Rock and a Hard Place

by Angie Stanton

  Libby and Peter talked late into the night. She dredged up all that happened to her from the drug bust, the horrors of the group home and her eventual escape. Peter relived the experience with her as she recalled the painful memories. She shared stories about the kind people of Pebble Creek, how Jerrold helped her navigate the legal system and her plans for college in the fall.

  DarLynn stayed up late watching them, but eventually climbed into her plush king bed. She left the door open to the sitting area to remind them of her presence.

  Peter told Libby about their new album and that most of the songs were about her. He shared news that he planned to buy his own place. While he loved his family, he needed more independence and time away from their constant intrusion. He even convinced his parents to agree on a second tour bus so they all could enjoy more privacy. Late in the night they fell asleep, snuggled together on the sofa.

  Morning arrived too early with the sound of DarLynn filling the whirlpool tub. Libby woke and snuggled into the comfort of Peter’s arms, unwilling to leave his side. A loud knock and the sound of the suite door opening forced them upright.

  “Good morning,” Peter’s mother said brightly.

  “Mom, this is child abuse.” Peter groaned. “I should have you arrested for waking us up so early.” He tossed a throw pillow at her.

  “Doesn’t look like you two got much sleep.” She gave them a pointed look, bustled into the room and returned the pillow to the sofa. “You kids don’t need to use up all your words the first day.”

  “See what I mean.” Peter leaned into Libby and rested his head on her shoulder. “I get no privacy. Nothing is sacred.”

  “I don’t mind.” She turned and inhaled. Peter smelled like their warm sleepy bodies and her faded perfume. Sleeping in Peter’s arms felt like pure heaven, but now his mother pretended not to watch them. Libby sat up straighter and smoothed her rumpled clothes.

  “Bring it right in.” His mother held the door to the hotel suite open.

  Two waiters wheeled in carts filled with food. As they set up a breakfast buffet on the table, the aroma of bacon, pancakes and mini quiche filled her nose. On the road trip to Denver she only ate fast food, Cheetoes and red licorice.

  “Lordy, look at all that food. Are we having a party?” DarLynn wandered into the living area wrapped in a fluffy robe embroidered with the hotel logo.

  “Good morning, DarLynn, did you sleep well?” Peter’s mother asked sounding chipper.

  “The bed sure was comfy, but I barely slept trying to stay awake and keep an eye on these two. Let’s just say I’m not looking forward to all the late nights chaperoning my boys.”

  Libby’s face warmed. “Oh my God.” She said under her breath to Peter. Chaperoned? How humiliating. “You didn’t need to stay up? We were just fine. Plus Peter’s eighteen.”

  “Now, now, I’ll hear nothing of it. He may be eighteen, but you’re not. If your mother were here, do you think she’d leave you alone all night with a boy and a hotel full of beds?” DarLynn crossed her arms, a gesture Libby’s mom often used when irritated.

  Heat crept up her neck again. No doubt, Mom would have done exactly that. Peter squeezed her hand.

  “By the way, something’s wrong with that tub in there. It’s all sparkly and pretty, but the darn jets are so strong they kept shooting me from one side to the other. I’m surprised such a fancy schmancy place would have a faulty tub.”

  Peter winked at Libby and grinned. Little tingles shot down to her toes.

  “DarLynn, why don’t you and I fix a plate and visit while the kids wake up and plan their day.” Peter’s mom said. “Plus, I can’t wait to hear more about your darling boys. I have experience on how to handle three head strong youngsters.”

  “What’s that?” DarLynn asked. “Put ‘em in a band?”

  “Exactly.”

  While the women chatted like old friends, she and Peter filled their plates. They huddled together at the granite counter and ate. She had never expected to see him again, and sitting so close was a fantasy come true. He seemed to agree as he picked that moment to kiss her. She knew their time would go fast and parting wouldn’t be easy.

