trendy and classic enough to draw in your high payers?”

  As the vision became clear in his mind, Casper could see it all perfectly, and he knew exactly what their store was going to look like. He was more excited than ever.

  Still holding Kevin’s hand, Casper turned a smirking grin on Charu. “What are you doing? Trying to get hired at the next biggest wedding cake store in Boston?”

  Charu smiled unapologetically. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

  KEVIN

  KEVIN STOOD in the center of the room, his hands on his hips. He looked around in amazement. They were done. A week and a half of working their asses off, and they were finished. The ceilings were scrubbed, cleaned, and polished. The oxidization that speckled randomly over the copper-hued tin only added to the charm. They’d exposed even more brick than Casper’s friend Charu had originally suggested, and it almost looked overdone. But once everything was in place, breaking up the space, it would look perfect. Not how he’d envisioned it, but better somehow.

  “I can’t wait till we can get the floors done. This place is going to absolutely glow!” Casper beamed as he looked around.

  “You’re nearly glowing yourself, right now.”

  “Yeah, I bet I am.” He focused on Kevin. “Can you believe this is real, that we’re actually going to do this? Here of all places?”

  “Hardly, it still kinda feels like a dream.” A wonderful, beautiful, terrifying dream. Kevin was surprised to realize that Casper’s eyes were misty. “Are you okay?”

  “I just can’t believe this. And it’s partly mine. I’m not just renting it. Bella Dolce belongs to us. You and me.” Casper wiped at his eyes. “Thank you for making this real.”

  Kevin swore Casper was one of the nicest guys he’d ever met. “Actually, it’s you who made this happen. If you hadn’t swooped in and gotten on board, we would have lost this place. And it does belong to you and me, and half the Bivanti family. But we’ll buy them out one day, and then it will really be ours.”

  “Huh.” A strange smile curved over Casper’s face. “I kinda thought you’d want to buy me out one day so it is all yours, just one huge wedding dress shop.”

  That had been Kevin’s original plan as well, and it was disconcerting to realize it wasn’t any longer. “I think we’ve got something really great here. It’s the perfect combo. And we make a good team. I never would have done the ceilings like this, and definitely not the walls.”

  “Well, I never would have gotten it as clean if you weren’t here. You and your mom.”

  Kevin laughed. “No doubt about that.”

  “Not to make it all serious business, but I checked on a trademark website today. Bella Dolce is available if we want to pay the fee. You still sure about the name?”

  “Yeah, aren’t you? Sweet Beauty. That’s the name we’ve put on all the licenses and such.”

  Casper moved over to one of the larger sections of exposed brick, touching it tenderly. “I am. I think it’s pretty perfect. Bella for you. Dolce for me. I’m glad Noelle thought of it. But what if we want to move or expand?”

  “You’re planning on growing this into a chain already?”

  Casper grimaced.

  Actually, the idea rather appealed to Kevin. “Well, if we do, we will just have to always set up in a brownstone.”

  “That will be cheap.” They stood, continuing to bask in the beauty of their hard work. At last Casper broke the silence. “Come on. I’m starving, and we are going to celebrate.”

  A spark of panic. “No, I need to run back to the gym. I cut my cardio a little short, knowing we were going to finish this up today. I couldn’t wait to get started.”

  “I think you have a problem.” The tone in Casper’s words might have been teasing, but Kevin couldn’t tell. “We are going to dinner. Right now.”

  Kevin still hesitated.

  “I’m buying.”

  “That’s not the issue, I just really need—”

  Casper cut him off. “You need to eat. Stress is doing bad things to you. You’re getting skinnier every day. Just let me go upstairs and turn off the light. Will you get these down here?”

  Kevin nearly slipped into a panic trying to think of a good way to get out of dinner without hurting Casper’s feelings. There wasn’t one, short of coming up with some crisis.

  It was fine. Not fun, but fine. He’d been able to get out of dinners with anyone since the loan closing. That was long enough, he supposed.

  GIACOMO’S WAS close to the brownstone, but it was too cold to walk. However, once they found parking, driving had only saved them a couple of blocks. Kevin had been to the old Italian restaurant several times with his moms. Noelle liked it more than Renata. Kevin liked the food, but it was always just a little too crowded and a little too noisy.

