George Knows

by Mindy Mymudes

  The smelltaste of tuna fudge makes my tummy rumble. There is a table where the porch stops. I want to mark the posts that hold up the roof, but they are on top of a short wall.

  It’s too high for me.

  The smelltaste makes a strand of drool dangle from my mouth. When did I eat last? I don’t remember, maybe never? I sidle up to Auntie Heather, sit, and give her pleading eyes. It’s basset hound magic—resistance is futile. I drool at the thought of the tuna brownies. They smell wonderful, like sweetfishwarmsoftgooeygarlic.

  My tail thumps in expectation. Auntie Heather is tall, even for a Ladypeep, and she squats next to me. Her dark hair has threads of a lighter color and she keeps it clipped back out of her eyes. It’s poodle fur. She catches my image and laughs. I thump my tail even faster and roll over on my back. It’s past time for belly rubbies.

  Of course, Auntie Heather accepts my invitation.

  I am totally irresistible.

  “George, that’s enough for now.”

  That means it’s time for food, but she turns her attention to Karly.

  I’m wrong? Fooooood...

  “The bones look human. Put them over there on the table please, we’ll know for sure with just a little work. Everything’s all set up.”

  Karly’s eyes are as round as cookies. “How’d you know what we’d be doing?”

  Auntie Heather shrugs. “I saw it. I have tuna fudge for you, George. You already smelled them, didn’t you, buddy?”

  Is it that obvious? My drool is a waterfall.

  “There are cookies and milk for you, sweetie. Did you call your mom to tell her you’re going to be late?”

  Karly looks at her aunt with stormy eyes.

  “If you knew we were coming, why didn’t you?” Karly’s eyes instantly change from snit to sheepish. “I am sorry. I’ll call her now. May I use your phone?”

  Auntie Heather raises her brows. “Where’s your cell?”

  Karly bites her lip and speaks softly. “Um. I’m not sure. In the park, maybe?” “We didn’t have time to find it.” She points to me. “He went off and found these. Same reason we don’t have the jewelweed. What good is his nose if he doesn’t use it? Can noses have ADD?”

  Auntie Heather sighs and gestures to the house. “You know where the phone is.”

  Karly takes off and the screen door clangs shut. I trot to the wood table, lock eyes on the tuna fudge, and whimper.

  Drool.

  Tuna fudge.

  I feel more strands of saliva forming and shake them off. One of my ears flops over my head. Good, Auntie Heather can’t put me off now. Peeps are always suckers for cute ears. “Aroo!” The fudge is mine.

  “You did a good job with Karly today. Though, I wish you’d brought back the jewelweed. One of my friends needs it for her itchy skin.” She sighs. “At least it’s not an emergency.”

  Nodding my ear back, I whine. Tunatunatuna. I need less talk, more treat action. She gives in and tosses me a chunk. I catch it in the air—I am so coordinated. Woofing for another, she tosses me a tiny chunk. I gulp it down.

  It’s gone.

  I gaze with my magic basset eyes for another. Auntie Heather holds up empty hands.

  Oh, oh no!

  “OwoooooOOoo.” No! I’m sure I smelltaste more in the air.

  Karly bounds back out of the house.

  “’Kay. Mom says I can stay here until dinner, unless you want me to stay over. It’s spring break, so I don’t have to get up early.” She gives her aunt basset eyes. Karly likes Auntie Heather’s food as much as I do, except for tuna fudge.

  She has no taste. “Oh, and she wondered if you had any fresh basil and lemongrass.”

  I know about grass. It’s good when I need to throw up.

  “Mom’s making pesto tomorrow and hers don’t grow as nice as yours.”

  Yum, pesto. What’s pesto? Can I eat it?

  “It’s early yet. We’ll see how long it takes and, if we need more time, I’ll call Doreen and you can stay for dinner. Maybe we can give your mom and dad a night off and invite your brother. I haven’t seen Joey for a long time. He’s getting to be such a big boy.”

  Karly’s jealousy of The Creep rolls over me like waves of bitter teabags. The bad part of being her familiar is feeling her emotions. She isn’t usually very jealous of him. I know she’s still angry she had to do his chores because he wasn’t feeling well. “Are you ready?” They take seats at the table. I sit at Auntie Heather’s feet, but can’t see anything. I jump up and put my paws on the table. A light colored crystal totters over and lands on my paw. “Yelp!”

