Face Time

by S. J. Pajonas

  “Laura, darling,” her mother starts, her voice saccharine, “where are you going?”

  “She’s coming with me,” I interrupt. I selfishly don’t want Laura’s mother to know anything. She doesn’t care about Laura, but Laura holds out hope that her mother still cares about her. “I’ll have Laura send you a postcard.”

  I open the door for her.

  “Where should I go? This is technically my home, you know.”

  “Go to Aunt Sally’s,” Laura says, her hand on her hip. “I’ll drop all the keys in the mailbox when I leave.”

  Once her mother is in the hallway, I close the door on her displeased face and lock the deadbolt.

  “Lee,” Laura whispers. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I know.” I shrug my shoulders and smile at her, and she smiles back.

  “It was super smooth. If I had tried it, she would have pulled some guilt trip like she always does.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here then.”

  She shakes her head in disbelief and laughs. “Let’s go out and celebrate. And you better put some clothes on or we’re not going anywhere.”

  (>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

  Dad, Laura, and I are watching a Mariner’s game at the park, drinking beer, and laughing. The crowd around us is talking and happy, enjoying a rare sunny and beautiful day in Seattle. A round of applause breaks out as a batter steps up to home plate, and the pitcher cranks back his arm.

  “I’m glad we all got to do this together,” Laura says touching my father’s arm, and he smiles at her from under his dark blue baseball cap. “I’ve never been to a baseball game. Are you having fun Lee?” She leans over, her gaze directed down at seven-year-old me. I’m not drinking a beer. I have a soda in one hand and popcorn in the other. A few drops of rain land on me, little circles darkening my jeans, and when I look up, the sky has clouded over, thunder rumbling across the grass. I’m alone, in a downpour…

  Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.

  Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt…

  I open my eyes and take a moment to figure out where the hell I am. I’m not in Seoul, not in Mumbai. Laura’s warm body stirs next to me, and I sigh in relief. I’m in Laura’s bed in New York. We had a long and lovely dinner together, her friends Justin and Nicole showed up for drinks, and we talked until eleven when I was so tired I thought I would fall over and die. We came back to her place and passed out without even having sex. I regret that. I roll over and slip my hand over her body to rouse her, but my phone buzzes on the nightstand next to me.

  That’s why I’m awake. I grab the phone, and my mother’s name is on the screen.

  “Hi, Mom. Is everything okay?” I sit up quietly in bed, but Laura wakes and pushes herself up. My mother never calls me. Only my father calls, and she chimes in if she feels like it. Our relationship has always been like that. “Oh, hi, Lee. Let me get your father…”

  “Lee, son, I call with bad news.” Her voice is shaking. No. My mother’s voice doesn’t shake. “Dad died of a heart attack earlier today. There was nothing that could be done. He passed away in his car sitting at the golf club.”

  “I’m sorry, what? Dad? No,” I whisper. I glance around Laura’s room, hoping this is all a dream. She must hear the urgency in my voice because she reaches over and flips on the light. The clock next to the bed reads 2:13am.

  A crackling erupts over the line, and I pull the phone away so as not to deafen myself. I still don’t understand.

  “Lee? Lee? It’s Jin. We need you to come back to Seattle. Can you get a flight home today?”

  “I... Uhhhh…” I rub my face with my free hand and pinch the bridge of my nose. I may still be drunk. This may be a hallucination. “What? Dad’s not dead. He just retired.”

  Jin sighs on the other end. “Lee,” he yells into the phone, and I jump startling Laura. “I’m sorry to have to call you like this. Dad loved you. He’d want you to be here for the funeral.”

  “I’ll call you back.” I don’t even say goodbye. I just hang up, and I look at my phone again to make sure the call was real.

  It was.

  “Lee? What’s wrong?” Laura asks, slipping on a pair of glasses.

  “My dad is dead?” My dad is not dead. I don’t believe it. I pick up the phone and call back. “Is this a joke? Because it’s not funny. Not at all.”

