Delayed Offsides

by Shey Stahl

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  Marla smiled. “I’ll get daddy to let go of him for a minute.”

  “Can you bring them both in here?” The nurse smiled and said she’d be right back.

  My stomach clenched as I watched the door knowing in a moment, Leo was going to come through those doors holding my life in his hands. Life I almost lost from my own stupidity. Tears rolled down my cheeks, waiting.

  When he appeared, his eyes were cast down at the baby in his arms wrapped in a thick white blanket. I noticed the hair first, he had a full head of dark hair. “Ready to meet your mama, bud?”

  Slowly my eyes met Leo’s. Then I was reminded how mad I still was at him.

  But the sight of him holding our son made me a little less mad. Okay, a lot less mad.

  He was here. That mattered.

  I stared into his red and watery eyes.

  Leo made his way over to my bed where the nurse had elevated me slightly to a sitting position. I felt pain immediately, all over, but it didn’t matter. I just wanted to see my baby.

  When he got to the bed, he handed the baby to me and coolly glanced up at me. “He’s cute, huh?”

  He was breathtaking. The most beautiful baby I had ever seen. He didn’t look like a normal newborn. His skin was a nice pink, warm, his eyes closed with a cute little pout to his lips that were identical to Leo’s.

  “He looks like you.” Leo whispered, reaching for my hand and wrapping it around the baby and me.

  “I’m so sorry.” He spoke dejectedly pressing his forehead to mine.

  My heart wanted to believe him.

  It did.

  He gave me time before he said anything else, letting me enjoy what was in my arms. I was the mother of this baby.

  Minutes, hours, they all blurred together when I stared at my baby, emotions caught in my throat and I found it hard to swallow over the lump.

  My baby.

  He was mine.

  I looked up at Leo attempting to think of how to respond. Leo was the type of guy who could see through bullshit. There was no sense in lying because he needed to know how I felt right then. “It hurt. I’m not going to lie and say those words didn’t hurt me because they did.”

  “I know it did.” He whispered, bright blue locked with mine. His cheek pressed against my chest over my heartbeat. “I’m sorry. God…” He groaned, shaking his head back and forth. “I can’t tell you how fucking sorry I am right now. Sorry isn’t even a word to do this feeling justice.”

  “Stop it.”

  “Why?”

  I prayed for my eyes to hold an indifference but knowing they didn’t. “Because…if you say anything more, I’m going to start crying and my hormones are crazy. I’ll start and I might not stop.”

  I think he knew I needed a laugh and nudged my shoulder a little. “Turns out you didn’t need to bleach your asshole after all.”

  “Leo,” I gasped, thinking about what I must have looked like down there. I hadn’t shaved in days, “get down there and check that shit. I’m afraid my goodies are ripped. I’m gonna be pissed if that adorable little monster destroyed me.”

  He laughed and took the baby from me when I winced in pain. “You had a C-section.”

  Undoing the blanket a little when he moved, a small hand laced around Leo’s finger as he rocked the baby back and forth. I gasped at the sight before me, unclear as to what Leo was thinking right then. Could he see this for how special this little baby was to us now?

  I was blinking back tears, but so was he when he glanced down at me. A man like Leo Orting was nearly crying at the sight of his son in his arms. His brow scrunched, deep in thought, maybe, and he sighed looking back at the baby. “What should we name him?”

  “I was thinking maybe Caleb Andrew.” I said, tentatively. “I’ve always liked the name Caleb… and Andrew after Ami’s brother.”

  Leo tipped his head peering down at the baby. “What do you think, bud?” He patted his thickly padded butt bouncing him slightly, as if he was a complete natural around babies. “Do you like that name?” He smiled at me, a question playing at his lips. “Caleb Andrew… Orting?”

  “I like that.”

  His brow scrunched again, a strange look coming over his features as he sat beside the bed still holding the baby. “You never told your dad who the father was?” His tone wasn’t accusing at all. It was… simply curious.

  “No.” I’ll admit I never told my dad who the father was because it didn’t matter to him. He never asked. I hadn’t seen him in months. Didn’t even invite him to the baby shower because what would have been the point?

  “You know, I’m not really the sneak around the GM’s back kind of guy. If we’re doing this, you need to be up front with him and tell him we’re living together too.”

  I know I said I didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t, but I needed to know if I was leaving this hospital alone or with Leo. “Are we doing this? Because the last thing I remember, was you basically calling me a slut and sayin’ you were done pretending it didn’t bother you.”

  Without hesitating, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Caleb’s forehead, and then reached for my hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m all in.”

  Leo went back to the condo later that night. I had been out for an entire day and would be stuck in here for a few days before I was allowed to go home. I didn’t want my baby wrapped in hospital blankets all the time so I sent Leo home to get him some clothes.

  Ami stayed with me, in my bed, holding Caleb. She refused to give him back to me.

  “Are you okay?” Ami asked, tearful eyes holding back emotion she was afraid I wouldn’t want to see as she stared at Caleb.

  “I’m fine, Ami. It was just a mugging.” I put my head on her shoulder, unable to tear my eyes away from Caleb. I couldn’t stop staring at him. “It was nothing like what happened to you.”

