Delayed Offsides

by Shey Stahl

  Callie Pratt

  Long Change - In the second period, the goaltenders change ends, meaning that the players' bench is closer to the offensive zone rather than the defensive zone. The “long change” can be a factor when a tired line is stuck in the defensive zone and cannot come off due to the increased distance to the bench.

  Something had definitely changed in Leo. It had a lot to do with them being knocked out of the playoffs by the Canucks. These boys live to win games and when they don’t, naturally they take it hard.

  I’ve known Leo for years and I had come to realize it was the offseason that changed him. Made him moody.

  “What do you think is wrong with him?” Ami asked, chewing her orange chicken slowly as we sat on my bed eating take out, her other hand on my stomach trying to feel the baby moving.

  “I’m not sure…maybe he’s not ready to be a dad. When I showed him the picture of the ultrasound, he stared at it for like twenty minutes.”

  “He never kicks for me.” Ami frowned removing her hand. “I’m sure he’ll come around to it. I mean, he has to. He’s having a little baby boy!”

  “I don’t know, Ami, I guess I’m scared. I’m that girl who contemplated dating a pharmaceutical rep for free drugs. I’m obviously not ready to be a mother. And Leo…he doesn’t want to be a dad. It’s all scary for me to think about. When he felt the baby kick for the first time he had this deer in the headlights look immediately after realizing that’s what it was, like he was about to run as far away from us as he could.”

  “Don’t overreact.” She was trying to keep me calm and I understood that because it seemed lately I was quick to jump to conclusions. I wasn’t myself at all. I blamed the hormones.

  When I shifted on the bed reaching for my root beer, my crotch burned from the waxing episode I had. “I don’t know what’s come over me but I’m obsessed with making sure it’s all nice and clean down there.” I admitted feeling like I could talk to her about this sort of thing. “I burned the epic shit out of my pussy trying to wax it.”

  Ami laughed and then gave me a look like maybe she didn’t hear me correctly. “What?”

  “It’s not funny.”

  “Oh, yes it is.”

  And then as casually as I could, I said, “I bleached my asshole, too.”

  She was all ears after that. “Does that work because I’m very curious about that?”

  “Frankly, I think it looks great.”

  “Have you told Leo?”

  “He saw the other day,” I winked at her taking a bite of my rice. “He seemed to think it was cool.”

  “So everything is still good on the lovin’ part?”

  “Well, yeah,” I set the container on my lap, twirling my chopsticks in one hand and staring at them as I spoke. “We still have sex…It’s just his mind is elsewhere. I think part of his problem is that Jeff Walker was traded back to the Blackhawks.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. They announced it today.”

  “Wow.” Ami didn’t understand a lot about the politics involved in hockey but even she understood what a trade like this meant. “He’s a center, right?”

  “Yep. He was the starting center until he left and they brought on Leo.”

  “Why would they do that if they already have Leo?”

  “If I know my dad, it’s because he’s wanting to put pressure on Leo. More than likely he’s gonna keep him on the first line and have Walker play the second line, but it’s not any easier on Leo knowing that.”

  “That’s not very nice of your dad, Callie.” Ami gave me this look like she was upset with him, her brow scrunched.

  “He’s a dick. You can say it.”

  She wouldn’t. Probably never would. “Alright, enough hockey,” her eyes lit up, “let’s talk baby showers.”

  And so we did. Bethany, my boss, gave me tons of samples of lotions and body sprays to give away to the girls who came. I pulled out the box she got and Ami and I started making gift bags for everyone. I wanted something small, around ten people because I really didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

  What I wanted more than anything was Leo to be okay with everything. The closer it got to the baby being born, the more distant he became.

  Leo Orting

  Delay of Game - Deliberately causing a stoppage of play; player is penalized with a minor penalty.

  Late August – Fifty/50

  Chicago

  I wanted to tell myself that I had finally pulled my head out of my ass. That I was a better man now. Only, I wasn’t convinced of that. I would be a father next month and I still couldn’t shake the nerves. I felt like the last five months had went by like the last half of the season did. One blurring into the next.

