Shar started walking toward home, which was really not home at all. They would be leaving as soon as their home was finished. But Shar had no idea when that would be since the men were having a hard time blocking the cold wind. It seemed as if there were just too many spaces through which the wind could seep in, and not enough lumber and plastic to cover it.
“Hey, Shar, wait up.” Rodney Oldham ran up behind.
Shar kept walking.
“It’s like that, huh? You’re not even going to speak to me after I put a quarter in your tip jar a couple weeks ago?”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t stop me either. I bet you spent it quick and fast enough.”
“Okay, well, why don’t you stop following me and go on back to whatever you were doing.”
Rodney grabbed her arm and stopped her from walking. “I know you’re not still looking down your nose at me. Little Miss Holier-than-thou, singing in a nightclub.”
“Don’t touch me.” She yanked away from him. “You don’t know anything about me. So, stay away.”
“I’ll stay away all right,” he yelled at her as she walked down the street. “But you just remember that you ain’t no better’n nobody else. So stop pretending to be all high and mighty.”
Running into Rodney just made Shar feel worse than she’d already been feeling. She kept her head down as she walked the street, hoping not to run into anyone else who’d heard her sing at Ray’s place. She turned on the next block over, with her head still down, so it took her a few seconds to notice the commotion that was going on around her. People were standing on the side of the road pointing toward a house that was engulfed in flames. As Shar looked toward the house, her heart sank as she realized Mother Barnett’s house was on fire. “Oh my God!” she screamed as she attempted to run toward the house.
Two women grabbed her arms. “You can’t go over there. The house is about to collapse.”
“What do you mean, it’s about to collapse? Where are the firemen?” Shar was turning every which way trying to escape the hold the women had on her, but nothing was working.
“Listen to us,” the heavy-set, dark-skinned woman said, “The firemen never showed up. A couple of the menfolks have been running from house to house grabbing buckets of water to put out the fire, but nothing has worked.”
“But we can’t just let Mother Barnett die in there.”
“Nothing we can do. Now, we’re going to let you go, but I don’t want you running toward that house or we’re going to grab you again,” the other woman said.
When they let Shar go she was tempted to make a run for it toward the house, but the fire had begun to rage higher than it was moments earlier. Shar didn’t know what to do, but she knew that Mother Barnett didn’t deserve to die like that. Then she thought of Landon. He was, after all, Mother Barnett’s pastor. He would want to know about this. So she took off running back up the street and around the corner, back to the Johnsons’ house.
She made it to the house in less than five minutes and started pounding on the door as if she was trying to get her man out of a den of sin and ill repute.
Raymond Johnson swung the door open and demanded, “What in the world has gotten into you, young lady?”
Shar was bent over, trying to catch her breath. She lifted her head and told him, “It’s Mother Barnett. Her house is on fire.”
Landon came to the door, brushing past Raymond Johnson. “What happened, Shar? What’s got you in such a state?”
“Come quickly, Pastor. Mother Barnett’s house is burning down. I don’t know what to do, but I figured you’d be able to help her.”
“My Lord,” was all Landon said as he stepped outside the house and started running down the street.
Shar couldn’t keep up with him. As she began her trek back down the street she heard Mr. Johnson tell his wife that he would be right back.
Nettie hollered, “I’m coming with you, Daddy.”
“Grab your coat,” he said, and then they were beside her, walking with her all the way back to Mother Barnett’s house.
When they rounded the corner Shar saw Landon helping the other men pass buckets of water to one another. The man in the front of the line flung the water onto the house and then passed the bucket back for a refilling. They were utilizing several buckets at once, but it still was not enough to get the job done. Just as the woman had warned earlier, the two-story house became one story, and then no stories at all as the whole house folded in on itself.
“No, no!” Shar screamed as she took off running again. “Mother Barnett, Mother Barnett,” she was yelling as she made her way to the house. She had to find the woman who had so much faith and believed so fervently that her husband would return to her that she set a light in the window to help him see his way home.
Someone grabbed her from behind. “Let me go. I have to get Mother Barnett out of that house.”
“You can’t, Shar. It’s not safe.”
“Please, just let me go,” she begged as she clawed at the hands holding her around the waist.
Landon pulled her closer, holding her tighter. “I can’t let you hurt yourself. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” Pulling her away from the flames, Landon continued to hold her close to his side. “I’m going to take you home. You shouldn’t be here right now.”
“But I can’t leave Mother Barnett like this. She’s been waiting so long for her husband. How will he ever find the house now that it’s burned down?” Shar’s mind was running a mile a minute, trying to figure out what was going on.
Landon didn’t answer, just kept walking down the street with Shar close to his side.
Nettie and her father ran over to Landon. “What’s going on, Reverend?” Raymond asked.
“Shar has been overcome by the fire. I’m taking her home. I’ll be back once I get her settled, so I can help the men with the cleanup and recovery.” He didn’t say what they would be recovering, but it was understood.
At Landon’s words Shar let out a yelp that sounded like a wounded animal. She began crying and leaning her head on Landon’s shoulder.