  “You don’t belong at the table, George,” says my Girlpup. Snort that.

  Auntie Heather grabs me by my collar and hauls me onto a chair. Now I can see the bones laid out in the center of a bunch of light and dark crystals. I can feel the energy that the witches can call from the rocks. It’s tingly and smelltastes like orange soda. I know because I sneak it from Karly’s cup sometimes. I would like more.

  “If we do this right, we can see how much living energy still remains in the bones. From that we can get a rough idea how old they are.” Auntie Heather positions the crystals so they make crisscrosses through the remains.

  This is ridiculous. I paw Auntie Heather’s hand. My nose can tell how old the life scent is just as well as her crystals can, and I am faster! Karly says my nose has ADD. What’s ADD? Packparents say Joey has ADD. My nose does not. It’s perfect. “Woof!”

  “Shhh, George. Yes, I know you can do this as well as we can. You could’ve tried without waiting for us. It doesn’t matter, this is a fine learning opportunity for Karly. She needs to learn how to do it herself, so she isn’t dependent on you. All right?”

  I sit in my chair and mope. Now that I know what they are, I can smelltaste more. The bones smell old, older than the bone I have buried in the backyard. They may even be from before breakfast time.

  * * * *

  Karly loves getting lessons from Auntie Heather. She found out she’s a witch two years ago when she had her tenth birthday. The most magic moment in her life was when Auntie Heather gave me to Karly as a birthday familiar. I wish she could’ve started earlier, but witches need to bond to the Earthmom first. She was way too little back then.

  The patio table is covered with a light tan cloth embroidered with various healing plants, phases of the moon, and stars. Over the top are a lot of my auntie’s favorite crystals. They range in size from a can of dog food to one of my claws. Karly is concentrating on the collection, trying to puzzle out what’s necessary. A low soundfeel murmurs between the crystals. Gold threads sparkle between some stones, dead areas are between others, and some have weak connections. I catch Auntie Heather’s eye and nod. My auntie is testing Karly. She moves a few—the thrum doesn’t change. Some of the stones aren’t needed and she knows it.

  Auntie Heather bends into Karly, her face so close that even my Girlpup should smell the peppermints our auntie likes to eat. “Do you need help?” she asks.

  Karly clenches her fists and bites her lip. She’s searching the pattern. We both feel it isn’t right, but she doesn’t ask for help from Auntie Heather or me. She sucks in air and fills her lungs. She doesn’t smelltaste anything, a waste if you ask me. As she slowly breathes out she lifts her hands over the collection of crystals. I see the colors through her eyes and she doesn’t try to push me out. Now she needs what I see, too. There are areas with gaps where the energy isn’t flowing right, sort of like sunshine on the dust that floats around my favorite chilling spot. The bad spots look like shadows.

  Karly looks up and stops biting her lip. She collects stones that don’t work and asks our auntie, “Is there any more red jasper? I don’t need the rose quartz, amethyst, or the…citrine. That’s it.”

  Auntie Heather takes away the crystals Karly doesn’t want and hands her several shiny chunks of jasper. Still looking through Karly’s eyes, I see the jasper is as deep red as raw meat. My stomach rumbles and both Peeps t
urn to look at me. I lower my head, hey, I haven’t been fed in forever.

  Karly is looking at the grid, her hands just above the setup. She bites her lip again and I hear her make a soft “hm” sound. She moves chunks of jasper and clear quartz. I feel the current of energy jolt through my Girlpup. I am proud of her, even if this is magic our auntie taught her. After all, I am getting to help. We feel bass vibrations, like from Karly’s stereo speakers, run through us. She continues to move some of the stones until the pattern is in tune. Next, she carefully puts the bones in the center, each one the same distance apart.

  “Do you remember what you’re looking for?” Auntie Heather and I cock our heads. Karly snorts. She is feeling very confident. Well, I won’t let her down, but let’s see what she can do. She hasn’t done this before. Neither have I, actually. I am the bone expert here, though.

