More Than This

by Shannyn Schroeder

  He expected her to go to Twilight to find a date. He didn’t want her to miss her last chance to find a man. The only guy who’d expressed an interest in a relationship with her over the past months thought she was pitiful.

  Sending signals didn’t work for her any better than trying to read them. After dinner with his family, she thought for sure he’d ask her not to go tonight. That he wanted to spend her last nights in town with her. He was so good at reading people, especially her, how did he not see she would’ve preferred that?

  Unless he didn’t want to see.

  They were better off as friends. She knew that. She couldn’t trust herself to make the right choice. She’d known Ryan would be good for temporary fun, but seeing him with his family played into her own fantasies. That’s all it was, a fantasy.

  She’d left the O’Learys because she needed to pack, and she’d only gotten as far as pulling out her suitcase. What had she wanted to accomplish by telling Ryan she’d been wrong? Would she give up this trip to see what would happen between them? That would be stupid.

  Wishy-washy wasn’t how she lived her life, but Ryan messed with her head. And her heart.

  Turning to her dresser, she yanked open a drawer. She chose her garments carefully. A silk nightgown stared at her. She loved the feel of it and immediately imagined Ryan sliding his hands over her silk-clad body.

  What am I doing?

  She shoved the gown aside and grabbed some cotton shorts. She had a plan, and although some of it hadn’t worked out, she’d accomplished a lot this summer. She shouldn’t change what she wanted because of a man.

  Even a really good man.

  That was the sticking point. For all of her reservations about Ryan, thinking he was too much like Nick, that he would walk all over her, she’d been wrong. He was a good man. She’d just been too blind to see it. Now, it was too late.

  He’d gone out of his way to make her happy, helping her fulfill her list. The least she could do would be to play her part tonight and make him feel like he’d succeeded in his mission.

  No matter how much it might kill her.

  Hours later, Ryan paced in his apartment. Nothing he did eased his restlessness. Colin’s words echoed in his head. Quinn was leaving and she wouldn’t come back. He thought about her navigating another singles event. Why did she even bother going? It wasn’t like she was going to find a summer romance this late in the game.

  She probably wanted to prove to him that she could handle herself and meet men. After all, at dinner she was comfortable because they were just friends.

  Guilt nagged him. He’d convinced her to continue looking for dates, and now he was abandoning her because he didn’t want to witness the event. He changed his clothes and headed to Twilight without a plan. He just knew he couldn’t let Quinn leave like this.

  Inside the door of Twilight, Mary sat at a small, linen-covered table handing out locks and keys. She offered Ryan a key, and he quietly declined.

  People were already mingling and trying to fit keys into locks. Mary had another hit on her hands. He grabbed a beer and wandered around.

  A roomful of single women surrounded him. He should be able to find at least one interesting, even if he refused to play Mary’s lock game. But he didn’t really want to.

  Indy stood near a table sucking on a Blue Smoke. Ryan’s mind drifted to the night Quinn got drunk on Blue Smoke. She’d cuddled into Griffin’s arms that night, but made out with Ryan in an elevator. He sought out Quinn but couldn’t find her.

  A tall, willowy blonde sidled up to him as he turned from Indy’s direction. He nearly collided with her. “Excuse me.”

  “No, excuse me. Would you like to stick your key in?” Her breathy voice drew him closer. “Here’s my lock. Where’s your key?”

  “Sorry, I don’t have one. I’m just watching.”

  “Too bad. I’m Brenda. Buy me a drink?”

  He held out a hand. “Ryan, nice to meet you.” He eyed her nearly full glass. “You look like you’re all set with a drink. I’ll get the next one.”

  He brushed passed her and thought he escaped when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He painted on a friendly smile and turned to see Griffin.

  “Are you sick? The blonde wanted a piece of you,” he informed Ryan and handed him a beer.

  “I know what she wanted. I’m not interested.”

  “Off the market?”

  “Just looking for something different.”

  “Different, like what? A short brunette named Quinn?”