  Jin sighs again. “No, Lee. He died in his car sometime during the day. He went to play a round of golf and was found some hours later when he never arrived. The doctors said it was quick. They’ll do an autopsy, but he’ll be released to us in two days for cremation.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll get on the first flight I can in the morning.”

  “You sound like you were sleeping, Lee? Isn’t it the middle of the day in Seoul?”

  “I’m not in Seoul. I’m in New York with my girlfriend. Dad didn’t tell you? I just talked to him.” Just made plans with him for the summer and told him I’d introduce him to Laura. This can’t be happening.

  “No, he didn’t. We’ll see you tomorrow. Call me when you get in.”

  “Okay.”

  The phone call ends, and my life dissolves to a simulacrum of grainy black and white detachment.

  Chapter

  Thirty-One

  =

  Laura

  “Thanks for the first class flight, Lee. That was nice. I’ve never flown first class before.” I look over at him driving the car from the airport and try not to cry.

  “You’re welcome. I never fly anything but first class anymore. It’s the deal through work. If I’m going spend all my time traveling, they better make it easy on me. I booked us in a beautiful hotel downtown. You’ll love it.”

  I try to smile at Lee but my lips only jerk upward for a second. Even though, his words are positive, he’s sad and distant. We had just made it through all my past drama, kicked my mother back out of the apartment, and he had met some of my friends before this happened. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves peace and easiness. He deserved a stress-free week in New York. I wanted him to meet Theresa. I wanted to spend a few days with him, walking the city, eating out and talking, making love at every available opportunity. Why can’t we catch a break?

  Lee’s shoulders are up around his neck and his eyes are red. We never went back to sleep after his brother called. He helped me pack the last of my things in my apartment, stack all the boxes by the wall in the living room, and then he showered while I packed my bag before our flight. I’m not sure if he slept on the plane. I fell asleep an hour after take-off with my hand in his, but when I woke up he was in the same position he was before, staring into space with a drink in his hand. We’ve both been through hell these last few days. I’ll try my best to ease some of his suffering.

  “Okay.” I smile and look out the car window at Seattle. “I’ve never been to Seattle or the Pacific Northwest. I hear it’s beautiful. Kind of hard to tell now in the rain, though.”

  “Get used to it, Laura. I doubt the sky will clear while you’re here.”

  “I should buy an umbrella. I didn’t pack one.”

  “No one here uses an umbrella unless it’s pouring down rain which almost never happens anyway.”

  “Good. I had to make sure there was room in my bag for other important things.”

  He clears his throat. “Should I even ask?”

  “The person working the x-ray machine got an eyeful, I assure you.” I did not pack the wand, nor the rabbit, but I packed a small traveling vibrator. Just in case. You never know.

  “Lee, pay attention to the road,” I say, reaching over and pointing his face forward again.

  “Laura, you’re evil.”

  “I know.” I examine my nails for comedic effect, but Lee’s smile is nonexistent. “I’ll miss my computer. I have no idea how I’ll get my photos off my camera.” I shrug my shoulders. “But I’ll figure things out eventually.”

  The car is silent as we swiftly move through traffic, Lee changing lanes and keeping
the wipers at full-tilt.

  “I’m glad you’re here with me, Laura.” Lee reaches over and holds my hand.

  “Me too.”

  The Inn at the Market is the only hotel in the Pike Place Market, well-known for its flying fish and artisanal items. From our room, we can stare out at the sound and the Olympic Mountains in the distance. Lee walks in, hangs his suits up in the closet, and empties his kit into the bathroom, lining up items along the sink. A master traveler.

  “I don’t want to rush you, Laura, but I spoke with Jin earlier while you were in the bathroom at the airport, and my father’s body is being released to us tonight. The wake is all day tomorrow followed by the cremation. On Sunday, there’ll be a smaller dinner at my family’s house.”

  “Okay, Lee.” I exit the bathroom, and he’s staring out the window at the water. “I can be with you, night and day, if that’ll help.” I reach around his waist and kiss him under his chin.