  Karly is very quiet as she puts her hands back over the top of her construction. I feeltaste the crystal energy bounce off the bone, and where there’s lots of energy the bass vibrations are strong. I share the smelltaste of ice and heavy glass. She searches for any life-energy still in the bone. We feel there isn’t much, only a small vibration and that’s probably the spider weaving a web between a couple of the crystals. The bones are very old and very dead. Not fossil old, but still, the oldest things we’ve ever felt doing this kind of magic with our Auntie. Unlike the crystal grid, the faint spark of energy is the lighter tenor of Peeps. Mine is the same as my bay, a baritone. The color is exactly the shade of yellow as snow after I mark it. Karly groans at my thought.

  “They’re human and dead a long time. Now, how do I tell how old they are? Can I tell who they belonged to?” She’s liking this and thinks it’s like a cold case on one of the TV shows she watches. I sneeze, trying to get her attention. Hello, Girlpup, you can just ask me. I’ll tell you more about them.

  I have to get closer, so I stretch out and put my paws on the table. The chair is too far away and I thump to the floor. A tuna-smelling fart fills the room. Hey, I planned this. Yup, the floor is the place for a dog. I put my head on my paws

  Auntie Heather waves her hands to make my perfume go away. She says to Karly, “We need to work with your ability to judge age better.” She mutters, “Of course, to you everything is old, especially me.” She is old. “It’s harder to get the age of bones when they are this weathered unless the ghost is still around. Why don’t you have George ask if he has any ghostly friends?” She drops her eyes to me lying on her feet. “Dogs often do. The energy feels less than a century to me. I’m thinking you have to do this the mundane way: research.”

  I raise my head and roll my eyes at her. She knows that ghosts don’t like to hang around if they don’t have to. They’re only bits of Peeps. Besides, I would’ve told her already. Maybe I can talk to other ghosts.

  Auntie Heather checks her watch. It didn’t feel like we’d spent very much time, but it’s already dark and I’m tired and hungry—we were out here for years.

  “Help me put these things away and you can help me make dinner. I’ll call your mom and then we can talk some more while we eat.” She looks at her watch again. “Actually, I want to do some research. Would you mind terribly if I gave you a rain check and you can stay over another night? It’s way too late to have Joey come over. Maybe next week.”

  I grin at that. I am not fond of The Creep. Karly puts up with him, but me, not so much. He likes to tease me by offering me food and eating it himself. He creeps on the floor and pokes me when I sleep. Creep is a good name for him. He also likes to tag along wherever we go.

  Karly looks a little sad, but perks back up. “’Kay, maybe tomorrow? Oh, and remember, next week is Mom and Dad’s anniversary. Bet they’d like a night away for a present.”

  Karly, why did you have to say that? I groan and roll my eyes, thunking my head down on Auntie Heather’s feet. She gives me a look and pulls them from under me.

  “I totally forgot. What a lovely idea! Their anniversary is what, Thursday? You two could sleep over. I’ll call your mom and get everything settled after we’re done cleaning up.”

  “What should I do about the bones?” Karly asks as she piles them in a box Auntie Heather hands her.

  “Oh, just put them on the mantle in the living room,” she says, carrying the larger pieces of crystal into the big stone den.

  I like it.

  If it didn’t have huge windows, it’d be as good as a cave.

  “No—” the door slams shut before Karly can finish her sentence. I get up, stretch, sit on Karly’s foot, and thump my tail on the floor. She pushes me out of her mind.

  I wrinkle my forehead and give her my patented ‘Is it time to eat yet?’ look.

  “What?”

  I just thump my tail harder. She slides her feet out and moves to the house.

  “If you’re worrying about dinner, I’m sure Auntie Heather has something for you to eat. Heck, she cooks for you. I’m surprised you don’t come here every day.”

  “Arooo.” I bolt for the door, moving in a rolling trot. I use my thick claws to scratch at the door. Auntie Heather needs to put a dog door in—the new scratches match the older marks I’ve made.

  “George, really! Auntie Heather is going to have to replace the door if you trash it.”

  I look over my shoulder and pull my lips back into a full toothy grin. Joey thinks it’s a snarl, but my Girlpup knows better.