  My life right now was like my game. I was pushing a puck up the ice, scrambling toward a goal I wasn’t sure I was going to make. About a dozen other players battled with me, each one going for that same goal and wanting to snag that puck away. It was an ongoing battle for three periods, never able to let your guard down, never able to just sit back and watch, you were either the player or you got played. The thought of having a baby right now, with Callie, and playing this game with guys who have all had a taste of my girl was fucking with my mind, big time.

  Mase sensed there was something going on with me. “What’s up?”

  “Would you be mad if I slept with Ami?”

  “What?” He choked on his beer and then raised the back of his hand to his mouth. “What the fuck kind of question is that?” He turned toward me, chest puffed out ready to knock me out if I said I did.

  “Not like that.” I blew off his rage as nothing, rolling my eyes, and he relaxed knowing my next set of words wasn’t anything along the lines he was assuming they would be. “What I mean is, say Ami slept with all our friends…and me…before you dated her.”

  “Oh,” he gave a nod, setting his beer on the coaster in front of him. “I see what this is about.” He knew now. “You’re upset about Callie fuckin’ all of us.”

  It was about time I admitted it. “I never thought I would be but now…it’s just different.”

  “Well, it has to be different. She’s having your baby.” He sighed relaxing beside me. “You just gotta realize that she’s not like that anymore. I haven’t seen Callie like that since Dave. I think in a lot of ways it woke her up to the reality of what she was doing.”

  He knew I wasn’t looking for that. It kept going back to the fact that I was struggling with the idea of my boys all having their way with her. I’ve had one-night stands and messed around with hundreds of women. I know what nights like that are like and the thought of them doing that with Callie, a girl I was in love with, well, it didn’t sit well with me. The thoughts were nauseating to me. Probably because I knew now that I loved her.

  Remy called Mase over to the pool table. “I’ll be right back. Don’t jump off the ledge just yet.”

  I gave a nod and he gave a half smile at the action.

  The thing was, him leaving was me jumping and I think he knew that when he turned back to look over his shoulder and saw Walker approaching me. Newly traded to our team, and a center himself, we never really had any friendly words for one another because I am just as competitive as was Jeff and now we were basically competing for the same position.

  “Man, it’s good to be back in town.” Why he was at this bar with us pissed me off even more. If that was possible at this point. “I’ll have to give my girl Callie a call.”

  His girl? His fucking girl?

  Wrong move, motherfucker. Anger flattened me immediately at what he was implying by saying his girl. She wasn’t his girl. She was mine.

  I slammed my glass down after finishing its remnants. “I don’t think she’ll answer.”

  He laughed, looking around the bar as if this was funny to him and everyone else should laugh. The guys behind me went silent knowing what was about to happen. “And why’s that, Orting?”

  “Because she’s with m
e now.” A wave of fury rattled through my bones settling in my stomach, stirring thoughts of rage.

  “She’s with everyone. We can share. I’m a nice guy if you get to know me.”

  I spun around on the stool and faced the bar again, my body shaking. “I doubt that.”

  “What the fuck is your problem with me anyway?” Walker asked, as if I shouldn’t have a problem with him.

  Mase placed his hand on Walker’s chest backing him up. “Don’t do that, bud. He’s havin’ a bad day.”

  He warned him. But Jeff Walker listened about as well as I did. “Oh, who fuckin’ cares? This dude can shit talk with the best of ‘em and now because he’s fuckin’ a regular we gotta be nice? Fuck that.”

  He wasn’t doing himself any favors so Mase raised his hands and took a step back. “I warned ya.”

  Jeff faced me again. “So what, she can’t come out and play anymore? That’s not what I heard.”

  Was this guy for real? He was implying he’d talked to her lately.

  That didn’t sit well with me.

