Everybody Curses, I Swear!
Page 53
vagina
in book, television, and song titles
and conversations and interviews
rotting donkey vagina
vaginal rejuvenation
vaginal steam
vaginal virtuoso
tiny vagina
whale’s vagina
va-jeen
verbal-gangbang-jacuzzi-joust
verbo-nuclear device
vertical smile
vibrator
hand-crank vibrator
steam-powered vibrator
ribbed rabbit vibrator
vurping
walking magic trick
wang
wank
wanker
war of the golden stool
weed
ween
whale’s vagina
wheatgrass enema
where the monkey put the whistle
white elephants
whore
and conversations and interviews
as curse
as expletive and exclamation
hos
whorehouse
wicked weasel
wilfs
xanax
yak-shaving
yam bag
yogurt slinger
zeppelins
zoo fetishist
Zoosexual
zoophile
CELEBRITY INDEX
The index that appeared in the print version of this title does not match the pages in your e-book. Please use the search function on your e-reading device to search for terms of interest. For your reference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below.
Abrams, J. J.
Affleck, Ben
Akon
Alazraqui, Carlos
Allen, Woody
Alterman, Ira
Anderson, Gillian
Aniston, Jennifer
Ann-Margret
Apatow, Judd
apl.de.ap
Armogida, Beth
Asner, Ed
Astaire, Fred
Auslander, Lauren
Azalea, Iggy
Bach, Sebastian
Bacon, Kevin
Baldwin, Alec
Bale, Christian
Ball, Lucille
Bana, Eric
Banderas, Antonio
Banks, Elizabeth
Barr, Roseanne
Barrymore, Drew
Bashō, Matsuo
Beatty, Warren
Behrs, Beth
Bell, Jamie
Berry, Halle
Bettany, Paul
Beyoncé
Biel, Jessica
Bilson, Rachel
Birdsong, Mary
Black, Jack
Black, Lewis
Black Eyed Peas, The
Blanchett, Cate
Braga, Brannon
Brand, Russell
Bridges, Jeff
Broken Lizard
Brolin, James
Brooks, Mel
Bruce, Lenny
Bryant, Joy
Bullock, Sandra
Burgess, Frank Gelett
Burton, Tim
Butler, Gerard
Cage, Nicolas
Cameron, James
Campbell, Bruce
Campbell, Luther
Carell, Steve
Carlin, George
Carson, Johnny
Cavill, Henry
Cedric the Entertainer
Cera, Michael
Chaplin, Charlie
Charles, Ray
Cher
Chevalier, Maurice
Childers, Brie
Cho, Margaret
Chopra, Deepak
Christensen, Hayden
Clooney, Amal
Clooney, George
Cobra Starship
Cohen, Sacha Baron
Collins, Clifton, Jr.
Collins, Jackie
Connolly, Kevin
Coogan, Steve
Cook, Dane
Cooper, Bradley
Corddry, Rob
Cosby, Bill
Costner, Kevin
Covert, Allen
Cowell, Simon
Cox, Courteney
Craig, Daniel
Credible, Justin
Crew, Amanda
Crosby, Bing
Cruise, Tom
Crystal Method, The
Cuban, Mark
Culkin, Macaulay
Cuoco, Kaley
Cyrus, Miley
Czuchry, Matt
Damon, Matt
Dauman, Philippe
David, Larry
del Toro, Guillermo
Dennings, Kat
DeVille, C. C.
Diamond, Neil
Diaz, Cameron
DiCaprio, Leonardo
Doohan, James
Dorff, Stephen
Douglas, Michael
Downey, Robert, Jr.
Duchovny, David
Duke, Clark
Duncan, Michael Clarke
Dunham, Lena
Dunn, Ryan
Dunst, Kirsten
Duran Duran
Dylan, Bob
Elba, Idris
Elliott, Missy
Emmanuel, Ari
Epps, Mike
Erna, Sully
Escher, M. C.
Evans, Chris
Facinelli, Peter
Falk, Peter
Fallon, Jimmy
Faris, Anna
Farley, Chris
Farrell, Colin
Fergie
Ferrell, Will
Finch
Firestone, Shark
Firth, Colin
Fisher, Carrie
Fogle, Jared
Fonda, Jane
Ford, Harrison
Foster, Ben
Foster, Jodie
Fox, Megan
Franco, James
Frost, Nick
Fuqua, Antoine
Galifianakis, Zach
Garant, Robert Ben
Garfield, Andrew
Gass, Kyle
German, Lauren
Gervais, Ricky
Gilliam, Terry
Goldberg, Evan
Goldblum, Jeff
Goode, Matthew
Goyer, David S.