  “Don’t you see?” She looked over at me. “The crime doesn’t matter. Someone took something from you, whether it be money, or your virginity, or…your sense of security. They still took something from you and that can’t be ignored.”

  When I was eleven, I found my mom’s journal she kept when she was pregnant with me. On the first page was: One day this plan will make sense to you.

  Being eleven I had no idea what that meant. Even years later, still didn’t know. Now, well, it meant something to me.

  Ami was right though, yes, something had been taken from me. Just as it had been from her.

  I suppose, maybe in some ways, this was part of the plan?

  Made us realize what we had?

  In a strange sense, I felt closer to Ami now. Like I finally understood what she went through.

  Leo Orting

  Face Off - When the referee drops the puck between two opposing players to start or resume the game after a stoppage in play.

  The day Callie was set to be released from the hospital, we lied there together in her hospital bed waiting for the discharge papers.

  I wanted to say so much to her when I saw her holding my son but the way she was looking at me I wasn’t sure it was the right time to do that. I brought her hand to my lips brushing them softly over her skin. “He’s perfect.”

  Callie continued to cry, words I couldn’t understand falling from her lips when she pressed them to Caleb’s forehead.

  I could tell Callie wasn’t sure how she felt right then, confused maybe. Her voice, her crying, her words were ones from a girl who’d just went through something horrible and was now faced with the reality. I knew that look. I’d seen it on Mase and Ami’s face time and time again.

  “I’m scared, Leo.” She admitted. “When we take him home, what if I don’t know what I’m doing.” And then she paused, worry filling her features. “Actually, I know I’m not going to know what I’m doing.”

  “We could hire a nanny.” It was only a suggestion but it seemed like a good one if you asked me.

  “No.” She shot that idea down as
I reached for the handle of the car seat. “We need to know what we’re doing.”

  She was right. We did.

  When you leave the hospital with the baby, it’s like this, going from playing in the NHL to playing back in the juniors. I blamed those nurses in the hospital for giving us false hope and treating us like royalty. Because when we left, it was clear we had no fucking clue how to take care of this kid.

  Even the simplest things took us hours. Like changing his diaper. Took both of us, being peed on, and two diapers before we got one on him and he wasn’t even moving. Just lying there staring at us. It was, to date, the only time he wasn’t crying because he was probably in awe that it took the two of us to change his damn diaper that first day at home.

  And the weeks that followed with a newborn baby at home were like hockey training camp. Instead of a coach yelling drills at you, you had this little bald headed monster crying non-stop and begging to be held all night long like you should somehow learn how to sleep standing up while bouncing up and down.

  I was convinced there was something wrong with Caleb once we brought him home. Maybe they gave us the wrong baby. Or maybe he just didn’t fucking like us.

  It was nothing like I thought it would be. There was the middle of the night feeding, crying, burping, crying, projectile vomiting, crying, explosive shitting, crying…

  Did I mention crying?

  With all that crying, I had to admit when training camp started up the following week, being on the ice again was looking pretty good.

  Blackhawks Training Camp Festival – September 16, 2011

  United Center - Chicago

  Reality had crept in and the hockey season was nearing. Part of me was dreading it, the other was excited because I wanted away from Caleb’s crying. Little adorable bastard was notorious for giving me a piece of his mind, by crying, in the middle of the night.

  Callie was a heavy sleeper.

  I was not.

  When I got ready to leave in the morning, Callie was looking at Caleb watching her with rapt attention as he laid in the middle of our bed. She sat beside him holding a diaper in one hand and a bottle in the other, probably unsure which one he wanted first. Who knew with this kid.

  Dressed and ready, I stood staring at the two of them. It was like they were having a stare off, who would cry first probably.

  Callie looked up at me, her hair messy and wild only wearing my jersey, her bare thighs oh so tempting. “He’s probably thinking, wow, I have a shitty mom.”

  I knew I needed to be careful around a woman who’d just given birth. “No, he’s probably just wondering how he got stuck with the both of us.”

  Her reaction was guarded and for a moment, I honestly thought I had offended her by my words. Until she laughed. “He drew the short stick when they were assigning parents.”

  I laughed leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Poor little guy.” And then I pulled back cupping her cheek in my hand. “I’ll call you every day or you call me if you need anything. Ami is coming over in a bit.”

  She just nodded, tears threatening to fall as I kissed her one last time and headed out the door.

  Training camp isn’t easy by any means. Every year you gotta prove you’re worthy of wearing the jersey. Most of the time cuts take place a week into practice but they can happen at any time during those two practices a day. And they do. Sometimes even that first game of the season guys are gone.

  Why do they do that?

  You only have twenty-three spots on your roster.

  Who would play center on the bottom two lines as well our wingers lined up. I for one was busting my ass. O’Brien made it known that top line was mine but I wasn’t so convinced. Walker had a past here. And Ed still hadn’t spoken to me. Probably wouldn’t. He saw Caleb once since he was born and handed Callie five grand. That was his way of being a grandfather.

  Back to Walker, who was watching me during that first practice. He wasn’t like me by any means. He was creative. Yeah, he could get in their head and make ‘em think but he couldn’t stuff that motherfucker down their throats and say, swallow.