  “You’re out of the loop. We’re friends. That’s it.” If he said it enough, maybe everyone would believe it, including himself. He took a long pull on the beer. “How did you know I was here?”

  “I didn’t. Colin brought me. He’s here somewhere. He said you’ve been working on the apartments. Where’d you finally get the inspiration?”

  “Quinn and Maggie. It’s time to move on.”

  “Moving to where?” Griff clasped a hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

  “I wish I knew.” His eyes wandered back to Indy and saw Quinn sitting beside her. They were entertaining a couple of suits. Indy was chatting them up with her flirtatious grin. Quinn was along for the ride.

  She caught him staring and mouthed, “Help me.”

  He drank from his beer and shook his head. “Do me a favor and rescue Quinn. I’m going to grab a key to help with this charade.”

  Ryan grabbed a key from the fish bowl Mary kept in front of her. She smiled when his hand dipped in, but she didn’t comment. He returned to the networking area and saw Quinn standing with Griffin.

  She was wearing the breezy sundress. The same one he’d stripped from her body the first time they’d made love. He could admit it was more than sex with them. He wasn’t naïve, but they were heading in different directions. Quinn had her route mapped; he was still figuring out his final destination. Long term they might end up in the same place, but she was in the express lane while he was sitting on the shoulder with the map upside down.

  When he walked up next to her, Quinn looked at him and said, “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming.”

  “I figured you could use the support. I didn’t want you to fly without a wingman.”

  “Some wingman you turned out to be. I think I need to hire Griffin for the job. He rescued me from two of the most boring men I’ve ever talked to.”

  Ryan cleared his throat. “He saved you because I sent him over.”

  “Well, then, thank you. It’s kind of slow. Did Mary say more guys would be coming?” She looked past Ryan to the men standing in small groups.

  Griff pointed to Indy. “Your sister doesn’t seem to be having any trouble finding men.”

  “She never has.” Quinn sipped from her glass of pop.

  “You could always go and introduce yourself,” Ryan suggested, knowing she wouldn’t.

  Her mouth twitched into a half-smile and she straightened her shoulders. “You know what? You’re right.”

  She turned and walked away from him and into a crowd of four or five men. He didn’t know what had come over her. This was not the normal Quinn. She had a small entourage testing their keys on her. As she laughed at something one of them said, two more men made their way into the crowd. Ryan played his part well, nudging her on, secretly hoping no one would unlock her.

  Griffin had wandered off to find a place to stick his own key. Ryan held the key loosely in his hand. Nothing urged him forward to ask a woman if he could try her lock. The lack of the chase or conquest bored him. He enjoyed a challenge. His eyes found Quinn again and he shook his head.

  She backed away from the small crowd of men. The lock was still closed and nestled between her breasts. Her cheeks were pink.

  “I can’t believe I did that,” she said when she reached him. “Indy was right. She said walk the room like you own it and you do.”

  Indy had created a monster. “You were definitely successful. There were, let’s see . . .
seven men drooling over you.”

  She relaxed beside him. “They weren’t drooling. And not one opened my lock.”

  His eyes traveled down to the lock. His fingers itched to reach out and touch the soft skin above it. “You want another drink?”

  “Another diet would be great. Thanks.”

  Ryan was incredibly thirsty. If Quinn felt anything from the way he looked at her, she didn’t show it. He couldn’t keep his dick in line with the idea that he and Quinn were friends. His heart had almost as much trouble.

  He returned and pressed the cool glass into her palm, glad she was still alone.

  “Thanks.” She took a long drink. Worry crossed her face. “God. Not again.”

  “What?”

  “Joe, my former student, walked in. Why is he here?”

  “Mary would’ve invited everyone from speed dating. Sorry, I didn’t think to tell her to dump his name.” He looked over his shoulder. “We could leave.”

  “No, I did that last time.” She inhaled deeply. He watched the small, heart-shaped lock rise. “I have to get him to realize I’m not an option.”

