Razor

by Heather Slade

  “Thank you,” Ava murmured.

  “I’ll be right back,” the nurse said, parking her in the ICU waiting room where Monk also sat.

  “Any word?” Kade asked him.

  Monk shook his head. “No change.”

  A few minutes later, the nurse came back out. “I’ll take you in now.”

  She wheeled her up to the closed door of a room and stopped. “I’m going to warn you, it looks bad.”

  “Okay,” Ava whispered, trying not to cry.

  “There are a lot of tubes and monitors attached to him. And a ventilator is doing his breathing for him.”

  The nurse wheeled her in, and Ava covered her mouth to stifle the sound of her cry. Tabon was barely recognizable beneath all the medical devices he was hooked up to.

  “Do you want me to give you some time alone, or would you prefer it if I stayed?” the nurse asked.

  “Alone, please.”

  Ava got up from the wheelchair and sat in the chair closest to the hospital bed.

  She covered his hand with hers. “I told you once that I couldn’t live without Aine. But, Tabon, I can’t live without you either.”

  Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she rested her head on the bed, near his side.

  “I love you so much. I have since the first time I saw you. And you love me too—Saylor told me you did—so you can’t leave me.”

  As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop sobbing. She loved this man with all her heart, and because of her, he was lying in this bed, barely alive.

  She felt a hand on her back, and eased up, brushing at her tears. When she saw Saylor standing behind her, Ava jumped up and threw her arms around the woman.

  “I’m so sorry,” she cried.

  “Shh,” Saylor soothed. “Come with me. There’s someone I want you to talk to.”

  Ava looked at Tabon; her time with him had been far too short.

  “We’ll come back,” Saylor whispered, taking Ava’s hand.

  “Oh, the wheelchair,” Saylor said when they were partway down the hall.

  “It’s okay. I don’t really need it.”

  “If you’re sure…”

  Ava nodded.

  “There are actually two people I want you to talk to.”

  Saylor stopped at another closed door and knocked. The door opened and Ava saw Tabon’s mother inside, talking to a doctor. When Sally held out her hand, Ava sat in the chair next to her. She’d been crying, like Ava had, but she had a smile on her face.

  “Is this Avarie?” asked the doctor.

  Ava nodded.

  “Good.” The doctor looked up at Saylor. “Now that you’re both here, I’ll tell you what I’ve just told Mrs. Sharp.”

  Sally held both Ava’s and Saylor’s hands and squeezed them.

  “Tabon’s organs are all functioning, and we have significant brain activity, enough that we believe we can withdraw life support.”

  Sally smiled and looked between her daughter and Ava. “Isn’t that wonderful news?”

  “He’s going to be okay?” Ava whispered, almost too afraid to say it out loud.

  “I’m not going to lie, his recovery may not be easy or quick, but yes, I believe he’s going to be okay.”

  “When can I see him again?” she asked.

  The doctor looked at Sally.

  “It’s up to you, Ava. Saylor and I want to be with him when they disconnect the breathing machine. You don’t have to be with us.”

  Ava squared her shoulders. “I want to be.”

  “There’s a chance—”

  Ava shook her head vehemently before Saylor could continue. “He’s going to be okay.”

  The doctor led them out of the office and back down the hallway. “A respiratory therapist will be assisting me by disconnecting the tube from the machine. I’m confident that Tabon will begin breathing on his own immediately.”

  “Are you sure you want to be here?” Sally asked once more.

  “I do, as long as you’re okay with it.”

  Sally put her hand on Tabon’s left arm and motioned for Saylor and Ava to do the same.

  Ava held her own breath watching as the breathing tube was disconnected. At the same moment Tabon took a breath on his own, so did she.

  “Now what happens?” Saylor asked.

  “We wait for him to wake up,” answered the doctor.

  “How long might that take?”

  Ava was so relieved Saylor asked, because as much as she wanted to, she wouldn’t have.