Grace, Topher
Graham, Heather
Grant, Clare
Green, Seth
Green, Tom
Greene, Ashley
Greenwood, Bruce
Greer, Germaine
Greer, Judy
Gregson-Williams, Harry
Griffin, Eddie
Grose, Francis
Guest, Christopher
Gugino, Carla
Haden-Church, Thomas
Hamidi, Natasha
Hamm, Jon
Handler, Chelsea
Hardwicke, Catherine
Harrelson, Woody
Harris, Neil Patrick
Hart, Mary
Hefner, Hugh
Heigl, Katherine
Helfer, Tricia
Helms, Ed
Hemsworth, Chris
Hendricks, Christina
Henson, Taraji P.
Hiddleston, Tom
Hill, Benny
Hill, Jonah
Hilton, Paris
Hilton, Perez
Hoffman, Dustin
Horan, Niall
Horwitz, Leah
Hough, Julianne
Howard, Bryce Dallas
Hudson, Kate
Hunnam, Charlie
Hutcherson, Josh
Irons, Jeremy
Jackson, Janet
Jackson, Michael
Jackson, Peter
Jackson, Samuel L.
Ja Rule
Jay Z
Jenner, Kris
Jeong, Ken
Jeremy, Ron
Jillette, Penn
Johansson, Scarlett
Johnny Clegg & Savuka
Jo
hnson, Dwayne “The Rock”
Johnson, Graham
Johnson, Jack
Jones, Rashida
Jones, Tommy Lee
Jordanova, Vera
Kardashian, Kim
Katzenberg, Jeffrey
Kaufman, Andy
Kennedy, Robert F., Jr.
Kenney-Silver, Kerri
Keys, Alicia
Kidman, Nicole
King, Stephen
Kinison, Sam
KISS
Kitaen, Tawny
Knight, Wayne
Knoxville, Johnny
Koechner, David
Kourosh Taj
Kramer, Eddie
Kravitz, Lenny
Kubrick, Stanley
Kunis, Mila
Kwanten, Ryan
Lacey, Preston
Landau, Martin
Lange, Artie
Larry the Cable Guy
Lautner, Taylor
Lawrence, Jennifer
Lawrence, Martin
Leary, Denis
Ledger, Heath
Lee, Christopher
Leggero, Natasha
Lemmy
Lennon, Tom
Leonard, Sugar Ray
Leto, Jared
Letterman, David
Levi, Zachary
Levy, Eugene
Lewinsky, Monica
Lewis, Jerry
Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
Long, Justin
Lopez, Jennifer
Lucas, George
Ludacris
Lugosi, Bela
Lutz, Kellan
Lynch, Jane
Mabley, Jackie “Moms”
McAdams, Rachel
McCarthy, Melissa
McCartney, Paul
McConaughey, Matthew
McGhehey, Ehren
McGowan, Rose
McGregor, Ewan
McKean, Michael
Mackie, Anthony
MacLaine, Shirley
Madonna
Malone, Colin
Manilow, Barry
Manning, Eli
Margera, Bam
Martin, Dean
Marx, Karl
Marx, Richard
Meraz, Alex
Meyer, Ron
Meyer, Stephenie
Meyers, Jerry
Michaels, Bret
Miller, Henry
Minaj, Nicki
Mintz-Plasse, Christopher
Momoa, Jason
Monaco, Kara
Mo’Nique
Monroe, Marilyn
Moore, Demi
Moore, Mandy
Moretz, Chloe
Mortimer, Emily
Murphy, Eddie
Muscio, Inga
Myers, Mike
Neeson, Liam
Nelly
New Found Glory
Newton-John, Olivia
Nicholson, Jack
Nickelback
Nile, Willie
Nixon, Richard
Nolan, Christopher
Norris, Chuck
Oldman, Gary
Olmos, Edward James
Ono, Yoko
Ore, Michael
O’Reilly, Bill
Owens, Quentin
Padalecki, Jared
Palahniuk, Chuck
Paltrow, Gwyneth
Panettiere, Hayden
Pantera
Parker, Trey
Patel, Amul
Pattinson, Robert
Patton, Mike
Pegg, Simon
Pelletier, Bronson
Perry, Matthew
Pfeiffer, Michelle
Phantom, Slim Jim
Phillips, Bijou
Phillips, Todd
Phoenix, Joaquin
Phoenix, River
Pine, Chris
Piper, Roddy
Pitt, Brad
Piven, Jeremy
Platt, Oliver
Plaza, Aubrey
Poison
Pollock, Jackson
Pontius, Chris
Posey, Parker
Pratt, Chris
Preston, Kelly
Prince
Provenza, Paul
Pryor, Richard
Pudi, Danny
Queen Latifah
Queens of the Stone Age
Quinto, Zachary
Ray J
Reaser, Elizabeth
Reed, Nikki
Reeves, Keanu
Renner, Jeremy
Reynolds, Ryan
Rice, Anne
Richardson, Natasha
Rihanna
Ritchie, Guy
Rivers, Joan
Roberts, Julia
Robinson, Craig
Rock, Chris
Rodriguez, Robert
Rogen, Seth
Rogers, Ginger
Roker, Al
Roman, Freddie
Rooney, Mickey
Roosevelt, Eleanor
Rose, Charlie
Ross, Jeffrey
Rousey, Ronda
Rudd, Paul
Ryan, Meg
Saget, Bob
Saldana, Zoe
Salinger, J. D.