  “I can’t believe he’s gone.” Lee’s voice breaks, and I squeeze him even harder as he rests his head on top of mine. “The last time we talked he said he wanted to meet you, that I should bring you to Seattle and show you around. He wanted me to get a hotel in the city and stay with you instead of staying at home. It’s the first time he’s ever suggested it.” He kisses me on top of my head. “I’m more in love with you than any other woman I’ve been with, and he could tell without me having to say anything.”

  My heart is so confused. It’s sad for Lee and his loss. It’s happy for us both, that we found each other. It’s excited to be on this journey with him. It’s sad again to be here under such circumstances.

  “Can I suggest something, Lee? Today is going to be personal for you and your family. They don’t know me yet, and I’m sure they’ll feel like I’m an intruding stranger. Why don’t we take a nap and you can go deal with this? Tomorrow, I’ll meet everyone at the wake, and I’ll stay with you as long as you need me. Okay?”

  He nods his head against mine, so I pull him away from the window, closing the blinds and turning off all the lights but the bedside lamps. Lee yawns, his whole body curling, so tired he might fall over. He opens the door, moves the “Do Not Disturb” sign to the outside, and closes it, clicking the deadbolt behind him.

  “I’m worried you’ll be lonely here without me.” He takes off his shoes, socks, and pants, only boxer shorts on with his shirt, and I have to stop staring. If circumstances were different, I’d strip him naked right now.

  “Lee, the world is my oyster. And, I hear the seafood is excellent in Seattle, so I’ll take myself out to dinner and shopping, and I’ll see you back here later.”

  We pull the covers back and climb in, each setting our phones for ninety minutes of sleep. We naturally gravitate to our sides of the bed, but Lee pulls me close to him, my back against his chest, my feet between his, and his lips on my neck.

  “I love you, Laura,” he whispers, sleepily. I run my feet over his a few times, cementing the reality he’s next to me, not half a world away. We’ve only been together for a day, and it still not real.

  He drags his nose across the back of my neck and breathes in deep. I just want to love him. I want the time to love him and be a real couple. Why does it seem like that time will never come?

  “I love you, Lee. Go to sleep.”

  (>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

  Lee wakes in a blur ninety minutes later, but I didn’t fall asleep. I just laid still and absorbed him. I’m the biggest life fuck up, and he’s accomplished, a high-powered lawyer traveling the world. He comes from a strong, successful family, and mine is so far from. We couldn’t be more different. But then I thought back on every FaceTime conversation, every text, every call, and how perfect we are for each other. We make each other laugh and smile. We comfort each other. We’re well-matched. I don’t know why, but sometimes he intimidates me with his success because it seems super-human to be this put together.

  Lee rolls over on top of me, slips his hands under my arms, and hovers over me. “Hello, gorgeous.” He has a sleepy smile, and, from the weight of him, I can feel his hard-on pushing into my stomach. Mmmm.

  “Hi,” I respond, arching my back and raising my face to his for a kiss. He settles his weight down on me, and it’s so good to have him on top of me even with the layers of clothes between us. I open my mouth and let this kiss deepen, pressing my hands along the side of his body, up over his shoulders to his hair, which I grab tight.

  “Oh shit,” he groans, separating his lips from mine. I’m delirious with the imminence of sex. We’ve only had sex three times now, and it wasn’t enough. There are still secrets I want to unearth about Lee. We completely skipped missionary sex which I love, sex from behind, sex on the floor…

  “Laura, I… Shit, I have to go.” But he kisses me again anyway. I bring my legs up and wrap them around him, slip my hands into his boxers, and grab his ass. Oh god, I love it. I tickle my fingers down the backs of his thighs, and he pulls away, gasping.

  “Don’t do that or else we’ll never leave here.” He laughs and sits up to look down at me, my skirt up around my waist. I inch it back down with a mischievous smile.