  The doctor shrugged. “That’s up to him.”

  They took turns taking breaks, so Tabon was never left alone. Kade and Merrigan had stayed with Monk in the ICU waiting room and told Ava they promised to give Aine, Pen, and Tara an update as soon as there was one.

  “He’s breathing and doing everything else on his own,” she told them. “We’re just waiting for him to decide to open his eyes.”

  She looked around the waiting room. “Where’s Gunner?” she asked. She hadn’t seen him earlier when the nurse brought her up, nor the last time she came out for a break.

  “He’s in the chapel,” answered Monk from the far corner of the room.

  “Where is that?”

  “I’ll take you,” offered Kade.

  “How are you holding up?” he asked as he led her down the hallway.

  “Better now that I know Tabon is going to be okay.”

  “If you need to talk, I’d offer myself, but you’d probably be more comfortable with Merrigan.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “Here we are,” he said, motioning to a door flanked by two stained glass windows.

  “Aren’t you coming in?”

  Kade shook his head. “I think he’ll want to talk to you on his own.”

  “Gunner?” Ava said, slowly walking down the aisle that separated the rows of pews in the small chapel. She saw him brush his face against his shirt sleeve before looking up at her.

  She got right to the point, knowing that if the situation were reversed, she’d want him to do the same. “He’s going to be fine.”

  Gunner didn’t say anything, but his expression looked hopeful.

  She told him that he’d been taken off life support because the doctor believed he was ready to breathe on his own, and that all of his organs, including his brain, appeared to be functioning properly.

  “Thank God,” she heard him whisper.

  “Can I sit with you?”

  He scooted over so there was room for her to sit beside him.

  “He’s been my best friend for a lot of years,” he said.

  “Tell me about him.”

  Gunner smiled and started talking. An hour later, they were still laughing at the stories he told about boot camp and some of their missions. He even told her about how he’d been feeling the morning of Quinn and Mercer’s wedding.

  “Razor was so nervous about seeing you. I’d never seen him like that. He was already so crazy about you.”

  “It was the same for me,” she murmured.

  “You probably want to get back to him.”

  “I’d like it better if you’d come with me.”

  —:—

  It was almost as though Razor could hear voices telling him to wake up, but he didn’t want to. He was having the best damn dream about Avarie, and he didn’t want it to end.

  “Tabon?”

  When he heard her sweet voice, he opened his eyes.

  “I was dreaming about you,” he tried to say, but his throat hurt like a sonuvabitch, and his voice was so raspy he wasn’t sure she could understand him.

  “Yeah?” she said, smiling through tears. “Was it a good one?”

  Razor looked away from her to see if they were alone before he told her exactly how good of a one it was, and saw Gunner standing with his back to the wall.

  “Welcome back,” his friend said, also smiling through tears. Razor could only remember seeing Gunner cry one other time in his life.

  “Ho
w long was I gone?”

  “Not quite thirty-six hours.”

  “Shit,” he said. “Is that good or bad?”

  “You were in surgery for twelve of them.”

  Razor tried to touch his side, but he had too many wires attached to reach it. “Where’d it hit me?” he asked Gunner.

  “Both lungs.”

  “No shit? That’s got you beat,” he said with a smile.

  Gunner motioned to Ava with his head, and Razor looked over at her beautiful face.

  “I’ll give you two a moment,” Gunner said, leaving the room. “Not too long, though. Your mom and Saylor will be back here as soon as I tell them you’re awake.”

  Razor hadn’t taken his eyes off Ava’s. “In that case, there’s something I need to tell you. Come closer,” he said. “I love you, Avarie.”

  “I love you, Tabon.”

  20

  He hated for Ava to leave, but the nurses refused to let her sleep in the ICU until the doctor released her from hospital care, which wouldn’t be until the next morning.

  “Goodnight,” she said as he pulled her in for the twenty or thirtieth kiss.