  She stepped out from Ryan’s shadow. Ryan shifted his body and angled himself to face both Quinn and the oncoming Joe.

  “Hi, Quinn. It’s good to see you again. I was hoping you’d be here tonight.”

  Hearing him use Quinn’s name with familiarity had Ryan clenching his fists.

  “I can’t say the same, Joe. There are a lot of women here, but you walked in and came straight to me. I’m not interested in pursuing anything with you.” Color rose in her cheeks as she spoke.

  Ryan held the urge to cheer her on. She hated confrontation, but she hid it well. Her stomach was probably a mess, but from the outside, she looked like an ice queen.

  Unfortunately, her speech had little or no effect on Joe. His determined smile never wavered. “Can I at least try your lock?”

  She sighed. When he stepped closer, as if to pick up the lock, Ryan almost grabbed him by the neck. She pulled the lock away from her body. His key slid in, but it wouldn’t turn.

  He withdrew the key. “I’ll be back when I get a new key.”

  As Joe walked away, Quinn shook her head. “How can one guy be so arrogant?”

  Ryan shrugged and watched Joe speed around the room searching for the lock to fit his key. He was obviously a man on a mission, and it wasn’t to find a date. He was after Quinn.

  The room began to fill as more participants arrived. Ryan lost sight of Joe and was reluctant to leave Quinn’s side.

  Indy breezed up and hooked her arm around Quinn’s elbow. “How are you supposed to find a man if you’re standing here looking like you’re married?”

  “I’ve met some guys.”

  “Let’s meet more. You don’t mind, do you, Ryan?”

  He almost answered yes. He minded. He didn’t want her running into Joe again. He didn’t want other guys fondling her lock. Jealousy snarled in his chest, but he shook his head. “Have fun.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Quinn let Indy guide her into a crowd of men. She spoke quietly in Quinn’s ear as they moved. “This is so much more fun than I thought it would be. I’ve met a bunch of guys who might be potential clients. Some are blowing smoke, but others might come through. I’m glad I let you talk me into this.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She pulled Quinn through to the other side of the crowd until they were alone.

  “What’s going on? It’s kind of hard to meet guys if you walk right past all of them.”

  “You have no intention of meeting anyone. Plus, one look at you and Ryan, and the other guys know it’s useless.”

  “I’m meeting people. Ryan and I are friends.”

  Indy huffed and threw her arms up. “Your idea?”

  Quinn nodded.

  “Any fool can see the way your face lights up every time you see him. No other man is interested in trying to compete. You love each other. Admit it and get it over with.”

  “Of course I love him. He’s a great friend.”

  “That man is not just a friend.”

  “I’m afraid you’re wrong this time. I thought about ditching this, but he reminded me this might be my last chance to find a date before my vacation. Now he’s here to play wingman, to help me find someone.”

  Indy smacked her arm. “How can someone so smart be so utterly clueless? You teach hundreds of kids a year to understand Shakespeare, but you can’t read Ryan’s body language.”

  “I don’t see what you see.” She left Indy shaking her head and turned toward Ryan, who still stood alone.

  Man, he was so sexy her heart thumped every time she looked at him. More than that, he was kind in a way that touched her heart. She hadn’t lied to Indy; she loved Ryan. When his gaze met hers and he smiled his flirtatious grin, she knew she was in love with him as well. She had been since the beginning of the summer.

  Her heart stuttered with the full knowledge of it.

  He’d wanted to explore their relationship and he said he wouldn’t back off for good. Maybe she still had a chance. If she’d learned nothing else this summer, it was that sometimes winging it worked.

  As soon as she stepped next to Ryan, Joe rejoined her. She barely held back the growl.

  “I have a new key. Can I try again?”

  She held the lock out. His new key didn’t work either. The lock flopped back against her chest.

  “Damn.”

  “Go find someone else, Joe. I’m not interested.”

  “But . . .”