  They spent the day hiking beautiful Granite Peak just outside of Denver. Roger found a trail off the beaten path, free from hoards of hikers. Thankfully he stayed in the parking lot so Libby and Peter could spend the day alone.

  It took a couple hours to hike to the top of what seemed like a mountain, but was probably just a bluff or foothill by Colorado standards. Surrounded by the scent of pine and a light breeze, the outside world fell away as if only they existed. Huge outcroppings of rocks, sprinkled with occasional brush and trees covered the peak. They sprawled against a warm boulder and enjoyed a spectacular view of the nearby mountains. Libby lifted her water bottle, took a long drink, then passed it to Peter. He offered a bag of GORP in return.

  A strong August breeze cooled their warm skin. Libby leaned back and turned her head to Peter. He wore his baseball cap backwards, presenting his devilishly handsome face. She could stare at him forever.

  “What are you looking at?” His bright eyes seemed to smirk.

  “You. I can’t believe this is happening. I never dreamt I’d see you again.” She meant it. Life had been so cruel. Reuniting wasn’t something she ever expected.

  “All this time apart and you didn’t even dream about me?” he teased.

  “Stop it. You can’t be that dumb.” She took his hand and laced her fingers with his.

  “I never stopped thinking about you.” He kissed the top of her hand.

  “Really?” She couldn’t believe he cared so much. How could she be this lucky?

  “Really.” He said.

  “So tell me about your dreams?” Libby wanted to know everything.

  “Now that I have you, there’s not much left.”

  She snuggled closer. “Really, I want to know. You’ve accomplished so much, more than most people do in a lifetime. You can’t be done dreaming at eighteen. That would be tragic.”

  “Let’s see, where do I begin?” He shifted to a more comfortable position with Libby’s back against his chest, his arms wrapped comfortably around her. “Our last album went platinum in a week and our upcoming tour sold out in minutes. That’s all great, but I want to write the kind of music that lives on for decades. I’d like to move people with the power of my lyrics and music.”

  Libby lay against him, the sun beat down on their bodies as his breath tickled her neck like a feather.

  “Then I’d like to take all the success I’ve enjoyed and do something really good with it. I’d like to help kids and sick people.”

  She listened to the low timber of his voice, feeling it vibrate in his chest as she rested against him. He would do all these things. She knew he would.

  “I’d also like to get my own place. You know, travel when I want to and not necessarily with my family. I love them, but it’s time to grow up and live my life. At least as much as possible.”

  She contemplated all he said. Reality began to seep into their perfect world.

  “And what about you?” He nipped the edge of her ear. “I’ve been blabbing away. Now that you’re legally independent, what do you want to do with your life, besides hang out with me?” He caressed her palm with his thumb.

  She’d been plotting and planning for months and it seemed everything clicked all at once. “First I want to go to school and become a graphic artist. I’ve been drawing ever since my Mom gave me my first box of crayons. It’s the one thing I’ve always loved. I’d never make much money as a regular artist, but as a graphic artist I could always take care of myself.”

  Peter rested his chin in the nook of her neck. “I’ll take care of you now.”

  She nestled in. “That’s sweet, but I’ve left my fate to others too many times and it didn’t work out, to say the least. I won’t ever do that again. Now I need to take charge of my life.”

  “But I get to be in it, don
’t I?” He teased.

  “Of course you do.” She turned in his arms and reached up for a kiss. Peter set his lips upon hers. The touch of his kisses lit her on fire. They relaxed together renewing their passion.

  Content to be together and need nothing more, they hung out at the top long enough for clouds to move in and shed a light sprinkle of rain. On their way back down the mountain Peter told her about the preparations for their upcoming tour, appearances on the Video Music Awards and Saturday Night Live. She told him about her preparations to start college in Boston this fall and the heartbreak of her failed efforts to track down her dad. Now that she had her independence, she would keep her name public so he could easily find her. No more hiding.

  # # #

  When they returned to the hotel, Peter needed an hour to shower and catch up on some band obligations. After that they would go to dinner.