  “I don’t want you to go,” he said, winding his fingers in her hair.

  “Ahem,” said Doc, standing in the doorway.

  “Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll let you go, but only if you promise to sneak back up here in an hour or so.”

  Ava smiled, kissed his forehead, and waved at Doc on her way out.

  “Your mother said the doctor warned her that your recovery might be slow.”

  Razor smiled. “He doesn’t know me.”

  Doc laughed. “I said exactly that.”

  “Catch me up.”

  “You sure you’re ready?”

  Razor nodded. “Where the fuck is Petrov, and who the hell shot me?”

  “I don’t know, but we’re working on it.”

  “The bastard got away? Jesus. How?”

  “Someone helped him, but we aren’t one hundred percent sure who.”

  “Why don’t you know who shot me? Do you think it’s the same person?”

  Doc nodded. “We do.”

  “You said not one hundred percent, but you have a theory.”

  “Gunner disagrees.”

  “Raketa-fucking-Ishakov?”

  “Yeah, but it’s Ivashov.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what it is. I knew that goddamn bitch couldn’t be trusted. She almost fucking killed me.”

  There was a rap at the door and Merrigan slipped inside. “We can hear you all the way down the hallway,” she told him. “You have two choices: you can lower your voice and Doc can stay, or you can continue making the rest of the patients very uncomfortable and he can leave. What’ll it be, Sharp?”

  Razor closed his eyes and let his head rest against the pillow. “So she’s gone?”

  Doc nodded. “And so is Petrov.”

  “I would’ve killed him.”

  “I would’ve too if I’d been there.”

  “Ava stopped me, not the gunshot.”

  “I know.”

  “Who told you?”

  “Ava did.”

  Shit. Which meant, even though she’d been all smiles while she was with him, she probably blamed herself for him getting shot and almost dying.

  “This isn’t Ava’s fault,” he said to both Doc and Merrigan.

  “No one thinks it is, Razor,” said Merrigan.

  “She does.”

  “I’m working on that.”

  “Yeah? Are you using your persuasive powers, Fatale?”

  “I’m handling it like I would any other witness who turned into a victim. It’ll take time, but eventually she’ll accept that her being in the wrong place at the wrong time doesn’t make anything that happened her doing.”

  “Have you talked to her about her father?”

  Merrigan looked at Doc before answering.

  “No,” Doc answered.

  “What was that about? Why’d you look at him before he answered, Fatale?”

  “Because Merrigan won’t let me talk to Ava about her father.”

  “She isn’t ready, Tabon.”

  “Ava’s the only one who calls me that.”

  “Sorry. I meant Razor.” She smiled. “Regardless of what your name is, Ava isn’t ready, particularly since we don’t know where he is.”

  “She knows he’s gone. I guarantee it.”

  Merrigan nodded. “We haven’t confirmed it.”

  “I wanna talk to Gunner.”

  “He’s gone to the hotel,” said Doc.

  “I don’t give a fuck. I want him here. Now.”

  Merrigan rested her hand on his arm. “If you keep this up, they won’t let anyone in to see you, and they’ll also sedate you.”

  Razor shook his head and rested it back against the pillow. “I need to see him,” he repeated.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” Doc told him.

  “I don’t care if you and Monk have to knock him out and transport him here. I want to see him. Tonight.”

  —:—

  “How is he?” Aine asked when Ava walked back into the room.

  “He’s great,” she smiled; Penelope and Tara were in the room too.

  “We’re so relieved, Ava,” said Pen. “We’ve been praying like crazy.”

  “It worked.” She smiled again, or maybe she hadn’t stopped smiling. “I’m so tired,” she said, pulling back the blanket and sheet on her bed. “You don’t mind if I sleep for a while, do you?”

  “Of course not,” said Pen, jumping up.

  Ava crawled under the covers.

  “We’ll give you a hug and go,” said Tara. “We’re right next door if you need us.”