Raymond eyed Shar suspiciously as he suggested, “Maybe Nettie should take her home. You wouldn’t want people to assume anything unseemly was going on. I mean, you have already moved the girl into your house. A house that’s paid for by the church, might I add.”
Nettie rushed around Landon, until she was standing next to Shar. She put her hand on Shar’s. “Come on, Shar. I’ll walk you home. Pastor Landon has his hands full with everything that’s going on with Mother Barnett’s house.”
Shar lifted her head from Landon’s shoulder. She didn’t want to walk back to the house with Nettie. She needed Landon like she needed to breathe, but she wouldn’t burden him with her frailties. She let go of Landon and allowed Nettie to take her arm. “I’ve got to get home to check on Mama.” When she said that, Shar’s eyes widened as the thought hit her. “What if Mama is on fire?”
“Your mama isn’t on fire, Shar.” Landon pulled Shar back toward him. “Thanks for your willingness to help out, Nettie. But Shar is in a terrible state right now. I’ll see her safely to her mother.”
As Landon and Shar walked away, he saw the way Raymond’s mouth twisted, as though he was tasting something foul. But Landon didn’t have the slightest interest in whatever Raymond’s mind was leading him to think.
Shar clung to him as she asked, “Why does God let all these bad things happen to us? Why doesn’t He protect us? I keep praying to Him, but bad things keep happening anyhow.”
As a preacher, it was Landon’s job to have a ready answer concerning the things of God. But for the life of him, he couldn’t find the words to explain why Mother Barnett had to burn up in her house while on her sickbed. Mother Barnett was one of the sweetest women he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing. His heart would ache with this loss for a long, long time. “I don’t know, Shar. I just don’t know,” was all he c
ould say.
“And why do we call Him the good Lord, when we don’t never see nothing but bad and more bad?” She stopped walking and dropped down onto the ground, brought her knees up to her chest, and bawled like a baby.
Seeing Shar like that was further confirmation to Landon that he needed to walk her home, rather than let Nettie do it. The Bible said that it was God’s loving kindness that draws mankind to Him. So Landon didn’t want to chastise Shar for her anger at God. He wanted to show her God’s love so that she could grow from this horrible experience and come out on the other side, while retaining her sanity and love for God. He sat down next to her, put his arm around her shoulder, and admitted, “It’s not fair, you’re right about that. I see so much each and every day that I can’t explain. I also don’t believe that colored folk need to endure this much pain and sorrow just to learn how to be humble.”
She was still crying and her nose was running as she said, “I thought I felt terrible being on the road watching white men beat on some of the men in our choir, but this is ten times worse. Mother Barnett never done nothing to nobody.”
Landon took his handkerchief out of his pocket. He wanted to use it to wipe his own eyes, as they had begun to blur, but Shar needed it more, so he handed it to her. “I believe in a bright new tomorrow, Shar. Things may be awful for us now, but God hasn’t forgotten us. It’s hard to see that with all that has happened,” Landon nodded, encouraging himself, “but we’ve got to keep the faith.”
Wiping her face and her nose with the handkerchief, Shar asked, “What if it never gets better? What if misery is all we will ever know?”
“I don’t believe that. I believe God is looking down on us, and He is working things out in ways that we can’t see right now.”
Shar shook her head, clearly having trouble believing anything Landon said.
This wasn’t the time; Landon could tell that he needed to let Shar stew for a while and then discuss this on another day . . . on a day when they hadn’t just lost the most beloved Mother of their church. He stood and pulled Shar up with him. “Let me get you home so you can take comfort in being with your mama.” When they reached his house, he knocked on Mrs. Marlene’s bedroom door.
“Come in,” Marlene said from inside.
“Mrs. Marlene, it’s me, Landon.” He opened the door and walked in with Shar still clinging to him as if he was her life support unit. “I just wanted you to know that I brought Shar home. She’s very upset, so I don’t know if she should be alone right now.”
“What happened, chile?” Marlene swung back the covers and tried to sit up.
“Don’t get up, Mrs. Marlene. I’m going to sit Shar down in the chair next to you and then I’m going to get the roll-away bed that’s been kept in the back of the house and set it up in here with you.”
As Landon helped Shar into the seat next to her mother, Shar said, “You’re okay, aren’t you, Mama?”
“Yeah, baby. I’m just lying here resting.”
“I’m thankful that God didn’t take you away from me,” Shar said as she laid her head on her mother’s bed and began to cry.
“Tell me what’s troubling you,” Marlene said, the pain in Marlene’s voice was a clear indicator that what bothered Shar, bothered her.
“It was awful, Mama. Just awful,” Shar cried out.
Landon rushed out of the room so he could get the bed as fast as possible. His one thought was to make Shar comfortable so she could get some sleep and spend a few hours not thinking about the horrific events of the day.
When Landon came back into the room, rolling the bed along with him, Marlene was still trying to get answers out of Shar. He opened the bed and set it up, whipped off the cobwebs, because it had been some time since the roll-away had been put to use. He grabbed the linen and brought it back to the room. He put a sheet on the bed and then grabbed the pillows off of Shar’s bed in the other guest room. The room was cramped with the two beds, but Landon figured that Shar didn’t need to be alone. “Come on, Shar. I want you to lie down and try to get some sleep.”
