by Kate Wendley
“Of course. I’ll email you some names and their specialties for you to choose among.”
“I don’t want a list. I want your recommendation for the best one.”
“You want me to pick?”
“Yes. You. I trust you.”
Anthony glared contemptuously at the table in front of him. “Since when?”
Ethan didn’t even hesitate. “Since always. I just didn’t like you because I didn’t like your face.”
Anthony startled at this level of honesty he’d never heard from him before, and then his temper flared.
Ethan quickly said, “What I mean is, you reminded me too much of your father and that was my problem, not yours. You’ve never done anything wrong.”
Anthony couldn’t help his jaw hanging open now. Kaia looked a question at him and he felt like he was invading Ethan’s privacy by letting her see his shocked reaction. He tried to control his facial expressions better.
Not sure how to respond to Ethan’s candid admission, Anthony cleared his throat and said, “Very well, I’ll send you my recommendation. I have two in mind, two with somewhat different specialties. Both have years of experience and many credentials to their name.”
“Just give me one.”
“With all due respect to your personal situation, Ethan, I’m not an expert at what you need. Please read through the bios of these two counselors and determine which one you think could best address what’s bothering you most.”
Ethan sighed into the phone. “All right. Thank you. Can you send them to me tonight?”
“Kaia and I are out to eat, but we’ll cut our evening short and go back home to get this for you. You should have it in a couple of hours, unless you want me to call and ask Zach to send it.”
“No. You send it. I don’t care that everyone else knows why I wanted to kill your father, and you, but my personal problems are my own.”
“Very well.”
**
Ethan anxiously waited for Anthony’s email while Harmony sat in the living room doing something on her own computer. His thoughts wandered a bit in the meantime, and Echo’s name came to mind. Echo was a vampire in Anthony’s family that was something of a psychic, or a seer. She had the power to just know things, though what exactly she did to get that information seemed to vary.
He’d heard from some people over the years that she actually had visions, while others said she just knew things, even knew people’s thoughts at times. Either way, he wondered if she might be more help to him than some mortal shifter therapist. The thought actually gave him some hope, more so than the idea of spilling his guts to a shifter, or God forbid, a human.
Echo might at least understand the nagging feeling he had that something was directly causing these panic attacks, as well as his memories of Sonya being so powerful lately. Something besides Isaiah being back in town. As much as he hated Isaiah, he didn’t feel like the bastard was causing this craziness any more than before he’d returned, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe Ethan was trying too hard to ignore what the real problem was… that he hadn’t killed Isaiah. Maybe that’s what would put all this to rest.
His email notification popped up and he quickly opened Anthony’s message. And for once he was glad the man was so formal and reserved all the time. It made it easier to ask for and actually accept help from him.
There wasn’t much to his email besides a subject line that said, ‘Requested information’ and then two hyperlinks to websites for the counselors he mentioned. He signed off simply, ‘Anthony’.
Ethan respected him for being discreet even by email. He could’ve just as easily told him to go to hell rather than help him. The man had every right to after what an asshole Ethan had been to him over the years.
He clicked on both links, quickly skimming the bios to find out why Anthony wouldn’t recommend one over the other. One counselor specialized in couple’s therapy, which was the type of professional he’d expected to be referred to. The other was a PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder therapist. He frowned in irritated confusion. As a Master Vampire he was used to violence and death. He’d asked Anthony for this recommendation, though, so he stubbornly read through the PTSD symptoms list on the doctor’s site.
He sat in stunned silence as many of the symptoms hit home for him. He stared at his laptop for a solid twenty minutes without moving as his eyes glazed over, the memory of waking up to Sonya being murdered right beside him like a well-worn blanket. He couldn’t ever possibly forget something like that, but could he learn to move on from it? Was that what was making him so crazy? And was Isaiah being back his ‘trigger’ for all this madness?
He forced himself to call the counselor’s office, and of course got an answering service. He left his name and number and felt let down that he hadn’t actually gotten to talk to anyone, even just to make an appointment.
He called the couple’s counselor and left a message for her as well, figuring to hell with it. He’d double down with help if it would save his relationship with Harmony.
Just as he hung up from the second call, the PTSD counselor called back.
“Dr. Verlander. Thank you for calling.”
“Of course. PTSD issues are no laughing matter. Can I confirm whom I’m speaking with please?”
“If you’re wondering if this is Ethan LeBeau, friend and sometimes foe of Anthony Foster, that’s me.”
“I see. And what can I help you with, Mr. LeBeau?”
“Call me Ethan. I have a problem that I’d like your help with. Anthony recommended you to me.”
“That was very kind of him. And who would I be seeing?”
Ethan more firmly said, “Me. And I expect our conversations to remain private. When would you have an opening? I’ll pay extra to get in sooner rather than later.”
The doctor made a surprised sound, then excitedly said, “We can meet tonight if you like.”
“All right. That’s suspiciously accommodating, but I’ll take it.”
