The Imperfection of Swans

by Brandon Witt

  “I wish we could get going right now. Now that we’re here, I want to see it all set up. I don’t want to sleep or do anything else until it’s all done.”

  “It will be a bit before it’s all done, Kev.” This part did worry Casper. Now that the brownstone was ready for them to really turn loose and get it how they wanted, he wasn’t sure if Kevin would be able to find a balance without breaking down. “And I can think of things I’d rather do with you than spend 24-7 in work mode.”

  Kevin turned toward him, not letting go of his hand. He trailed his free hand over Casper’s crotch. “How about for each major task we finish, we find a new way to celebrate.”

  “Uh, yeah. You win. I’ll work every minute of the day.” He groaned as Kevin squeezed his cock through his jeans. “Can we celebrate now?”

  “I don’t think the floors are quite ready for that yet. But when we get back to the hotel….”

  Kevin’s hand left Casper’s cock as he lifted his arms around Casper’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

  How the hell had he lived without this? If he didn’t trust fate so much, he would be afraid that it was too good to last.

  There was a throat-clearing noise from the front door.

  Breaking the kiss, Casper turned at the sound, then scampered backward to get away from Kevin.

  Renata and Noelle were standing in the doorway. Renata had an uncomfortably stern expression, and Noelle looked as if it was taking all of her self-control not to burst out laughing.

  And all Casper could think was how to hide his erection through his jeans. He couldn’t stuff his hand down and readjust or stand with both his hands covering his crotch. And there wasn’t a damn piece of furniture to stand behind. He could run up to the bakery and use the shelter of the marble counter, though that just might be noticeable as well.

  Apparently Kevin had no such concerns as he rushed toward the door, waving his arms frantically. “Don’t walk in here! Take your shoes off!” His panic sounded as if they were threatening to burn the place down.

  Noelle lost it. Doubled over in the doorway, laughing so hard she snorted.

  She might be Casper’s favorite of the Bivanti family. He started to snigger himself, until he was able to see past Noelle. Had they brought the whole family with them?

  “Laugh all you want, but I’m serious. Shoes off. They said socks only until tomorrow.” Kevin’s stern expression and his police-like posture, hand out at the doorway, set Noelle off into a new fit of laughter.

  Still laughing, she slipped her shoes off and carried them in her hand as she stepped into the brownstone.

  Renata glared, though Casper wasn’t sure who she was glaring at. Maybe at the store itself. She pointed down at her shoes. “I don’t have socks, dear.” She was wearing black stilettos. As per usual.

  “Geesh, sis. You’re a big lez. Act like it.” Tony stepped around her and into the building, also holding his shoes. He flinched when he’d made it fully inside. “Actually, Renata, you might want to stay there. It smells like someone spilled a few hundred bottles of poppers.”

  Two more of the siblings followed him in, each clad in socks. Beatrice and Francesca, though he couldn’t remember which was which.

  Kevin greeted each of them and then kissed his mother’s cheek in the doorway. “Sorry, Mom. I love you, but you’re staying there.”

  Casper wasn’t sure why she looked so offended. From what he’d seen from Renata, she would have done the exact same thing. Then Noelle was in front of him, sweeping him up into a huge hug before leaning back to stare meaningfully into his eyes. She didn’t say a word, but spoke volumes.

  Yep. Definitely his favorite.

  Tony came up and whapped him on the shoulder. “I thought I was just coming to see the renovations. Didn’t know I was going to get a show too.” His tone was teasing, but there was a warning behind his gaze. “Didn’t know about this new development. I guess I’m supposed to say welcome to the family, or is this a hookup for you?”

  “Tony!” Noelle smacked him on the shoulder, and from the sound of it, with the intention to sting. “Knock it off. Casper is wonderful, and this is a very good thing.”

  Tony looked skeptical.

  Both of the aunts were more unreadable as they greeted him.

  Renata spoke up from her prison in the doorway. “We knew you were getting to see the new floors this evening, so we thought we’d join. See how our investment is coming along.”