  Ryan stepped closer and her eyes met his. The smoldering look made her knees weak. His fingers touched her neck just below her ear and slid down the length of the chain until they reached the lock. Her heart rate jumped a notch and her skin warmed under his touch. Electric jolts buzzed in her head, blocking out all sound, like the first time they’d kissed. He plucked the lock and inserted his key. The lock clicked open and slid from the chain.

  Then Ryan broke eye contact and sent Joe a very satisfied grin.

  Joe stalked away without a word. Ryan’s gaze returned to hers.

  Her mouth was dry and she swallowed hard, not sure how to play this. “You planned that.”

  He smiled. “No, I didn’t. I picked a random key from the bowl.”

  “What would you have done if it didn’t work?” She spoke, trying to keep her mind on the conversation instead of how close his fingers were to her skin.

  He shrugged. “I figured he’d walk away when he saw me touching you. I know I would.”

  Her skin tingled. “Thank you. You always seem to be rescuing me.”

  He still hadn’t stepped back. “Nah, you can handle yourself.”

  Not when it comes to you.

  Butterflies danced in her stomach. She felt like a fish, flip-flopping on decisions. Let’s be friends. Let’s have sex. Let’s be friends. What if Indy was wrong? What if he laughed in her face? But she had to know. It was now or never.

  “I think I’m done. Can you give me a ride home?”

  He looked startled, and her conviction began to fade. “Unless you want to stay. Then I’ll call a cab.”

  “I’m ready to go.” He took the lock and key back to Mary.

  She waved Indy over. “You’re right. This is a waste of my time. Plus, Joe is here. I’m leaving.”

  “Alone?”

  “No, Ryan’s going to give me a ride.”

  “It’s about time.”

  “I hope you’re right and I don’t end up making a fool out of myself.”

  “I’m not wrong. It’s up to the two of you to be honest. I can’t control that.” She looked over Quinn’s shoulder. “Here comes lover boy now.”

  “Please don’t call him that. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?”

  “I’m not by myself. Even if I get bored with all of the strangers, both Colin and Griffin are here. Maybe I’ll try to work my magic on Griffin to convince him that he should be looking for a house
now. With me as his agent, of course.”

  “Ready?” Ryan asked.

  “Yeah,” Quinn answered.

  “Stay out of trouble,” Indy said, and wiggled her fingers at the two of them before inserting herself back into the crowd.

  Ryan laced his fingers through hers.

  She loved the feel of his strong hand in hers. It felt natural. She prayed that talking with him wouldn’t scare him off.

  They waved to Mary on their way out. Quinn thought her butterflies would return, but her stomach was calm. Peace settled on her and it felt good.

  She didn’t know where to start, so she tried casual conversation. “Mary must be thrilled. Another event she planned looks like it’s a success.”

  “Yeah, pretty soon she’ll be asking for a raise.”

  He seemed stiff behind the wheel, and his usual talkative self was nowhere to be found. She didn’t know if she could follow through. “So, did you have any luck unlocking locks tonight? I mean, besides mine.”

  He glanced at her quickly. “I didn’t even try.”

  Was that because he didn’t want to or because he was busy playing wingman? Either way, it was enough encouragement for her to go on.

  She blurted, “I’ve decided not to have a baby.”

  “What?” His question came out loud.

  “Having dinner with your family tonight was an eye-opening experience.”

  “Having dinner with my family freaked you out so much you don’t want to be a mom anymore? It usually takes more than one meal for us to scare people.” His easy smile returned.

  “No, your family’s great. The thing is, I can’t give a baby that. I can’t be a family by myself. Not like yours.”

  “Who said you had to be like my crazy family? Family is whatever you want it to be.”

  “I know that in my head.” She paused because sadness crushed her with the thought. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. “But in my heart, I won’t really be happy. You were right. I want the whole package. And the odds of that happening look pretty slim.”

  Saying the words out loud stung as much as the tears she held back.

  He didn’t respond, but he moved one hand from the steering wheel and took hers again. They lapsed into silence and she took comfort from his hand. She’d given him an opening; put it out there that she couldn’t find the right guy. If he was interested, wouldn’t he have offered himself again?