“Call it extreme professional curiosity. It’s not every day someone of your race, and age, wants to talk about personal problems. In fact I’ve never had it happen. I feel honored to be the one to put my skills to the test with someone like yourself to prove my worth as a specialist in my field. I’ll clear my calendar if you need me to, though most of my clients are during the day so that wouldn’t really be necessary.”
Ethan couldn’t believe the man’s audacity and decided the doctor must be crazy. But, Anthony recommended him, and dammit if he didn’t trust his judgment. “Fine, whatever, but if you breathe one word of what we talk about to anyone, I don’t care who’s family you belong to. I’ll rip your heart out. No, wait. Better yet, I’ll wipe your memories and leave you alive.”
That earned a gasp from the doctor, but he agreeably said, “As long as we understand one another. Where would you like to meet?”
**
Harmony anxiously kissed Ethan goodbye before he took off for his appointment. He’d asked her if she wanted to go with, but it wasn’t all that hard to convince him that he needed to do this by himself.
Once he walked out the door, she felt strange being in his apartment by herself. This was actually his place, not hers. She cared for Ethan and wanted to be an important part of his life, but she didn’t feel like this was her home yet. Not while things were still new between them, and for sure not while she was in a battle with a dead woman for her place in his heart.
She had her walls up and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it. She was supposed to be finding her zen here in Atlanta, not messing up her restless soul even more. Feeling more confused than ever, she pulled out her laptop to see if she could reach anyone by email to get the scoop on what was going on in other territories… just in case.
She’d barely started looking through her contacts when there was a knock at the door. She could feel by the energy in the air that it was a shifter, and on instinct she tensed. It took a little effort to remind herself she was a lot
more powerful now that she’d had Ethan’s blood. In fact, she was probably more powerful than most shifters in Atlanta by this point, so with renewed confidence she got up and opened the door.
It was Ethan’s roommate, Cory. “You knock on your own door?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want to interrupt anything.” He looked behind her in the apartment, then did that sniffing thing a lot of shifters did. “Ethan’s not here?”
She shook her head. “He’ll be back in a couple hours or so.”
“Is it ok if I grab something then?”
She stepped back and gestured him inside. “Of course. It’s your place.”
“Thanks.”
He took off in the direction of his room, which was down a hall on the opposite side of the kitchen, just inside the front door. When he came back out, she asked, “So where do you always disappear to? Got a night job?”
He reply seemed cautious. “Ethan and Christopher usually keep me pretty busy being their assistant. Ethan hasn’t asked me to do much for him lately, though. Not since you got here.”
“So if you’re not working, and you never hang out at home, what do you do?”
He gave her a look, seeming like he was thinking something through in his head, then turned to the kitchen and got a soda out of the fridge. “Ethan and I used to hang out a lot, actually. I’m just making myself scarce. I’ve never seen him get serious with a woman before, so I’m giving him some space. He’d do the same for me. Besides, I still have things I do for Christopher. Just not tonight.”
He popped the top of the can and chugged his drink as he watched her.
She frowned and sat down at the kitchen table. “Ethan quit going to work because of me?”
Cory sat across from her and casually shrugged. “Christopher can handle a lot of things himself. I doubt Ethan needs to be so involved all the time. It’s not like he’s desperate for money, he just likes to hang out with the guys.” He looked pointedly at her and smiled. “At least he used to.”
Harmony’s head and heart were at war with each other, and every little thing she learned about Ethan only made it worse. He was trying so hard…
Cory’s eyes playfully lit up. “You play cards?”
“Sometimes.”
“Poker?”
She smirked. “Let’s do it.”
**
Ethan took the long way home. Dr. Verlander confirmed that Ethan was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, but also just plain old grief over losing someone he’d cared so much for. His recent anxiety attacks took their conversation in a bad direction though.
After talking about what could be his recent triggers for him having these attacks every night, and Ethan admitting that ever since Harmony moved in he no longer raced around his apartment when he first woke in such panic, the doctor said something that was now stuck uncomfortably in his head.
He said that maybe somewhere deep in his subconscious he really did think Harmony was Sonya. And maybe he was purposely replaying all his old memories in the hopes that he could somehow remake them with Harmony, and this time around save her from death.
The doctor hadn’t waited for a response, he’d just thrown it out there like they were having a brainstorming session and it was just one of many crazy ideas that may or may not have merit.
But that was the only idea Ethan couldn’t get off his mind.
He swore his love for Harmony had nothing to do with Sonya, but the idea haunted him because he hadn’t felt such a connection to someone since Sonya. Did that mean he was trying to make her into his dead lover?
He was so out of sorts with ancient memories crowding his every waking thought lately that he felt like he could barely think straight anymore. He supposed it was the perfect environment for his mind to play tricks on him, and he was sick of thinking about it.
He spent the rest of the drive back to Wild Woods having an imaginary conversation in his head with Anthony’s seer, Echo. Not that she could hear him, he didn’t think, but he asked her over and over again to explain the craziness going on inside him. He asked her to tell him how to get his sanity back so he could save his relationship with Harmony. He swore he didn’t even care anymore if he lost his memories of Sonya in order to make room for a life with Harmony, but he wasn’t sure that was entirely true. He just wanted to be able to live with them, and not let them overrun his life.