  Shaking my head violently, I tried to understand what it was he was getting at, but, as it seemed, I was beyond handling anything. I barely had enough control to continue speaking in a normal civilized manner. Inside, my blood was boiling.

  “Shut the fuck up about Callie.”

  I didn’t wait.

  I swung at him landing a right hook right on his jaw. Stunned, he blinked and turned his head to the side and then looked back at me, pushing his dirty blonde hair from his face. “We may be teammates now but no one hits me and gets away with it.”

  I’ve never been in a bar fight before. Until today. And remember, I don’t like the sight of blood and I saw a lot of it that night. I threw some punches, had a beer bottle broken over my head and I basically destroyed Fifty/50 all over a stupid comment. I felt bad about that. I was sure I would never step foot in that bar again. Or, at least I was asked not to when I was leaving, escorted by police.

  An hour later after being booked in the county jail, right along with Walker, I sat there thinking.

  My thoughts were all over the fuckin’ place as I sat there contemplating what the hell this was and why I felt like this all of a sudden. The last couple months had been great, why was I reacting this way now? When I thought about it even more, knowing it was a boy scared me. Made it seem real.

  Hearing that shit from Jeff scared me too. Had Callie really changed?

  Had I?

  Here we are playing house and deep down, I was scared.

  What if I didn’t want this?

  Deep down, I knew I did.

  What if she doesn’t?

  At this point I really had no idea what it was that she did want, aside from sex.

  How was this supposed to work after the baby was born?

  What then?

  There was a kid involved now. You couldn’t just change your fucking mind.

  Bringing my knees to my chest, I sat on the bench, my hands shaking. When I closed my eyes, my head leaned back against the brick wall, I was back in my childhood home, sitting on the floor watching my dad stare at my brother and me, two kids who never asked him for anything but attention, a little of anything to show us we weren’t invisible.

  In the background I could almost hear the screaming over the Linda Ronstadt tunes that my mom played almost on repeat some days.

  My eyes snapped open, not wanting the memory.

  With a heavy sigh, I got to my feet, pacing the small cell, wondering what the fuck I was going to do now. Surely my agent wasn’t going to be happy about this. Neither was coach.

  I didn’t call anyone to bail me out. I felt like I needed to sulk in my misery but I figured when the bailiff called my name it was either Mase or one of the boys who sprung me.

  Only it was Callie.

  Have you ever had that experience as a child when you knew you did something wrong and your mom or dad was going to yell at you when you got home from school?

  So that long walk from the bus stop was impossibly slower?

  You stopped, smelled the grass, took dirt in your hands, felt the grains slide through your fingers. Took deep breaths to remember what fresh air smelled like. All because you were sure when your parents heard what you had done, life was pretty much over.

  That was me on the walk from the cell to Callie waiting outside for me.

  I imagined everything she was going to say to me in detail.

  Shifting my weight, I looked down at my feet when I noticed her standing beside the car. She was just a few feet away but it felt like miles.

  “What the fuck happened?”

  I shrugged trying to blow it off shoving my hands in my pockets. “Got in a fight with Jeff Walker.”

  “Your teammate?” She gave me a look of disbelief.

  I didn’t say anything at first, until her weight shifted from one foot to the other, her hands on her hips. With the way she stood there, hair thrown up into a messy bun, zip-up hoodie undone revealing her swollen stomach, she looked intimidating. Pissed off actually. Couldn’t blame her.

  “I wouldn’t call him a teammate.” And then I stared at her, my jaw tightening. “What would you call him?”

  That pissed her off and she swallowed hard. “It’d be really great if you actually gave a shit for once, Leo.” Her face turned red. “You’re here and you’re present but you’re not really here. You haven’t been unless we’re fucking. What does that tell me?”

  Her words took me by surprise. Made me angry. Sweat soaked my skin as the humidity in the air made it hard to breathe. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking in a deep labored breath as I processed what she said. I’m not here? How could she think that?