  Casper tried to read between the lines. He knew how his family would be if they’d invested in his business, and it wouldn’t be good. He glanced at Kevin to see his reaction.

  Kevin didn’t appear to feel the need to read between any lines, so that was a good sign. Hopefully. “Isn’t it gorgeous?”

  One of the aunts, Beatrice, he thought, padded over and touched one of the larger sections of exposed brick. “It’s beautiful. Renata had said that you moved away from your original design. I think this is going to look wonderful when it’s all done.”

  The other one—Francesca?—spoke up, pointing at the clusters of light pendants hanging from the ceiling. “It’s already wonderful. It’s gorgeous. Look at these lights—what a great idea.”

  “Those were Casper’s suggestion.” Kevin smiled over at him. “Not something I would have thought of, but it really brings it all together.”

  “I agree. Nicely done. Can we see the rest of the place?” Tony’s tone seemed more at ease, but still somewhat reserved. “I know I’m not an investor, but I’m still excited about this place. Rick wants to see it too, but I think he’s too embarrassed right now.”

  In all the bustle and his excitement over his new relationship, Casper had forgotten that Kevin said Tony and Rick had decided to stay together, as long as Rick remained in therapy.

  Kevin led the crowd up to the bakery. From the sounds of oohing and aahing floating down the stairs, the family was impressed.

  Casper stayed behind, feeling strange about leaving Renata stranded in the doorway. He walked over to stand awkwardly beside her. “You can borrow my socks, if you’d like. I hate for you not to be able to see it with everyone else.”

  He couldn’t miss her nose crinkle at the thought of wearing his socks. It was an expression he’d seen on Kevin’s face so many times already that he couldn’t help but find it rather adorable.

  “I think I’ll just wait, but thank you for the offer.”

  A tense silence fell between them, and Casper had no idea what he should say to make it better. With all the fumes still lingering, he imagined things should be a little more slaphappy and less Godfather.

  Finally Renata addressed him once more. “I want you to know that even though I’m not as overly exuberant as my wife, I am happy for you and Kevin.”

  “Thank you, that—”

  She cut him off. “Let me finish before you thank me. I do have to express my concern. I am worried that it is too soon after Scott. And don’t get me wrong, you’re much better than Scott… who isn’t? But I think the timing is bad, and I don’t believe it’s wise to start a relationship and a business at the same time. Noelle tells me to just be happy for our son. But I just needed you to hear my thoughts.”

  He had a hard time reading Renata, but there was a softness, a fragility, in her, even during such a speech, one that reminded him of Kevin, that made not liking her impossible. “Thank you for being up-front. I’d rather you tell me your fears than keep them to yourself.”

  She inspected him, as if digging for truth. “Are you not concerned about those things?”

  Casper almost lied, thinking that it might make her feel better, but he couldn’t do it. “Actually, no. I’m not. I know I should be, or at least I’m supposed to be. But I just feel it’s right. I have so much peace about it.”

  “Do you love my son?”

  He felt his eyes widen at that. He for sure hadn’t been expecting that question. His heart pounded out an answer, probably loud enough for her to hear. “I’m sorry,
Renata. I’m not going to tell you that before I even say the words to Kevin.”

  “Hmmm.” Though she didn’t smile, Casper could sense it. “You remind me of Noelle.”

  “I’ll take that as a huge compliment. And a good sign.”

  She didn’t respond, but again, he knew she was smiling in there. Somewhere. When she finally spoke, there was warmth in her tone. “I also want you to know that even though it may look otherwise, we aren’t here to take over yours and Kevin’s business. While it’s not the way I would have chosen, I trust my son and know that he will do what he sets out to do. We might have money invested, but that will not affect our interference with how the two of you manage it.” Her gaze flicked up toward the voices drifting down from overhead. “That goes for all of us.”

  Casper wasn’t really sure how to respond to that either. So he kept it simple. “Thank you.”