Once Shar had climbed into the bed, Landon took the seat next to Marlene.
“What done happened to my baby?” she asked him.
“Mother Barnett’s house burned down. We weren’t able to get her out of it before it caved in on itself,” he whispered.
Marlene shook her head in sadness. “I warned Mother Barnett about them candles she kept putting in the window. I don’t know why she wouldn’t listen to nobody . . . just kept believing that good-for-nothing husband of hers would find his way back home.”
“Mother Barnett had more faith than anyone else I’ve ever known. Got to be a special place in heaven for faith like that.”
“I hope you’re right about that, Pastor. I’d sure hate to think that she died like that and wouldn’t be receiving no reward for keeping the faith all these years.”
Landon stood. “I’ve got to get back over there to help out in whatever way I can. But I’ll get some dinner brought here for you and Shar. I doubt that she’ll be in any mood for cooking.”
Marlene put her hand over Landon’s and said, “You’ve been mighty good to us. And I especially want to thank you for how good you’ve been to Shar.”
Landon looked over at Shar. She was curled up in the bed with the covers pulled up to her chin. Her eyes were closed, but he noticed that tears were seeping out. Shar had so much pain that even her sleep couldn’t hold it back. He turned back to Marlene and said, “You don’t owe me any thanks. I would do anything for Shar . . . just wish I could bring her some comfort to ease some of the pain she’s carrying around.”
“I appreciate your saying that,” Marlene said. “But Shar is going to need to find a way to ease the pain she’s feeling all on her own. I’m just hoping that you’ll still be here for her once she’s found her way back to us.”
He nodded and then left the room. It broke his heart to leave the house without being able to do more to ease the pain Shar was feeling. But Landon was convinced that Shar’s pain was coming from so many different directions that he doubted if she even knew how to get out of its way.
26
Shar’s daddy had been released from the hospital and they were now back at the house she grew up in. The only draft that was coming into the house now was from the windows. They were old and in need of replacing, but there was never enough money for repairs like that. Yet, her mama was coughing less and up on her feet a lot more. Marlene and Johnny had switched places.
Before Marlene went into the hospital, Johnny had been taking care of her and trying to do everything possible to make her comfortable. But even though the hospital released him, Johnny was still frail and weak. Every time Shar looked at her father, she thought, John Henry done dropped his hammer.
Shar was thankful to help around the house as much as she could. It took her mind off of other things like Mother Barnett dying in that fire two weeks ago. The fire department had arrived on the scene a week late. When the rubble of the house was finally inspected, they determined that the fire had not been caused by a candle left burning in the window, but by faulty wiring.
It was strange how that knowledge felt bad in one way but good in another. She felt bad that Mother Barnett lived in a home that was so shabby it eventually became a death trap for her. But Shar was glad that Mother Barnett hadn’t died while keeping a light burning for a man who wasn’t thinking about coming back home.
At one point in Shar’s life, she had romanticized what Mother Barnett had been doing, but not anymore. She now realized that dying old and alone after spending all your days waiting for some no-account to come back to a home he never should have left in the first place was no way to live or die.
Shar had left the nightclub and was now working in a neighborhood beauty salon. It wasn’t much, but it helped her parents make ends meet, and she hadn’t so much as thought about Nicoli James in weeks. Landon Norstrom was a different story. She couldn’t stop thinking about
him and how wonderful he had been to her family in their time of need. Even though Landon was far from being a no-account or good-for-nothing kind of man, Shar still wished she didn’t have him on her mind morning, noon, and night. What good would all this thinking on Landon do anyway? Any love he might have felt for her was long gone. And she wasn’t worthy of it anyway.
“Shar, can you shampoo Lisa for me?”
“Sure thing,” Shar said to Dolly Peterson, the owner of the salon. She then brought Dolly’s client to the shampoo bowl and proceeded to do her job. “How are you doing today?”
Lisa smiled. “I’m doing good. Just happy to get out of the house and have something done to this nappy head of mine.”
Shar smiled back, but even as she did so, she found herself thinking back to those days of singing her heart out in Mr. Dorsey’s choir. She was thankful for the job, but Shar still felt the sting of dried-up dreams. She tried her best not to let it get her down. This was where life had taken her, and she was just blessed to be able to help her parents in any way she could. So, she kept coming to work, doing her job, collecting her tips, and then going home and helping her parents around the house.
She was also doing the weekly washings to help her mama, and then once the clothes was dry and taken off the clothesline, Marlene did the ironing. She would then see to it that the clothes were taken back to her mama’s customers during her daily walk to work. By the end of the week, Shar was worn and tired. Her one day off was on Sunday. She skipped Sunday school so she could get an extra hour of sleep. She then got up and made her way back to United Worship Center.
When Shar arrived, the choir was still singing. Nettie stood before the church and took lead vocals on “Precious Lord, Take My Hand.” Shar closed her eyes and pictured herself singing that same song while on tour. The congregation had given her a standing ovation when she’d finished. But with the way she’d trampled on her faith in order to make a little money in them nightclubs, she’d probably be stoned to death if she tried to sing that song today.
How Sweet the Sound Page 19