  “You know, Callie,” I squared my shoulders, afraid to breathe in because if I did right then, I was sure my lungs would turn to fire and my bones to dust. “I’m at the point where I don’t fuckin’ give a shit. All I do is give and you fuckin’ give me nothing. I have no idea how you feel. No goddamn idea at all because you can’t say it.”

  Callie stared at me, blank faced and teary eyed, not anticipating my tone. “Neither can you.”

  She had me there. I guess. We were both offsides and neither one of us wanted to be called on the penalty.

  I knew deep down, some shit couldn’t be taken back but it didn’t stop me and it should have. It fucking should have. I should have stopped right then before I blew this all to pieces. Give me a chance and I would, I was set to.

  She sighed losing her anger a little. “You can’t be acting like this. Why did you get in a fight with him anyway?”

  Anger, suppressed anger, was dangerous. I’ve seen it play out on the ice before. A player looking for retribution but never handed the chance. Next time you met them on the ice, you sought them out. The thing was, that anger made you do and say shit you normally wouldn’t. Anything to get under their skin and make them feel an ounce of your fury.

  My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I spoke. “Have you been with him recently?”

  She flinched, my words rushing over her. “Goddamn you, Leo!” The anger came back with a vengeance. Don’t piss off pregnant women. “Don’t accuse me of that shit when I’m in your fucking condo and sleeping with you every night.”

  “Is that so?” I searched her gaze and then leaned closer to her face. I glanced down at her lips, my body moved closer. “Walker said he’d be calling you up since you are a ‘regular’ and doesn’t understand why he can’t share.”

  Her brown eyes narrowed at me, shoving me backwards with both hands on my chest. “You fucking asshole! You haven’t changed one bit, have you? Are you going to ask me if this is your baby again? Let me guess, you think it’s his all of a sudden?”

  I threw my arms up in the air. “Sorry if it’s hard for me to accept that my girl has fucked all my friends.”

  And then it was out and I couldn’t take it back. The one thing I swore I would never judge her for, I just did. Right then I took another pi
ece of her heart and smashed it into the ground. I don’t think Callie is a slut. Never have. What I felt was that my friends, my boys, had been with my girl. There was a difference. It was that she was with them. If it had been someone I didn’t know, that’s different.

  For a moment, her face crumbled, denial turned to anger, torture. “And it should be easy for me to accept you’ve probably fucked half the female population here in Chicago, not to mention how many puck bunnies you’ve had in all the other cities?” She blinked, tears rolling down her cheeks, the look of shock disappearing from her devastatingly beautiful face.

  “Maybe I have.” I folded my arms over my chest. She knew arguing with me wasn’t going to get her anywhere but I’d basically called her a slut. I had no room to argue.

  Callie turned to walk away but I grabbed her arm. “Where are you going? Tell me how much you hate me. Don’t hold back.”

  I wanted her to hate me right then. She should have and it was like I was trying to make sure she did.

  Her voice was high, bordering on hysterical as she pulled away from me. “I do hate you right now, Leo. I moved in with you. I’m sharing my life with you, having your baby and letting someone in for the first time. Yet here you are,” she gave me a once over with a wave of her hand, “accusing me of being a slut when you’re no better. Goddamn you!”

  Bystanders on the street walked by, all giving us these glances like who are these people. But I saw none of them right then. What I saw was what we had was going up in smoke and we were both making sure it did.

  “If you’re sharing everything with me… why won’t you tell me what happened with you and Dave?”

  I could tell right then, she was so pissed at me that she could have probably killed me. “I did tell you.”

  “No. You didn’t.” My jaw clenched, my stare on hers. “You told me he roughed you up. What about the nightmares?”

  Callie looked surprised, for just a moment, and then laid into me, struggling to get the words out over her tears. “What do you want me to say, Leo? Tell you every detail? I don’t want to remember him let alone any fucking details and tell you about it. He held me down, slapped me across the face and fucked me with his hands so tight on my throat that I passed out. Woke up with a black eye. Is that what you want to hear?”