  Renata nodded and brought her attention to the green doorframe. She leaned closer, then ran a finger down the surface before inspecting it. “You boys need to dust.”

  KEVIN

  HE’D ORIGINALLY thought they’d be open by midsummer, but July had arrived, and they were at least a month out before they could even consider it.

  He never dreamed they’d have so much trouble deciding when to open. Not that it was simply due to being indecisive. There was a glitch in everything they’d tried to do.

  After they had the sections paneled off for each of the designers, which consisted of a changing room, sitting area, and mirror, they’d hung up all seven of the collections. Kevin had gone to bed on cloud nine. The shop was more beautiful than he’d imagined. And to see all those gowns hung truly felt like a dream come true. He and Casper had woken up the next morning, cooked breakfast, and came down to find three of the collections on the ground. They’d chosen the wrong metal bars and installed them incorrectly. Each had damaged the partitions as they fell, so those had to be fixed, they needed to redo the hardware for every design section, and somehow one of Devina Malloy’s dresses had gotten ripped. Kevin lied to her and told her they’d sold the sample dress to a bride who couldn’t wait to order a custom fit. That dress alone cost him an extra two and a half thousand dollars.

  While all the lights were beautiful, when they were all on in all three floors, the master breaker kept flipping off. After the electrician came to inspect, he realized their mistake. That fix was free, but it took two weeks to get in the replacement parts. Two weeks! Maybe deliveries had reverted back to the horse-and-buggy method.

  The owner of the sushi restaurant a block and a half away had served them with papers stating that they couldn’t serve food at that location, as it would infringe on his business. Kevin had completely broken down that evening. One of the worst panic attacks he’d had in years. All their work, and it would come to nothing. Casper had been irritated about it, but laughed it off. He said that it happened from time to time, that it was just some people’s way of being a jackass. As they weren’t planning on serving sushi, all they had to do was submit paperwork and prove that their intent was wedding bakery items, not raw fish. Casper hadn’t seemed worried at all. And while maybe he didn’t need to be, it still was another hoop to jump through, and more waiting until they got the approval to proceed, which Casper assured him they would. Still, it chipped away even more time.

  Kevin was on the verge of another panic attack hours after the sushi-induced episode, certain that Casper was going to bolt now that he’d seen him lose control. Casper handled Kevin’s break with the ease that he seemed to approach every situation.

  And through it all, Kevin was on fire.

  “ONE SALESGIRL told me that I wouldn’t want a veil because it might get caught on my bindi and get damaged.” Charu goggled her eyes at them from where she sat on the new love seat.

  “You’re kidding!” Casper gawked at her.

  “Oh.” Kevin looked back and forth between the two friends, feeling lost. “That was… huh.”

  Charu nodded in Kevin’s direction. “Right? Thank you. And”—she leaned forward as if getting ready to tell a secret, but her voice rose in volume—“she told me that I’d want to quit eating curry at least six weeks before the wedding so that the smell wouldn’t seep from my skin into the dress. I don’t even like curry!”

  Casper threw back his head and laughed.

  “Oh no! I’m not done. I’ve saved the best part!” Charu waited until both Casper and Kevin were looking directly at her. “She also said that I’d want to make sure that the skirt was full enough to straddle”—Charu raised her fingers and motioned air quotes—“her word, not mine, straddle the cow as I ride it down the aisle. Then she asked if we eat the cow at the reception.”

  Tears were streaming down Casper’s face. “Oh. My. God.”

  “I know! Insane!” Charu nodded and glanced at Kevin, apparently waiting for a bigger reaction.

  Kevin cringed apologetically. “Okay, I get that she was saying something offensive about Indian culture with the cow thing, obviously you’re not going to ride the cow and then eat it. That would just be tacky. But what’s a bindi?”

  And that really made Casper lose control.

  Charu shook her head and smiled, then addressed Casper as she motioned her thumb at Kevin. “Where did you get this one?”