  “You’re being too nice to me. What you all went through was so much worse.” Ava looked at her sister.

  “What we all went through was hell, Ava. And now we’re here and together, and the doctor says we’re going to be fine,” Pen told her.

  “They’ve arranged for therapists to come and talk to us before we leave too,” said Tara.

  “Get some rest,” said Pen, kissing her forehead. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

  “Are you okay?” Ava asked Aine after they left.

  “What if Dad comes back for you?”

  Ava wished she could tell her he wouldn’t. She wished she wasn’t just as worried as Aine was that he would.

  —:—

  “Where the fuck is she?” Razor spat at Gunner when he walked through the door.

  “I don’t know.”

  “She almost killed me.”

  “We don’t know that. In fact, I’m almost positive it wasn’t her.”

  “Why?”

  “Wrong caliber.”

  “They recovered the bullet?”

  Gunner pulled it out of his pocket. “The surgeon dug it out of you.”

  “I don’t even want to know how you got it.”

  “Part of an attempted murder investigation.”

  “If it wasn’t Raketa, where is she?”

  “I’m afraid that whoever shot you, took her.”

  Razor nodded. One thing that he and Gunner had always agreed to do was listen to each other, even when they were fighting mad, even when they couldn’t be further apart in their opinions. He respected the hell out of his friend, and if Gunner believed Raketa wasn’t the one who shot him, Razor did too. It helped a lot that he had the bullet that almost went through him, though.

  “Petrov is still out there,” said Razor.

  “I know.”

  “That means Ava isn’t safe.”

  “She is now.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Striker, Dutch, Onyx, Alegria, Monk, Doc, and Fatale are all here. Fatale is here more as the mother hen, but I can guarantee you she’s armed. Plus me, and Shiv is on his way with two more from MI6.”

  “Shit. All the big guns.”

  “There ain’t no one gettin’ to Ava McNamara, her sister, or the two other ones.”r />
  “The two other ones? You don’t even know their names? Wasn’t it a week ago that you were ready to…how’d you put it?”

  “Don’t remind me. And yeah, I know their first, middle, and last names, their damn social security numbers, and all other kinds of shit I shouldn’t know.”

  Razor laughed and then winced.

  “What did I miss?”

  “Avarie was pissed at me about somethin’ and asked if I knew her bra size and when she had her last menstrual cycle.”

  “And?”

  “I told her I didn’t but I knew when she lost her virginity.”

  “How are you still alive?”

  “I’m charming.”

  “I don’t think it’s that.”

  Razor smiled, but then got more serious. “She loves me.”

  “Wouldn’t take a former CIA agent to figure that out.”

  “I’m gonna ask her to marry me.”

  “Wouldn’t take an agent to figure that out either.”

  “You know what this means, don’t you, Gunner?”

  His friend nodded. “We have to find Petrov and annihilate him.”

  “As soon as possible.”

  “Who should I take?”

  “Dutch and Shiv, plus whoever Shiver brings with him, but ask Striker to bring in a few more. If you think we need it, ask Merrigan to contact MI6.”

  “Roger that.” Gunner got up to walk out. “I sure am glad you’re okay, Tabon.”

  Razor smiled. “Nobody calls me that but her.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  —:—

  “We need to chat,” Tabon said to her when Ava talked the nurse into letting her go upstairs and have breakfast with him.

  She sat down in the chair by his bed. “Okay.”

  Tabon tried to sit up and winced. “Shit.”

  “Jeez. Let me raise the bed.”

  “I gotta warn you, I’m not a good patient.”

  “That surprises me,” she deadpanned.

  “Come here, woman.” He grabbed her around her waist.

  “Don’t, you’ll hurt yourself,” she said, but was giggling at the same time.

  “I love you, Avarie.”

  “Is that what you wanted to chat with me about, because I already knew that. Saylor told me.”

  “I wish it were.”

  Ava sat back down, knowing full well that what he had to say was nothing to joke about.