  DarLynn waited for her in their hotel suite. “You two have a good day?”

  She bubbled with excitement like one of her boys on his birthday. It was apparent how much she wanted Libby to find happiness. “We did, thanks. I can’t believe we’re actually here. I can never thank you enough.”

  “Aw, it’s been my pleasure. I haven’t had this much fun since, well, since never. I got to see a Jamieson concert, make friends with Peter’s momma and stay in this swanky hotel. The boys will never believe all our stories. Look at all the amazing stuff Karen brought over for the boys, and it’s all autographed.”

  Libby looked through the pile of Jamieson t-shirts, hats and CD’s. The boys would love the gifts.

  “Oh, and Peter’s dad had the truck fixed, so we can head back anytime.”

  Libby’s head snapped up. She knew they needed to leave soon, but still, the announcement caught her off guard. She didn’t want to face reality yet. She needed a little longer.

  “And none too soon,” DarLynn continued. “I called home today and all hell is breakin’ loose. The motel over in Greenville had a fire and now the Twilight is plum over flowing. The baby’s got the flu, so Bea’s been cleaning up hurl all day. Jimmy’s momma can’t handle stress too well, sounds like she’s hitting the bottle again. She’s better as a glittery ornament than as a grown up getting her fingernails dirty. Oh, and she said Penny’s short another waitress. Apparently Vera ran off with her boyfriend. Can you imagine so much happening in just a couple a days?”

  Libby pictured poor Penny trying to keep her business running when she was short two waitresses. The woman must be exhausted. And Robby sick, the little sweetheart. The realities of life slapped her cold across the face; time for her fantasy trip to end and go back.

  “When do you want to leave?” Libby asked, willing to do whatever necessary. She and Peter hadn’t figured out the future yet. She didn’t want to leave him, but knew she couldn’t stay either.

  “Oh honey, we can wait ‘til tomorrow. I don’t want to spoil your reunion with that hottie boy of yours. Darned, you didn’t tell me he could melt chocolate with those smoking good looks. You’re the luckiest girl I know.”

  Libby smiled at her remarks. Lucky yes, despite all the loss and pain in her past. Just then Peter let himself into the suite. His eyes glittered with excitement.

  “Hi DarLynn.” He greeted.

  “Hi there yourself.” DarLynn smiled coyly.

  He crossed the room to Libby. “I talked to my mom and dad and we’ve got it all worked out.”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked.

  “Us. Our plans.”

  “Oh.” She swallowed, the time had arrived.

  “There’s good news and bad news.” He looked like a little kid with a big secret.

  “Okay, tell me.” She fought back her laugh.

  “First, the good news.” He paused for effect. “You’re coming on tour with me. It starts in early September, but you can stay with us. You’ll get to travel the country. We have a second bus now, so we won’t have to be hassled by my family all the time. Of course, my parents insisted that one of them, or Roger, be around, but we’ll be together.”

  She’d never seem him so elated.

  “Now the bad news. I have to leave tonight. I can’t believe this is happening, but the first release from our new album is due to hit in a few days along with the music video. There was some sort of mix up at the editing company and they lost a full minute of tape.” He pushed his hands through his hair. “Something about a system failure and inadequate off-site back up systems. Anyway, We have to refilm the missing scenes. It’s an outdoor shoot at the Fisherman’s Market in Seattle.”

  “Okay.” She tried to follow his confusing explanation.

  “The problem is, a storm is coming in and the only window of time to get the shooting done is tomorrow, so Adam, Garrett and I have to fly out tonight. I’m sorry.” He looked so disappointed. “But, I can be back tomorrow night or the next day for sure. Crud, that’s not true. The day after, we have rehearsals for the Video Music Awards, but you could still fly out and join me. It’ll be a lot of industry stuff, but at least we’ll be together part of the time.”