Samberg, Andy
Sandler, Adam
Schneider, Rob
Schumacher, Joel
Schumer, Amy
Scorsese, Martin
Scott, Ridley
Scott, Sean William
Seagal, Steven
Segel, Jason
Shaggy
Shakespeare, William
Shatner, William
Shearer, Harry
Shedd, Charlie
Sheen, Michael
Sheila E.
Silverman, Sarah
Simmons, Gene
Siouxsie and the Banshees
Smith, Kevin
Smith, Will
Snyder, Zack
Somerhalder, Ian
Something Corporate
Sorkin, Aaron
Spears, Britney
Spencer, Chaske
Spruill, Beth
Stallone, Sylvester
Stamos, John
Steinem, Gloria
Stern, Howard
Stewart, Jermaine
Stewart, Kristen
Stiller, Ben
Sting
Stone, Emma
Stone, Matt
Stroscher, Ken
Strug, Kerri
Sutherland, Donald
Swayze, Patrick
Taboo
Tarantino, Quentin
Taylor-Johnson, Aaron
Tenacious D
Theron, Charlize
Thicke, Alan
Thurman, Uma
Timberlake, Justin
Tolkien, J. R. R.
Toth, Jim
Toto
Travolta, John
Tremaine, Jeff
Trump, Donald
Urban, Karl
Usher
Vicious, Sid
Voight, Jon
Voltaire
Wahlberg, Mark
Waits, Tom
Walden, W. G. “Snuffy”
Walker, Paul
Walters, Barbara
Ward, Rachel
Warrant
Washington, Denzel
Washington, Kerry
Weitz, Chris
Welk, Lawrence
Welsh, Irvine
West, Kanye
Whedon, Joss
Whitesnake
Wilde, Olivia
Will.i.am
Williams, Pharrell
Williams, Robbie
Williams, Robin
Willis, Bruce
Wilson, Patrick
Winfrey, Oprah
Winston, Stan
Wood, Evan Rachel
Woodley, Shailene
Worthington, Sam
Wright, Edgar
Wright, Gary
Xzibit
Yarbrough, Cedric
Zellweger, Renée
Zimmer, Hans
Zombie, Rob
Zuckerberg, Mark
Zuckerman, Josh
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Talk-show host, actress, comedienne, producer, and entrepreneur CARRIE KEAGAN made her splashy debut online as one of the first YouTube sensations and has since gone on to become one of television’s most-sought-after personalities. She was host and producer of VH1’s Emmy Award–winning live daily morning talk show Big Morning Buzz Live with Carrie Keagan, and in January 2017, she’ll join the new season of NBC’s The New Celebrity Apprentice, hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Keagan is also the cofounder of the Leading entertainment digital network NO GOOD TV, where her uncensored interviews with some of the biggest stars in the world have amassed more than two billion views online, affectionately earning her the nickname “The Naughty Critic.” She’s hosted live red-carpet shows for the Emmys, Golden Globes, and Oscars for a variety of networks and has been a frequent guest on Wendy Williams, The Talk, Rachael Ray, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Chelsea Lately, and G4’s Attack of the Show. She’s a special correspondent for Extra and The Insider and a guest contributor to the Steve Harvey Show. Carrie is a stern advocate for the Humane Society of the United States. Follow her on social media at @CarrieKeagan. You can sign up for email updates here
DIBS BAER is a Los Angeles–based entertainment journalist and the author and coauthor of five books, including the New York Times bestseller I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. Fuck You Grandma!
2. A Tale of Two Titties
3. A Twist in the Road
4. Glory, Glory, Ho-Le-Luyah!
5. It’s All about the Cock!
6. Putting the F-U Back into Fun
7. Prison Rules
Epilogue
8. More “Fuck Yeah” Than “Fuck You”
9. When I’m Good, I’m Good, When I’m No Good, I’m Better
10. Between Sasquatch’s Nutsack and Hobson’s Choice
11. Fuck Mickey Mouse!
12. The Lap Dance
13. America vs. the Foreign Cunt
14. The Silent Fuck
15. A Kick in the Cunt
16. Geekgasms and the Infinite Pre-Clapulation
17. Of All the Stupid Things
Designer Blowjobs
A Fucking M&M
Paid by the Fuck
Number of Nothing to Encode
Epilogue
18. You Gotta Stand Up to Get Down
19. Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned!
20. The Emancipation Dicklamation