  When Casper requested to be seated at the bar that overlooked the kitchen, Kevin nearly objected. It was loud enough in the place without having to hear the chefs banging around as they cooked.

  To his surprise, it was perfect. Though noisy, from where they were seated, it was little more than comforting backdrop. Loud enough to provide a lively energy, but quiet enough to talk easily without having to raise their voices.

  The other benefit, in addition to Giacomo’s having a glowing ambiance all its own, was watching Casper as he observed the chefs cooking away in the kitchen. He kept squinting his eyes behind his frameless lenses as if trying to see the specific nuances of what each chef was doing. Kevin nearly made a comment about all the squinting leading to horrible wrinkles, but he didn’t. Casper was enjoying himself too much. Plus, Casper had had two martinis and was even more carefree than usual. Kevin didn’t want to hamper that.

  Kevin did a little narrowing of the eyes of his own as he inspected Casper. He wasn’t really the type Kevin found attractive. More nerdy hot than anything. He wasn’t gorgeous, didn’t have rippling muscles, his hair was always a little messy. Of course, he was comparing Casper to Scott, which was unfair to do to anyone.

  Still. There was something attractive about Casper. Charming, at any rate.

  “You know, if you keep staring at me like that, you’re going to get wrinkles around your eyes.”

  Kevin jumped. Apparently he had zoned out in his contemplation of Casper and not noticed him turn to face him.

  “I was just kidding. Life’s too short to worry about wrinkles.”

  “Ha! Tell that to my mom.” Though there was no reason to blame Renata. Kevin felt just as strongly about skin care as she did.

  “Well, what woman in her fifties looks like your mom? Unless they’ve had a lot of work done.”

  Kevin laughed. “She hasn’t, but she’d thank you for saying so. Several people have accused Mom of having some touch-ups. She always takes it as a compliment.”

  Casper took another bite of their caprese appetizer, then the final swig of his martini. “Are things always so tense between you and your mom? Renata, I mean. I can’t imagine Noelle ever being tense.”

  It seemed the two martinis really had loosened him up. Kevin searched for the right way to explain Renata Bivanti. “Mom just likes things the way she likes them. Done right. I guess I’m kinda the same way.”

  “No,
no. I get that.” He wiped at his lips, then licked the moisture off his finger. “She just seems, I don’t know. Kinda mad. At you.”

  Kevin nearly laughed again. If Casper thought he’d seen his mom mad at the brownstone, he should see her since he’d moved back home. One biting comment after the next. Which, in fairness, was unusual for her. It was even making her and Noelle argue. He sighed. “Yeah, she’s not typically quite so severe. She is mad at me.”

  “Oh, about Bella Dolce? Was she wanting to keep it in the family? I don’t want to cause a rift between you two.”

  “No, Casper. It’s not about you at all. It’s just that….” Why was this so embarrassing to tell him? “Well, she’s upset that I got back with my ex recently.”

  “Oh.” Casper seemed to need a bit to process that. Kevin couldn’t read his expression. “Ex-boyfriends can be a bit tricky.”

  “No. Not ex-boyfriend. Sco—”

  Casper nearly guffawed. “Don’t tell me you have an ex-girlfriend. Especially one you’re getting back with! Are you in need of a beard or something?”

  Definitely a little tipsy. And a little loud. Kevin glanced around to see if they were collecting an audience.

  They weren’t. Another benefit of sitting above the crowd at the bar.

  “No. Not ex-girlfriend either. Though I’m not a gold star gay like you might presume. My ex-husband.”

  Casper’s brown eyes grew larger than what should have been humanly possible. “Holy shit. Are you kidding me? You’re not a gold star? I would have placed good money on…. Wait, did you say husband?”

  “Yeah. Scott, my ex-husband. He works at the bank and pulled some strings, so to speak, to help us get the loan.”

  Casper’s eyes grew even larger. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the waitress delivering their entrées.

  Kevin’s heart began to pound as he looked at the huge plate of gnocchi. He should have stuck with the salad he’d originally ordered. Ignored Casper’s teasing.