  I did that.

  “Hey man,” he said, hoping to open a conversation with me. He wanted to talk after our bar incident. I didn’t. Wasn’t ready. So I ignored him completely. I held grudges, fucking sue me. “I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t know you two were together. I don’t want any bad blood between us.”

  Still, I ignored him.

  “So you’re going to fuckin’ ignore me?” He asked, being persistent and following after me when I skated away from him.

  “I’m trying to. You’re making it hard.”

  When I got back to the boards where Mase and Remy were, they laughed. “I see you’re still best friends.”

  I don’t know what the future held between Walker and me. Eventually I’d get over his comments but for now, I remained pissed.

  I snorted. “Little prick can suck my left nut.”

  “Why not the right?” Remy asked stifling his laughter with his glove.

  “Fuck off.”

  Same boys, different year.

  It was all in good fun and I knew one thing by being back on the ice that day, aside from being tired as hell. I didn’t want to leave Chicago. I loved it here and the life we were making. I wanted Caleb to grow up here. Most of all, I wanted a family. For so long I didn’t want that. Now I couldn’t imagine that life I used to have.

  Game 4 – Boston Bruins – Saturday, October 18, 2011

  United Center – Chicago

  Once the season began, we were playing jokes on the rookies, and the new guy. Shawzer was just glad we’d moved on from him finally and was willing to participate.

  My plan for Walker came when I was able to contact a local radio station. Had them set up a fake “win a date with a Blackhawk” and told Walker he was the selected Blackhawk. He seemed to think this was some kind of honor, like he was actually “selected” by a group of chicks.

  Stupid fucker.

  This was where Rosco came back into the pranks. He was such a great sport. We had him show up at the restaurant Walker was supposed to meet his date, only we had him dressed with a wig, a red dress and heels.

  It was classic.

  So when he showed up for the game that night, he wasn’t pleased.

  He shoved me in the locker room pushing me into Mase and Remy. “I know you two were behind that!”

  Walker and I would never get along. Couldn’t sit next to each other on the bench and certainly couldn’t play the same line. Given we played the same position and that was never going to happen, I couldn’t be on the ice with him at the same time. No way. I’d kill him.

  I raised my palms, smiling. “Oh Walky, it’s all in good fun.”

  “Leave that poor bum alone.” O’Brien barked throwing a newspaper at me with the headlines that read, BLACKHAWKS GIVE BACK TO COMMUNITY. Below that was a picture of Rosco in a red dress.

  “Hey, we got that guy a job and a place to live.” I defended. “We’re giving back to the community.”

  “Doesn’t mean you can torment the bastard.”

  I blew him off turning to Mase. “He loves it.” My voice lowered. “I think he should pay a visit to O’Brien next.”

  Mase laughed. “Now there’s an idea.”

  O’Brien clapped his hands together and grabbed our attention. “Game time boys…”

  It was game time in more ways than one. As soon as I was on that ice I felt at home again and everything just sort of started to make sense to me. My home has always been on the ice but I was starting to realize that my real home was sitting back in Trump Towers with my girl and my baby boy. Skating around the rink, thoughts of one day sharing all this with Caleb had me smiling during practice, a big ass grin that I couldn’t wipe off my face even if I tried.

  What made sense was when I skated by Callie’s usual seats and saw her standing near the glass holding Caleb up. He was wearing his little Orting jersey we got him, h
is eyes closed to the chaos around him.

  I skated by throwing my right shoulder into the glass knocking it. When I got by her, I looked back and winked.

  She smiled.

  That’s my family right there. I was doing this and though I was terrified, I was still doing it and that’s all I could do for now, right?

  Make the effort. Give the both of them what they needed.

  Callie Pratt

  Hoisting the Puck - Lifting the puck off the ice by flipping it with the blade of the stick.

  I knew once the season began things would change. They started changing the moment we brought him home Labor Day weekend and Leo was drunk and I wasn’t. He was there, on the balcony, drinking with his buddies and I was breastfeeding. I had barely seen him lately but I understood that once the season began, that’s the way it was when you’re in love with a hockey player.

  I knew going into it what it was like growing up with my father. What I wasn’t prepared for was that feeling of being alone even when he was there when his mind was on hockey.

  When Leo left for practice that morning, I was left there, alone, with the baby. That’s when I got scared. I didn’t want to do anything wrong and when I was alone, I was terrified I was going to.

  As soon as the door closed, Caleb’s lip started to quiver like he was going to start crying. “Don’t cry, buddy, please.” I was begging and I think he was taking pity on me.

  Caleb smiled, toothless and adorable but his brow scrunched like Leo’s did at times when he was trying to concentrate on what you were saying. “Auntie is on her way over.”

  That got him. I think he loved Ami more than me.

  If it wasn’t for Ami, my sanity would have been gone completely. I was dreading going back to work in a month just for the simple fact that I didn’t want to leave Caleb with a babysitter. Leo’s schedule was all over the place that even when he was at home, I wouldn’t be able to rely on him to watch Caleb. He’d surely have either practice or some sort of publicity event.