By the time he made it home he had a nonstop mantra going in his head of him begging Echo for help, so much so that he had to sit in his car for almost five minutes while he pulled himself back together.
**
Harmony was having fun playing Texas hold ‘em with Cory and a few other shifters from the building. When Cory started putting everything away right in the middle of a game, she thought he’d gone a little cuckoo, and not in a good way. At least until she realized she felt Ethan outside.
She said, “You’ve got a strong connection to him.” Which meant she obviously did, too.
Cory shrugged and the other shifters took off as if this was normal. Harmony helped get the cards back in their boxes while Cory finished putting poker chips back in the carousel.
Ethan walked soberly in the door in the meantime. He smiled when he saw what they were doing. “Who won?”
Cory said in amusement, “Harmony.”
Ethan tiredly chuckled. “That’s my girl.”
Cory tucked everything neatly back into a cupboard, then grabbed his jacket. “See you guys later.”
They both watched him go, and Harmony wasn’t sure what to make of Ethan’s mood as he stood just inside the door. She stepped closer but didn’t reach for him as she waited for him to give her some kind of cue.
“How did it go?”
He took his time answering. “Different than I thought.” He pulled her into a big hug and said against her hair, “I love you, Harmony. You. There’s no one else but you.”
Chapter 23
Ethan was being quieter than normal tonight and Harmony fought with herself over whether or not to ask what was on his mind. Mostly she just wanted to know when he was going back for another session with the counselor, and if anything seemed to be different for him in his head yet. Whether or not she could let her wall down and care for him in his time of need, she wasn’t sure if it was really her place, as the new girlfriend, to ask if he was over his wife’s death yet. Worse yet, it made her feel jealous and guilty for even thinking about him wanting to be over someone who’d been so important to him.
The doorbell rang and they looked at each other in confusion. Ethan went all the way downstairs to see who it was and she tagged along behind, thankful for something to shake up Ethan’s melancholy.
She regretted her thought when she saw Ethan’s face. He barely looked at the woman on the other side of the security door before rushing outside in shock, his eyes wide and transfixed on her.
She was a beautiful woman with long blonde hair and a dusting of freckles across her nose and upper cheeks. And she was vampire. Ethan only had flings with shifters, so what was this woman to him? “Ethan, is this a friend of yours?” The jealousy was a little thick in her voice, but she had a right to know, dammit.
He didn’t take his eyes off the woman as he mumbled, “It’s Echo. Anthony’s seer.”
“A seer?” Her heart calmed… a little. Looking her over again, she realized Echo didn’t seem all there right now.
Ethan was anxious when he said, “She’s psychic or something.”
Harmony frowned in confusion at his weird mood, then turned her attention back to Echo, whose eyes quickly clouded over. Creepy…
Ethan carefully asked, “Echo, what can I do for you? Do you have something to tell me?”
Echo stared at him with her glassy eyes and slowly nodded. “The answer is in death. Death will unlock your confusion.”
Ethan seemed disturbed by that, and Harmony had no idea what the crazy woman was talking about. Seth and Nala appeared around the corner in the meantime,
and Seth instantly focused all his attention on Echo.
The woman slowly turned and pointed at Nala, though how she could see anything through those cloudy eyes was beyond Harmony. “The answer is in her. Death.” Her words ran together as she started repeating over and over again, “The answer is in her death the answer is in her death the answer…”
Nala seemed horrified as she glanced helplessly around their small group. Seth wasted no time pulling her close and hugged her tight against himself, which scared Echo for some reason. She instantly stopped mumbling, which would’ve been an improvement over her creepy craziness if she hadn’t started screaming instead. She shrieked as she took shaky steps backwards, acting like poor Nala was something out of a nightmare.
Ethan grabbed hold of Echo and tried to calm her down as he shouted directions at the rest of them. “Seth, take Nala home. Harmony, call Anthony. Now.”
Harmony freaked out. Echo’s unworldly screaming hurt her ears, but she really didn’t want to call scary Anthony. “I don’t have his number!”
Ethan rattled it off and she punched it into her phone while she wondered what in the hell was going on.
**
Anthony meandered through the botanical gardens near Piedmont Park with Kaia on his arm. This was where they’d had their first official date, and it brought back pleasant memories. She snuggled into him and told him about her day while the scent of green things all around them and the canopy of trees above muffled the sounds of the busy city.
They talked a little more tonight about her quitting her job, but he didn’t push the conversation. She seemed tense whenever he brought up anything to do with changes she’d need to make before her transition, and he worried more than a little that she’d reconsidered wanting to be vampire with him. So many things would be different about her life once she turned, and not working anymore, at least not at her current job, but possibly never again, was the least of what she’d need to learn to manage. Maybe that was starting to sink in for her, and perhaps she’d decided she didn’t want to let her human life go after all.