  She shakes her head. “I bet you think you’re signing your work.” She balances the box against the wall and pulls the door open. I squeeze by and nearly trip her. When I turn to check on my Girlpup, she narrows her eyes at me.

  “Did you trip me in the park on purpose?

  Uh-oh—busted. I present my rump and go into the house.

  Karly follows me up the stairs. The living room is on one side. The important room is on the other. Karly goes into the living room. Sigh. The bones should be in the important room, where the food is made. She puts the bones away. Auntie Heather walks into the room, talking on the phone.

  “Doreen, it’s fine. I love having Karly here. She did great today. Oh, George and Karly found something interesting in the park. We’re still doing some research, but it’s very exciting. No, not sure about it yet. That’s what makes it exciting. Yes, yes… I’ll have her home right after dinner…Oh, I also have the herbs you wanted. I’ll send them with her…Love you. Bye.”

  Auntie Heather turns to where my Girlpup is standing. “Bring in the rest of the stones and put them on top of the cabinet in the living room. I’ll sort them later. Would you mind leftovers? I have stew or chili.”

  Yum! Both are nummy.

  “Stew, please. What’s George going to eat?”

  At the same time they both say, “Not Chili!”

  Oh, they think it’s funny I am starving to death, do they? I go to the kitchen, walk to the fridge, and beat the seal with my paw. It pops open and I grab a bowl between my jaws. Auntie Heather is behind me and swipes it back. “Enough, George. You can have some of the stew, not all of it.”

  Chapter Three

  Did I eat? I can’t remember. My stomach growls. Where’s my food? I smell stew, though there is none in my bowl. I stare up at Auntie Heather sitting at the kitchen table with Karly. She just laughs and ruffles my ears.

  “Sorry, big guy, you’ve had enough. If you eat much more, you won’t be able to get through the door. Karly, how much have you been feeding George? He’s getting pudgy.”

  What? I am in perfect shape. I swing my butt around, aim, and let one rip.

  Pfffffffffft.

  The scent breezes around me. It’s delicate and earthy. I have graced them with one of my better ones.

  “Auntie Heather! Did you give him the chili? Oh, peanut butter and jelly. No!” Karly gets up and races to open the windows. I sit, not understanding the Peeps’ reaction to my gift. I will never understand them. My Girlpup collects the plates from the table. What is she doing? Is she rinsing them in the sink?


  No!

  Mine!

  Don’t waste the goodness! “Nooaroooooo!”

  “So where do I start researching? Missing persons pictures on old milk cartons? Find a ghost?” That’s funny. I find ghosts. Karly doesn’t see them.

  Re-search?

  Did we search before?

  I sit on Auntie Heather’s foot. I will stare at her until she remembers they forgot to feed me. I drool on her foot. Strands stick to her shoe. She pulls her foot out.

  Fine.

  I stretch next to the table.

  “I don’t think milk carton pictures go back a century. There are a few finding spells we can perform if there are any possessions left from the person. Why don’t you search the Internet? There might be some old newspapers that were put online.”

  “Were there newspapers back then?” Karly puts the last dish in the dish drainer. I clean dishes better than she does. She didn’t even share them.

  “Yes, child, there were newspapers back then.” Auntie Heather’s snort makes some loose fur dance in the air. Papers are always around. Where else would puppies potty? A blob of something lands next to my head. I snap it up.

  Hack.

  Yuck.

  A piece of clean napkin. Why not drop a used one? Those are tasty. I smell another piece. It is used. I suck it into my mouth.

  “George, don’t eat that,” Karly says in a ‘little kid trying to command me’ voice. Hah, like that ever works. I clamp my teeth. “Give, George. You’ll choke!”

  I bite down, hard. She will give in. She will…

  Auntie Heather drops a piece of tuna fudge in front of me. I drop the napkin and scarf the treat down. Bait and switch always works.

  Back to re-search. I think ghosts can help. If Karly asks me nicely, I will do that for her. She seems to think it’s better to yell at me to do what she wants.

  Silly little Peep.

  I hear chittering. Roquefort, Auntie Heather’s raccoon familiar, struts in, like he owns the place.

  Oh.