  “I’m going to have to change my underwear before we leave.” I pull my legs out from under him and launch off the bed, but Lee sits motionless before crumpling forward into the spot I just was. He screams an animal-like noise into the pillow, and I silently smile. Teasing him is a lot of fun.

  Up Stewart Street is a coffee shop (of course, it is Seattle, after all) where we both fuel up to make it through the afternoon. We grab two seats next to each other right at the window. Rain falls steady but people walk around the market with their hoods up. Cars whiz by on Second Street, and the sound of their tires on the wet pavement is making me sleepy again. This coffee better work fast.

  “It’s really okay that I leave you here?” Lee seems unable to let me go, which deep down I love.

  “I’ll be fine, Lee. I love traveling, and I can’t wait to explore the city. I’ll pull out my iPhone and figure everything out. Don’t worry.”

  He held my hand all the way here and now reaches over to touch my hair and play with the ends. “I love how different you are than anyone else I’ve ever known.”

  “I think that’s good for us both, Lee. We’ve both not been happy with the ‘same old, same old.’ I’m surprised you never told me about Sarah before yesterday, though. I had the impression you only dated Korean girls before me.”

  He takes a sip of coffee and nods his head side to side. “I don’t like to think hard or dwell on my mistakes, and neither should you. Laura, what made you want to talk to me that night at the Algonquin? I’ve sat next to countless women in countless bars and never once clicked like that with anyone.”

  I close my eyes and think back. My flirting was impulsive, and I didn’t mean for it to go anywhere. I thought I’d walk out of the hotel and never see him again.

  “It was your laugh. If you had been a different man, you may have called me a bitch for laying into you like that. Wouldn’t be the first time that’s ever happened to me…”

  He tenses up, so I squeeze his arm.

  “But you put me at ease right away by being you. And now…” I tap the bar in front of us. “We’ve only been in each other’s presence, what? Thirty-six hours total? But you’ve paid more attention to me than any boyfriend I’ve ever had. Even Rene. It took forever for me to convince him I was worth setting time aside for, but you do it so easily.”

  Lee turns his face from me and stares out the window. “I don’t understand him at all. In fact, I want you to forget him. Forget him forever.”

  “I wish I could open my brain and take him out, like he never existed.” I sip and think, remembering and then trying to forget. “Oh, like Total Recall. Go into a place and — zip — have him erased.”

  Lee laughs at me.

  “See? I was thinking that’d make a great dystopian book, and it’s already been done. All the good ideas are taken
.”

  “You’re so random sometimes.” He seems bewildered but bemused. I’ll take it. “Let’s make our own memories instead. It sounds safer.”

  “Okay.” I slip my arm across his back and lean over so my face is inches from his, close my eyes tight and blink. “I just captured this fantastic moment, with your messy hair, and your intense eyes, and the rain falling outside, and two cups of coffee, and me by your side. Now, all the other memories fade away a little more.”

  Leaning over even farther, I kiss him on the cheek, and he closes his eyes and leans into it.

  “Go take care of your father, Lee. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

  Chapter

  Thirty-Two

  =

  Lee

  My family irritates the hell out of me. I arrive at the funeral home on time, but they are already sitting and waiting, dressed in black, smudged prints all over the front hallway from their wet shoes. Mimi, Jin’s wife, immediately breaks off from the group to give me a hug.

  “Jin told your mother about your girlfriend,” she whispers in my ear. “She’s not happy. I’m sorry,”

  “It’s okay.” They would have found out soon anyway. “Will you look out for her tomorrow?” I’ll have things to attend as a son of the deceased, and I need to make sure Laura is cared for somehow. Mimi nods in response.

  Jin hangs back, and I try not to squirm under his stare. He’s always been the most intimidating member of the family, right after my mother. He’s tall, just shy of six foot two, and he inherited the more rigid bone structure from my mother plus dad’s early gray hair. We’ve always gotten along though. I hope he’s not angry with me.

  “Jin,” I say, nodding and clasping him on the shoulder. “Is Dad here?”