  She glanced at DarLynn who pretended to occupy herself with the television remote. “Peter, come with me.” Libby took him by the hand and led him out on the balcony for privacy. Once she closed the patio doors, they stood at the railing overlooking the beautiful skyline of downtown Denver. She’d love to share the his crazy rock star life, but deep down knew she couldn’t.

  “Are you okay?” Concern etched his face.

  “I’m fine.” She nodded and took a deep breath for courage and hoped she handled this right. “I love you. You do know that don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I know.” He squeezed her hand.

  “When I met you, you were the bright light that saved me from the darkest depths. My life was so miserable in Rockville with Aunt Marge and you were the shining star that led me to happiness. And after that, when everything fell apart and I thought you didn’t want to see me again, you still gave me strength. The happiness you brought me translated into determination to stop getting pushed around. You gave me the power to walk out of that group home and start making my own decisions. I could have never done that without you.”

  Peter looked worried. His brows turned down and his jaw tightened.

  “What are you doing?” he said.

  “I’m trying to explain this to you. You need to know how profoundly you have affected my life.”

  “Libby, please don’t.”

  “Here’s the thing. Garrett was right.” She locked eyes with him.

  “What?”

  “When Garrett called me last fall and broke us up. All the things he said were spot on.”

  “Stop talking like this.” Peter tried to turn away.

  “No, think about it. You have so many obligations, you are needed so many places all the time. You have music to write, people to meet, videos to tape, and concerts to perform. But equally important is my life.”

  He listened.

  “I have obligations too. Granted they aren’t as glamorous as yours, but they are equally important, to me.” She thought of DarLynn’s three little boys and knew she couldn’t walk away from them or Penny and DarLynn, who’d been so generous.

  Peter’s eyes turned sad.

  “I love that you want me to join you on tour. It is beyond nirvana. But if there is one thing I’ve learned these past months, it’s that I need to live my own life. I need to take the lead and make my life happen. I need to go to college, get a great education and be able to take care of myself the rest of my life. As much as I’d love to be with you, I would only hold you back.”

  “That’s not true,” he argued.

  “I can’t get a college education, chasing you all over the country and the world. You have things you need to do, and you will do them. I have amazing things I need to do too.

  “We can do them together.” He searched her eyes.

  “Right now there are a handful of people back in Pebble Creek who mo
ved heaven and earth to help me get here to be with you. And now I need to go back and help them in return. You need to go catch your plane and take care of the video. Peter, as much as we both want this. I don’t see how it can work. I can’t back down on my goals. I’ve lost too much and I can’t gamble my future. You are the most gifted person I’ve ever known. It would be foolish to think you could walk away from the opportunities ahead of you. You’re too smart for that.

  Peter released her, rested his arms on the balcony rail and stared into the distance.

  “These past twenty-four hours have been amazing. A fantasy come true, but it’s time to get back to our lives. I’ve got only a few weeks to wrap up things in Georgia, before I leave for school.”

  “I will always love you and follow you with my heart wherever you are in the world. Now that we’ve found each other, I want to stay in touch, but to put the pressure of a relationship on you is too much. It’s too much for you and too much for me. When I’m in school, I need to concentrate and work hard. I can’t take off for days at a time to meet up with you. I’d never succeed. And you wouldn’t succeed trying to constantly get away to be with me. Am I making sense?”

  “I’m not going to answer that,” he said stubbornly.

  She smiled. He got it. He just didn’t want to admit it.

  He took her hand and pulled her to him, burying his face in her hair. “Dammit Libby. Why’d you have to be so sensible?” He murmured in her ear. “I don’t know how to let you go. I don’t think I can do it.” His voice broke with emotion.

  “We have no choice. You need to go one direction and I need to go another. But we’ll take the love with us. No one can ever take that away.”

  “I don’t like it.”

  “I don’t either,” she whispered.

  A knock on the patio door interrupted them. Adam peered out. They released each other. Peter turned away from the door, hiding the anguish on his face. Libby waved Adam to join them.

  “Hey Adam,” she said, her sadness clear.