  Once Casper was able to get enough air, he grinned over at Kevin. “A bindi is a dot or jewel that some Indian women wear on their forehead. Even if Charu took part in that practice, she could still wear a veil.”

  “I’d hate to think what movies that girl has been watching to come up with that picture of Indian culture.” Charu made a grand gesture, taking in the recently nearly completed dressing area. “And that place was so not cute compared to this.”

  “So you’re saying Kevin shouldn’t make sweeping and incorrect cultural assumptions based on the client’s skin tone.” Casper put a hand on Kevin’s knee. “I bet you can handle that, right, babe?”

  Charu grabbed his other knee. “And never, never, comment about how a woman smells!” She glanced down, squeezing his knee once more. “Good Lord, Kevin, you are skinny! I need to buy you a cheeseburger.”

  He felt his face flush, and he tried to think of a distraction.

  Thankfully, Casper provided. Kevin almost thought it was intentional, his tone suddenly stern, despite the words. “Well, Charu, I think you win the best story of the wedding dress shopping adventures. The most anyone else has come up with was snobby and rude salespeople. Though some of those were unbelievable as well.”

  “That’s the strange thing. This girl was really sweet and nice, or at least thought she was. She had no idea she was offensive. She really thought she was being helpful.” Charu looked back at Kevin. “So, yes, stay away from racial profiling and you’ll be fine.”

  “Since you’ll be right above me, you can keep me on track.” Kevin tried to feel the Xanax in his pocket without being obvious. He needed to take it, but didn’t want to draw attention. He’d already been feeling edgy; being so close to done and having to sit and talk was making him crazy enough, but Charu’s comment about his weight had put him over the edge. “I really appreciate you going undercover for us.”

  “Oh, no problem. It was actually a lot of fun. Probably won’t try on another wedding dress for the next forty years.” A buzz sounded, and Charu pulled out her phone.

  Kevin felt Casper’s gaze on him. He glanced over.

  With a nod, Casper subtly motioned toward Kevin’s hand rubbing over the pill, then mouthed, “Are you okay?”

  Kevin shook his head. He hated the instant worry and stress that covered Casper’s face.

  After Charu had responded to the text, Casper stood. “I’m going to steal you from Kevin for a bit. Wanna come check out some new designs I’ve been thinking of? I need your editing eye.”

  “You bet.” Charu got up from the love seat with a little wave at Kevin and followed Casper toward the stairway. “Are you closer to an opening date? I’m not sure I ca
n wait much longer.”

  And on that note, Kevin needed two pills.

  There had been periods before when his acid reflux would threaten to boil him alive, but he couldn’t remember it lasting for so long. He longed for the constant burning of the past; it was nothing compared to what his body was putting him through now. He’d felt like he was drinking acid for weeks.

  So, when were they going to open? When should Charu give notice? When should they send out invitations for the grand opening of Bella Dolce, and what date should they put on those?

  The fuck if he knew!

  No sooner had Casper and Charu disappeared to the bakery than Kevin rushed to the gorgeous new bathroom, already chewing the Xanax to bits, and collapsed on the floor in wracking sobs, unable to get a full breath. He at least managed to get the door shut before completely falling apart.

  Though it felt like hours, it was less than five minutes before the bathroom door opened.

  He’d gotten it shut, but not managed to lock it. Kevin rushed up to push it closed again.

  Casper’s soft whisper cut through his panic before he’d slammed it shut. “It’s just me, Kev.”

  Kevin let him come in, though he hated Casper seeing him like this. “Char—” He gulped in air. “Ch—”

  Casper sat on the floor with him. Not touching him, but close enough that Kevin could reach for him if he needed. “She’s working on the designs upstairs. I told her I needed a few minutes with you.” Kevin could hear the attempt at humor in his voice, but didn’t look up. “I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m giving you a blow job right now. She won’t risk coming down for a bit.”

  Kevin just nodded, still attempting to breathe.

  Within four minutes, he was in Casper’s arms, some oxygen was starting to get through, and his shaking began to slow.

  “I’M SORRY about today.”